001
CHAPTER ONE

How much longer is this gonna take…

I look around once more before biting my lip. Empty seats and unknown faces were coming to greet me wordlessly, as they did when I first entered through the doors..

The bleachers in the university gymnasium were empty this Saturday morning, with me being its only occupant for today. My face was buried in one of those books I’ve been meaning to read for quite a while now, but the words on the pages seemed to just fly in and out of my head. My eyebrows scrunched together as I tried to tone everything out and focus on the novel, but all I could hear were the sounds around me that did nothing but serve as distractions. They kept taking me away from the world I wished to immerse myself in. The squeaking caused by the friction between the gym floors and the players’ shoes, as well as the sounds of the ball hitting hands were the ones that filled the air and polluted my mind, but I guess it wasn’t just that. It was the boring wait.

It was just us– me and the boys from the team who I had absolutely had no clue about. Not that I wanted to find out about them. It was no big deal to me. They were just boys. No need to freak out.

Unlike most girls in my year, I don’t want to use up my precious seconds ogling over them. It was unnecessary.

That was assuming my time hadn’t already been improperly spent.

I cross my legs and lean forward. Normally, I didn’t like my time being wasted like this, but today I choose to let it slide. It’s not like I had anywhere important to be, or anyone important to meet. And I didn’t really wish I did.

Frowning, I slip my bookmark in between the first pages of chapter 4, and gently close the book. As if I progressed any further into the book. I pull my phone out from my pocket, and the screen tells me it is 10:00AM. Wow, I think. That just means I have been here for almost an hour already, and the office people still haven’t texted me or contacted me through the intercom.

I sigh, again, thinking of how much time was being taken from me as my eyes find the rookie team players heading to the benches for a water break. I look away after a few seconds due to the lack of interest in sweaty jocks. Most girls would be taking photos secretly now. I mean, look at all those men, stripping jersery tops like I wasn’t around. Most girls would have fallen to the floor at this time. If I were like them, I’d probably be slack-jawed, drooling at this nonsense.

But then again, I am nothing like most girls.

So I avert my gaze and my eyes travel around the gym, looking for other things to watch. I find none and I realize I really don’t have anything much else to do, so I decide that I might as well flip my book open again.

My phone beeps just in time.

< Messages                                        SU Registrar’s Office                                               Contact

Today 10:02 AM

Good Day Miss Jung,

We would like to inform you that your appointment with Seoul University’s chairwoman is in fifteen minutes.

Please proceed to her office on the first floor of the main building.

Thank you for waiting.

“About time,” I mutter to myself as I pull my earphones out of my pocket, untangle them and plug them into my cel. I put my playlist on shuffle and grab my backpack before heading out to the main building.

* * *
 

I get to the said building in less than five minutes since I jogged, so I take my time walking around the first floor, following the signs showing me the way to the chairwoman’s office.

A part of the wall near the drinking fountain catches my eye.

‘Freedom Wall: What’s On Your Mind?’ the letters created from multicolored felt paper cut-outs arranged neatly on top of a huge corkboard call out. Confined within the borders were different colors, sizes and shapes of paper with things inked on them in different letters with different .

I smile as I look at the freedom board (because really, that’s not a wall) from afar, admiring the kaleidoscope of colors the papers created when seen as one. My feet suddenly begin to move forward slowly. It feels as if a magic spell was cast on me, unconsciously it was drawing me in. As I got closer, the words written on some of the papers became clearer and clearer– song lyrics, quotes, and thoughts. I couldn’t help but delight myself at the thought that these words held meanings to the people who wrote them. This allows me to view a piece of their hearts, their minds, to be able to see what they were thinking in the time they wrote these messages.

I take my sweet time admiring every single note my curious pair of eyes land on. Almost all of the notes tacked onto the corkboard are anonymous. And that pleases me even more, thinking about how some of these might be people’s deepest secrets. And I, I can see them.

A smile crosses my features.

When I finish reading, I quickly fish out a piece of stationery paper– a simple white one with blue lines, decorated with cartoon airplanes at the bottom right corner– from one of backpack’s front pocket, and a sharpie marker.

‘It wouldn’t be fair,’ I think, ‘Me taking in pieces of different people with leaving a part of me.’

The perfect line pops into my mind, and I begin to write.

Someday, Somewhere– Anywhere, Unfailingly
You will find yourself

I stick the note on a random place in the board, using tape because I had no thumbtacks, and step back a bit to see what it looked like when blended in with the others. Smiling, I think about how much these two lines mean to me, thinking about how much they describe me.

Suddenly, I hear the sounds footsteps coming from behind. My eyes widen and I click my tongue, annoyed at being disturbed from my thoughts. My initial reaction was to walk away from the board briskly as I did, taking out my phone to pretend I’m busy texting on it. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe it’s because I didn’t want anyone to know me before I had the chance to even introduce myself– and that note was a big part of who I am. So I decide as I walk away that no one has to know who wrote that message. I don’t look back, but I can see the outline of a person reflecting on my blank screen. I walk even faster, before he or she gets the chance to recognize me.

