Since that night, I avoided her.

Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she still loves Jungkook and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break.

I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was planning to study in USA and was to move out the next day.        

As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled, it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned around and walked away from me.

And so I moved out the next day as what I’ve planned to do. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her.

Each achievement I have, was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her...

It was a year after our graduation when I decided to come home because I miss my parents so badly, of course, including... Chorong.

As I got off the plane, I went home directly to change some nice clothes because I wanted to look good for her. I was excited to go to her house, excited to see her, to hug her and to confess my true feelings for her. But when I arrived at their house, there was a sharp thing that pinched my heart as her mother says that Chorong’s not home and that she went out with a guy.

And so I went to our place. The place where we used to enjoy around since we were kids. I sat down under the big oak tree while watching the view of the sunset.

“How could this things happen to me? I’m such a loser when it comes to love. Why do I always feel this kind of things? Sadness, depression, alone, pain,heartbroken, unloved, lonely and hurt!” I whisphered to myself as I sighed.

I grabbed my guitar to play it as I decided to just relax to let the pain go away in my heart and started to sing.

[Westlife - Obvious]

“Yeah, ooooh...
We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I'm reading into everything
But there's no sign you really like me, baby

You don't even notice when I’m  turning on my charm
Or wonder why I'm always where you are

I've made it obvious
So finally I sing it
(I've crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong)
I'm not so good with words
And since you never notice
The way that we belong
I'll say it in this love song

Yeah~ You are my very first thought in the morning
And my last at nightfall
You are the love that came without warning
I need you, I want you to know

And sing it until the day you're holding me
I've wanted you so long but on and on you get me wrong
I more then adore you but since you never seem to see

But you never seem to see
I'll say it in this love song~”

A tear then rolled down on my cheek as I wiped it away and then whisphered to myself, “You don’t love me, right? You only see me as your brother or a friend, I know. So If that’s what you wanted, I will set you free. You’re hanging out with someone else now. I hope you’re happy with that guy and... I hope you to hear my one last song for you...”

I played the guitar again and started to sing while watching the view of the sunset as tears continueud rolling down my cheek.

[I fell in love with my bestfriend - Jason Chen]

“Now I realize you are the only one
It's never too late to show it.
Grow old together,
Have feelings we had before
Back when we were so innocent

I pray for all your love
Girl, our love is so unreal
I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you, somebody pinch me
(I must be dreaming)
This is something like a movie
And I don't know how it ends, girl
But I fell in love with my best friend

Through all the dudes that came by
And all the nights that you'd cry.
Girl, I was there right by your side.
How could I tell you I loved you
When you were so happy
With some other guy?

Now I realize you were the only one
It's never too late to show it.
Grow old together,
Have feelings we had before
When we were so innocent.

I pray for all your love
Girl, our love is so unreal
I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you, somebody pinch me
(I must be dreaming)
This is something like a movie
And I don't know how it ends, girl
But I fell in love with my best friend

And I don't wanna ruin what we have
Love is so unpredictable

But it's the risk that I'm taking, hoping, praying
You'd fall in love with your bestfriend~”

After singing I whisphered to myself, “This could be the last day to see this place. I’m not going back and just continued to study in States to move on. To take this pain away inside me and---“

“You’re leaving?” I didn’t finish what I’ve said when I heard a familiar voice from my back. So I turned around and saw her. I stood up and opened my mouth but I couldn’t find my voice again for I was too stunned to see her beauty. After a year passed, she even grew more lovelier than ever.

“You’re leaving me again? Without even saying goodbye?” she once again asked as she sat down under the tree with me.

I don’t know what to say. I think this is the right time to confess my true feelings for her but I’m still afraid If ever she answers that she only sees me as her friend or a big brother.

We? we’re silent for a minute until she said, “Okay. If you really want to leave your bestfriend here, then I have to confess you something before it’s too late...”

I looked at her as she bowed down her head. I was afraid to hear what she wanted to confess me. I don’t want to hear her say that she don’t love me and that she love that guy she was hanging-out earlier.

She then started to confess, “I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you.”

‘I knew it. She only sees me as a friend.’ I thought as my heart slowly breaking into pieces.

But she’s not done yet. She continued confessing while I was listening to her...

“I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years... I love you Taehyung, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was? when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me...

When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel.

Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did, so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too.

So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well, you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love...

I know you might be thinking of Jungkook; I said to him that I love you and asked him for help on how to make you fall in love with me too. We made a DEAL to be a fake couple. We just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too.

But months passed, Jungkook confess his true feelings to me. He said that as we pretended as a real couple, he accidentally fell in love with me. So I decided to stop the deal that we made.

I came to you that night, crying on your shoulder.                                                                                             Saying, that Jungkook and I broke up because we had a big fight. Well, that was just a lie. I just did that to know? how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue...

When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did...

When suddenly Jungkook came, he said that we woudln’t need to pretend to be a fake couple anymore and that he pleaded me to give him a second chance, that he wants me to be  his REAL girlfriend and not a FAKE girlfriend. I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really still love...

What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me.                              I just concluded that you saw us together.                                                                                                            

The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me...

In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you? how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that you only see me as your friend or a little sister to you. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late...

If you really want to leave me here and that to continue your study there in States, please think of me sometimes... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life...”

I felt my tears falling down my cheeks. I don’t know what to say. It was like a dream I never thought would happen. I was so happy that I wanted to jump around so badly because of the happiness I felt inside. But so, I tried to calm down and looked at her while she still bowed down her head. I narrowed and looked deeply in her eyes. I can see sadness in them.

I felt my face burned and said, “Actually... I love you too.”

Her head immediately lifted up to looked at me and gave me that shocked face of hers, “What- how- when- really?”

I laughed at her cuteness and then explained to her everything that I loved her since from the start.

As I was explaining to her the whole thing, her eyes began watery and suddenly she punched me on my chest, "Yah! You pabo! Why didn't you say at the first place that you love me since from the start? Ugh, A girl confessed her feelings first to a boy?? This is so embarassing.. Ugh, Idiot.." she covered her face with her hands in embarassment

I laughed and said, "I'm just afraid to get hurt, that's the reason. Anyways, there's nothing to worry about. Since this day, we are now officially together, right? So You're mine now and I'm all yours... I love you so much, baby face.."

She sweetly smiled up at me and hugged me tightly while we both watching the beautiful view of the sunset, "I love you more..."