Chapter 4: Ghosts are Like Reflections on the Water

That weekend, we set off to a drive towards Daegu where Sulli and Minho could run to their hearts content. It was such a fine day, the fields looked like they were popping straight out of a children’s picture book. I admit, I was never a fan of outside activities, preferring more the alcoves of the music room or the allure of my bedroom, haha, but funny, with the birds cheerfully chirping and flying, Omma playing left and right with the two kids, and me and uncle lazily staying here on the checkered mantle atop fresh meadows, and with that girl ghost perched up high on top of the sole oak tree we took shade in, yodeling like silly, I swear I finally understood what Ralph Vaughan Williams saw with his Lark Ascending.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR2JlDnT2l8

^ Play this to listen to Lark Ascending

My professor once described this song as the theme that plays when a soul last glances at his life before he departs. At first I didn’t really get what he was saying much less grasp how that could sow in well with the depiction of the English country side, but as one of the many things I’ve began to realize spending time with my Appa’s former wife Jessica, and with the song’s chorus playing repeatedly at my head at every glance I took of the girl.

Maybe I thought.

I’m beginning to understand what he was trying to say.

“OMMOENIE!!!! I need to go pee!” Sulli runs almost colliding with Omma.

“Okay!”

“Wait Ommoenie! I wanna go too!” Minho from the back pulls Omma’s skirt as she lifts Sulli up in her arms.

Sigh… I pulled out a stick, placing in between my lips looking through my pockets for my yellow cricket lighter when…

Urk! Shoot. Hurriedly I removed the offensive thing out of uncle’s sight. Due to my full stomach I must’ve let my guard down! That Kimbab is to blame! hehehe Lame. I forgot this was a wholesome trip with the family. I awkwardly grinned at the old man, scratching the back of my head in the process. He didn’t seem to mind though, as he was just staring blankly at me.

Sometimes, I really can’t make heads or toes with the man.

Not wanting to embarrass myself any further I diverted my attention to the girl sitting at one of the highest branches of the tree.

Whoa, she’s up so high

Isn’t she afraid of heights at all?

…

Well, I guess you wouldn’t, if you consider you can’t die anymore…

That thought didn’t really sit well with me. It bothered me to know that I could only understand her now when she was already…

dead.

I wondered if she was like that too when she was still living?

Then at the pit of my stomach I felt this familiar sick feeling. I kinda felt, just kinda okay?!, envious that I wasn’t able to know what she was like before.

Was she the same girl? Was she sickly? Did she laugh so much more than she does now? What made her happy then?

She was so beautiful sitting like a fallen angel on top of that tree. Like she just fell out of heaven and landed there.

Well, ghosts aren’t that much different from angels I guess?

“They were children”

Huh?

“My 19 year old wife had them when I was already past 40. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but…

Then I felt as if I was the only one growing old.”  Uncle looked at me while adjusting his glasses; he looked like he would blush at the moment so he turned his head towards the right looking at Omma and the kids at the distance.

“I’m… I’m very happy though to have a daughter your age. It makes everything feel just right.

Let’s drink together a year from now, why don’t we?”

…

…

AWKARD SILENCE….

…

…

“AHAHAHA YOU’RE BOTH BLUSHING! HOW CREEPY!”

Urk! Oh no Jessica saw that?!

I wanted to say SHUT UP! But that would’ve made me more silly and suspicious than ever. Errr.

“Hihihi Remember midget that handsome guy is my husband! So don’t you go fan-girling on him you hear?!”

“Or else you know what’ll happen to you!!!!”

“…!”

I can’t even imagine how I’ll be pinning for the same guy as her. Brrrr Omma is so lucky.

UGH! And why me? Why would I even dare!

I don’t even-

Oh right…

She doesn’t know I swing that way…

“Taeyeon?”

Instea