I move the screen to view the area where the freedom board was, looking at it shrink on my screen as I walk away, I think, ‘I’ll be back.’

* * *

It was Monday morning when I opened my eyes to find that someone claimed territory on the top bunk of the bed I was to call partly mine from now on. Bags scattered all over the front of the empty closet next to mine, and I had assumed that these belonged to the same person.

She must be the boarder Mrs. Wu mentioned, I think to myself as I roll over on my side, taking my phone which was sitting quietly on the bedside table. The screen told me it was 7 in the morning.

I remembered that the cafe opens at 6:00AM on Mondays, but I have school so I probably won't be able to help out this early. Knowing this, I grab my towel and get into the shower, but not before sneaking a peek on the person lying on my top bunk. She slept flat on her chest with the blankets covering only half of her body, and I couldn’t get a view of her face because she was looking the other way. Her hair was long and beautiful, though. It was so straight and neat, untouched by the wand of the bedhead fairy.

“I’ll see her later,” I say to myself and leave her be, heading into the bath. Right after, I change into black skinny jeans and a navy blue pullover that had the word inspire written on the front. 

Very fitting, I think to myself as I look in the mirror. My eyes widen and I jump at the sight, then I calm myself as realize this is normal. I know. I know I should be used to changing to a different person by now. 

Sadly I am not. And that is probably because I am stuck in the time of the me I got used to, and I’m still struggling to find who I wanna be now.

Nineteen years of searching, and I still haven't found myself.

I shake my head. "No dramatic thoughts today," I say as I comb through my long, mahogany locks, staring at the new yet old me on the other side of the glass. I am astonished.

Being a new person every time shouldn’t be…well, new. The irony of it amused me so much. 

I had changed my appearance three times. I had to change one time for each country I moved to. This time, I had my hair dyed a kind of mahogany color, and I got a perm. I must say it looked good on me, and I have to resist the urge to twirl around like a retard when I look into the mirror. When I finally get myself together though, I put on my hazelnut brown contacts– I’ve worn contacts of different colors before, this is nothing– to lighten my naturally dark brown eyes. At some point I remember what I’m doing this for and I frown slightly, but force myself not to once I catch myself at it. At least this looks close enough to my real appearance, I say to myself as consolation. I take a pair of nerd glasses from my desk and put them on and I take one last look at myself. 

This is who I will be from now on.

I breathe in and out slowly before swinging my backpack over my shoulder and heading down the stairs. 
 

* * *

There weren’t many people coming in yet. This was probably due to the fact that it was seven-thirty on a Monday morning and I’m willing to bet everyone would still be hanging on to the weekend, wishing they were in the loving arms of their beds. But life says no, since it is the unofficial first day of the week, everyone has to get up on their and do what they have to do. That goes for me as well.

I go to line up at the cashier- even though Mrs. Wu insists that I can just go in and get anything I want– and order a Caramel Machiatto and a sandwich that I was planning to eat on the way to my first class. 

The cashier, Eunhye-unnie, smiles at me as I try to hand her the money. "You know I am not obligated to accept that right?" She chuckles as she gives the order to the guy beside her. 
"It's unfair to everyone else," I smile back a small smile. "Come on, unnie, I'm holding the line up."
 

She looks over my shoulder and frowns, after a second she finally gives in. 

She lets me know in a whisper that she’d be returning it later even though I tell her not to, and I take a seat near the counter and I watch all the customers at the cashier line. I observe them for fun, and it proves to be an effective means of killing time.

Currently there was a tall– which is probably an understatement, since he’s towering maybe one or two feet above everyone else– man placing his order. The way he's dressed– hoodie, skinny jeans, a pair of jordans and a snapback– tells me he's probably a college student like me. The defining hint was the notebook he was stuffing into his pack as he spoke to Eunhye-unnie. He laughs at some point in their conversation, bearing a perfect set of pearly whites, his round eyes dissolving into crescents as he does so. I couldn't help but stare at his baby face. It was cute, completely unlike his height. Though his distinguishing feature, I would say, were his elf-like ears. Somehow, they gave me this feeling he may or not be related to Peter Pan. He might even be Peter Pan himself. We’ll never know, the books never mentioned if he was 190cm.

No joke, though. I could totally imagine him in that green outfit going ‘all faith, trust and pixie dust.’  

But the images in my head pause when I see Eunhye hand him a cup and a marker. ‘Ah,’ I think as I straighten my pullover. He's probably one of those customers who like putting weird names on their coffee cups. He looks behind him, directly at me, and laughs before taking the writing utensil. I didn't see what he wrote, but my suspicions are confirmed by the look of surprise on cashier unnie's face.

He just grins as he takes his wallet out.

I can only raise my eyebrows.

* * *

"Haneul!" Eunhye, now somehow magically working the pick-up counter, calls me over. My eyes move to her and she points to my drink. I stand up and collect my things, and in a minute I am at standing in front of the pick-up place. Eunhye unnie smiles at me. She hands me my take-out sandwich in a paper bag, and she takes my Machiatto and places it on the counter.

