For those who read my stories... I don't know how you view me according to how I write my love stories... maybe some of you think I have a lot of experience with that and some may think my view of it is too childish... honestly I have no idea.

The truth is... I don't believe in true love.

I want to believe in it though, I want to think it's true, that you can love someone unconditionally and live happily ever after... but let's be honest here, it does not happen... ever.

Let me rephrase that... it's not that I don't believe in it... it's that I can't.

I never saw it, I never had the chance to witness what real true love was. I read a lot about it though but that's it...

My father and my mother never showed that they loved each other... They both admitted that they broke up a bit before mom announced she was pregnant and they got back together because of me only to break up officially when I was five.

My mom only ended up dating crappy men afterwards... violent guys, alcoholics, mentally unstable, drug-addicts... 

When I was eleven I decided to leave and went to live with my dad because I'd had enough of her .

But it was no better there... having married a woman who had already three kids... I ended up being the youngest and was really different then the three other girls... the woman was not really a good mother either. Having married my dad two years ago she was a serial cheater... cheating on my dad over and over... she did not really loved him... but dad was head over heels over her.

Two years later she broke up with him and me and dad were now alone... much like now, only the two of us. He's still madly in love with her even though she does not give a about him. He does everything for her and she just... I'm so mad at her all the time, everytime she calls 'cuz I feel like she uses him. I told him about it but he said that it was none of my business... I wish I had eough guts to tell her how bad of a human being she is to just around with men.

And here mom is, acting like the ing BS she is, drinking her off, making my brother play violent video games and watch gore movies when he's just 6 years old, keeping yelling over the phone at her drug-addict convicted boyfriend between two sips of beer. And then she dare tell me I won't get anywhere in life.

...

I just look at my parents... one being used by the woman he loves... and the other just ing her whole life up because she wants a man in her life...

How the hell am I supposed to believe in love?

And people wonder why I have always been single.