and I, for you

Chorong recovered from her fever and able to attend the exam just fine – still she cried after she went home, thinking she messed up and wouldn’t be able to pass. But when the next day came, and she was hit by the realization that it’s over – that she didn’t have to study as much as before. For the first time since her third year started in high school she stayed up late not because of studying but for watching a drama that she finished in one day.

She texted her friends and they were more or less in the same condition as her; enjoying life by being a couch potato. Talking about the exam was banned from their group chat, so Jinwoo spammed the group with short clips of cats doing stupid things.

Four days into her holiday Kibum texted them all, reminding them about the planned trip and told them to gather at the bus station on Friday morning.

Chorong was early, combination of habit and excitement of seeing her friends again and she bounced in her heels when Joohyun came accompanied by her father.

“Joohyun-ah!” she waved her hand excitedly.

“Chorongie!” Joohyun waved back with the same amount of energy as if they didn’t talk on the phone last night comparing things to bring. She almost lost her balance when she stepped down from the car, and her father had to shout at Joohyun for leaving her phone behind on the seat.

Kibum ticked their name off of his list while Minho sent them a small smile from beside Kibum – Chorong didn’t miss how his stare lingered on Joohyun or how she ducked her head, pretending she didn’t notice although the red on her neck proved otherwise.

Jinwoo came next, looking ecstatic with the wide grin on his face. He greeted everyone there one by one before stopping at Chorong’s and Joohyun’s side, babbling about how he finally had the time to play with his sister and took her shopping. As usual Junmyeon came last, always terrible at packing and preparing himself, and Kibum yelled at him because the bus would depart in less than ten minutes.

When they finally got into the bus Joohyun dragged Chorong’s wrist, wanting to take her to the back rows of the bus, but Chorong held her back.

“Joohyun-ah, let’s sit here,” she said, pointing to the seats across Minho and Kibum. Chorong saw how Minho’s eyes followed Joohyun, hoping that she would sit nearby. And as soon as Chorong threw the idea, Minho fully turned his head, staring at Joohyun with expectation clear on his face.

Joohyun glanced to the seat with a bite on her lips, but then she made a small nod. “Alright.”

“Give me your bag, I’ll put it up here.” Even though she’s also short but Joohyun’s frame was smaller, she’s cute and acted like a child at times that taking care of her just became Chorong’s instinct. She grabbed Joohyun’s bag and attempted to put it on the compartment above their seats, yet, already tiptoeing, Chorong still had difficulties putting Joohyun’s bag up.

“Do you need help—”

Someone said from the side but before Chorong could register who it was, she felt a presence behind her and then a pair of long arms helped her putting Joohyun’s bag to the compartment.

“You shorties,” the person teased, and when Chorong looked up she got a full view of Minho’s jawline. He looked back down and grinned mischievously. “Anything else you want to put up here?”

“Ah, thanks. My bag…” Chorong handed him her own bag, and while doing so, she saw Junmyeon on the side, staring at them before he went to sit next to Jinwoo.

They departed like that, but not before Kibum made sure all the participants of the trip were there.

*

Chorong didn’t know much about Minho.

She only knew that he’s a very competitive person when it came to sport, always had a deep frown on his face when he’s losing a game – even when his class’ losing a game – during sport festivals. He’s also good-looking, but for Chorong he came out cold and haughty, he just didn’t leave a very nice impression on her.

Now, though, as Minho kept on trying to talk to Joohyun about anything and everything – and since she’s sitting by the window while Chorong took the aisle seat, meaning she’s trapped between the two – Chorong decided that he’s an ‘okay’ guy.

Apparently he’s a smiley person, just like Jinwoo, but without the ‘smiling-idiot’ aura. It made him looked charming instead that Chorong could finally understand why her friends talk about Minho so much. He just appeared to be arrogant on the outside, inside he’s pretty similar to Jinwoo – and no one in the right mind should hate on a ball of sunshine like them.