"Enjoy," she laughs and she returns to tend to other things after I thank her. I am about to take the drink, but something literally snatches it from under my nose. 

"Thank you," a deep voice whispers in my ear. For a split second, I swear I could feel my body temperature rise, but upon registering what happened, lines began drawing themseleves on my forhead. 

Then I see Peter Pan running out the door with my drink. 

"Hey!" I shout after him, dropping my sandwich on the counter as I run out the door. He is already meters away from me. He seems to be running towards the grey sedan parked near the roadside, about five blocks away.

"Hey! !" 

I put all my effort into running, but sadly his long legs give him a bit of an edge in our little race. He ignores my repeated calls and continues his sprint. I try my best to catch up to him, but he was too fast. As a result he is proclaimed the winner og our mini-game, but that wasn’t unexpected. I see him grab the handle of the car and I should be giving up, but I don’t stop running. Before he gets in the passenger seat, however, he turns to look at me.

"Thanks for the drink!" He beams. And I freeze in astonishment as I watch him slam the door, too shocked to even call him more mean names. Standing there in aw, I try to catch my breath. Then his stupid car widens the distance between us as the seconds pass, but I can’t do anything other than stare after it.

I walk back to the cafe briskly, straightening my pull over as I curse under my breath. That was probably one of the worst possible ways to start my first day of college in a new place.

"That little..." I push open the doors of the cafe and stomp in, heading towards Eunhye whom I left my food with. She only smiles as she puts the sandwich in front of me.

"I heated it again," she smiles warmly, and though I am in no mood to smile back, I do. "Oh, and..." Eunhye pushes another drink in front of me. 

I stare at it and sigh, remembering the guy I chased down the street. 

"It's was supposed to be his," she says. "Take it."

I growl, just because I have every reason to take this drink.
Maybe even steal the next drink he's going to order. 

Eunhye smiles as she returns to the cashier. I lean back at the counter and close my eyes, trying to tell myself this is nothing.

“That was one hell of a guy.”

I turn around and I see a girl who looks the same age as I do. She is leaning on the countertop beside me in a way that she looked like she was in one of those casual photoshoots. She was looking past me in the direction Peter Pan left, a playful grin tugging on the corners of her perfectly plump lips.

“Ah, but I promised myself to avoid associating with this complicated foreign species known as males,” she sighs and rolls her eyes jokingly before turning to face me. 

I can already tell. We are going to be such great friends.

“Hey,” she says as she tucks her perfect hair– straight, black, and it goes all the way up to the small of her back– behind her ear. She extends her hand forward. “Eunna. I’m your roommate,” she giggles and I shake her hand. 

“Haneul,” I tell her. “Nice to meet you.”

Her eyes travel over to the drink in front of me, and she chuckles.

"Looks like he left you a treasure map."

My eyebrows raise, and seeing my expression somehow forces Eunna's lips into a knowing smile. Her slender fingers wrap around the cup and she turns it so that the part with the writing faces us. She lets out a joking scoff.

"A phone number?" I choke. Ah, but this has been my fantasy for so long– for a cute guy to order coffee for me and put his name and his number on the cup. That was pretty romantic.

Except for the fact that he STOLE my machiatto. 

"What the , I know," she laughs as she exits from a small door below the countertops. She swings her bag over her shoulder. 

"You're a freshman, right?" She straightens her cardigan and unties her apron before throwing it behind the counter. "Like me?"

I nod. 

"How come I've never seen you before?" 

"Ah," I smile. "I just transferred."

"In the middle of the academic year? From where?"

"The states," I lean on the counter and stuff my hands in my pockets. She eyes me curiously, her look beckoning me to continue. "Connections," I shrug.

"Ah," she says. "Explains all the english books on your desk. Well I just moved out of the dorms. Really couldn't take the people there anymore."

I can only imagine what it feels like to live with a bunch of college girls (as in girly girls) you don't know. I sigh at the though of me living in a place like that. The image of me friendless and struggling. It’s not a good thing to picture.

"Well, I hope I don't disappoint."

"I'm sure you won't," she winks, then her eyes move over to the Machiatto on the counter. "Aren't you gonna take that?" 

I stare at the drink that is in front of me, only now realizing that he bought the exact same thing I did. Only, he got a bigger size. I am genuinely clueless, not knowing what message he wants me to get if there was one at all. Why did he do that? And who is he? What does he want with me, of all people?

And why did he give me his phone number?

"What are you waiting for?" Eunna interrupts. She is standing by the cafe door. I didn't even notice her walk away. "Just take it. We have to get to class."

a/n: omg hello. i said i was gonna update last night, but hah. actually this was on draft since yesterday, and i just had to click the checkbox. LOL. but i wanted to read through it once more. anyway it's here now. by the way thanks to all you again who subbed and commented o u o i am eternally grateful! keep em coming. c: i hope i didnt disappoint. aye, 'till next time! p.s. the layout, yay or nay? and does anyone know where that thing haneul wrote on the wall is from? winkeu. ( pstd. 150606 | edtd. 150616. )