I opened my eyes to an irritating silence. The TV was still on, but nothing but static was on the screen, a little square at the bottom said ‘mute’ so that explained the lack of noise. I looked down at my iPhone which was now dead. The silence in the room was killing me, I couldn’t take it, it’s like my ears were burning away. I got up – perhaps a bit too fast, because my head spun wildly, but I ignored it – and ran across the living room and into my room, grabbed my carryon bag that was still lying on top of the bed next to mine and dug through it until I found my charger.

I breezed back into the living room and to the kitchen, found an outlet and plugged everything in. I had to wait about fifteen minutes before the damn thing would turn back on, and the still silent room was making me want to rip out my hair. I tapped my foot trying to think of a way to get some noise in here. There was no way I was going to go find the remote to un-mute the TV. My finger nails dug into my crossed arms as I screamed in exasperation.

I ripped open the cupboards until I found my savior; in one cupboard were three boxes of buttered popcorn. I snatched one out tore it open and dug out a folded bag. I walked over to the other side of the room opened the microwave and threw the bag in, slammed the door shut, pressed ‘3’ then ‘start’. As the steady buzz of the microwave turning and the small sounds of the kernels popping filled the room, I relaxed slightly.

I took advantage of the fact I could now think to look at my surroundings. I noticed then that the room was darker than before. The big window in the living room was now a dark grey, I still couldn’t see out of it clearly. Taemin and Jinki’s room door was shut, so assumed they were sleeping… how they could still sleep after I screamed so loud I didn’t know. The only light sources in the entire hotel room were the small wall sconces. I walked over to the stove and turned its light on as well. It suddenly felt very cold and lonely in the room, and I was hoping more light would help it feel more comfy.

It was still too dark so I ran over into the living room again and the reading lamps all over the room, including the big standing one in the corner. I felt a bit better being able to see everything in a warm yellow tint, more so than in the bright white one I had dealt with all day.

It took me a minute to realize that the microwave was no longer making a steady buzz but ragged beeps signaling that my three minutes were up. I walked back into the room, grabbing the opened box of popcorn as I went. I opened the microwave and chucked the bag across the room, I heard it hit the wall and bounced onto the floor. I didn’t even care enough to look and see if it’d broken open. I threw in another bag and hit ‘start’ again.

“Hungry?” I heard from behind me. I turned to see a confused Jinki picking up a bag of unopened – and un-ripped – popcorn on the floor. He held it up in question.

“I need noise.” I replied surprisingly quietly. I looked down at my sock-covered feet. And let out a sigh. I heard another set of footsteps enter the room, and I looked up to see Taemin stumble in, rubbing his tired eyes.

“Hyung, how are you? Do you feel better?” he asked, and a half-cheery-half-tired-as-hell voice. I nodded, though I didn’t feel mch better.

“I’m so sorry for my outburst guys, I guess… I just couldn’t deal with the information being given to me.”

“Don’t worry about it hyung.” Taemin said with a smile, I looked over to see Jinki stuffing his face with the popcorn I’d just popped. I chuckled without a smile. I took a lot of effort to make any noise right now, a smile was asking too much.

“Hyung, want to get that thing to stop beeping?” Taemin said nodding towards the microwave.

“Oh.” Is all I said as I turned around and removed the second bag chucking it over my shoulder again. I looked over at my iPhone and decided I gave it enough time. I slammed the door to the microwave shut, leaned over ripped the plug of my charger out of the wall, and walked out of the room. I remember there being a plug by the big standing lamp in the living room.

I passed the couch as I entered the room, grabbing one of the pillows lying on top of it. I threw it to the corner of the room by the lamp – that was also by the window. I look at the window one more time and suddenly snapped. I walked back over to the couch taking another pillow off of it, suddenly wishing it was a brick or something. I wound my arm back and shrieked at the top of my lungs as I threw at the window. It made an unsatisfying plop sound when it hit it. I screamed again and threw another pillow. I was all worked up when I turned around to find a scared looking Taemin and a shocked-mouth-full-of-popcorn Jinki. I looked away and stomped over to my corner, looked at the window and huffed out an irritated sigh. I closed the blind as fast I could and slump against the wall.

I didn’t look back over at the other two as I plugged in my iPhone and stuck in my head phones once more. I turned it on and pressed whatever song I saw first. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes, letting the sound of 2NE1’s ‘It Hurts (slow)’ fill my ears, soon the dancing colors on the back of my eye lids melted away into a comforting darkness.