No. Just no. N. O. You do not do this to noona. You do not do this to Inspirits. You do not do this to the world.

Don't you give me that innocent yet suffocatingly y look, young hamster man. Nah-uh, you're not going to charm your way out of this, not when you and your company, Woollim Trollim are obviously out to annihilate every last shred of sanity and scrap of reproductive capability your brainwashed devoted fans have. Not to mention, empty our wallets of any useable currency.

Why else would you decide that it was all right to manufacture such magnficently merciless merchandise?!? For that's what this card collection you've come out with is! Just cruel! CRUEL. (Warning: Capslock will be used judiciously!)

WHY DO I FEEL THIS BURNING IN MY LADY BITS OVER THAT LITTLE FAKE TATTOO? I DON'T EVEN LIKE TATTOOS. I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE OUCHY.

Is he...is he BLOWING on that football? I mean, I know Gyu ain't the sportiest dude on Earth, but "blowing on it" is not a football play, and I feel like he ought to know that. Or maybe he's trying to kiss it? In which case I say, "Gyubaby, that may work to score touchdowns with your stans, but will likely not be as effective on a linebacker." (Although, who knows, right?) And in that other card on the right...he's just standing there. Cradling the ball. With headphones wrapped around his neck. Dressed like a strawberry pavlova. While licorice flies above his shoulder...Yeah, I don't get it, either, but my babymaking parts are intrigued.

Cutie commander. Strawberry popsicle. THIS IS THE KILL SHOT, Y'ALL. HOMICIDE, I TELL YOU. Someone call the cops and report a fanwoman murder!

I'M ALREADY DEAD, YOU JERKS! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!? CAN'T YOU SMELL THE FIERY REMAINS OF MY LOINS?

This post approved by Kim "Collect them all and leave your sanity by the wayside" Sunggyu.

*Pictures credited to their rightful owners.

**Also, I totally envy everyone who is now suffering from owning these cards. I want your pain!