(1090 words of the uniest quality)

it takes 2 chocolate milkshakes and a large mcdonalds fries to realise that “stop acting like a goddamn ” doesn’t motivate a person who is in reality a to go into a shop for the first time in their life. all the factors are against sunggyu right now, literally everything is a sign that sunggyu should not go into the shop across the street. he’s staring at the inconspicuous sign that advertises in spicy-red bold letters hanging from the side of the front door of the shop.

it’s lunch time and his colleagues are probably somewhere nearby, maybe at the mcdonalds a few blocks over he had just left. but the damn shop closes at 7pm, the same time sunggyu gets off work so he’ll never make it in time to buy dongwoo’s birthday present. he could always buy something else, like a nice safe pokemon soft toy or something. but sunggyu knows in the depths of his nervous stomach that dongwoo will love a toy since he’s always talking about getting one but then howon will walk over and then all the research dongwoo has done on toys will melt into a puddle of drool on his tongue, all for howon. it’s disgusting, and sunggyu didn’t have to know what dongwoo would do to howon, but dongwoo is also one of sunggyu’s best friends so really, it’s either a toy or 100 million won in a red packet.

so sunggyu pulls himself together and marches across the street and all the way into the shop, not even stopping when he takes his first step in. he continues marching till he reaches the very back of the shop, heart thudding in both nervousness and embarrassment. he needs to keep moving and hurry the hell up. moving about will lower chances of people looking in and catching him.

the problem is sunggyu doesn’t actually know what to get, so he has to march down every shelf, and he does so quickly, keeping to his keep on moving tactic. and that creates another problem because he can’t see or read anything so he doesn’t actually know what he’s passing by. he grunts in frustration and switches to plan b - just duck into a squat and study the stuff on the lower shelves.

now that sunggyu is on a lower eye level and is sure nobody from outside can see him, he takes the chance to look around the shop, unfairly labelling every piece of decor tacky and gross. even the black and dark purple wall colours are tacky and gross. ugh the tacky and gross red carpeting of the floor. it feels like a library, except dirtier.

“um, may i help you?”

sunggyu panics, his body jumping so hard, he drops the two boxes he was comparing. he quickly picks them up and shoves them back into their (wrong) placements on the shelf. he stands and then starts walking immediately. he beckons for the shop employee to follow, which he does in confusion.

“what’s good for a gay couple?” sunggyu asks, in a whisper even though they’re the only ones in the shop.

to sunggyu’s surprise, the shop employee blooms into a shade of red brighter than the carpet. he’s a young man in his early twenties, cute haircut and wearing a cute graphic t shirt. essentially, he looks too cute and too inexperienced to be working at a high end shop. his nametag reads, woohyun.

“um,” woohyun says. “i actually work at the back, i- i stack products. i’m just watching the shop for my colleagues, who have gone out for lunch. could you wait for them to-”

“no! i don’t have time!” sunggyu protests. “aren’t you familiar with the products?”

“i- i-” woohyun is even more flustered than sunggyu, and it’s making sunggyu even more flustered. “you need to be safe with this kind of stuff, i don’t think-”

“how about you just pick something you would use?”

plan b is going to . accidentally ually harassing a young boy working at a shop isn’t in plan b. woohyun is so red, he looks like he’s going to faint from all the blood rushing to his cheeks. but he doesn’t stop walking round the shop, keeping in stride with sunggyu’s longer legs. he nervously checks the shelves as they make their rounds. and then he shoots out and grabs a box off the shelf near the cashier counter. he hands it to sunggyu.

the box is small and light and pink in colour. the curvy playful font on the box flirts, strawberry flavoured lube.

“this isn’t even a toy!” sunggyu hisses, throwing the box at woohyun’s head.

“you asked me what i would use!” woohyun exclaims as the box bounces off his head. it lands right in their path. they’re walking too fast for woohyun to stop, so he just gives a yelp and throws himself off-course, crashing into sunggyu and flattening the man against the magazine rack. they groan in pain as the magazines avalanche around them in piles.

“i’m going to file a complaint against you.” sunggyu grumbles.

“i can sue you for ual harassment.” woohyun counters back.

“woohyun, when i said help the customers, i didn’t mean it like that.”

woohyun gasps and shoots to his feet, stepping on a few magazines and sunggyu’s fingers. sunggyu yelps in pain and then punches woohyun’s knee when woohyun leaps off his hand like it’s molten lava. he quickly helps sunggyu up.

“your employee !” sunggyu tells the manager, all the while latching on to said employee because his waist hurts a little and he needs support to stand.

the manager, who has a take-away bag of mcdonalds in his hand, laughs as if sunggyu is joking. “he usually works at the back, he doesn’t know anything about this stuff. woohyun, clean up this mess then go have your lunch.” he hands woohyun the bag of mcdonalds. “how may i help you, sir?”

woohyun finally relents his grip around sunggyu’s waist and with a last embarrassed look cast at sunggyu, he brings the bag of food to the backroom. sunggyu rubs his elbow as he’s led away by the manager.

“well, first of all,” sunggyu mumbles. “how much is this?” he takes a box of strawberry-flavoured lube off the shelf. at that moment, woohyun comes out from the backroom and sees the box in sunggyu’s hand and they both blush like goddamn s.

- fin -

my askfm