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Jongin’s mother dropped by to visit the three of them in Seoul-Haeun, Jongin and Daeun. Haeun never felt the house full of suspense and silence before.

It was killing her.

Jongin’s mother were in his room together with Jongin, talking when all of a sudden Jongin shouted and an object dropped on the floor, startling Haeun.

Jongin came out stomping, fuming as he dragged Haeun out of the house.

Haeun didn’t know what was going on, but she knew it wasn’t a good time to ask, so she kept quiet throughout the entire journey when she was behind Jongin, cycling around the neighbourhood.

Jongin pedalled faster and faster, ignoring Haeun’s condition when he was fuming to even care about his surroundings.

“Jongin, today I came to tell you a piece of news,” his mother said.

“What news?”

“You’re getting married. In six months.”

Jongin looked at his mother and he blinked in shock. “Married?”

“I chose a girl. She’s kind, nice, and pretty too. You’ll love her,” she said and Jongin frowned. “But omma! It’s too sudden, and I don’t even know her! I’m not going to marry her,” he said adamantly.

“Jongin, be good. I had a hard time choosing a wife for you-“

“Omma! You know I only love Haeun, you know I will only marry her,” Jongin said, shooting up from his seat. “Omma, you know Haeun’s a nice girl too, why do you want me to marry another girl then?” he asked.

“It’s because I know Haeun, that’s why I want you to marry another girl,” she said. She stood up.

“Haeun has an illness. No one knows how long is she going to live. To put it in a bad way, she’s no different from a dying person,” she whispered.

He stared at her in shock. “Omma..”

“You can’t afford to carry this burden. I know I’m selfish, but it’s for your own good. Marriage is for life. If you marry Haeun and the next minute she’s gone, you will remain a widow forever,” she whispered, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Jongin, I don’t want you to be lonely for the rest of your life.”

He frowned. His mother made sense. But that doesn’t mean he agrees to what his mother does for him, finding a stranger for him to marry and not caring about his feelings.

He shrugged her hand off his shoulder and shoved everything on the table down. “Omma, no matter what, I’m not going to agree, nor am I going to do it,” he said. “I will only love Haeun, I will only marry Haeun!”

Haeun swallowed, her eyes stung from the wind that was blowing into her eyes and her arms around Jongin’s waist tightened.

He braked to a stop and he looked back. “Sorry.”

Haeun rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times. She shook her head and smiled. “It’s alright.”

She wanted to ask. She desperately wanted an answer from Jongin.

He usually isn’t that impulsive, nor rash. Most of the time, he would always be calm and clear minded. But this time, it wasn’t.

Jongin stood up and he turned his back on her, looking at the sea. He was silent.

Haeun got off the bicycle and hugged him from behind, keeping quiet.

He smiled and turned to face her.

He looked down at her lips and cupped her face, pressing his lips against her.

She closed her eyes and smiled then placed her small hands on his waist, pulling him closer.

After a while, they broke the kiss, and Haeun looked up at him. “Feeling better?” she asked.

Jongin nodded, and pecked her lips one more time. “Thank you.”

“Let’s go back, shall we?” Haeun said.

Haeun resisted the urge to ask. She rested her head on his back as Jongin went on a slower pace back to the house.

Haeun finally knew the answer after a week.

Jongin’s mother went to look for her when Jongin wasn’t at home.

She went to beg Haeun, begged her to persuade Jongin in agreeing to the marriage.

Haeun saw how desperate Jongin’s mother was. She saw those pitiful eyes that made her promised her Jongin would agree into the marriage. And also promised his mother, she won’t have any more feelings towards Jongin.

She understood Jongin’s mother’s intentions. She knew a mother would always want the best for her son, she wanted to protect her son from any danger or pain. She knew she would leave the world earlier than Jongin, and she didn’t want Jongin to experience the pain. She knew that she’s a sick woman, and she understood why his mother disapprove of them. She understood, truly.

“Jongin, I have to talk to you,” Haeun said after dinner. He got up from his seat and nodded. “Sure.”

“Let’s go outside.”

They walked outside of the house, taking a stroll at night. Haeun bit her lip and she stopped in a tracks. “Jongin, listen to your mother. Marry that girl,” she said.

His eyes rounded in shock. “My mother went to look for you? How could she!”

“It’s not your mother’s fault. And actually, I agree with what she has done,” she said. He looked at her in confusion. “What? Why?”

“I’m a burden. I’m a sick patient that already has one foot in my grave. I’m like, a timebomb. I can go off any minute and never wake up. Instead of being with a sick person, why can’t you find someone that is healthy and you can spend your life with?” she said, forcing out a smile.

He held her hands and looked into her eyes. “Didn’t you remember? I said, as long as we are together with each other for as long as we can, I already feel contented. I already feel I have been with you for my entire life,” he whispered, softening. “You promised me, when we were seven years old, we made a promise. You can’t break your promise. We promised to be together, forever and always.”

Haeun swallowed and she shook his hands off. “But I can’t be so selfish! I can’t let you be alone for the entire life! I rather be the one who will have to spend the entire life alone!” she cried. “It’s not fair to you, Jongin.”

She wiped her tears and cleared . “And now, you don’t have a choice anymore. Your mother is sick. Her last wish is to see you get married, get married and build a family,” she whispered.

That words pierced her heart so badly. Building a family without her. Ouch.

Jongin looked at her in shock. Those words pierced his heart too. He took in a deep breath shakily. “Do you really want me to marry a stranger that I don’t even know, and take her as my wife?” he asked. “If you want me to do it, I will. If you don’t want, I can leave this place with you, no one will find us,” he whispered.

Haeun was turning his back on him. Even though Jongin couldn’t see her face, he knew Haeun was crying.

Haeun gulped. He placed his future in her hands. *Don’t be selfish, Soo Haeun, you cannot be selfish. Think of Jongin, think of him when you are going to die the next minute. Be heartless. It’s the best thing you can do.*

“Yes, I want you to get married with the girl. It’s the only solution,” she said, wiping her tears before she looked back at him.

Jongin stared at her for a minute. Those tears just trickled down his cheeks, wondering how heartless Haeun was towards herself. It hurt him too.

He pressed his lips into a firm line and nodded. “Fine. If that is what you want. I guess, we broke the pinky promise,” he whispered.”Everything was just a dream. Everything that happened to us, wasn’t real,” he said and walked past her, leaving her in the cold isolated streets.

Haeun stared at the endless streets. She felt herself so dizzy. It wasn’t her illness relapsing for sure. She felt awful. She felt pain. She felt her heart so heavy and she could almost hear everything in her body. Her blood flowing, the beat of her heart pumping. She felt frozen.

And she thought, maybe that was the feeling of heartbroken.