“Let me make you something.”

And this is where it ended up. Just as I was afraid of.
It’s not that I don’t like the affection that Jongin is giving me. It just makes me, uncomfortable.
He is my boss, and I would like to keep our relationship strictly business.
Why? Well.. Idols are annoying. Or more like the life that comes with it.
If someone were to find out I was staying at his house I would be hunted down like a wicked witch in Salem. No thank you, I won’t have any of that.
“I’m okay, thanks.” was my witty reply, hoping he would let it rest. But I should’ve known better.
“Don’t be such a spoiled sports. I’m just making scrambled egg, anyone has room for scrambled eggs.” he smiled, totally ignoring my answer.
That’s when it hit me.
“Wait- You can cook?!”
He looked at me, a bit confused by my tone but with a comical smile.
“Ofcourse I can cook. Is that so weird to you?” he asked with a bit of a laugh.
“Uh- Well- I..” I stuttered. I stuttered!
“Ididn’tthinkyoucouldactuallycook.” I muttered under my breath.
To be honest, I was a bit ashamed of my outburst. Apparently he could cook, and I just made it look like he was some sort of ‘no basic life instructions’ kind of idol that didn’t even know how to wipe his own-
“I get that a lot.” he suddenly replied, showing me a smile that told me he didn’t take my offense at heart.
“..Well, good for you, you know, that you can cook and stuff.” I mumbled some kind praise and sat down on the high chair waiting for my meal to be served while trying my best to avoid any eye contact with the brown haired male. And because of that I didn’t see the obvious lifted eyebrow and devious smirk lingering on his face.
“So-so.. was that a praise I heard from the almighty Nam Yoo Na? I’m honoured.”
..and before I could think-
“Ha-ha. Screw you Kim Jongin.”

Oh crap.
Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap

I think he knew I was internally panicking because that look on his face spelled mischief.
“I..-”
“Screw me?” he questioned and at this point I honestly don’t know what he was thinking. The only thing I hoped for was not getting fired, or sued, or both!
What I absolutely didn’t see coming was the fact that he was now just mere inches away from my face.
I yelped, but kept staring into his eyes with utter horror.
His eyes lowered towards my lips, his breath now touching my skin.
“I didn’t think you wanted any kind of intimacy with me Yoona-ssi.” he retorically asked. Or I made it retorical since I was frozen solid in my chair, unable to utter any kind of word at this moment.
“J-Jongin-ssi..” I managed to whisper after a couple of seconds. I don’t know what exactly came over me. My body was unable to react to any of my wishes since my wish was to get the hell out of here asap. But instead I kept still, stuck staring back into his eyes, my gaze sometimes wondering towards his lips.
“Yes?” he whispered, his lips now hoovering dangerously close over my own.
I was sweating, and I honestly don’t know if it was of fear or excitement.
In my 22 years of age have I never ever felt this way before. My mind was going crazy, running over the consequences of what could come if he actually did kiss me. But strangely enough I was not moving an inch. As if my mind or body actually wanted this to happen. And thats where I started to panick.
I shouldn’t think like this. I don’t like him!
Do I?
“Yoona-ssi?” he called me since I kept silent, still only a mere inch apart from my lips. Subconsiencely I leaned forward a bit.
I was slowly falling into some kind of trance, I could feel it. Snap out of it Yoona! Snap the hell out of it! Run!
“Y-yes?” I stammerd. Gawd, what the hell am I doing?!
He looked me in the eyes again, both of our eyelids were semi-closed by now.
It was happening, I could feel it. We are going to kiss, and I’m not backing out for once.
“You..” he whispered.
“I..?” I repeated.
He grabbed my chin between his thumb and index finger and lifted my head so I was looking him in the eyes. Apparently I was staring at his lips again.
Then he smiled.
“-Should probably eat your food before it gets cold.”
What..
I stared in front of me dumbfounded by my own actions while the smiling idol made his way back to his own seat to start on his dish.

Then I snapped out of my trance..

“What the hell Kai!” I yelled, half of me was still in shock, the other half just plain angry by whatever he just pulled on me.
My outburst almost made him choke on his food as he was trying not to die of laughter.
“Yah!~”
“I-I’m sorry.” he laughed. “I-It’s just…” and he burst out in a laughing fit again.
Seriously this guy.
But he smiled. He looked like he hasn’t laughed like that in a while, so maybe I should go easy on him.
Not that he’s getting off the hook thát easily ofcourse.
I sighed and smiled a bit myself. Goofball.
“Y-you smiled! I’m off the hook!” he cheered.
“Like hell you’re off the hook Kim Jongin! I’m just tired right now.” I deadpanned him.
“I’m so scared~”
“You should be.”
“I am.” he said with the most unstraight face ever.
We kept staring at eachother, well more like Jongin was puffing his cheeks trying not to laugh so I kept staring at him seeing how long he would be able to keep this up.
At some point even I was trying to keep in my laughter, I swear to god his face was turning red as he was biting his tongue and by now tears were slowly forming in my eyes.
A sudden expression in his face was what made us both lose it and resulted in both of us almost falling off the high chairs because of our laughter.
“Y-your face! Ahaha oh my god!” I screamed. My stomach almost hurting.
He was slowly coming down from his outburst, but when our eyes met, we simply started over again.