“Chorong, you want some?” Minho stretched out his arm over the aisle, offering a box of rice cakes to her. Funny, his eyes were directed to something over Chorong instead. Actually Chorong was pretty sure Minho couldn’t see her at all in his world.

It’s clear that Minho’s attention was all for Joohyun, but Chorong appreciated his attempt to be polite and included her in every conversation.

“Thanks—”

“Wooowww. Yeah, wow, don’t mind me, the friend who’s by your side for these three years, even now, forget that I’m here, offer them your food, don’t share it with me,” Kibum’s voice cut her off with an unimpressed expression, tone dripping with unconcealed sarcasm. It made Minho turned around with a bashful laugh.

Joohyun smiled too over Kibum’s childish outburst, but she quickly covered her smile with her fist when Minho glanced. Chorong thought she’s being extra shy today, and it’s adorable. She wondered what happened between the two.

“Chorong-ah,” suddenly Jinwoo waddled from a couple seats behind and stopped right beside Chorong, leaning on her seat. “Do you bring any medicine, ah, Jun is sick. Car sick.”

“Junmyeon?” Chorong raised her eyebrows. She’s worried, but usually Junmyeon wasn’t the type to get motion sickness.

“I bring some pills.” Joohyun reached out for her hand bag on the floor and took out a small pouch. “Tell Jun to rest his head back and massage his temple—”

“Great,” Jinwoo snatched the pouch from Joohyun’s hand and basically shoved it to Chorong. “I’m sure Chorong will know what to do. Change seats!”

Feeling four pairs of eyes staring at her – even Kibum’s – Chorong thought it would be highly inappropriate if she refused (or at least, that’s the reason she gave to herself to justified her action) so she stood up, giving her seat to Jinwoo and moved to the empty seat next to Junmyeon.

The boy had his eyes shut tight as if he’s concentrating, arms crossed in front of his chest, and there’s a small frown between his eyebrows. Chorong resisted the urge to run her thumb over the crease. Junmyeon didn’t seem to realize that it’s not Jinwoo who’s sitting beside him, and he didn’t open his eyes when Chorong touched her arm.

“Junmyeon? You’re okay?”

Junmyeon opened his eyes in a jolt. “Chorong? Why you’re—”

“Jinwoo said you have car sick, do you feel nauseous?” Chorong started to Joohyun’s pouch, looking for the right pills. “Want to take some medicine? It’ll help you to sleep.”

“I’m not…,” Junmyeon trailed off, hesitating. But then he made up his mind. “I’ll take it.”

When he’s done swallowing the pills with water, Chorong pushed Junmyeon’s head back to the backrest and brought her hands up, starting to massage his temple gently. Junmyeon was clearly surprised, mouth already opened to question her, but Chorong beat him to it.

“Should help. With the…,” Junmyeon was staring at her, holding his gaze on her eyes, and Chorong could feel her heart beat too fast, too loud against her ribcage, she’s scared Junmyeon would hear it, “… nauseous.” It felt more than a few seconds of Junmyeon’s staring until he simply nodded and closed his eyes, leaning back, shoulders no longer tensed and enjoying Chorong’s massage.

Chorong’s not sure until when she had to massage Junmyeon’s temple, but her inner turmoil was disturbed by Junmyeon.

“… I,” he started and then cleared his throat while Chorong waited for what he’s going to say, “… I didn’t know that you’re close… with Minho.”

She blinked several times on automatic, thinking through the statement – accusation? – and the answer to it. “I’m not close with him…?”

There’s a slight twitch on Junmyeon’s eyebrows. Perhaps the movements of the bus when it turned bothered him. “You two keep on talking. Since before we depart.”

“Oh, that.” Junmyeon’s skin was smooth around the temple, but Chorong spotted a pimple near his chin. She averted her gaze up, didn’t want to feel like a creeper, staring at her best friend’s face when he didn’t notice. “You don’t hear it from me, okay? But I think there’s something between Minho and Joohyun.”

“Joo—?” This time Junmyeon opened his eyes, and Chorong thought it’s the right time to retract her hands. Her palms started to get sweaty and she wiped them on her jeans. Junmyeon tilted his head, confused. “Joohyun and Minho? Do you mean… She likes him?”

