Fallen 4

Chae’s POV

I’m sitting here on a bench under an old tree near our university library. It’s quiet here. I can feel the cool blow of the wind against my face. I slumped on the backrest of the bench and stretched my arms. I closed my eyes and inhaled the air that smells of a freshly cut grass after a rain. Ahhh! Smells vacation! I opened my eyes as I hear laughter approaching. Other students are starting to come. Today is our clearance day and we have to run after our professors for their signature. It would be 3~4 week vacation before the next semester starts. Time flew so fast, another year and a half and I’ll be graduating and . . .

My thoughts were interrupted when suddenly someone hugged my neck and shoulders from behind. That familiar scent invades my nostrils and lungs. My heart pounded like a beast. Calm down Chae. She might hear! But her lips close to my neck and her warm breath while suppressing a giggle doesn’t really help. My heart pounded more.

“Yah! Why so cold?!”, the beautiful intruder said.

I sighed on relief, she doesn’t hear the pounding in my chest. My lips form a smile. My lips. My lips that wants to kiss her lips. What?! What’s with your brain nowadays Chae? My brain or my heart?

“Hey! You okay? You’re spacing out! Again!” she unhugged me and crossed her arms while pouting. Hayyz, so cute.

I smiled to her, “Sorry, I’m just surprised. You are early.” I motioned to her to sit beside me.

“Yeah, I should be early. You know, I have a lot to do before I can get a clearance, right?”

“Hmm, don’t worry, I’ll accompany you.” I said assuringly.

“Eh?”, she frowned. Again, so cute, whatever she does, she’s so cute.

“I’ll accompany you, okay?”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”

She’s about to protest more but I put my hands over . I wish I could just kiss her to shut her up. Me and my thoughts again.

She glared at me and about to bite my hands but I pulled it right away, and then I laughed hard.

She pinched me at my shoulders and she stood up and walks away. My over sensitive best friend.

Yes. My BEST FRIEND. She is Sandara.

It started when her family moved here in Seoul.

I woke up early in the morning to do the task my mom ask me to do. I am in the garden watering our flowery plants. These are all my mom’s plants. She loves taking care of plants and so I am. I am helping her to fix the landscape of our garden. That moment while randomly humming a song while watering the plants, my heart suddenly stopped beating. Is it true? I’m seeing an angel from our neighbourhood.

“Chae! Chae!”

My mom, why does she have to shout? I’m still at my dumbfounded mode when mom pulls the hose of water from me.

“Chae! Cactus doesn’t need too much water. You know that right?”

And then I blinked my eyes. The angel was looking at me while cutely giggling.

My mom elbowed me and whispers, “What’s happening to you kid?”

And then she walks toward the angel when I realize I’ve been acting stupid. Mom is now talking with her and me? Still stupidly standing in my place. I saw her look at me and then mom called me.

“Chaerin! Come here.”

I walk towards them, feeling shy. I can see her giggling. Aw, she’s so cute.

“Chae, this is Dara, Mrs Park’s daughter.  Dara this is Chaerin my daughter.”

“Hi! Chae!”, her soft voice, it’s a music to my ear.

“Hello! Nice to meet you.”

And there, that’s how we started our friendship.

Gradually, we became comfortable with each other. So comfortable that on our last year on junior high school, I start to feel something different towards her.

I kept on denying to myself that I am in love with my best friend. Why? Because maybe I am afraid that she will not accept me and that love will ruin our friendship. I can’t handle that. I can’t lose her and so I kept on denying. I kept on lying to myself.

After our final examinations, Dara and I went out to relax. It is what we always do after the week of our exam. We are on a park enjoying the day when I decided to ask her about her love life. Though we always talk about our crushes, we never talked about it seriously.

“Uhm, Dara, do you like someone now?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, like. Not crushes that we always talked about. Like, serious like.” I said fastly.

“Hahaha, Chae, I get it. You talk so fast.”

“So?”

“Uhmm, yes!”

My heart. “Yes?”

“Yes! I’m liking someone!.” And there her giggles again.

“Why aren’t you telling me?! I’m hurt, we are best friends, right?” I said, while pouting.

“Don’t pout Chae.hahaha. I just realized I like that someone, just now?hehehe.”

“Just now? Who’s that person? Is it your crush we saw earlier? She has a girlfriend now Dara, stop it.hahaha.” I faked a laugh. I don’t know how to feel.

“I won’t tell you.” And she sticks out her tongue on me.

I was in deep thinking when she cupped my face and stares at me. My heart.

We stayed like that for seconds and then she smiles, my favourite smile.

“Are you in love?hahahaha! What’s wrong with you? You’re spacing out. Tell me now.”

Aish, this girl, moment wrecker. Tsk

“I don’t know.”

“What you don’t know?”

“Aish! Let’s just have a lunch, I’m just hungry.hehe.” I grabbed her hand and run to the food court.

And that day I realized I’m such a coward, until now, I’m a coward.

Years and months had passed, I’m successful on keeping our friendship strong, but I’m starting to fail to keep this secret feeling of mine now. My heart. It always widely beats whenever she’s around. It seems like it wants to jump out of my chest and go to claim Dara’s heart but my mind always pulling it back. I find ways to ignore the feeling and I got myself a girlfriend. Well I just courted her out of frustration and stupidity.

Our common friend in the university held a birthday party on a club. Me and Dara arrived together.

“Chae! I’m reminding you not to drink too much. I can’t carry you, you are heavy!hahaha.”

“Hul! Yes Boss!” and I winked at her. She just rolled her eyes on me.hahaha

The party went on and on. We are separated because different friends are dragging us here and there.

I was looking for her because I was worried that maybe she’s the one who drinks many liquor now. And then there she is, happily smiling and talking with Jiyong, her long time crush. The view is a pain in my eyes so I turned around and bump with this cheer leader girl on our university.

While on our way home,

“I saw you talking with Tiffany. You’re close with her now?”she asked me. I was really not in the mood but I noticed her weak voice, or it is just me, maybe she’s tired. The previous scene is still in my mind plus the effects of alcohol.

“Hmm.”

And then silence. I can’t help it so I asked.

“I saw you with Jiyong.” I looked at her and I don’t know, she looks like blushing. Aisht!

“Yeah.” She nods. It seems like she doesn’t want to tell so I just let her and also we were approaching our houses already. We exchanged “good nights” and end our day like that. How frustrating.

Weeks passed after that party and a rumour spreading that Jiyong is courting Dara. Wow. That past huh, I envy him actually. I never asked Dara about it, I want her to tell me p