I groggily woke up from my slumber that felt more like a neverending nightmare.
“I wish it was a nightmare. At least I can run away from my dreams.” I mumbled to myself.
I secretly hoped I would wake up to find out everything was a dream. But it wasn’t.
As I was thinking about ideas to escape my reality my phone started to vibrate violently.
“Please don’t let it be Jongin, please don’t let it be Jongin.” I chanted.
“Ga In? Well, that’s surprising..”
“Hello?”
“Yah! You bad girl! Why haven’t you called me lately?!”
“Yah~ don’t be so rude..”
“Rude? Me? I haven’t heard from you since graduation. Don’t you miss me at all?”
I shook my head and smiled, this girl.
“I’m sorry okay.. I’ve been really busy lately. I do..kind off.. miss you.. I guess..” I almost puked on my own words.
“You’re still not good with sweet stuff are you?”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. So.. What are you up to?”
Trying to escape from Kai, who might have kissed me last night~
“Nothing interesting, bit designing, side jobs here and there, helping my mom etc.” I partly lied.
“Still no jobs related to fashion?”
“Unfortunately not. And you?”
“Nope. Apart from designing my little brothers prom suit which was absolutely dashing if I may say so. But that ended up covered in god knows what at the end of the night.”
“Gross.”
“Pretty much. But I’ve been working at my parent’s restaurant. You should come over somewhere this week. They’ve been asking about you.”
“I will Ga In.”

“Yoona~!”

“Oh .”
“What? Who’s that?”
“O-oh, n-nothing. It’s my boss, I gotta go Ga In. I’ll drop by tomorrow okay?”
“Sure thing. See you Yoona!”
“See ya, bye.”

I hung up as quick as possible and sighed when it did. That little…
I stormed towards the door and opened it facing a smirking Kai.
“Yah! Are you insane!? I had a friend on the phone, what if she found out?!”
“So what if she did?”
“Hey, I’m not ‘the idol’ here. I don’t care what they think of me. It’s you who I’m concerned abou~.. N-no wait, let me rephrase that. If they find out that “ I “ am living with “YOU”, not only you will make headlines, but so will I! And I wasn’t planning on going for the ‘national EXO ’ title thank you very much!”
Kai was leaning against the doorframe looking pretty unaffected by my rant and just smirked. I scoffed at his face. Like that’s the only thing he could do lately.
“Are you done?”
“Shut up. I’m angry with you.”
“Why?” he pouted.
“Because you are playing with fire and you don’t see it!”
“But I like fire. And I’m not just playing with it.” he said metaphorically.
“You’re not?” I asked sceptically, folding my arms.
He shook his head.
“Well, maybe a little. I like to poke it with a stick sometimes because it flames up when I do.” he chuckled and I raised my eyebrow.
“But other than that I can assure you that I’m treating it with utmost caution. I like playing with y-it, but I don’t want to cross the line and lose control. Because if I lose control, it vanish and leave me in the cold.” he explained and nearly whispered the last part while carrying a shy smile.
This creature is unbelievable. He has such a good way with words. Does every idol possess this talent?
“I’m also here to apologise about yesterday, I-I got swept away in the moment. Please don’t avoid me?” he asked me with puppy eyes.
I stared at him some more, mesmerized by this unknown creature in front of me. I came to think about it that I’ve never ever looked at someone the way I looked at him right now. I really started to appreciate every feature of him, inside and out. I.. admired him.
“You really are something else Kim Jongin.” I said and passed him so I could use the toilet.
“Is that a good or a bad thing?!” he shouted after me and I started laughing.
Leave him thinking, Yoona. Leave him thinking.

