This story is written on Kris Point of View (P.O.V)

It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. Tao called and said his was coming up. It was the third time he had come up to meet me that week. I carried his excuse of why would he came all the way here so i went to meet him at the nearest cafe. Tao stood there in front of the entrance alone looking around like a lost kid. His best friend, Lay had dopped him off. He looked weak and fragile under the harsh rain.

I walked up to him and said, " You should't have come" and stuffs like how we shouldn't be together. I know that was cruel but I had to do it.

The only word Tao utter was " I miss you gege" 

I shut him up coldly," Let's go. i'll take you home" 

He stood there waiting to share umbrella with me despide having one in his hand. "Open, your umbrella, let's go its pouring...unless you prefer getting wet"

He hummed, nodding meekly.

Unwillingly, he opened his umbrella and walked with me to my car. The drive was horribly silent but Tao spoke up, easing the awkwardness. He said that he had not taken dinner and suggest if we could stop somewhere nearby to eat.

Right away came a cold answer with a stoned heart, "No!"

Dissapointed, he told me to direct the car to train station. He said he would take the train back home.

Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrella's and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about.

We waited and waited, tao looked at me innocently.

Being alone together after so long i knew what he ment, his eyes conveyed a wistful longing for me which didn't go noticeable. I understood how he must have felt as he came all the way here in this crazy weather and to be treated like this. Tao you deserve someone better, im sorry for hurting you like this. With his soft dark brown pupil staring at me, i felt guilty and how much i wanted to hug him right away feeling him warmth against my body, wanted him to stay with me for the night.

But naah reality was just too cruel!                                                                                               

   ****

We were living in the same apartment, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, Zhang Yixing or know as Lay as short tao's best friend more alike brother from another mother, Kim Junmyeon or known as Suho my best man, we got along well.

The four of us would always eat dinner together in spide of the difference in courses we're studying. We watch movies and sometimes hang around together during semester breaks. We were more like a family, but i didnt know i would end up dating the mysterious panda boy. Maybe it was during last year of collage, leaving together for two years had brought us this far, we developed romantic feelings for each other.

After i graduated i went back home where by he stayed for a year to finish school, well no doubt Tao is one year younger. During that year, Tao would always take a train down to my place during his breaks. He seldom goes back to his hometown China to visit family but most of the time, he spends his holidays with me and thats how much we treasured our relationship.

Despite the distance.

         
*****   

We were walking along the road. Tao was in front of me and I was right behind him. It became a habit walking behind Tao since we started dating.

His umbrella had a broken spoke, he looked like a wounded soldier carrying a rusted rifle walking weakly. As I observed, Tao seemed immersed into  his own thoughts or whatever he was doing that he was drifting off the road and at one point he almost got hit by cars passing by.

My heart ached, I badly wanted to take him into my arms but with the love I have for him and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing but to watch him fall.

We continued walking as we passed by the park we used to go. I hesitated as this park contains a lot of memories of us together. I didn't want to hurt him more..but he asked for it.

He begged me saying " Lets go in just for awhile please, I promise to head back home right after this "

With his begging, my cold heart softened but I still had the cold y face and walked into the park. I sat on one of the benches there looking around with an annoyed face. All I want is to leave, it hurts to be here as memories of us together Will soon start to hunt me.

Tao walked towards the big oak tree and was searching for something. I knew what was he looking out for.

He was looking for a carving we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago.  As I could recall, it goes like " Kris gege and Tao tao was here, gege had tea and Tao was drinking hot choco. Hope Kris gege and Tao tao would always remember this wonderful day and will always love each other forever". He was looking around for quite some time just to return back with tears rolling down his cheek.

"Gege..I can't fi..nd it, it's..not there any..more" he sniff as tears polled in his eyelids, eyes were red and his face was pale. He looked weak unlike the usual crazy Panda attitude.

I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain flowing in my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before.

It hurts to see Tao cry even for the silliest thing for the matter but now his crying so bad and again I stood there watching my love cry. All I could do was to pretend I didn't care, "Can we go now??" I asked in a irratative tone. Tao was taken back with my tone but he obeyed.

I opened my black umbrella, Tao was standing there at the entrance of the park not wanting to leave. Hoping there was still a chance he murmured softly which I heard clearly, "You made up..the story of you and that girl didn't you? Saying it was  fixed..by your parents??

I remained silent, waiting for Tao to continue " I know I frustrate you at times but I promise I'll change....hmm...can't we...can't we start over..gege??" He asked with a little hope in his tone.

I didn't utter a word, fixing my gaze down and shook my head slightly."I'm sorry baby..I have to do this" I whispered to myself as we kept on walking towards the train station.

Tao walked forward, as if he was trying to distance himself from me. 

At that moment I knew I'm going to lose Tao. ~

« To be continued 

Total Words : 1185