Oh my god.

I don’t understand this .

Honestly; another half? Are you kidding me? I’m already a full person, functioning properly all by myself. I’m not a half of anyone. Or a half of me isn’t someone else. What the is going on?

So he likes me. I asked him what he wants my friend laughs. “He wants you; obvious much.”

And I’m over here having a ‘wait a second’ moment, because 1) that came out wrong, and 2) what the does he want from me?

Wait; hold up. To want a person? Is that like same as wanting a new cover for your J5 or is it like wanting to watch deadpool? The difference being: having it with you 24/7 + benefits, and ‘Oh that was so much fun! I need to re-watch the whole thing with subtitles again.’

No wait; I’ve liked people before. Oh yeah. I had a crush on a guy I used to meet once in a while and I would literally just stand there sweating a gallon and blinking my eyes and wondering why I didn’t hear my aunty slip right next to my chair.
Why the was I so nervous?

Is that the way he likes me?

Oh . Problem again. The guy I had a crush on – I never wanted him! Like can you imagine the two of us seated opposite each other trying to talk; but can’t, because I am a stuttering mess and I can’t take my eyes off of him at the same time I don’t want to creepily stare into his face and so I don’t know where to look and instead I actually start to count how many legs I have; and like oh my god. I don’t have five legs! What the is happening?

So no.
I don’t want him anywhere near me.

My friend say he’s nice; this recent one.
And he sure does appear the part.

He is nice.
But a little overbearing.

Like;
he has to apologize twice, say thank you thrice, and make me repeat its fine a hundred times.

Oh and one more.
He’s a ing extrovert. Oh terrible; very. So many friends. He introduces me to fifty people each day and my brain explodes trying to remember names. I tell him I’m not good with names and faces and he laughs and nods and points at another person and tells me their name and the department they’re from.

I’m just like… Have you heard of taking it slow?

Does he look good?

Okay this is clearly Himchans fault. Out of five, he’s like two. To me.

But where I work, Out of five, he is six. Everyone wants to date him, he’s like hot cakes. I’m just standing here watching all the girls pass and throw at him a flirty comment like – why don’t you just date her, she seems interested; and he looks back at me with an awkward smile like – sorry about that.

And I tell him that I’m only giving him a chance and he’s like some sort of excited golden retriever and I can’t help flatten my face.
A voice at the back of my head is like: “This will not end well.”

My friend thinks that I like him but I don’t want to admit that.

Well this is where the real problem lies.

I like someone in my department. He sits next to me and I don’t know what I want from him like what the , I have no idea – but it’s different. This is so ed up because everyone in our department thinks that I am dating the retriever; including the one I potentially like.

Oh god the frustration.

Everyone in the lunch room literally ‘Ships’ me with the retriever. Like 100%. They have a ing ship name. Do you know how awkward that is?!

Oh my god what am I even doing.
I went on a group-ish date with retriever and held hands with him and ten seconds later I’m like: Oh my god, what am I doing? Don’t hold his hand! You don’t even like the bugger! Damn, damn, damn.

If this goes on and I don’t come to like him; literally makes me a player, right?

/slaps myself/

WHY_DO_PEOPLE_NEED_OTHER_PEOPLE_I_DONT_GET_IT.