Chapter 6: A Dead Person is A Person of the Past

After the disaster that is dinner, I hastily got up and headed straight to my room wanting to escape the distressing situation that I unconsciously created out of my pent up frustrations.

I couldn’t run much from it though, as I could feel Jessica a step behind following me.

And true enough the moment I slammed the door shut, she again with her trembling hands, grabbed my rumpled collared shirt and with venomous voice to match her intense glare demanded me to answer “Tell me why you asked them that?”

Then with one tear running after the other with every bat of her eyes, not erasing that intense glare she pleaded.

“W-why?...”   

“…”

“I… I can’t believe you made them say what they did…” gradually she let go of me, and as her knee fell softly on the floor, mine did too.

I can’t believe I did that either…

I…

I can’t believe I hurt her.

And we sat there together silently crying, so unlike the night that passed, where we would just sit side to side on the same spot, laughing and talking about my life and the life she used to live.

“I’m sorry Jessica”

“…”

I can only softly whisper as she kept her head down, her hair blocking her suffering face.

I wanted to tell her more, so much more, with words that I didn’t know how to say. To beg for her forgiveness… to comfort her… ask her to stay… but as if time decided to run ahead of us, my Omma opened the door, before I could even say any of the words that were slowly being left unsaid.

I didn’t even notice that we were here inside the room for that long a time.

“Taeyeon?

What are you doing?”

“Nothing”

“Oh my god honey! Are you crying?!”

“No… No Omma, some dust just went into my eyes when I fell on the floor Ha.Ha.” Classic. I tried unconvincingly to convince her.

But as if knowing she’d never get through me, my mom sighed and asked instead. “Did you hear something strange just now? That’s why I came here”

Strange sound?

“It’s a rapping sound…”

“She said it’s a rapping sound”

“Sometimes that sound comes out of me.”

“The ghost said she’s the one that makes the noise”

I don’t know why but I began translating Jessica’s word into that of the living.

Maybe it was my atonement for the scene earlier.

Maybe it was a plea for others to finally see her, because this set-up is driving me crazy.

Or maybe it was me justifying that she was there and that she can be of the living.

Omma however just raised her brows, scoffing in obvious disbelief “Don’t be ridiculous”

…

…

And then she left the both of us just like how she found us when she came. Sitting side by side, looking at the floor, with words, so much words I had still left unsaid.

000000000000000000000000000

After that night, me and Jessica stopped talking.

She would still come at night and stay in my room, but even as she did, I pretended to sleep.

I didn’t know how to face her.

I didn’t know what to say,

I didn’t know what to tell…

Would you if you were in my shoes?

But as if she was the one who had something to confess, I’d listen to everything that she’d say.

And I ended up getting hurt over and over again as I did.

“I... Why did I have to die?”

“Why couldn’t I just live normally like everyone else?”

“If I could, I wish I could go inside her body and cause her pain!”

“But… no one but you could see me… “

“They can’t see, hear or feel me!”

“…”

“And…”

“I can’t bear to take a mother from my children twice…”

“And… I can’t also bear to take a wife away from him…”

“…”

“Taengoo…”

“I’m lonely, so lonely…”

And she’d crawl over my bed and cry the whole night after saying those words.

She didn’t know, but I’d quietly cry with her too.

She was asking questions I wanted to answer too.

“Why… why did you have to die?”

“Why couldn’t you just live normally like everyone else?”

“If I could, I wish I could go inside your body and ease your pain.”

“But… I could only see you … “

…

“Jessica…”

“I’m lonely, so lonely too…”

And as if these questions bothering my mind aren’t bad enough, I’ve started to feel this ache on my chest recently as well…

At first it was very mild and unnoticeable I just disregarded it. But now...

Every time I take a glimpse of the ghost Jessica, dragging her feet and moving around my room every night, muttering her distresses in life after death…

It has grown hurtful, more and more…

I wonder.

She died in this bed due to a heart disease didn’t she?

Am I,

Am I getting possessed and sacrificed as well?

000000000000000000000000000

One morning I got up early and immediately saw my Omma in the kitchen, fixing breakfast and packed lunch for all of us.

“Oh Good morning Taeyeonie~ You’re up early today-“

I…

I don’t know why, but maybe because of hearing Jessica cursing my mom every evening I unconsciously pointed my index finger at her and accused her of-

“You! You know you’re—“

Oh damn.

At that everyone stopped eating and took a glance at me. Even uncle dropped the newspa