“I don’t know for sure,” Chorong admitted, leaning back a little, and it’s as if she could breathe evenly again as soon as there’s some distance between them. “Joohyun never told me, it’s just I saw them exchanging notes during study hour. And, intuition? Minho can’t keep his eyes away from Joohyun and she’s like, really shy around him.”

“Hmm…”

Suddenly, Junmyeon leaned over Chorong to look to the front, where he could see Minho and Jinwoo chatted animatedly about dogs. Chorong could only hold her breath when she caught a whiff of Junmyeon’s cologne, the fresh and cool sensation it brought made her dizzy with wants.

Life’s not being very kind to her today.

“… Well, Minho’s a good guy. I’m sure he’ll take good care of our Joohyun.” Junmyeon returned to his seat, smiling now, white teeth on display. He didn’t look nauseous anymore.  

But while Chorong’s busy contemplating whether she should switch seats back with Jinwoo or not, Junmyeon already pulled his phone out, browsing through the images until he found one he’s looking for. “Chorong-ah, yesterday I play with my two years old niece…”

Then he told her every little thing his niece did with a proudness that could rivaling a new father, and he asked her about the drama she watched over the holiday, and he paid attention to Chorong’s boring story about her siblings with genuine interest.

And he smiled, and he laughed, and he listened.

At times like this, Junmyeon made it so effortless to fall for him, again and again.

***

“I call dibs!” Solar dived into the bed near the window before she craned her neck to look ever her shoulder. “Is it okay?” She’s from the same class as Kibum and Minho, and they’re assigned to the same room in Minho’s uncle’s villa.

“I’m fine with anything,” Joohyun answered first, putting her bag on the other bed, looking at Chorong expectantly. “Chorongie?”

Chorong shrugged, following Joohyun. “A bed’s a bed.”

“Awesome! Then, I’m with you, Solar,” Jimin, the last girl in their assigned room, jumped next to Solar onto the bed.

They started to unpack while chatting since Kibum already told them the dinner had been taken care of and they didn’t have to help. Both Solar and Jimin was outgoing person, and it certainly helped lightening the mood between them considering Chorong’s not a talker and Joohyun was plain shy.

“Hey, you’re all single, right?” Solar threw the question out of the blue, tying her long hair into a ponytail, staring at them one by one. Chorong wasn’t very familiar with her, but she did know about her rather blunt personality. “Is there anyone you like, though?”

Joohyun blushed immediately, looking down while folding her clothes. Chorong opted to glance at Jimin – because she knew her, and Jimin was not known for holding back her words.

The short-haired girl huffed, nose scrunched up when she said, “Well, I’m in ‘some’ relationship.”

Solar whistled. “Who? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with anyone…”

This time Jimin looked thoughtful for a second before she answered. “With a junior high kid.”

“Wha—Really?!” Solar all but yelled, and Chorong didn’t blame her at all for the reaction – even Joohyun was staring with wide eyes at Jimin.

The girl nodded, laughed and then shrugged. “My neighbor. It just happened. I know he’s too young, so I don’t want to take it too serious. But he’s a nice kid, and he’s stubborn about us.” Jimin shrugged again, probably wanted to take the matter lightly, but it’s clear that she liked the kid. “Aaand that’s me, what about you, Solar? You should tell us, since you’re the one who asks.”

“Me? Aaaah, I’m 100% single! Actually, I’m still… How do you say it? Hmm, let’s say I find girls attractive too, and I don’t know yet which gender attracts me more,” Solar said, as casual as telling them the weather, didn’t even stop from munching her snacks.

Maybe because how easy Solar told them as if it’s not a big deal, but Chorong found herself didn’t think it mattered much, either. Perhaps Jimin thought the same cause she just nodded, didn’t hesitate to reach out to Solar and stole her snacks from her grasp.