 

It was almost 6pm and I haven’t even started on dinner yet.
You see, every time I tried making an attempt he was sure to stop me. I don’t even know why because as far as I know, this guy loves food.
We were currently sitting on the floor, looking at old pictures of him so I didn’t really mind the wait to be honest.
“A sausage costume? Seriously?” I rose an eyebrow and tried my best not to burst out in laughter.
“You made promise Yoona, you said you wouldn’t laugh.”
“I’m not laughing am I?!” I said while lauging.
He pushed my shoulder and I caught myself with my arms.
“Okay, okay. But why a sausage?”
He was furrowing his brows as if he was hessistant to tell me.
“Because my auntsayisihadcutebuns.” he mumbled so I couldn’t hear his confession.
“What?” I half-laughed.
He groaned and sighed.
“Okay I’ll say it again, but I’ll just tell you the whole story since it’s going to be embarassing anyway.”
He looked at me again with a face that said ‘please don’t laugh’ but he didn’t ask me since he probably figured it was useless.
“I will try to minimize my laughing.” I consoled him playfully.
“You won’t, but I appreciate the gesture.”
At that I laughed.
“It was around Halloween and most people don’t really do that here but my family has a knack for being weird so of course they joined in on this Holiday. One time when I was about six, my mother was having trouble with the costumes. Yes, the whole family comes together and they all wear costumes-”
“Seriously?!” I asked smiling.
“Please don’t spill this to anyone?” he pleaded.
“No-no, ofcourse not. It’s just really cool! I love those kind of things.” I smiled.
He smiled back at me and shook his head.
“I thought you hated parties?”
“Yes, I do.” I answered honestly.. What? I do hate parties. Only if they meet certain requirements I let myself enjoy it.
He looked confused so I enlighted my answer.
“But these kinds of parties I like. You get to dress up, you’re with family, there’s food, drinks, just to name a few things.”
“I see, you will fit right in with mine then.” he laughed and leaned his back against the couch, his shoulder now touching mine. Since when were we sitting this close?
“But as I was saying, we had to have costumes and my mom couldn’t decide on our ‘topic’. My aunt was already with us and they were chatting in the kitchen, you know, like all women their age do, when I came barging in completely .”
At this point I was already laughing.
“I was six!” he defended himself.
“So they weren’t really surprised but they were laughing about the whole scene of course when my aunt suddenly said I had ‘cute little buns’.” he groaned making quotation marks.
At this I cried.
“Cute little buns! Hahahaha.”
“Yah~ Yoona~” he complained but laughed nonetheless. I guess my laughter had him laughing aswell.
“But when my mom heard the word buns she thought of bread, and then she came up with hot dogs and that led to my horrific Halloween outfit. The end.” he hurried, probably trying to move on from this topic.
I was just too busy not to fracture my ribs from laughing. It was just too funny. I mean, this ‘cool’ guy dressed up as a hot dog because his aunt said he had a cute little . If only his fans knew.
“I swear to god Yoona I’m going to poke you if you don’t stop.” he threatened with a crooked smile  while holding his finger near my side.
“N-no, p-please.” I laughed, but it was already too late to save myself.
He poked my ribs and I yelped as an automatic reaction but he didn’t stop. Soon I wasn’t the only one laughing anymore as I tried to hold on to his wrists to keep him from poking me.
“You think you can stop me?” he smirked.
“As far as I know you are not able to poke me right now, so yes.” I smirked back, cocking one eyebrow.
