Walking through this white hallway..the sorrow wind that blew making my heart feel suffocated.... i keep walking....until i spotted his room... his hospital room that i visit everyday...i brace myself and head up to his room... seeing him in his white hospital gown lying there helplessly....i want to cry...desperately need to cry...to release this burden i kept in my heart....but i can't..i don't want him to worry..i need to be strong,strong for him.... so i make the widest smile i have..a fake smile that i hope i can fool him...make him know that i'm fine...

Him who make a smile that can make a thousand butterfly in my stomach explode now crying in pain...Him who laugh when i make stupid joke silently staring at the white sky...Him who can carry me in his back and run in the house now can't even walk by himself....i wish i was the one who in pain..

"i'm sorry that i have to tell you this mrs. kim..but your husband is suffering a brain cancer at stage 3"-- that day when that doctor said this word... Nothing can describe how devastated i feel...how i want to scream my heads off..how i wish that doctor is lying to me..lying to me that my dearly husband is dying...and how i wish this was just a dream...

"Yeobo~~...annyeong..i bring something for you today!..your favourite food chicken soup.."

I'm bringing him food everyday...i can see how his appetite gradually decreasing...the doctor said it's because of the treatment he get...

But he still trying really hard to finish every single food i bring..."i have to finish this baby..i don't want to wasted the love you pour into this meal" he said smiling...he still can make me cringed eventhough he's sick..this pabo...

"yeobo..sit here beside me please..i miss you".He want me to sit beside him.....

"wait oppa..i wash this bowl first"...

My tears drop into the sink...i can't control it now...i'm looking at the mirror...smile ______ ah!...smile....you can't let him see you cry....

Okay..i'm fine...i wipe my tears away and wash my face.....I walk into the room..walking towards his bed...and sitting beside him...he is smiling...

"yeobo yahh....i miss you so much" he said while hugging me so tight and kissing my cheek. "i miss you too oppa"..I said hugging him back...we were lying there in his bed silently appreciating the moment we have together...

"baby..when i'm gone..i want you to live happily...live your life..and never look back.." he suddenly said breaking the silent between us...

I was shock by his word.."oppa,don't say that..you have to fight this illness..fight for me oppa.."i said..now i can't control my tear anymore..I start to cry in his shoulder...

"yeobo...look at me.."he said while cupping my face.

"i will fight for you...god damn i will...but if fate is not in our side..i don't want you to be sad..please..be happy for me..i know you keep smiling to me everyday..but i can see in your eyes that you're suffering...if i'm gone...i don't want you to be like this anymore.." 

"don't you ever leave me without my permision oppa...i love you and i can't live without..you..." i said to him...

"yeobo...i promise you..eventhough i'm gone..i'll always by your side...don't you worry ok"

His word didn't calm me...i can't live without him...i just can't..but i don't want to be selfish...he's more in pain than me..so i stop crying to make him feel better...

We lying in his bed and drifted to sleep...i want to froze this precious time with him..i don't want it to be ended....