“I heard rumors, by the way,” Jimin turned her attention to Chorong this time. “That Kim Seokjin confessed to you, but you rejected him. Don’t say that it’s not true, Chorong, I have ears everywhere, you know? Why you don’t like him? He’s tall, cute, and he’s nice! Oooh, don’t tell me, do you have someone that you like?”

For a split second Chorong considered lying, lying like she always did, lying to her friends and lying to herself, but maybe it’s Jimin’s giving a chance for love, or maybe it’s Solar’s accepting who she really was, she didn’t want to deny it this time.

Chorong glanced to Joohyun. She’s staring. “… There is… someone.”

Joohyun’s round eyes widened again, surprised, but it’s more like she’s surprised over the fact that Chorong’s admitting it, not because she didn’t know. Slowly, a smile started to blossom on her lips.

“Who is it? Can you tell us?” Solar leaned forward from her place on the bed. “Ah! Is he here?”

Chorong felt like smiling, too, for no particular reason at all. “… He is.”

*

As tempting it was for them to stay up late to chat and played games, Kibum was very determined to take them seeing sunrise at the beach the next day, so all of them were ushered to their own rooms by midnight.

Chorong washed her face and brushed her teeth before she climbed up to bed next to Joohyun who’s already curling up under the blanket.

“Lights off!” Solar said, going to the switch to turn off the lights.

As soon as the room went dark, Joohyun inched closer to Chorong. She’s being clingier tonight after Chorong’s confession, barely let go of her arm and followed her everywhere more than usual, to the point Jinwoo noticed it and pointed it out.

“Yah, are you two glued together? What’s wrong with you tonight, Bae Joohyun?” Jinwoo had asked after dinner when Chorong washed the dishes with Junmyeon. Joohyun was there too, not helping, just tailing Chorong.

Junmyeon had glanced to the petite girl, also curious. Joohyun had met his eyes but then she turned to Jinwoo and stuck out her tongue, giggling afterwards. Even Minho couldn’t get Joohyun to talk to him alone.

“… Chorongie,” Joohyun whispered, low enough so that only Chorong could hear her.

Chorong hummed. She knew what Joohyun’s going to talk about. Earlier, they didn’t finish their conversation, Solar and Jimin respected Chorong and didn’t pry further about the guy she liked, only teasing her good-naturedly.

Joohyun moved closer again, they’re face to face and Chorong could barely see her blinking eyes or the slope of her nose in the dark. “… It’s… It’s Junmyeon, …right?”

Even hearing his name made a flip on Chorong's stomach. “… Is there anyone else?” she asked, feeling rather sad, but also longed for something she couldn’t explain. “Do you think it’s Jinwoo?”

“No way!” Joohyun said, a little bit too loud that Chorong had to shush her. They both tried to suppress their laugh. “I mean, Jinwoo’s good, but… But it’s just not him. Not for you.”

Chorong let the words sink in before she asked, “… Was it obvious that I like Junmyeon?”

“Hmm… it’s not that you are obvious. You two are obvious.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know if you really don’t notice or you just want to hear it, but, isn’t it obvious that he depends on you a lot? Every time he needs to make a decision, he looks at you first… Even though you don’t say anything, it's like you give him the affirmation he needs or something. And you… Chorongie, you’re always so dependable, it can be intimidating sometimes. But with Junmyeon…” Joohyun stopped then, and she smiled. “Consciously or not, you let him takes care of you.”

“Because, it’s Junmyeon, he takes care of everyone—”

“You just don’t see the way he looks at you. Like he’s proud of you, fond of you…”

“Now you’re talking nonsense.” Chorong flicked Joohyun’s nose, earning a low whine from the other girl. As much as Joohyun’s words fueled her with hope and anticipation, they were exactly the things she didn’t need right now.

“I’m telling you—!”

“It’s just…,” Chorong started to say, but hesitated. She sighed. “Junmyeon’s really nice, okay? And yes, sometimes I think he treats me… differently, but then again I don’t want to think too much just because he’s nicer to me, when in reality I’m his best friend and he has those girlfriends…”

Joohyun was quiet, but her hand found Chorong’s hand under the blanket. It’s a little bit awkward for Chorong, letting her heart open for someone else to see, even if it’s her best friend, but she endured the tingling feeling and let Joohyun held her hand.

