PRESENT

This is a picture of Krystal that I’ve taken on the last day of our outing in the meadow.

Five years have gone by and yet my feeling towards her is just still fresh as ever. I sometimes still think about that last night in Bordeaux when we were kissing on the bed, when her eyelashes fluttered against my cheek, when we finally said goodbye in silence because we just fell asleep in each other’s arms at the same time. I still remember the next morning when I overheard my brother and she talked about love and how he was afraid that I was going to love Krystal forever.

But, maybe Taemin is right.

An American author, F. Scott Fitzgerald, once said that “there are many kinds of love, but never the same love twice”. I believe that we’re all going to meet many people who can change the beats of our hearts during our life here on earth, but at the end of the day, you will realize that they all are just different. You will realize that there is someone that you always hold dear inside your heart, even though you’ve finally found another person with whom you can pour your soul into. And it’s solely because your feelings for them just never change.

For me, Krystal already got herself a place. And it is never meant to change.

Now, I want you to remember the face of the woman named Krystal Jung above. Examine her eyes, her small yet sharp eyes that sometimes caught you off-guard when you try to stare at her. Then her face, an unforgettable distinct expression that makes you wonder ‘I’ve seen this woman before, but where?’ And that light brown hair, the one that she never changes even though people keep saying that she would look good in strawberry colored hair.

I want you to remember her. For someday, when you accidentally pass by her on the street or see her sitting alone in a coffee shop with a Sylvia Plath book on her table, or—even better—when you get a chance to work with her, please spend some minutes in your busy day to say hello to her. And when she asks you about who you are, tell her,

that you’re just a shooting star who happens to cross her life as a messenger. Remind her about that summer day in the meadow, where she dances under the sun, laughs at the idea of reincarnating as a man, and drunk in glasses of wine made in Bordeaux. Tell her about the story of two brothers who love drinking whiskey, but hate even a shot of tequila, one who is now starting a family and one who is still trying for his luck in love. Then when she seems to be reminded of us, say to her that you already have to leave and bid her a nice farewell.

She is going to run after you for sure and ask about how you know this story that I tell you. Answer by yourself in this question; whether you know this from the wind that sings to you or even the grass that whispers to you. But please, don’t ever mention the name of Kai and Taemin, the brothers who were once by her side.

And when she smiles and says that she understands, leave her be and don’t look back. Because she’s not going to stay with you as she never does with anyone else but us.

Then tell me. Write to me or find me somewhere in a little coffee shop in Brooklyn, the one that is owned by an old Hispanic woman and is always full of vanilla smell. Or if you have the chance to visit my brother in Bordeaux, visit by an old vineyard at the farthest side of the town, and tell him this news.

Because we’ll be waiting. I’ll be waiting.

For another shooting star to come.