Okay, I am sorry guys, you can skip this if you want but I just have to vent and just...uuhh! So ever since the 50 Shades of Grey movie has been being talked about, I have been getting for my fics! Seriously! People who are not even subscribed to them have inboxed me saying how I should be ashamed of myself for making these fics! Look, these comments are coming from people who HAVE NOT READ MY FICS! They are judging them just because of the titles! They do not understand that I have CHANGED things within my fics like making Siwon more human than the character in the book, and making Kyuhyun stand up for himself (which there is more still of that to come!)

While yes, I did base my fics off of the books, it is not like I am going word for word from them! My fics are not duplicates of the books! PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT! This all started around the time the movie was going to come out when people started bashing the books and all (and while I read all the books, they were not the BEST, I will agree with that), and then it died down. All of the sudden, I started getting more inboxes again. WHAT THE HECK! Come on! You have not even read my fics so do not judge me for it! There are some people I talk to in my inbox who I REALLY enjoy talking to so it is a complete bummer when I see I have a message and think it is one of them just to find out it is yet someone else who feels the need to bash me!

I seriously never knew fanfiction existed until a little while before my beta introduced me to this site (yes...I really did live under a rock and had no idea what fanfiction was...I believe my beta had to explain it to me the first time she told me about it...). First I was just reading fics and enjoying them, but when I first came to this site I NEVER thought I was going to be writing anything and posting it. I have always loved writing because it helps me clear my head and is a great stress reliever for me so I was thrilled when my beta offered the idea of me creating my own version of the books! I thought, ‘Sure! I could easily make this a WonKyu fic, change some things...take some things out...put an actual PLOT in...yeah! I can do this!’ So I started writing the fics and was having a great time with it, and each time I did something bad to Kyuhyun I would tell my beta that I felt like I needed to go give him a hug and I would face towards the direction of Korea and shout, “I AM SO SORRY KYUHYUN! I STILL LOVE YOU!” And I did this while in a college dorm...so just imagine the confusion I was causing people by shouting this at all different times of the day/night.

Okay...I went on a bit of a tangent right there...sorry about that -_-’’ The point is, I got into writing fanfiction and I was really enjoying it until I started getting some of the inboxes that was. I mean, I know the people who leave the inboxes who are not a subbie of mine (while some are but I will touch on that later) most likely do not go looking through my fics, but there is always that small chance that they can since I do not have anything like “subscribers only” on my fics. Honestly...it makes me nervous to post some of the things I write, and sometimes I double think if I want to change what happens in a chapter because I do not want to deal with the backlash from other people. Nothing I have written is trigger warning material, other than chapters 19 and 20 in More Complicated (but I gave you guys a warning on both of those), so I should not feel so complicated about my work. I have not gone back and changed what I have previously written so far, because I am proud of what I have written, but sometimes that thought still comes across my mind. Or sometimes I start to think, “This might be a little too much...maybe I should tone it down a bit…? Should I? It is not like this deserves a trigger warning or anything...” :/

As far as any of my subbies who have inboxed me regarding things, I am going to take the links and things you have been telling me as more of, “Did you know this is what people are saying?” because I would like to think that you are all supportive and do not wish that I would change my writing because of things that are said about the books/movie.

But all I can say to those people who are comparing my fics to the books and saying how they are about all the ual power and how it is uneven ually...if they actually took the time to read my fics, Kyuhyun confesses that he is a bit of a masochist and even TOLD Siwon that he was. It is not like Kyuhyun is staying around thinking how much he hates being around Siwon and what Siwon does! And Siwon usually asks Kyuhyun if he is alright after they do something ual and Kyuhyun tells him that he has enjoyed it, or if it was a bit too much. THEY ARE COMMUNICATING SO THEY CAN BOTH ENJOY THEIR TIME TOGETHER!

I just...uhhh...my precious subbies...I am sorry if you found yourself reading this and are now thinking, “Wow...this is pathetic...get over yourself!” or anything along those lines. I understand. It was just something I could not keep in any longer and just needed to vent about.

