Δ

There’s a pause. All I could muster was stare at Baekhyun who’s slowly, carefully, studying my next reaction. I could sense his uncertainty like how I could sense mine. We were on a stalemate and he’s anticipating how the next moments will unfold. Frankly, I didn’t want to mess the moment up.

“Taeyeon is my Maria.”

But then, the feeling started crawling. From my throat, into my temples, and the crease on my forehead. There was no denying - I knew I looked pissed. I was pissed.

“Right,” I finally said. “So you were really having contact with her.”

“Yeol, it’s not what you think it is.”

“Tell me how I’m interpreting the situation then.”

“We’re not really seeing each other or, or having dates-”

“Jesus Christ,” I said under gritted teeth. “So that’s what you thought I was thinking?”

“Was it not?”

“No! You make it sound like you actually did those things.”

“Yeol, of course not!”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“That’s why I’m telling you now!”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because,” Baekhyun paused and I could see hesitation in his eyes. “I couldn’t tell you about it.”

His reply didn’t do any good. “Figured so.”

“But Yeol! It’s not that I am doing this to betray your trust. It’s just that I don’t have the right to say it. Not now, that is. You can trust me. Really.”

“But did you trust me?” I asked. He didn’t answer. But I wasn’t really begging to be answered because I felt bad about myself, about us, and even about having that argument at all. I sighed.

“Let’s… Let’s get you home if you don’t want to talk about it,” I said, finally.

I just wanted to lock myself in my room.

Δ

We were standing outside their porch by the time both of us uttered a word.

“Yeo-” he began. “Bye,” I said at the same time. I didn’t really want to cut him off, but I could see he had no plan to continue talking.

“Good night,” I said and then walked into the street without looking back.

Did I feel bad? Yes. Was I wrong? Maybe. But did I deserve not being told about Taeyeon? Of course not! I mean, I believe in the privacy even between lovers. But he knew how I was uneasy these past few days because he told me about her being in the same class with him. And now that I finally know that they contacted each other and that he was hiding it from me all this time, I deserve to be pissed.

God! I badly needed a drink. Or a puff. But I couldn’t risk getting seen by grandma.

When I arrived home, I went directly to my room. I threw my phone to the farthest corner and plopped myself in front of my laptop. I was being driven mad. I wanted to talk to somebody about it. But no one was online. For a moment, I thought of calling Kai but decided against it. Pretty sure, he was somewhere partying again. That amount of human contact is not what I need right now. So I scrolled through Facebook mindlessly, hoping it would help me ease my temper. But the amount of stupidity in my feed only made me feel worse.

With nothing else to do, I checked the manga I was following and, thankfully, the author had updated. A double chapter at that! Finally a silver lining, I thought. So, for the rest of the night, I glued my attention to the laptop screen eager to take my mind off the confrontation earlier.

Halfway through the second chapter, I started feeling drowsy - which was somehow an indicator of my improving mood. Maybe I got tired from all the emotions earlier. I kept on reading, thankful for the distraction. And I couldn’t be bothered because the story was getting intense by the minute.

Δ

The next thing I remember, I was on the crossroads again. The usual dream of the past days. Somehow, I knew I fell asleep. Is this what they call lucid dreaming? I knew what I had to do and I had control of what I was doing. Or so I thought. Like a routine, I was back to running, reaching for the end of the road.

This time, however, Baekhyun wasn’t at the end.

Δ

I woke up from the panic. Sweat trailed down my forehead and my left arm was still asleep. Probably because of the pressure of my head on it all night. When I recovered from the momentary confusion of waking up, I noticed a notification blinking on the screen. It was a Facebook message from Luhan. I knew right then that it was about Baekhyun. Luhan never messages me. Really. Unless it’s about Baekhyun.

Yeol, the message read. Whatever did you do to Baekhyun again?

I sighed. It’s too early in the morning to deal with this. So I just typed, “Ask him yourself” and exited the chat box.

When I went out of my room, the first thing I noticed was the smell of miso soup flooding the air. The hunger took over as I rushed to the kitchen only to find grandma’s caregiver, Kris, in an apron beating some eggs.

“Good morning,” he said. His voice was a little hoarse maybe from waking up. He looked a bit tired but his clothes were as dapper as ever. As if he came out of a magazine catalogue.

“Good morning,” I answered him. “You’re making breakfast.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Give me ten minutes and the food will be ready.”

I nodded. With nothing else to do, I decided to sit by the table.

“Did you sleep in the house?”

He shook his head. “Came in at 5. I went home last night. As a matter of fact, I was about to go out when you stormed into the house last night.”

“Stormed?” Was I too obvious?

He chuckled. “You were practically red in anger. I didn’t bother to tell you I was going instead.”

“Sorry. I was just in a bad mood.”

“Had a fight with your bf?” He asked as he poured the eggs into the pan. It was a harmless question, he was just making small talk after all. But I was in no mood for that right now.

“Kinda. Long story.”

“I understand. Just…” he turned to look at me this time. “Make sure you get into fights for the right reasons. You both look happy together, don’t ruin that for the both of you.”

He winked. I was silent.  

“But then again, I haven’t seen a couple who haven’t fought with each other. Problems make you stronger so just hold on.” He shrugged.

“That-” I finally said. “That kinda hit home.”

He laughed.

“Here’s your omelet, mister.”

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