I realised too late that I was challenging him right then and there, and he accepted it with pleasure.
“True. But do you think you can hold on to my wrists?”
The look in his eyes made me waver. I wasn’t so sure anymore. What was he going to pull on me? The mood had changed a little, I felt it. Even though I was holding him he was sneakily taking over control. I tightened my grip to let him know I wasn’t backing down either and finished it with a cocky remark.
“Those are big words for someone with ‘cute little buns’.” I said in a childish tone while making a pouty face, trying my hardest not to laugh at my own joke.
His face was priceless though.
“Woaahh, this girl!” he laughed.
“Okay, that’s it! I was going to spare you, but now you’re going down!”
He twisted his wrists so he was holding mine and wrapped both of them in one hand so his other hand was free to tickle me. Goddammit I’m screwed!
“N-no! H-have mercy! Ahahaha!” I screamed and laughed. I didn’t even want to laugh because I didn’t find my current situation that funny!
“Oh, hell no. You’re going to pay for laughing at my !”
I felt his hand holding my side but before he could squeeze it I told him to stop.
“S-stop, no seriously, Jongin, stop.”
His smile faltered and he came to an halt wearing a worried expression.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No.. it’s just.. you said it wrong.”
“Said it wrong? What do you mean?”
“You said.. my . While it’s clearly: my ‘cute little buns’.” I stated.
I could literally see the worry drain from his face and disbelief making it’s way as a replacment.
“You..”
I bit my lip to unsuccessfully hide my grin and anticipated what would come next. It wasn’t looking good but it was totally worth it.
“That’s it.” he just said. He was fed up with my games, but not in a bad way though.
He somehow pinned me down on the floor and sat on me with my hands trapped between each of his legs behind his knees. I couldn’t move. I was a dead girl. He stretched his fingers and smirked.
“Any last words?”
He should know me by now.
“Would you get those cute little buns off of me.”
His mouth agaped.
“..please?” I chuckeled before he dove down to tickle both of my sides.
“N-nah! S-stop! Hahahaha please! J-jongin!..Kai!...Bunny! HAHAHA No, spare me!”
His hands made his way to my neck and tickeled me there. He was totally enjoying this, I could tell. Pff that stupid Idol.
“Oh? Ticklish here as well?”
“N-no! Have mercy! I’ll do anything!” I pleaded. I was seriously getting short on breath by all this torture.
He stopped. The only thing we heared for a few seconds was my breathing before he spoke.
“Anything?”
“Yes..anything..” I exhaled. Just please stopppp.
All of his muscles relaxed and I was able to free my hands. I looked up and he just smiled at me.
“Would you consider..” he paused and looked away. I could see he was struggling with his words. I didn’t like seeing him that way, he’s usually more confident.
“..me?”
Consider..me? As in what? Dating? Is he serious?
I was just staring at him with my eyebrows furrowed in confusion and that probably made him even more anxious. Oh shoot I should say something.
“I..I don’t know, Jongin.” There, the truth. I really didn’t know. I admit, yes. Even though I really don’t want it and I sometimes can’t stand his cocky attitude I still started to like him. I mean, look at this. He was all shy and insecure while he could own half of the population with that face if he wanted to. Does he really like me that much?
He huffed a laugh.
“I’m sorry, I kind of ruined the atmosphere didn’t I? Forget what I said, let’s order some food.” he said clapping his hands while he stood up and walked towards his phone.
I just stared at him.
Yes, I was screwed alright.