It is just...aahhh! If you have not read my fics, please do not judge them! I mean, look any other style fanfiction! Take away the title from my fic and it is just like any of the other fanfictions! There is one person with the power and the other who submits to them! I have read other fics where there is a contract the Submissive signs, just like in my fic. Plus, it is not like the contract is so the Dominant can have all of the power, it is so they understand each others LIMITS! And in other fics there is punishment and control coming from the Dominant just like in mine (but even so...by early in the second fic Siwon and Kyuhyun had dropped the Dominant/Submissive relationship and they were just going to try and have a normal relationship with some fun play still thrown in, which people who only judge my fic based on the title would not understand). It is not like I am the only one writing these kinds of things! I could change the name of my fic to anything and I bet I would not have been getting a backlash I have been for them! It is not like I am writing things and people are going, “Wow...you took that WAY too far, what is wrong with you!?” I know when to draw the line for what should and should not be trigger warning-ed and I have not crossed that line with these fics.

For everyone that has subscribed either at the very beginning when 50 Shades of Choi was starting, or even today if you just so happened to come across this fic and started reading it because you saw it was a newly updated WonKyu fic or for some other reason. Whenever you came in, I appreciate all of you, whether you are a silent reader, comment now and then, or comment on each and every chapter. I know I try to seem perky and happy whenever I write my author notes or respond do you guys in the comments, but my self-esteem seriously takes a huge nosedive when people start bashing me for what I am writing. I am not just saying, “Oh my self-esteem is low,” to get people sympathizing with me. It is something I have felt since I was young and am still working on. And honestly, this site has helped me because of your guys support of my fics and I feel like you genuinely care about them and support them! Starting off, I thought, ‘Oh so maybe 50 Shades of Choi will get 100 subbies if I am lucky, I just want to write to write’ and then now I look and see how many I have and I think, ‘Wow...so many people actually read my fics and enjoy them...this is the first time I have done something like this and I actually appear to be good at it?’

I enjoy seeing that some of you say I make your Mondays better by posting, and everyone needs to have a good start to their week which is why I decided I wanted to be a Monday poster! And now in two months, it marks two years since I have started posting anything for my fics. Each and every Monday I have posted a chapter (sometimes two) for you guys. I try hard. I really do! Even when I am busy I try! Even when I was still in school and was dealing with trimesters (three terms, ten weeks each...stressful) and a -load and a half of homework and group projects and just everything school related, I still wanted to post weekly for you guys even if I had two tests, a group project,and a paper that was worth 70% of my grade (yes that was a case one time)! So to go through all that hard work and stress to suddenly have people say things like, “You should be ashamed of yourself for writing something like that!”, “Did your parents seriously raise a child like you who supports this kind of thing”, “You need to get yourself a therapist to fix what is wrong in your head” and many many more harsh comments...let us just say my self-esteem plummeted back down. I am purely doing this because I want to!

I even get links in my inbox to sites that talk about how bad 50SoG is and how wrong it is. I have gotten these from non-subbies and subbies alike (as mentioned a couple paragraphs up). All I can say is, yes...I am very well aware of opinions about the book and I agree with some of them because I know people who are involved with with their significant others and I have seen them talk about it through social media. I also learned about this topic in a couple of my psychology classes so it is not like I am coming into this completely blind. Heck, I became so interested in this topic that during one of my psychology classes when we had to purchase a DSM I looked specifically at Sadism and Masochism. No, I am not going to claim I am an expert on this topic, I know I am not, I know I am no where close! But at least I have some understanding behind it and not just coming into this going, “It is about one person beating another.” (Because she is at least a psych GRADUATE and knows more than the “champions of the internet” that leave all of the “lovely” comments in her inbox that makes me want to violently punch them multiple times in the face with a spiked brick and throw them into a vat of boiling oil and set them on fire~! :D Love ya Ostrich ^3^ -Beta/Zebra)

And because I can, I will make this educational! You can look at these if you would like to learn a little more about Sadism → http://www.theravive.com/therapedia/ual-Sadism-Disorder-DSM--5-302.84-%28F65.52%29 and Maochism → http://www.theravive.com/therapedia/ual-Masochism-Disorder-DSM--5-302.83%28F65.51%29. So yes, if you would like you can read up a bit about it. There were other links I could have posted but they went into more psychological terms and statistics so I went with these since they simply explained things and got the important information in.

Even my friends who are not a part of AFF but enjoy k-pop support me without question because they know I am doing what I love. Writing! Being creative!

Right now I feel like this panda when I would rather feel like this panda

*Breaths heavily*

Okay...I want to say I am done right now...I just had to get that off my chest -_-’’ Sorry if you wasted your time looking through that, once again...I am just going to go bury myself in my panda plushies now, because that is what I do when I just become over-stressed and down on myself. Time to cuddle up against Hangeng (my literally, GIANT panda), and surround myself with the other 13…I might have a panda obsession...

(End of Rant Corner)