005
CHAPTER FIVE

---

“What the hell?” My head turns to Eunna’s direction abruptly and I stare at her with widened eyes. “You’re not making this up, aren’t you?”

She shakes her head.

“Pretty hard to believe, isn’t it?”

* * *

 

“So,” Eunna finally breaks the silence between us that had sprung from my apparent mentioning of “taboo” person Lu Han. Inwardly, I am bowing down to the Gods. Silence is one of the things I’ve gotten used to after living alone for all these years, but this kind of silence is a painful kind of silence– the worst kind.The fact that Park Eunna sits at the center of all this nothing is what scares me the most. It freaks me out when acts out of her character. So I am glad; because for the past minutes, Eunna and I have been sitting on our respective desks doing our homework and no one has spoken a word since we got here.

 

“You wanted to know,” she swallows hard, “about Lu Han and I, right?” The way she says his name is so peculiar, I can’t tell what she feels about him. It’s like she’s hurt and disgusted and happy at the same time. And I keep wondering why, the curiosity inside me bubbling as the minutes pass us by. Now I was about to get some answers.

 

“Yeah,” I reply nonchalantly as I pretend to be re-checking my Algebra homework.

 

“Okay,” she breathes the word out instead of saying it. “I trust you, Haneul.”

 

She makes me drop my pen next to the book and turn around. “But, I know you aren’t telling me everything either… You have that look in your eyes. The look that says you’re hiding something.”

 

Something clicks as I snap my head back to look her in the eye.

 

For the first time in years, I feel like telling her who I really am. It’s just like before. When I first escaped out of China, I wanted people to know the real me. But that wasn’t really possible, and it was hard hiding who I am and changing what I was. But now, after all that time of trying, I feel it. I want to tell her.

 

Because she trusts me, and I've wanted someone to for so long now.

 

And as far as I can remember, I've also been searching for someone to place my trust in.

 

That person just might be her.

 

“Except,” she continues. “Your look… I think you’re hiding way more than I am.”

 

I want to laugh only because she's right, but I give her no answer.

 

Eunna cracks a smile to lighten up the heavy air around us. “So, I’ll tell you…only you, everything about me. But you’re going to tell me the truth about you, as well. Okay?”

 

I don’t know what I said or did. I don’t remember.

 

But for some reason, I ended up agreeing to her condition.

 

And she began.

 

“Luhan and I…”

 

** *

 

“Pretty hard to believe, isn’t it?” she says.

 

Indeed it was.

 

I try to process the words she had whispered for only my ears to hear a few seconds ago. My mouth was hanging open and I looked at her with eyes filled with surprise. Itseemed as though my reaction to her story was comic to her, but I don’t mind that. It was too big a revelation.

 

It almost trumps my secret life story. Almost.

 

“Luhan and I…were engaged.”

 

No way. I want to say, but I can’t find my voice.

 

“It’s true,” she continues. “I didn’t know about it- wait. Let me start from the beginning.”

 

She draws in a deep breath as she tucks her hair behind her ears. And just like that she spills it all out.

 

According to Eunna, Luhan was her childhood friend. He was her only long-lasting friend, because as a chaebol she didn’t get many opportunities to gain real friends. “People like us don’t have friends. We have connections,” was what her dad told her whenever she cried about it. She hated her father and it had become especially hard because her mother was always away on trips to other countries (because of the work her husband made her do.) The sole person she found comfort in was gone like that, the only real parent she knew taken away.

 

For some reason, her father also kept her older brother from her. Even then, he would sneak into her room at night and read her bedtime stories, which is why she loved him so much. The empty, prison-like house she lived in Shanghai was no longer just whenever she reminded herself she had those moments to hold onto, to look forward to.

 

Soon he stopped coming into her room at night. She never knew why but their relationship didn’t change, she just felt there was less of him.

 

“Then suddenly he was gone as well.” her fists balled up on her sides as she said it. And she looked me in the eye. “Father had told me he had run away.”

 

I couldn’t react. I couldn’t say anything. Maybe it was because I didn’t know what to say. I never knew.

 

“I was so angry,” her voice shook. “All I could think about at the time was why the didn’t he take me with him? He knew how much I hated that place. I told him about it every time I had the chance. And he told me it would get better…somehow.”

 

Eunna sighs, shaking of the thoughts of anger at the brother she loved very much so. The way her eyes changed as she did gave me clues she would still give anything in the world to have him back.

 

She pauses a bit before continuing.  “Anyway, I was alone for some time. Until Lu Han came along.”

 

Lu Han.

 

There it was again- the way she said his name. There was some sort of something you could hear in tone in her voice that could not go unnoticed by me. It was the way the words flowed from , smooth and jagged at the same time. Bittersweet.

 

“Lu Han was my only real friend. We played together everyday, because his parents often came over to discuss things with my father. And If I’m going to be honest…Haneul,” she tilts her head to look at the ceiling as she runs a hand through her perfect black locks. Her eyes were suddenly filling up with luster, almost as if she was in paradise again, and she smiled.

