HI SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN LIKE A YEAR FORGIVE ME WRITER'S BLOCK AND MY LIFE AND ALL GOT IN THE WAY

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(Meagan's POV)

It had been a week and the air was still thick between Jungkook and I and I literally wanted to die.  Every day was an anxious roller coaster of trying to get through dance practice without making too much eye contact and then sprinting home before I'd start crying, and anyone would see it.  

I wanted to mend our friendship so badly.  I felt terrible for ever letting things get to the point where I ignored his emotions and hurt his feelings.

My best friend, my everything, was gone and it hurt so much more than I thought it would.

After Jungkook's confession, I hated myself even more because all I did was notice things about him I had never seen before.  How he constantly fixed his bangs and how he made dorky faces when he was confused, and how his shirts were always a little too big and how he was always perfectly on time to class.  He made me nervous even when we were supposed to be "fighting" and I felt awful.  I should've been trying to fix things instead of letting my crush grow even bigger.  In fact, I should've been trying to kill the crush and not let it grow anymore.

I had spent so, so long on convincing myself that any emotions I had for him were just pure admiration and nothing else, and now I had real feelings for him way too late.

He probably doesn't even care about you anymore, my brain tormented me.  Shut up shut up shut up.

The whole "avoid Jungkook until things fix themselves because you're a small crybaby" plan had been going perfectly until our dance instructor decided to take my world and completely and utterly destroy it.

"A-a partner dance?"  I whispered, my voice not even sounding like my own.

"Yes that's right, and we'll be performing this at the showcase, so be sure to work hard on it!  I'll now be pairing you up, so don't even think about complaing!"  The instructor then began listing off couples one by one.  I had never prayed so hard in my life to not be with a certain person.  But of course, after all I had done for the stars, they decided not to allign how I wanted them too.

"And Meagan and Jungkook!"

Un freaking believable.

It wasn't like we had never danced together before, just now of all times really wasn't what I wanted.

I slowly turned to look behind me and there he was, just a few feet away, peering at me from over his phone with what I could swear was a small smile but I didn't want to give myself any sort of stupid false hope.  I shyly waved and he returned it and a part of my soul died that day.

 

(Jungkook's POV)

I'd spent days just thinking about how badly I had messed everything up.  I had been feeling this was for so long and I'd been wanting to share my feelings for so long but instead of confessing like a normal person I had to let my emotions get the best of me again and completely blow up.  Smooth.  And now I'm left here to pick up the pieces and try and fix things even a little bit before I have to go home.

I'm running out of time.

I'd been working on Meagan's gift for days and my hands were stained with purple and the circles under my eyes matched but I didn't care because this just had to work.  If it doesn't, I don't know what I'll do.  I just have to make things ok again...I have to.

 

(Meagan's POV)

"So um...we should...get started with the dance, huh?"  These were the first brilliant words I had said to him since our fight.  Way to get back on track, Meagan.  I internally facepalmed.  He nodded, and we began looking up dances online to get an idea of something we wanted to do.  We had a week to choreograph our own 30 second dance.  It wasn't that hard, but having to work with Jungkook made the task as difficult as humanly possible.  But it was nice at the same time; being in his presence in the dance room again almost reminded me of when we first met, and it made me smile.  I could've sworn I caught him looking at me out of the corner of my eye, but neither of us would mention that.

I looked down a bit and saw his hands, and they were covered with blues and purples.  My first thought was they were bruises and I had a miniture heart attack, my heart racing a mile a minute wondering what the hell could've happened to him.  But upon quick thinking I realized it was paint.  And without thinking I spoke to him again.

"Have you been working on your art again?"  It wasn't much, but it was enough.

"Yeah."  He answered shyly.  We stayed in silence again for a while, until he finally moved.  My heart was pounding as I realized what he was doing.  He was cautiously reaching for my bag, and he pulled out a black notebook; our notebook.  He wrote for a bit before passing the page to me.

/ Can I come over to your house tonight?  I know it's been a while and it's rude of me to ask, but I have something I want to give you.  Plus, we need to talk. /

I swear to god I felt tears come to my eyes and I hated myself for it.  But I just nodded and smiled.  

"Come at 8."  Was all I said.

 

Jungkook arrived in jeans and a hoodie and that stupid black beanie I loved so much and he looked so cute I wanted to cry.  He was carrying a grocery bag and I was dying to know what was inside.  He just dangled it above my head making fun of my height again.

I think my mom was happier to see him again than I was, as she wrapped him in a hug for 5 minutes crying "Jungkook my sweet other child where have you been?!"  I was going to have to have a serious talk with her one of these days.

We decided to go out back to lie in the grass and look at the sky like we had done so many times before.  He finally silently pushed the bag my way, and a note along with it.

"Open it."  He said in English.

I decided to open the gift first and read the note last.  With shaky hands I slowly pulled the contents of the bag out.  This time I really did cry.

It was a good-sized canvas with a beautiful painting of a girl.  It had a white background, but the girl was made out of a purple galaxy, accented with dozens of other colors and millions of twinkling stars.  In the bottom right-hand corner it read "Starry Eyes, J.J.K."  And I realized all too quickly with a racing heart that the girl was me.

"Why-why'd you do this?"  I turned to him with tears in my eyes and I didn't care about them at this point.

"I'm sorry."  Was all he said.  And then I hugged him and this time it wasn't nearly as awkward as our first hug had been.  This one was full of meaning and so much emotion.  I was so, so grateful for everything about him.

"Thank you, it's so beautiful."  I cried.

"Read it."  He said, motioning to the note, so I did as he said.

/ Meagan, I'm sorry things became the way they were.  I never intended to blow up on you like that.  I just liked you so much and I didn't know what to do about it and I'm sorry.  I hope you like this and it'll make it up to you at least a little bit.  I have to go back to Korea soon, and I didn't want to leave on bad terms, so I hope you can forgive me. -With love, Jungkook /

"Of course you're forgiven.  I'm sorry too.  For everything.  I shouldn't have been so dismissive to your feelings, and I should've told you how I felt sooner instead of running away."  I said. And at that moment it was just us and the universe.  I couldn't look at him though or else I'd literally start bawling.

"Your English writing has gotten so good, I'm so proud of you."  I added and he smiled my favorite smile in the world.

"I've been practicing a lot."  He said.  I beamed at that; nerd.

Then that idiot stood up and pulled me with him, and he began practicing our dance.  There was no music but that didn't matter.  The two of us had our own rhythm anyway.

 

 

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HI HI HI SORRY THIS IS SUCH TRASH

I was gonna completely abandon this story tbh but I was talking to Meagan about it and I just started a new BTS fic tonight so I was like fsduscksdhs I should just finish it so hERE WE ARE

Omg this is so horrible forgive me

Also next chapter is the end omg

<3