jinyoung felt like alice, like he was falling down the rabbit hole, not knowing where he’d end up. he swung his arms frantically, scrambling to escape the dark abyss he was in, but his movements only made him fall faster. as he fell, images flashed in front of his eyes, some of which he didn’t recognise. jinyoung felt something in him burst and he choked, eyes watering slightly. he suddenly felt tired, burdened, years of expectations and stress weighing his shoulders down, pushing him down further the hollow passage he was drowning in. he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, choosing to let go for once instead of always trying to hold on.

the weight was off his shoulders and jinyoung felt light, he was breathing easily and his head was empty. it felt good, doing this for the first time in forever. he let out a satisfied sigh and grinned.

“oof!” jinyoung yelped in surprise. the surface was wet with small blades and he opened one eye. it was grassy, muddy but the sun was bright and glaring. jinyoung squinted as his eyes met with the sun’s rays. a shadow came over his face and gave his eyes shade from the sun.

“jirongie! haha, are you okay?” a voice said laughing, while offering his small hand out to jinyoung. jinyoung scrunched his brows together at the nickname. it did sound fairly familiar but nothing clicked in his mind. he reached out for the hand with much gratefulness, only to realised that he couldn’t hold it. he tried again, trying for a better grip this time but his hand had passed through the tiny hand. his eyes widened in shock as he brought his hand closer to his face, turning his hand in awe. he attempted to clasp his hands together, only to have them pass through each other. jinyoung giggled, entertained by this new find. his eyes crinkled as he shook with laughter, childish joy radiating from his grown body.

“ya! are you not going to take my hand?” the voice squeaked angrily. jinyoung looked up to the boy in shock. he had almost forgot that he was there. the boy offered his hand again frustratedly, stomping his feet in the process. jinyoung looked closely at the boy. he had straight black hair that fell past his eyes and broad shoulders.

a burst of giggles was heard and jinyoung witnessed a small boy rising from his own body. his eyes again widened, obviously not knowing what was happening or where he was. the boy turned around and looked at jinyoung. jinyoung choked when he saw the face of the younger boy, it was him.

the boy brushed his pants for dirt and turned back to face the first boy. “keke, nope.” and stuck his tongue out. the first boy scowled and stomped away. as soon as the second boy saw him walk away, he called out to him.

“ya! im jaebum!” jinyoung froze. im jaebum? he reached out for the boy but his hand passed through the boy’s small body and jinyoung immediately knew what he was. a ghost, he was invisible to anyone in this world, dimension whatever you would call it. it was obvious from the way young jinyoung looked at him, it was as if he could see through him. his hand would pass through both boys as well, which only confirmed jinyoung’s conclusion; he was a ghost here.

jinyoung realised he was still lying on the moist grass, like how landed when he fell. he sat up slowly and watched as his younger self played with jaebum’s younger self. it was weird, seeing himself from a different angle, a different age, a different maturity. the two boys eventually came back to where jinyoung was. they sat down on the grass and leaned on each other with their backs against the other. they sat close enough to jinyoung to allow him to listen in on their conversations.

“you shouldn’t have approached me,” jaebum said sadly as another kid walked pass them, sending the pair dirty looks. young jinyoung nudged jaebum’s elbow, “don’t say that! i don’t ever regret talking to you!” jaebum’s shoulders sagged even more and he sighed sadly.

“but you’re losing all your friends after you stuck with me,” jaebum’s eyes watered and he sniffed. “i’m the kid heaven hates, no bonds no soulmates.” by this time, young jinyoung had already turned his body to face jaebum’s slouched back. he raised his arm and whacked jaebum’s head down hard. the other boy spun around quickly after feeling the impact of jinyoung’s hit and sent him a questioning look.

“idiot, you don’t even know how to write.” jinyoung rolled his eyes. jaebum huffed and slapped jinyoung’s shoulder playfully. “then why don’t you teach me?”

“hmm,” young jinyoung posed thoughtfully. “next time maybe, haha!” to which jaebum pouted cutely, although the watching jinyoung was sure it wasn’t supposed to appear as cute as it had.

“you always tell me next time, but the next time never comes!” jaebum said quietly. young jinyoung nudged jaebum’s elbow again, this time softer and slightly playful.

“that’s because i have forever with you! you’ll stay with me forever right? i won’t take no for an answer!” jinyoung eyed jaebum carefully. young jaebum rolled his eyes, “i wasn’t going to say no anyway.” they shared eye contact and giggled together before jinyoung stuck out his pinky finger and wagged it in jaebum’s face.

“promise?” jaebum nodded eagerly.

“promise!” and they pinky promised that day, under the warm sun and green trees, with jinyoung to bear witness of their vow. he sighed happily as he stretched his back to lean against the tree he was taking cover under.

“what innocence,” jinyoung said out loud, knowing that no one would hear him anyway. he was invisible, after all. he sat back and crossed his arms as he looked around, absorbing the serenity of his past.

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