“help me”

Why is it so hard for us sometimes to just ask? If you're curious about something, why not ask? If you're having trouble doing something, why not ask for help? Why not do something about it instead of waiting for somebody to do it for you?

We always get scared most of the time, scared of not getting the answer you wanted, scared of getting ignored, scared of getting rejected, scared of a lot of things. Fear always get the best of us. Its triumphs are more than Courage's successes. It's odd, because when you think about it, you only need at least 10 seconds to speak, to swallow the fear, to ask, to stand up, to raise your hand - just 10 seconds. In reality, however, it's not that easy. But, once you manage to settle into this kind of thinking, maybe, just maybe, you'd be more welcoming of fear. Fear is indeed scary, but Fear welcomes brand new beginings, realizations, opportunities, etc. Why is that so? Because without Fear, people will just be content of living inside their shell, their comfort zone. Without Fear making them realize that they are actually scared of stepping beyond that boundary, there is a possibility that they'll be content of what they're doing or what they are now when they still have so much room to grow.

Because of their schedules, Baekhyun hadn’t contacted Bomi for a while. In actuality, he just doesn’t have the tenacity to call her and ask her about Jongdae – if she did call him – since he considers himself a third party. He wouldn’t dare bring up Bomi in front of Jongdae even though it’s killing him inside.

“You’ve been smiling a lot nowadays,” Chanyeol pointed out one time when he saw Jongdae eaing breakfast by himself in the living room.

“Well, of course,” Jongdae told him as if it was a fact, “I’m on cloud nine, as what others may call it,” he purposely said out loud for Baekhyun to hear him in his room.

Baekhyun heard this, opened his door and threw a pillow in his face. “Hopefully, your mouth rips from smiling too much!”

“My breakfast!” Jongdae yelled in horror for the food he prepared fell on the floor because of the pillow.

Chanyeol laughed unable to hold his laughter, and clutched onto his stomach. Baekhyun shut the door before Jongdae could do anything so he just glared at Chanyeol still laughing his off.

Baekhyun didn’t need to ask. From how Jongdae regained his chesire cat smile, it’s already obvious. There’s no need to ask, no need to talk, no need for him to contact her.

But that's a hard task to do when she’s the one calling him herself. After a few days of trying to contact him and him ignoring her messages and calls, guilt is killing him inside. Bomi didn’t do anything wrong to receive this kind of treatment, he’s her friend. A really close friend. And for him to feel the need to cut her off from his life makes him feel much worse.

“You’re pathetic,” Jongdae says out loud once he sees Baekhyun walking back and forth in his room, checking his phone from time to time. He proceeds to his bed ignoring Baekhyun who was struggling to get his words out. “Why are you here?”

“Well, I was having fun at first but I can’t take it anymore,” he answered with a small smile on his face.

Baekhyun looked at him confused, really confused, and not in the slightest bit amused with his friend’s statement. Having fun? What fun? “What are you talking about?”

Jongdae stood up, now sighing, and looks like it’s quite hard for him to tell the real situation at hand due the possibility of being punched in the face again.

“If you have nothing to say then don’t just barge in here just so you can ruin my mood,” Baekhyun spat. He’s been in a gloomy mood lately because of deliberately ignoring her calls and messages, so seeing Jongdae right now made him more frustrated.

Jongdae sighed again. Despite the annoyance in Baekhyun’s voice, he understands why he’s treating him like that. “Okay, just hear me out before you punch me in the face or something.”

“Why would I punch you in the face?” Baekhyun frowned. “Did you make Bbom cry again? Did you?” He asked, now worried about her.

The mention of her name made Jongdae flinch. Her name feels like thousand cuts in his skin. It’s been days since she said goodbye, yet her voice sounds so clear inside his head. Baekhyun did not understand his pained expression. Did they break up again? The voice in his head sounded so relieved, happy even, and this thought pricked his conscience with guilt. He was with just the thought of them not being together. Jongdae’s sadness and pain is his happiness.

Jongdae tried to smile. “She doesn’t love me anymore,” he muttered, his head down low.

Did Baekhyun hear it right? Or maybe he’s gone deaf.

“What did you just say?”

If he heard right, what kind of expression should he make?

“I told her that I still love her.” Jongdae looked at him directly. Now does he only notice how tired he looks. “Bomi told me she doesn’t anymore.” He smirked at Baek