“Are you actually offering me this?”

Baekhyun looked down at the cucumbers in his plate in disgust. Chanyeol looked confused.

“What, you don’t like cucumbers?”

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows as if to say, No, duh. “They smell.”

“They don’t have a smell.”

“They have a weird texture.”

“All food has a weird texture.”

Baek got up on his knees. “Cucumbers are irrational. I don’t like them.” He declared passionately with his hands on his hips, “The world would be a better place without cucumbers!”

They were sitting in the far corner of Happy Virus Hats again, Chanyeol with his camcorder and Baek with apple juice in his hands. It was late afternoon, the sky was getting kinda pink, and if you listened closely, you could hear the faint tune of California Girls playing outside.

“Fine, wait here. I’ll go bring something.”

“Twinkies!”

“I’ll bring you a healthy snack. Wait and be good.”

“Wah~ I wanted Twinkies.” But Baek’s aegyo wouldn’t work and Chanyeol was already long gone.

Never before in the history of Kyungsoo’s drug store, had Advil Lay ever actually bought something.

But today, he amazed us all when he approached the counter with a screwdriver, a snowglobe, and a chocolate bunny, and silently arranged them on the checkout desk.

“Son, why on Earth are you buying this? Are you okay? If something’s troubling you, don’t hesitate to vent. Not to me, of course. I don’t have time to listen to your .” Kyungsoo laughed heartily.“Tao, can you check out this child’s stuff? I’m going to go see if that Spongebob merchandise I ordered came in yet.”

Zitao, who was sorting out toothpastes, rolled his eyes and strolled over.

“Hurry up, Tao, I’ll fire you.”

Tao sped up and appeared behind the counter. “’Kay, cash or credit?”

Lay silently handed him a credit card and Tao swiped it in. His information flashed across the checkout screen and Tao’s lip twitched. “Wait... your name’s Yixing?”

Just then, Chanyeol pushed through the glass doors and froze. “Advil Lay’s name is Yixing?!”

Kyungsoo came tripping through the back door, holding a Spongebob body pillow. “Waitwaitwaitwaitwait...Yixing?”

Lay looked stoned. “Yeah, so? I know a guy named Bacon.”

Tao winced. “Ooh, yikes.”

“CAL-I-FORNIA GIRLS, WE’RE UNFORGETTABLE.  DAISY DUKES, BIKINIS ON TOP.”

“Bro, can you turn it dow-“

“SUN KISSED SKIN, SO HOT, WE’LL MELT YOUR POPSICLE.”

“BRO, I SWEAR TO GOD.” Jongin held his hands in the air as if to say take me, take me now, and just then, the incessant ringing stopped.

The lords had answered his plea. Oh Sehun leaned forward and lowered the passenger seat window. Jongin could swear he heard angels sing, until the noodle boy opened his mouth and said, “Get me something to eat.”

“What?”

Sehun handed him a ten dollar bill. “Get. Me. Something to eat.”

Jongin looked back at the skies above and down at the guy in the minivan. “Hell no. If you want something to eat, get it yourself.”

At first, Sehun looked impressed, like someone would actually dare to refuse him. But then the light of the situation dawned on him. “Hey, wait, I can’t do that! I have my pride!” He leaned back in his seat angrily, and then, after a few seconds of hesitation and internal struggle, pushed open the minivan’s door.

Through the auto repair shop window, a stunned Jongin could barely grasp the fact that Oh Sehun laid down his ego and exposed his milky princess skin to the rusty air of a third-rate strip mall.

It was 2:30 in the afternoon of the first Thursday of July when Oh the maknae Sehun nudged open the doors to Kyungsoo’s convenience store. It was still 2:30 when Huang Zitao noticed him and spit out his orange soda all over the toothpaste isle floors, and it was 2:31 when Kyungsoo and his Spongebob pillow saw him and the whites of his eyes got even bigger than usual.

Lay was the only one who didn’t seem surprised, and waved at his friend. Sehun nodded back, and approached Zitao. “Um, hey, can I get some bread?”

“You can get my bread—I mean, uh, it’s over by the cookies, isle three.”

“Kay.”

But Tao wouldn’t let their chance meeting end here, and followed Sehun to the bread. While Sehun studied the different breads, Tao studied the angles of Sehun’s , not noticing how annoyingly close he was getting before whipping out his phone to get a shot of that glorious slope. It was no surprise that Oh Sehun freaked the hell out when he noticed Zitao’s nose inches away from his million dollar , backing away ferociously. Intoxicated by breathing the same air as the of the heavens, Tao was too focused on taking a picture, and ferociously closed in on his prey.

They went on like that around two or three isles, Sehun walking backwards, bag of buns in hand, and Tao crawling forwards, IPhone in hand. Both at the speed of light until they reached the medicine isle and Huang Zitao dropped his phone, and Oh Sehun hit a dead end.

His first thought was to bash the ert over the head with the buns and make a break for it. But then he thought, I can probably skip the first step and ed launched himself forward. Meanwhile Tao leaned down to pick up his fallen Apple phone.

After that it was all in slow motion. Sehun soared up, Tao watched him fly and raised a hand to stop him, still thinking of nothing but getting an HD shot of that booty. Sehun froze midair – because let’s face it, noodles can’t fly – and put a hand on the Advil cabinet for support, while Tao’s hand landed sharply on Sehun’s crotch.

To Lay’s horror and Tao’s satisfaction, Sehun landed back in the corner and the Advil cabinet came crashing down.

At that moment, Kris glided into the drug store with a smug grin, ready for his daily dose of Zitao when he saw the sight: a petrified Sehun with a bag of buns under his arm, a traumatized Lay trying to save as many Advil jars as possible, and finally, a kneeling Tao with his left hand on Sehun’s crotch, discretely lifting up his phone to – snap – get a shot of the holy Sebooty.

Kris raised his brows. “This is so hot but so illegal.”

The sun was starting to set when Baekhyun finally left Happy Virus Hats, full from the sixteen raspberry granola bars he had been fed. He walked past Grampa Junmyeon, who was getting yelled at by the rich landowner because apparently ‘believing in himself’ was not enough for him to guess which dog would win the Annual Seoul Canine Race, and approached his grandma’s car.

A smirking Minseok skidded towards him, holding a platinum alien antenna headband in one hand and stuffing what looked like a couple hundred bucks in his pocket with the other. “Hey, Baekkiee~ Can I interest you in this one-of-a-kind galaxy headband? It’s cuteness is out of this world!”

The two trolls shared a soulful glance and Baek handed Minseok a rolled up bill, while Minseok crowned his customer with the antennae. They nodded at each other and Baekhyun slipped into the backseat of the minivan. Sehun and Lay were already inside.

“So how was your day?” Baek leaned forward to talk to his friend in the passenger seat, only to see Lay rocking himself slowly with a damaged expression, looking ahead but seeing nothing. “What’s with Lay?” Baekhyun turned to the driver, Sehun, who looked like he was about to cry.

“Honestly, why’s everyone so weird today?” A puppy-faced Byun huffed, and his grandmother’s baby blue minivan drove off into the setting sun without another word from its passengers. 

-

I can't stop laughing at the taohun >.< 

I think I went a bit overboard with that scene, but it's okay because anything for the sebooty. 

How is it so far? Yay or Nay? Tell mee~ I need to know or I might explode. I'm literally sitting here behind my laptop, twitching uncontrollably. Do they like it? I  can't tell. Is it good? What if it ?

So comment! I wanna know what you liked, and even what you didn't like! And pleease, give my precious story an upvote, so it can be happy. 

I love you, and I hope you're enjoying it. Remember, I update three times a week!