An hour later we were feasting on our meal when Jongin got a text. I paid it no mind, well I was basically paying no mind to his whole existence since he dropped that question on me. How could he leave me with my thoughts?
I could ask him but why should I be the one starting about it since he was the one that made this mess.
“It’s Chen.” he said.
I lifted my head to look at him, waiting for elaboration but it never came.
“..So-?” I asked a bit y. I was honestly getting a bit irritated with his habit of leaving me hanging all the time.
He coughed. “Ah, ehm, he asked if we wanted to watch a movie.”
“We?”
“Yes he asked you too.”
“Why?” I cocked an eyebrow. I was being so sceptical at the moment.
“Because they like you?”
Oh yes, that was a possibility ofcourse.
“Oh. Well. Do you want to go?”
“I don’t know, do you?” he asked me back. We were both shrugging at the idea since we didn’t really want to leave the house but we did want to escape this tension he created. Yes, he created this. Not me.
“It would be fun I guess.”
“Okay I’ll tell him we’re coming.”
 

I was so glad we arrived at Chen’s place. Me and Jongin haven’t spoken a word to each other since that text. I was getting pretty grumpy by this whole ‘ignoring’ phase. I mean what the hell is wrong with him? If there is something you want to say just be a bloody man and say it!
“Yoona-ssi!!” Chen greeted me and I smiled back. Seriously I have seen this guy maybe twice but he acts like I’m his most favourite person in the universe.
“Chen, so nice to se-ah.” I tried to greet him back but he dived right onto me pulling me into this big hug. I awkwardly chuckeled and pet his back.
“I’m so glad you decided to come! We really missed you.”
“A-ah, yes. I missed you too.”
“Chen~” Jongin sounded from behind me. Judging on his tone of voice he was warning him.
Chen scoffed and pulled away from the hug but held his arm around my shoulder.
“What? Can’t I hug your girl, Kai?” he smirked. But more than pissing of Jongin, I was the one that didn’t like the comment.
I wriggled myself from his hold and scoffed.
“I’m not ‘his’ girl.” I said and let myself further into his house. I heard Chen laugh and say something like ‘what did you do?’ to Jongin before I ran into the rest of the bunch.
“Finally, someone with a brain!” I heard Baekhyun say when I walked into the livingroom and that immediately brightened my mood.
“Takes one to know one, right Baek?” I shot back and high fived him.
“Yah~ I’ve got a brain.” Chanyeol whined.
“Of course you do, Channie.” Baekhyun sweetly smiled at him, making the others laugh.
“Ouch~” Minseok chuckeled.
“He doesn’t love me for my brain anyway.” Chanyeol casually mumbled as he stuffed his face with popcorn.
“W-what!?” the other screeched.
The movie hasn’t even started and I was already laughing to the point where my stomach hurt.
“Did we miss something?” Chen smiled with a slightly sad looking Jongin behind him. What was wrong with him? Is he sad because of me?
“Apparently Chanbaek is real.” Suho grinned.
“Is not!” Baekhyun shouted, his head being as red as a tomato by now.
I sat down next to him, he is still kind of my partner in crime.
“I believe you, Baek.” I said as I put my hand on his thigh.
“Thank you, Yoon. Can I kiss you to prove my innocence?” he smiled.
“I will kill you if you do that, Baek.” I smiled back at him and everyone laughed.

We were halfway through the movie and everyone was layed back or half asleep. I was resting my head on Baekhyun’s shoulder as Kyungsoo was sitting on the floor resting against my legs. For obvious reasons Chanyeol wasn’t allowed near us.
I could hear Sehun and Jongin whispering from time to time which kind of sparked my curiosity. But I didn’t let him see that. After what he did I would make him feel my annoyance.
At some point Baekhyun turned towards me, smiling.
“What’s up with you and that douchebag over there?” he whispered. I smiled by his choice of name.
“He is living up to his name, that’s what.” I grumbled.
He chuckeled. “He likes you, you know.”
I looked at him with my cheeks slightly heated.
“No he doesn’t.”
“He does, he even confessed it ..He’ll kill me if he knew I told you this.”
“If he really does he should be clear about it. Not moping around like some bipolar teenager.” I scoffed hearing a ‘sshhh’ coming from kyungsoo.
I shot a glare at him but he wasn’t looking so I quickly pulled away my legs making him fall backwards.
He then shot a glare at me but I gave him a ‘try me’ look and he mumbled something under his breath.
I looked up and I saw Jongin watching me. I was still mad at him, but seeing him hurt wasn’t what I wanted either. Damn you Kim Jongin.
I broke our stare and moved to get up. Baekhyun gave me a questioned look, I mouthed ‘toilet’ and he released me from his embrace. I didn’t even know he was holding me.
I sat on the toilet and started to think. I liked thinking on the toilet. It always had a cool air that somehow cleared my mind.
How should I fix this with Jongin? Should I fix this with Jongin? What exactly is ‘this’? Should I just quit? It’s becoming more and more complicated so maybe it’s better if I did.
But it’s not like I don’t like him.. I like him, I like him a lot actually. We became closer over the last few weeks and I seriously consider him as a good friend. Although I know being just friends with him was impossible. We always had this ‘moment’ between us where neither of us said anything but we knew it was different than ‘just friends’.
I sighed. Oh , I better get off the toilet before they start commenting about it.
I flushed and opened the door where I nearly got a heart attack because Jongin was standing right behind it. He quickly put his hand over my mouth to keep me from screaming and gently pulled me further into the hallway. What was he doing? His eyes never left mine and as I was still a bit shocked I was also a bit confused. He smiled softly and pulled his hand away from my mouth to put a finger to his. God, he looked so good in this dimmed light.
I could feel my insides churning as if he was dragging me to somewhere where we could be in private. I unconsciously smiled back at him, ignoring all the bells that were going off inside my head.
He likes you, you know.
My head was feeding itself on Baekhyuns words and I let my feeling take total control of this situation.
He pulled me around a small corner so nobody could see us as he placed me against the wall. His hand released mine just to place it on my cheek.
We stared into eachothers eyes for a while. He saw how I wasn’t rejecting him and I could see him relax a little.
He let out a breath he probably didn’t even knew he was holding as he rested his forehead on my shoulder and his arms gently slid around my waste.
I shivered at his touch.
“I’m sorry if I confused you.” he whispered.
He was probably waiting for a reaction but I couldn’t react.
“I’m sorry for making your life hard.” he whispered again.
Hard? What was he talking about?
“I’m sorry ..for being an idol.”