 

“I was really in love with him.”

 

I clasped my hand over my mouth before gasping, Eunna’s only reply to my reaction is a chuckle.

 

“Anyway,” she said. “We were like that for a while. Happy and stuff. I don’t know if he ever knew…But anyway, the day of the family dinner came.” She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “It was hardly a family. Mom wasn’t there, and neither was oppa… So it was just me, dad, Luhan and his parents. And you know what they did? They announced that they have formally accepted MY proposal to marry their son! it. I remember looking at Luhan with so much shock and him looking away as if it was nothing!”

 

Another sharp draw of air and a scoff- as if she was still utterly shocked that whatever did happen actually did happen, as if she still couldn't believe it. There were tears pooling in her eyes, but I knew Eunna wouldn't cry over something like this. I look at her, giving her time to take a two-second break, and then she blinks away the tears in her eyes. The sadness and frustration, however, remained evident in her expression and body language.

 

“I thought…he was on my side… He knows how much I hate being controlled…” Eunna in another deep breath before she continues. “I had no choice but to agree, because I thought I would come to accept it over time… because the groom was someone I was close to.”

 

She bit her lip. “But no, I couldn’t. After that stupid announcement, things between me and Luhan changed. It was like we became strangers. I feel like I couldn’t breathe again. I thought I would lose it in that house… "

 

Sheshakes her head. I guess now I know why she so strongly claims  to detest the male species. "My dad.My brother.My best friend. All of them are complete s. Illogical, I know.”

 

She laughs as if she was mocking her past self, but her face straightens quickly. “So I made a decision. On the day of the family dinner discussing the initial wedding plans, I packed my bags and ordered my maids to hire a car and place my things outside the gates. That night I would get out.”

 

She walks over to my bed and drops down on it. “It was the best ing decision I’ve ever made. Because on the night of that dinner, I told them everything I felt. I said they were nothing but jailguards and I was a prisoner. I was breaking free. And I told my dad he could go himself!” She let out a loud laugh, and strangely, this made me chuckle as well. “I didn’t even look back at Luhan.”

 

She sits up on the bed and meets my gaze. “So now here I am. And imagine the shock when saw that guy here in Korea. Like, what is he even doing here?”

 

I raise my eyebrow. What ishe doing here?

 

She stands up and gets back to her desk. “Whew. God, thanks for that. I feel like a free bird now,” she laughs that Eunna laugh and the expression on her face tells me she’s back to normal. And I smile, because she doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that I just sort-of-but-didn’t force her to tell me her secrets.

 

“Your turn,” she winks.

 

Right.

 

I completely forgot.

 

* * *

 

I told Eunna everything, about being based in Beijing, to which she reacted “I wish our parents met, maybe we would’ve become friends earlier,” which was true. It makes me kind of glad to think that Eunna and I were meant to be. Two Korean girls who grew up in China not knowing any real family. The difference between Park Eunna and I, however, is that she is stronger than me. She is carefree, not careless. She is free.

 

She motions for me to continue on, so I tell her about the death of my mother and what kind of person my sad excuse for a father was. Eunna stood up to high five me on that won, saying she knew exactly what I meant. Then I told her about the letter, and my mother’s connections with the people I stayed in in Japan and in the States, as well as her relationship with Kris’s mother.

 

“,” was what she said when I finished my story.

 

“Oh my god,JungHaneul-  or should I use your other name?” she winks and my eyes widen.  I don’t know if it’s because I was never used to being called by my real name, or if it was because I purposely didn’t want her to mention that name, because I was trying to hide the real me.

 

“Don’t call me that,” I sigh. “It reminds me of that man…”

 

She laughs. “Right, sorry. But wow…” Eunna’s turns back to her homework as she picks up her pen, but I can feel her full attention focused on me. “Aren’t you ever afraid, though?” she starts. It wasaquestion that I saw coming.

 

“That he’ll find me?” I try to laugh it off. “All the damn time. Like, why do you think I changed my name?”

 

“You should use your Chinese name. It makes it more believable that you and Kris are brother and sister...or maybe, your english name.”

 

I tell her I hate my Chinese name. I can’t even pronounce it properly, so I pose as Kris’s half-Korean cousin who came from the States and is parentless. No one cares about where my parents are anyway. Everyone seems to think I’m his sister, though. Didn’t they notice we don’t even have the same last names? And I like Haneul. It was the only thing I took with me everyday that had my mother’s memory in it. She loved that name. Besides I’m pretty sure the name in my birth certificate is my dad’s last name. I don’t want anything to do with him.

 

“It’s not like I’m the only person going by the name Jung Haneul in the entire country,” I scoff. “Good luck to him.”

 

Eunna voices her agreement and we dive into the silence once more, but that doesn’t last for long because she speaks after a while, a gentle smile on her face.

 

“I had no idea we were this much alike…we could be like sisters! I’ll change my name to Jung Eunna! Or Maybe we could both be Wu and pose as Kris’s sisters…”

 

And I laugh, not just because her joke was kind of funny, but because I was happy.