“I’m not saying it just because, I say it because I honestly think Junmyeon has feelings for you,” she said, squeezing Chorong’s hand.

“… Thank you, Joohyun-ah.”

Joohyun smiled at her. “And, um, there’s something I need to tell you too…”

Chorong couldn’t help but to grin. “Is this about Minho?”

“It’s—Yes, it’s about him…,” Joohyun murmured, ducking her head a bit. “Now, talking about obvious… I wanted to tell you sooner but with the exam’s coming I didn’t think it’s important, but now…”

“Now…?”

“He’s being… really forward… And I don’t know what to do!” Joohyun said, panicking, and now Chorong got it why she seemed to avoid Minho since the morning. She didn’t tell Joohyun that she looked adorable this way, though.

“Well… Is he good to you?” Chorong asked. Joohyun nodded albeit small. “Do you like him?” Her friend stilled, but then she nodded again, smiling shyly. This time it’s her turn to squeezed Joohyun’s hand. “Then I don’t see the problem.”

They stopped chatting not long after, and Chorong fell asleep to Joohyun’s words spinning in her mind; ‘You just don’t see the way he looks at you…’, and the image of Junmyeon’s staring at her like he wanted to tell her something – but never did.

***

Kibum woke them up roughly two hours before sunrise. Since they’re entering Winter it’s not that early, but it’s the warmth provided by the blankets that was hard to leave and half of the guys decided to just stay in bed instead. It took joined efforts from Junmyeon and Minho to drag Jinwoo away from the cocoon of his blanket.

Chorong couldn’t find her gloves, but she figured she could hold her hot packs, so she just grabbed her scarf – and Junmyeon’s red scarf, the one he lent her when she’s sick and she hadn’t had the time to return.

“Junmyeon,” she called out the boy, in the middle of wearing a black beanie. He turned to her, raising his eyebrows. There’s a part of his hair that got messed up because of the beanie. “I want to return this. Thanks. For taking me home, too.”

She took a step forward, handing him the scarf with her left hand while her right pulled Junmyeon’s beanie a little to fix it. When she looked back at Junmyeon, he’s staring at her. She blinked, taken aback with the way he stared.

“I… There’s—Hair. Your hair, it was… sticking out.”

Junmyeon didn’t say a word. His eyes fell to Chorong’s neck, wrapped around her own scarf. It was just a simple black wool scarf.

Suddenly he tugged on it. “Let me borrow yours. You can use mine.”

“What? Why?”

“Because,” Junmyeon’s still tugging on it, so Chorong relented and took it off for him to take. He wrapped it around his neck, and he kept his eyes on Chorong’s when he said, “… Because red looks better on you.”

This time, Chorong was so sure Junmyeon could hear her thumping heart.

*

It was cold at the beach, as expected, and Jinwoo leaned on Junmyeon’s shoulder, half-asleep while they waited for the sun to rise. Junmyeon’s nose was red – at least what’s seen of his nose, with him burying his face on Chorong’s scarf like that.

Chorong had her hands on her pocket, gripping on her hot packs tightly while Joohyun hugged her from the side, rubbing her arms up and down to share body heat. Junmyeon’s scarf no longer smelled like him, it just smelled like the detergent Chorong’s mom used, still the simple thought of she’s wearing his thing made it hard not to feeling mushy and stupid inside.

Thankfully the sky was clear when the sun rose and they got a perfect view of the rising sun.

It was an experience like no other, seeing the sky’s changing colors, flaming near the sun and then the blue was spreading through the dark. No picture could really capture what they saw with their own eyes.

They took tons of photos, trying to jump at the same time with the sea as the background, and at some point someone started to yell out his wishes to get accepted in his dream university followed by the others.

It was among all the chaos when Chorong felt someone touched her elbow, pulling her to the side to take her attention.

