Some of you may know that in february, I had signed in to be on a waiting list for aesthetics classes...

In my mind, it was clear, I was not making it in this year.

So I just continued on, working over 40hours a week and juggling between two jobs, having 2 to 4 free days a month.

My boss at the resto asked me a lot about this, wanting to know if I had had any news...

I always ended up giving her a negative answer.

Which kind of upset me, because for a year already, I've been desiring to go back to school, learn some more.

Heck I'm turning 21 and all I have in my pocket is a high school diploma.

My step sisters always used to look at me with jealousy when we were in school, I was always the one having 70-80% in every classes, helping my elder step-sisters with their homework when I was not supposed to know the subject... yet here I was, 20 with only a high school diploma while one is having paramedic internships and the other two work as auxiliary nurses...

While walking home yesterday, I was looking in front of me and telling myself. '' The best christmas present I could have would be a letter from school, saying that I'm starting in January''

...

I think the sky didn't hear my wish well!

When I got home earlier, I took my phone out to check it up and saw two missed calls from an unknown number and a voice message. 

My heart sunk down to my toes when I heard the message: A person had bailed out on the class and they had now a free spot that I could fill.

Here's the thing: 

1. I never even IMAGINED I could make it in this year.

2. I have two jobs right now.

3. The classes start in one week.

4. I have no damn material for this.

...

Still I called them back, damn my school comeback was served right in front of me, I would be mad not to take the chance.

So I accepted their offer...

I did...

but now I'm actually wondering whether I did the right thing or not.

Ever since I hung up with the woman, I have a lump in my throat and I feel like running out of the house, go anywhere and just scream and cry.

THE DEADLINE IS TOO CLOSE!

I now have a week to do everything!

- Four days to find 411$

- Quit one of the two jobs

- Tell my new schedule to the one that I'm keeping

- Find the supplies and uniform

- Take a bus card because the school is some miles away from home.

- GET INTO MY HEAD THAT I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

...

I. AM. FREAKING OUT GUYS....

It's almost been 3 years since I got thrown out of college!

I've changed ever since but...

I just feel like my anxiety is coming back and I know that I'm freaking out for small things but I can't help it.

I'm so scared of failure and all I can focus on is what could go bad....

...

Well... I just felt like I needed to tell this to you.

I'm going back to school.

... apparently.

it's 8pm right now and I've been trying to calm down for 4 hours so...

I'm going to get back to my stories, the only things that ever manage to relax me.