 

For the first time, someone knows who I am.

 

At least, if I die in this world known for a person who I was not, she would know who I really was.

 

For the first time in my life, someone knows me. And it feels good just to know.

 

“By the way,” Eunna voices another question, and breaks my train of thought.  “What about the Minhyuk dude? Didn’t you say he wrote on your post-it.”

 

I nod. “It’s so weird. I’m just gonna forget it, unless he starts doing things…”

 

“Things?” a naughty smile forms on her features.

 

“Yea- wait!” I stand up and drop my pen on the table. “Yah! Park Eunna! You erted little-“ She laughs and I take a piece of crumpled paper and throw it in her direction.

 

“Hey I didn’t say anything~”she sings.

 

Just then, I could feel something vibrating in my pocket. I realize that I haven’t touched my phone since we got here, so I take it out and take the call.

 

“What?” I say. Guess who it is.

 

“Can you come down? I have a question!” Park Chanyeol says brightly. I can picture his familiar toothy smile and his eyes lighting up, the sunshine in his voice pouring out of the receiver.

 

“Can’t you ask it here?” I hint that I’m annoyed, because to be honest we aren’t really all that close.

 

“Please?” he pouts… at least, I picture him doing that. “Dinner’s on me.”

 

“What kind of important question is this that it requires me to go out to dinner with you?” I snap back. “Just tell me now.”

 

I can see Eunna laughing through my peripheral.

 

“What?” I mouth. She shakes her head and pretends to turn around to do her homework.

 

“Hello? Hello?”

 

I almost forget Chanyeol is on the line.

 

“Yeah? Hello?”

 

I can hear him clear his throat. “There you are. Be in front of the café in ten minutes. You like Chinese?”

 

“Whatever.” I am Chinese. Kind of. I mean, I lived there for a while.

 

“Chinese it is. See you there!”

 

The line goes dead, and I sigh. I guess I’m going out tonight.

 

“Who was that?” Eunna says, although I am fully aware that she probably knows who I was talking to.

 

“Chanyeol-sshi,” I say flatly as I head to my closet and pull out a black skater skirt and a mint green longsleeved top.

 

“I’ll do your hair!” Eunna claps excitedly, suddenly appearing behind me as she compliments my choice of outfit. “Simple but not tacky. Doesn’t look like you’re trying too hard,” was what she said.

 

She does end up doing my hair anyway, while she pesters me about what went on with Chanyeol and I at the club. I keep my sentences short, telling her all we did is dance a little but she kept pushing me. Eunna always knows when I’m not telling her the full details, but she doesn’t pry that much when she knows I can’t talk about it.

 

“You seem to be awfully pissed off by Yeol,” she giggles. “Don’t tell me you haven’t forgotten what he did? I mean he bought you more coffee didn’t he? It even came with a love letter.”

 

I scoff. “That was hardly a love letter, Eun. And I’m not pissed at him!”

 

“Really…”

 

Her eyebrows raise as she places on a bit of hairspray and the finishing touches on the updo. She always did a pretty good job styling me.

 

“The more you hate, the more you love,” she teases.

 

I roll my eyes playfully and grab my purse. “I’ll be back when I’m back,” I sigh.

 

“Have fun!” she says as she pushes me out the door herself. This girl is always way more excited than I am.

 

** *

 

Sure enough, Park Chanyeol, in all his annoyingness, arrives in his car minutes later. It was the same car he had used to “escape” from me on the first day we met each other in the coffee shop. He smilesimmediately when he sees me (although, I don’t  think I should be flattered, because I bet he does that to everyone) and he opens the passenger door for me. I step into the vehicle reluctantly. I don't even know why I'm getting in, I thought he just had a question, but my body moves by itself as I do this. Later,I stumble upon the realization that I don’t really feel comfortable in the car of a man I barely know. I don’t even remember why I said yes to this guy in the first place.

 

Oh but wait, I didn’t say yes.

 

I can only sigh when he gets in the driver’s seat and puts his seatbelt on before locking the doors and starting the engine. I look–more like glower– at him,but my eyes soften a bit when I see how handsome he looks in the tight-fitting maroon v-neck shirt he was wearing. It was paired with black skinny jeans and a pair of Jordans. Of course, this look would not be his look without a cap. Today, he wore a black cap with the word “wolf” embroidered in bold white on the front.

 

“What were you gonna ask?” I say as I look away.

 

He only replies with a laugh as he starts the engine. Later, he turns the radio on. “Man, you gotta learn how to chill for a sec.”
 

 

 

 

---

a/n: hi guys! forgive me for the late update. i just couldn't pinpoint what was off about this as i edited it. lol. maybe when i figure it out, i'll go back. anyway, oh my god. I'M SORRY LOL. I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO UNHIDE THE PROLOGUE that I hid when I removed the layout. mian, new readers. sobs. kkk. that's all~ see you~ ( pstd. 150629 )