Why did he say that?
“Why?” was the only word I could produce.
For the person with a brain, I just couldn’t understand why he was saying all this.
He lifted his head and I could see the slight sparkle in his eyes. Is he- crying?
“Because I refused to let you go, even though you already knew what could happen.”

I was so baffled by his outburst that I didn’t even notice my own hand softly his right cheek.
“Jongin. I’m sorry for hurting you.” with those eyes he was giving me, my guilt was eating me alive by now.
“The question I asked you earlier.. I meant it though. I.. I like you, a lot.”
“Ask me properly Jongin.”
That demand caught him off guard, I could tell. It was a silent confirmation of my feelings towards him and it made him smile like an idiot.
“Okay.” he whispered, resting his forehead against mine.
I could feel the blood pumping through the vains in my head and my heart beat excellerate. This was it.
“Nam Yoona-” he paused to look at me. Our breath was touching, our eyes half closed.
“Will you go out with me?”
He asked me! He really asked me! Kim Jongin asked me to be his girlfriend! Ohmyg- aghem..
I giggled.
...I giggled. Well that gave me away for sure. But I didn’t mind this time. He was serious about me. I could go on and on on why I shouldn’t date him, but all of the reasons are work-related. My feelings for him were not like that. I didn’t even like “Kai”. But I did fall in love with Kim Jongin. The person who was worried about me while having a busy life on his own. The person who saved me when I passed out at a party, even cleaning my dress so I could eventually graduate. Not to mention the fact of just mentioning his existence. The person who went through hardships and just needed someone to talk to. The person who could cheer up even a little bit by eating my homemade cookies.
The person who developed feelings for me even though I’m the worst in this world.
“You better not dissapoint me Kim Jongin.” I smiled. He chuckeled softly because of my answer. He really should know by now.
He once against locked his gaze with mine and I saw how his eyes were slowly closing as he leaned in towards me.
For once, I did the same. I softly called out his name before I could feel his lips press against my own. My hands instantly flying towards his shoulders.
I needed something to hold onto, I felt like all my emotions were running free and I couldn’t control it. But it didn’t feel all that bad. I let him take control of it and sort it out, and damn he controlled it well. I felt a tingle in my stomach when I his tongue touch my lips. Somewhere in my mind I heard a faint sound telling me to stop but I pushed it aside. I knew that once I granted him this access I would lose total control. But right now, I was willing to take that risk.

“Chanyeol, follow me and you’ll die!”
Baekhyun!
Wait, why am I scared of being caught.
“Yah! I need to use the toilet too you know!” the loud mouthed giant followed.
“At the same time as me?”
“..Well~ I wouldn’t mind if-umpf!”
“ you, Chanyeol. Yah! Lovebirds! Stop hiding already, what are you, fourteen? Come and watch the movie, you can make out when you get home.”
Ofcourse he knew.
“At least I get to make out.” I replied cheekily.
“Hah. That comment really suits the age I just gave you, Yoona.” he backfired.
Oh, this is on.
“You wanna piece of me, Byun?” I threatened. He doesn’t look like he works out a lot so physically I could take him if I want to.
“Woah there, yeobo. I still need him to be able to perform.” Jongin chuckled nervously.
I shot a glare back at him before he could touch me and he immediately backed off.
“Don’t yeobo me, yeobo. You’re not completely off the hook yet.”
I huffed and strolled down the hallway towards the living room. But not before having another staring contest with Mr. Byun.
“This is not over yet, Byun.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Nam.”
I honestly believe I felt Chanyeol and Jongin shiver in fear.