• Title (1.5/5)

I don’t like the title, I mean is so common and it doesn’t give me feels, you know. Besides is so explicit, I already know what is the content of the whole story just with reading the title, so very predictable. But it relates to the story so I guess is okay.

• Foreword/Description (6/10)

I think the description is kind of cute, especially the quotes that you put on the foreword, is something different and lovely. Besides is short and it goes straight to the point which is great in my opinion, since I really hate long and boring introduction, so good job in this one. But I don’t know, I feel that something is missing. It doesn’t make me curious, and certainly it doesn’t sound that interesting.

• Characters (15/15)

Congratulation! Full score in this one. I absolutely love these crazy characters, like seriously. I love the fact that each character has its own personality. They are seriously so different from one another and yet they manage to be best friends and that’s something so overwhelming and meaningful. Chanyeol is just a dorky and he’s so spontaneous too, I think I like him the best. Kris is the nerd, I think? Oh and I didn’t expect him to be the narrator, but I like it. And finally Kyungsoo, he’s the shy type, right? I totally like his personality, he’s so cute!

• Layout/Poster/Background (6/10)

The poster is cute! Kyungsoo looks so tiny and squishy in the middle of those giants, really. Yet the front page looks way too simple and blank, you should really put a background or something to make it livelier and colorful, that way it would give me the vibes, you know. On the other hand, I think you really should cover those links, at least put the names of the shops in order to organize everything, it looks kind of messy.

• Storyline/Plot (8/20)

Okay, I have to admit that I liked it to a certain point since is so cute and adorable. Yet I feel there is no plot. Yes, sure, you have a group of friends having fun and such, but that’s all. I don’t know where you want to go with all of this, is just uncertain and aimlessly. It’s great that you want to focus on their friendship which is not THAT overused, but that’s all. I need a direction to follow and this is so random.

• Grammar/Narrative elements (17/20)

Your grammar is good enough, of course there are some mistakes here and there, but is not enough to distract me of what I’m reading so no problem with that. Now let’s talk about of your writing style, well your writing is good, but you need to describe a lot more. You didn’t describe the places in which you situated your characters neither the weather, so please have that in mind. Oh and please try to put less dialogue. I’m sure you can write a funny scene without so much dialogue.

“Seoul was a city that quite different from Canada.”

→ Seoul was a city quite different from Canada. (Although you should name a city from Canada, since you can´t compare a city with a country, right?)

 “I wasn’t used to the polite people.”

→ I wasn’t used to polite people. (“The” was unnecessary)

“Everyone seemed to be so welcome.”

→ Everyone seemed to be so friendly. (Okay, I was confused in this one, because even though “welcome” can be used as an adjective, I don’t think that it applies on individuals)

“And with my personality that didn’t really like to socialize.”

→ And according to my personality, I don’t like to socialize. (“That” is wrong used in this phrase. The rest of the sentence has more sense like this)

“Girls started whispering and that Mr. Kang was looking at me with a confused face before saying.”

→ Girls started whispering and Mr. Kang was looking at me with a confused face before saying. (Again you used “that” in vain)

“I found it funny that three of us actually had a lot of differences.”

→ I found it funny that the three of us actually had a lot of differences. (You missed “the”)

“And little that I knew.”

→ And little did I know. (This is the right way to say what I supposed you wanted to say.)

“A girl was about to complain, but the teacher snapped her.”

→ A girl was about to complain, but the teacher snapped at her.

“At least I was partnered with someone I have known.”

→ At least I was partnered with someone I knew. (You were using past simple before this so you have to follow that verbal tense, since otherwise it wouldn’t make any sense.)

“Yeah, you have known the rest!”

→ Yeah, you know the rest!

“I said sarcastically because I had known that it would be another ridiculous idea!”

→ I said sarcastically because I knew that it would be another ridiculous idea!

• Flow (8/10)

The flow is good, which is not that hard since the events are really random, so I can’t analyze this category at its fullest, since there are no moments of and such. I do think that your chapters are somewhat short, it would be great if you can make them a little longer.

• General enjoyment (5.5/10)

I enjoyed of your story. It’s cute and rather funny. Your writing style makes it easy for me to read the story. Is easy to follow as well and I didn’t even notice when I finished reading, that’s good. However is not my kind of genre I think. I mean I liked it, but I didn’t completely love it, so yeah. Is not that interesting either. But don’t take it personal, since I’m sure a lot of people like your very lovely fanfic, so keep the good work and good luck my friend!

• Total (67/100)