His nose was still red even though it’s gotten warmer with the sun.

“Do you want to take a walk?” Junmyeon asked.

Chorong turned around to look at their friends – Joohyun was with Minho while Jinwoo was busy taking photos with some other boys. She turned back to Junmyeon. “Sure.”

They walked side by side, away from their friends to the quieter area, and they’re so close that their shoulders bumped into each other at times. Junmyeon didn’t seem to mind, as he didn’t move away. He never did.

“You didn’t bring your gloves?” Junmyeon said, looking down to Chorong’s hands on her pocket.

“Ah… I did, I think. But I couldn’t find it.” Junmyeon’s already taking off his gloves. “Wait, Jun, you don’t have to, I have these hot packs…”

“It’s alright. Wear them, it’s cold.”

Chorong obeyed, taking the gloves from Junmyeon and wore them. They’re warm. Warmer, because Junmyeon had used them.

‘You let him takes care of you.’

That, Chorong had to agree.

In the back, they could still hear their friends’ chatter, laughs and yells and loud in overall, but they’re getting further soon the voices sounded so distant. Junmyeon stopped, then, and Chorong thought there’s something distinct with her best friend.

She realized now, that Junmyeon hadn’t smile since earlier, and the way he looked at Chorong…

That look - it’s no longer look like he had something to say, it’s like he was going to do it.

“I don’t think you remember,” Junmyeon started to say, and Chorong glanced up at him. He’s not looking back, facing the sea instead. “But when you’re sick and I took you home, I promise you something.”

“Umm…”

Chorong remembered feeling terrible and miserable. She remembered Joohyun buttoned up her coat for her. She remembered Junmyeon walked her to the taxi. She also remembered Jinwoo called the next day. She didn’t remember Junmyeon made her any promise.

“I promise… that I would tell you after the exam.”

“Tell me… what?” Chorong thought her heart stopped beating just now. Or maybe it beat faster, she didn’t know.

Junmyeon kicked the sand under them before he looked back up to Chorong.

He already pulled down his scarf, and his skin looked even paler now with cheeks reddening from the cold wind. His hair’s peeking out under the beanie and yesterday’s pimple was still there on his chin. The cheekbones were protruding – they were round and they made him look younger, but then the edge of his jawline was prominent it gave him the manly look.

There’s no denying the fact that Junmyeon was handsome, and Chorong was every bit of falling in love with him – even beyond his appearance, more to every little things that made Junmyeon Junmyeon.

His gaze was soft, yet steady, and he kept it on Chorong.

Chorong didn’t know since when Junmyeon had the look on his face.

“Tell you… that I like you. Probably since the first year. And I really, really like you.”

The sound of waves crashing to the shore was loud – but at the same time, it was not, like a background noise, Chorong heard static instead. There’s also heartbeat. Hers. It’s quite a surprise she’s still able to stand right now, when Junmyeon, of all the people, told her that he liked her. For years.

“Honestly, I didn’t mean to. You’re my best friend. But you’re just… you. You’re smart, you’re pretty, you’re kind. You’re so… calming, whenever I feel upset, looking at you makes me able to think clearly again. You have that effect on me. At first I thought—I hope, it’s just a crush. Because you’re my friend, and I don’t want to lose you just because of my stupid crush. But you’re…” He stopped to inhale, shaking his head. Junmyeon’s smile was different, like he was amused – yet at the same time, he’s not. “You’re making it very hard to forget you…”

“… Jun,” she could only rasp out his name.

“I tried. When I went out with someone, I tried my best to like them, to return their feelings, but whatever I did, I always ended up comparing them to you, and I couldn’t. They must had notice it, that’s why they dumped me, and frankly speaking, I deserved all of it. But… I’m done.”

Junmyeon turned his body to Chorong, standing in front of her and staring straight to her eyes, into her. He took a deep breath.

“I’m done, Chorong, I’m done being your friend. I’m done pretending that I don’t want to hold your hands and make you mine. I’m done denying my feelings, and my question is,” he swallowed, “… Would you consider my feelings, and be my girlfriend?”

