(Meagan's POV)

I had gotten to the point in my relationship with Jungkook (if you could even call it that) that I didn't care about changing into something nice for him to come over.  He had seen me at my absolute worst before at dance practice.  Besides there was no need to impress him, it's not like we had feelings for each other.

After dance class that day, Jungkook walked home with me.  We normally don't talk on the way there since it's such a short walk, and the whole language barrier is a problem too.  Jungkook had his earbuds in and his music was loud enough for me to hear as he walked slightly ahead of me.  Today the air felt thick and it felt like something was off.  Like something was very, very wrong.

When we arrived inside my house, I noticed no one else was home.  He threw his bag down on the ground, and when I closed the door he sighed.

"Jungkook?"  I asked him cautiously.  He wouldn't turn to face me.  After a long pause, he took a deep breath and spoke. 

"I'm tired of this."  He said in almost perfect English.  My eyes went wide and I heard his voice break.

"I don't understand."  I said panicking.  He's never ever shown this form of emotion to me before and it scared me to death. Don't cry don't cry don't cry.

He grew frantic.  He ripped our notebook and his dictionary out of my backpack and wrote.  He wrote for what seemed like an eternity.  As I watched him, all I saw were hands flying in a blur, pages swirling around his head, and colors of ink smearing the atmosphere.  I felt dizzy and I was scared.  Was he angry with me?

What did I ever do?

Finally, with his chest heaving, he the papers my way.  My shaking hands lifted them up to read them.  His English writing still wasn't the best, but it was enough to get the point across.

/ I've been wanting to tell you this for so long.  But you never noticed how I felt.  I think I like you, I don't know.  You're different and I always want to be around you.  But you always always always push me away.  It hurts.  When people ask if we're together, you deny it so suddenly.  It hurts and I don't know why.  I don't want you to deny those things.  It hurts me.  It's like you're disgusted by the idea of dating me and I don't know why that upsets me /

Tears rushed to my eyes.

So that was how he felt.  After all this time.

"Jun-Jungkook."  Was all I could manage to say.  My voice was quiet and sounded shaky; I almost didn't recognize myself talking.  He sat on the couch and wouldn't look at me.

"I'm.  So sorry."  I expected him to run away, or to get angry and storm out.  I was waiting for him to stand up and curse at me.  Something.  But instead, he just buried his face in his hands.  He didn't cry, but he just sat there for the longest time, breathing heavily.  I silently crept down and took his arms, slowly removing his hands from his face.  When he looked at me, his face was red and his eyes were quivering.  I had never seen him like this.  And it wasn't the kind of blush where he was being his usual shy self.  It was pure and total humiliation; like he was ashamed he had just admitted that to me.

"Jungkook listen to me.  I don't care if you don't understand anything I say; just listen."  He nodded his head in response.

"I understand how you feel.  This whole time, I didn't know how the hell I felt towards you.  At first, I just thought you were cute and kind of weird and awkward but I liked you as a friend.  I never expected us to grow so close.  All of a sudden, I started feeling differently toward you.  I didn't know it was a crush, but all I knew was every time we hung out I would get these stupid butterflies and you made me blush and I hated it."  I laughed weakly.  "I hated it mainly because I was scared.  I almost didn't want those feelings to be there because I don't know how to handle my emotions.  I think over time I figured out myself how I felt but I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to mess up our friendship.  I'm sorry I should have told you everything sooner.  And I shouldn't push you away all the time and I'm so sorry for ever hurting you.  My god, I am so so sorry."  My voice broke and tears rushed to my eyes.  Don't cry don't cry don't cry.

Suddenly, Jungkook leaned foward and hugged me.  We had never hugged before.  I barely wrapped my arms around him due to the shock, but he still stayed like that, for a long time.

"I understood everything."  He said in English.  His voice cracked and so did my heart.

"I should go."  He said again.

"I understand.  I'm sorry."

Jungkook stood up, collected his things, and left.  I wasn't sure if that would be the last time I would ever speak to him again, but something told me things weren't going to be the same between us anymore.

And I was so scared.

I felt like I had just messed everything up in one fell swoop.  I couldn't believe that just like that, my best friend, my biggest supporter, my everything...he was just gone.  And then I did something that I hadn't done in a long time.  I cried.  And I sat in that spot and cried until my mom came home, and I pasted on a fake smile.  I just wished puffy eyes weren't so obvious.

(Jungkook's POV)

I walked home from Meagan's house slowly.  What had I just done?  That wasn't the right time or place to tell her how I felt.  The plan was to not confess at all, ever.  But I stupidly let my emotions get the best of me again.  I always let that happen and I hated it.

Meagan had been the first person I had ever truly felt differently towards.  I wasn't even sure if it was really a crush, since I had never liked someone before and I had never had anyone like me.  Sure, there were the fans that constantly told me they loved me.  But I had never had a relationship with a girl like that before.

And it was nice.

There was no paparazzi to worry about and we didn't have to sneak around.  A few times, I thought about what it would be like to actually call my bond with her a relationship.  Like a real relationship.  But I wasn't good with feelings, so I shoved them down and locked them away.

On the way home, I managed to not cry, no matter how badly I wanted to I kept it in.  Arriving at my house, I laid down on my mattress and sighed with a heavy heart.

I can't fix this.

But I could try.  And I sure as hell wanted to try.  I couldn't let her go, not like this.  I walked to my closet where I kept most of my art supplies, and pulled out a blank canvas.

"I'm going to make you something."

----

WHHAATT JUNGKOOK'S POV??? FINALLY RIGHT?!

ALSO HE FINALLY CONFESSED!!!! WOOOOO

Anyway sorry for the suuuper long chapter.  Also sorry this was probably really sad and way too dramatic but I've been planning this interaction for a while sO IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN EVENTUALLY!!

Quick note: Jungkook's POV is supposed to be like his inner thoughts so obviously they're in Korean but I'm just typing everything in English, I hope that makes sense.  And also when he wrote the long confession letter, obviously I wrote that in fluent English, but irl it probably wasn't that good haha so just use your imagination.

Unfortunately, the story is nearing its end :( The next few chapters will be it.  This was originally supposed to be a super dramatic one-shot that I decided to elaborate on, so it probably won't go on for much longer.  BUT I wanted to thank everyone who has read it this far (besides Meagan lol) and to everyone who has subscribed!!!  I can't believe so many people have read this haha.  But thank you so much you're all the best! <3