The shocked silence lasted all of five seconds.  You both started babbling, the words tumbling over and under each other, blending into chaotic noise.  You caught bits and pieces of what Onew was saying, but were way too occupied with your own thoughts to pay much attention.

“WHAT WAS THat again?  You…SHINee…stylist…I….I…I’m confused.”  You started off almost yelling but ended in a dazed mumble.  When had all this happened?  This was the first you were even hearing that the boys’ company was looking for a stylist, let alone that you have already been selected.

Isn’t there some sort of application process, don’t I have to submit a portfolio of my work or something?

“I mean, I….I’m not even a famous designer, I’m just starting out…why on earth would they want me?  I…I’m just a little, um, stunned…,” your voice trailed off into nothing.  You kept throwing your hands around in the air, unrecognizable parts of stuttering speech falling from your mouth.  It was impossible not to act a bit dramatic after such a bombshell.  Your mind was racing, zipping from thought to thought so quickly that it seemed like nothing made sense. 

One instant you were crazy thrilled-

OMG!  It’s SHINee!  I know them, I mean I know the guys, but just as guys, not as the idols.  This is HUGE!  This could rocket launch my career.  I was going to take some time off to deal with the estate, but this is too big to pass up! SHINee! OMG!  Ottokae?   Oh, the chance to dress them how I’ve always wanted to….I need a sketch pad, NOW!  A million ideas already…OMG! OMG! OMG! Something they can move around in, but still look amazing… I can’t be fangirling, I need to get to work, and it means I get to dress Jinki..*mental squeal of delight*….OMG- it means I get to dress Jinki. He needs to look good...and the other boys, finally a chance to get my hands on them, god what I could do with such faces, such bodies….AHHHHHHHHH!  

credit: ceci.joins.com

The next you crashed into doubt-

But can I do a good job? Why would they pick someone unknown- there are a thousand designers that would jump at this chance- a thousand people MORE qualified than I am.  Is this a pity-job?  I wonder if he pulled some strings?  If the job is open, I’d rather get it because they liked my work, not because I know Lee Jinki, and everyone else.  Not because they knew my parents.  I’m a professional, darn it.  Should I take it anyway?  But how can I when I might not be the best person for it- I don’t want to mess up SHINee’s image- OMG the fans would kill me.  And I don’t want to disappoint the guys, especially Jinki.  God, Ottokae?!?

credit: unknown

And the crux of the matter-

It means I’d get to be around him for a while longer. I love everything about him, and this is my chance to be in his light for a least a bit.  The memories I could make- they might even be enough to hold on to once this impossible dream is over.  When the job is done, I can leave knowing that someone who actually cared deeply about the guys, and Jinki-ssi, and did the best of her ability for them.

It means I’d be around him for a while longer.  It’s so hard already knowing that I can’t love him the way I want to…am I brave enough to handle being this close to him- dressing him, working side by side with him every day?  Am I strong enough to just be his friend and not complicate his life with my love?  He already has so much pressure- I can’t place another burden on him, yet another set of expectations.

I think I'm going to pass out

“Look, we’ve all seen your work, and you’ve helped style us before, you know, given us advice when you were in town, even given us some clothes, which you know we all really liked, and it’s not like this wouldn’t help you out as you’re trying to start up your own label- I mean, not to boast or anything, but you know that we’re doing pretty well in Korea, and Japan seems to like us after the first album tour over there, so it would be like getting your style out to two countries for sure, let alone all our international fans too, who follow us on the net.  Now that SM is doing the concerts in Europe & America, it’s like a world-wide thing, arrasso? I know that…,” Onew kept talking, barely pausing for breath.

His Korean was so rapid, you were having trouble following it, for all you’d become fluent years and years ago.  It wasn’t out-of-character for him to get excited about even the smallest things, but you had never heard him lose his calm in quite this way.

“….and sure I suggested you, but they’ve seen your work before, and I told them that you could have a portfolio put together in no time, that they’d be so impressed with whatever concept you came up with that there is no way they wouldn’t sign on a hundred percent, and you know that you would have to travel with us for the round of promotions and even after the album release, but you’ve always liked being hands on with your work, so that should be a good thing and…”

Little nuggets of his quick-fire babbling were starting to come together in your mind, and a tiny, very confused seed of combination annoyance/intimidation/fear/relief/happiness started to grow, swelling to the point where your head was pounding with the stress.

“Dak-chyeo!”  You flung both hands up with military crispness, a commanding firmness in your voice.

He stopped in mid-sentence, almost gasping as he tried to catch up with his breathing.  He had pretty good lung capacity (singers do after all), but not quite good enough to sustain a one-sided conversation for three minutes.  As he had just proven to himself.

You pointed an accusing finger in his direction, stabbing it toward his bone.

“We are going to sit down and discuss this.  Calmly. Rationally.  And I had better get some truthful answers, Mr. Lee Jinki-ssi,” you said ominously.

He gulped. With wide eyes, he slowly nodded.

A/N: lol- hope i got the "shut up" right...I asked around but got a couple different answers, it is supposed to be the rude version of "be quiet", cause you know you're a little peeved at that moment.  If its wrong, mianhe- let me know so I can correct it :D  BUT- 20 subbers!!!!! *happy dance*