The question did it – Chorong choked up, had to step back and reminded herself to breathe because she’s not going to have a panic attack right here right now in front of her crush, who had just confessed to her.

She thought about all the times, all the times Junmyeon’s there on her side, all the touches, all the smiles and her feelings, but then she thought about all those times – times when he’s not hers, times when he left his friends to be with his girlfriend, and her feelings.

All the thoughts were terrifying and over-whelming.

The tear escaped Chorong’s eyes before she even realized it and she’s quick to wipe it off, feeling angry with herself for being too emotional. Junmyeon didn’t need to see it.

But he already did, as he stepped closer and tried to take Chorong’s hand. “Chorong-ah. I’m sorry, you must be surprised—”

Junmyeon’s soothing voice just brought out more tears as Chorong’s crying now. She wanted to stop crying because it’s stupid, the one she liked confessed to her so what’s with these tears? She rubbed her eyes furiously, wishing the tears to just stop.

“—Hey, hey hey. Look, I’m sorry, did I upset you?” Junmyeon asked. He took Chorong’s hands away from her face and made her look at him. He looked genuinely worried and there’s a hint of hurt in his eyes. “You don’t have to—,” he his chapped lips, looking for the correct words. In the end Junmyeon just sighed. “I understand… if you don’t feel the same way. You… probably angry because I ruin our friendship, but I promise that nothing’s going to change, I’ll still be your friend—”

“… Don’t.”

Junmyeon looked up. “Huh?”

Before Junmyeon could fully comprehend the meaning behind the word, Chorong was already falling to his embrace, burying her face in his chest.

“C-Chorong?”

“… Don’t take it back,” she said to his chest, barely holding back from whining. “Please don’t take it back, I don’t want to be friends.”

Junmyeon’s breath hitched and Chorong could feel he went stiff. “Does—Does that mean…?” The fabric of Junmyeon’s scarf – hers – brushed against her cheek but Chorong paid it no mind as she pressed her body closer to Junmyeon without answering. She didn’t want to talk, she didn’t want to open her eyes. If she opened them, maybe she’d wake up and everything was just a dream.

No response from Junmyeon, and Chorong thought, This is it, this is the part when he said he’s just joking—

Right about when she’s about to step away, Junmyeon pulled her back.

“Wait—Just, wait.” Junmyeon sounded like he’s out of breath and suddenly he laughed, albeit it’s shaky like he’s actually nervous. “You like me too.” It’s more of a statement than a question.

Chorong nodded over Junmyeon’s shoulder and her fingers curled up on his sides, grabbing onto his jacket. “… A lot,” she whispered. “… For a while.”

“How— How long is a while?”

“… More than a couple of days. … Or months. Or… semesters.”

Junmyeon laughed again, almost like he couldn’t believe what he heard. “God. I can’t believe I didn’t tell you sooner, I’m so stupid.” He let go, then, only to look at Chorong’s face.

His cheeks were still red, but now it’s more due to the blood rather than the cold, and his eyes were sparkling, the edge of his lips tugged upward so high.

He looked the happiest that Chorong had ever seen.

“… Our friends are staring but I really want to kiss you right now,” Junmyeon said in one breath.

Chorong would blush if only she didn’t have the same thought right now. “I don't mind.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon said, grinning. He brought a hand to cup Chorong’s face and he her cheek for a while, wiping the dry tears there. “Park Chorong…,” he said, the grin’s already gone, and Chorong didn’t know what Junmyeon wanted to say because he never finished it.

But he kissed her, lips chapped and cold but sent sparks to every curve and corner of her, slow and gentle and lingered while his other hand found Chorong’s and Junmyeon held it in his.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Chorong registered Jinwoo’s loud cheer from the distance, but she’s too busy to care because kissing Junmyeon was making her whole.

Junmyeon stepped back, forcing Chorong to open her eyes.

He’s staring at her with that look, but now with a smile on his face, and he finished what he wanted to say before he kissed her.

“… I really like you…”