Eventually we ended up in the livingroom where Kai told me everthing that happened on their promotiontour in China.
“-So eventually we found him hiding in some gross public bathroomstall that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in ages and if you thought it couldn’t get any worse there was a couple next to him going at it like freaking rabbits! I swear you Yoona he was hyperventilating as soon as we reached the van.” he laughed.
“Aww, that’s not funny.”
“You haven’t seen his expression!” “Soo’s eyes are normally quite.. intruiging right? Well, I actually thought he wouldn’t recover after this one.” he said, still laughing.
I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as I imagined his face after all of this, poor Kyungsoo.
“I don’t understand these girls though. If they didn’t go ballistic he wouldn have to go through this. They have a serious lack of empathy.”
“Yeahh, it’s weird. I seriously don’t know what goes through their minds.. I mean, what is só great about us? We dance, we sing, we look decent I guess.. Ofcourse I love EXO, and I’m really proud of what we do, but.. I don’t know.. There are like so many great artists out there you know. What’s so special about us?” he questioned, staring at nothing in particular.
“I know right? I mean, EXO is só overrated.” I said, quickly stealing a playfull glance to see his reaction which didn’t dissapoint me.
“Yaahh!” he whined and pushed me over so I landed on my side on the couch laughing once again.
After I was done laughing I relaxed and just smiled at him, my eyes feeling kind of heavy since it was already light outside by now. He lowered his hand and slowly the strands of hair out of my face but I paid it no mind, I was just way too tired.
“Jongin-ssi?” I mumbled, my eyes now closed. He hummed in response.
“Areyoureallyokay?” I asked half asleep but somewhat understandable. I couldn’t help but get that whole Tao-thing out of my head. I wanted to make sure he was okay even if I know I shouldn’t ask. My mind was running over with a thousand questions by now but my body was just so tired.
He stopped his mid-way for a second or two and I could feel the atmosphere turning more serious even with my eyes closed. Then he continued his movements again.
“Don’t worry about it.” he whispered. And this made me annoyed enough to gather the energy and sit up again.
“Yah, what do you mean by that.” I whined, my eyes still half closed and my hair probably a mess. I saw him smile through my drowsy eyelids.
Suddenly his hand reached my hair again, but this time his slid his hand down the side of my face, holding my cheek in the end. I could feel myself waking up bit by bit as my heartrate definately increased.
“It means that I don’t want your pretty face to worry over my problems.”
“I-” I couldn’t comprehend what was going on right now. His words sent tingels to my stomach but he probably wasnt even aware of the fact that he was doing that.
“Plus, there’s nothing we can do about it anyway so might as well accept it and move on.” he gave me an apologetic smile like he was sorry he wasn’t able to fix the mess they were in right now and it made me feel really sad.
“I’m sorry Jongin, I really am.” I whispered, tears slowly accumulating in my eyes. I could see by now that his eyes were a bit teary as well. My hand moved to rest it on his. I softly grabbed it and removed it from my face to rest it in mine on my lap, my thumb now the back.
I saw his expression change a bit more serious, but I couldn’t make out why that was exactly. He then moved in closer towards me and all my actions froze. He hoovered over my lips once again and looked me in the eyes one last time before closing the little gap that was left between us.
I felt soft, warm lips against my own, giving it the amount of pressure that was needed at that moment. He was kissing me.
I could feel his thankfulness and loneliness through that kiss. And it felt so right.
I thought he would back off after a moment because it felt like an impuls, but he didn’t. When he realised I wasn’t backing away either (I couldn’t do anything really) he started to move his lips, waiting for me to respond. And that’s where I lost all sense of morality.
Before I knew it I threw my arms over his shoulder and gave into the kiss, moving my own lips against his. He let his hands rest soflty against my waist, holding me like I was some kind of porceline doll and I thought I would melt any second now.
He my lower lip and soon after I parted them entered my mouth to carress my tongue with his own. It was all so sweet, so gentle. It wasn’t rushed or passionate, just lovely. Just the affection that apparently we both needed at that moment. Feeling his tongue dancing softly with my own I felt like I was never going to stop this. Kai was such a good kisser…

And that’s when my horrible, horrible senses returned.

Kai.. Kai.. Exo’s Kai.. Kim Jonging..
I was kissing EXO’s Kai right now, nononono what is wrong with me!?

I halted my actions and Jongin backed away to see what was going on.
“What’s wrong Yoona?” he asked concerned. My shocked gaze landed on his and I could see he was seriously worried.
“E-eh.. I.. I got to go to bed! Yes. Bed! You too. Sleep!” I stuttered, clumsily trying to escape from the couch bumping my shin against the table.
“Y-Yoona you-”
“I’ll see you tomorrow bye!”

And as fast as I could I rushed towards my room slamming the door shut behind me as I panted against it.
“Oh my god.” I breathed. “ Yoona you stupid stupid cow. What the hell have you done!” I whispered to myself as I hit myself on the head a few times before I walked towards my bed falling face flat on it.
“How am I ever going to face him tomorrow?” I whined before I closed my eyes and fell asleep on the spot.
My body was totally worn out. Ugh, I just wished that this would all be normal again in the morning.
What I didn’t expect was that my following dream, would be far from ‘normal’.