The light was painful to bare when he opened his eyes again, the world around him finally came to a still as he blinked multiple times, he had no idea how long he was out for. The blinds were halfway open letting some of the sun rays spoil the walls in the room, hyunseung shakily sat up letting his senses adjust themselves. After rubbing his aching eyes he came into realization of the heavy weight on his thigh, and what he saw left a pang in his heart while he felt his throat dry up. 
 
the familiar raven haired person was thankfully facing away from him, but just by the back of the nape and the silver stud earring which glinted under the light he knew that it really was him. He'd seen the junhyung's back so many times that he was able to read him like a  book without even seeing his face. Junhyung's hair spilled over his crossed arms as he continued sleeping, now that hyunseung had a closer look at the other he knew that when the rapper wakes up soon his back would surely protest with the way he'd slept. 
 
hyunseung drew in junhyungs vulnerable state in front of him, he really did came, even if he was a little too late. But what was done, done, and all he had to do now was face the aftermath between the both of them. 
 
a vibration cut through the air almost making him jump, he turned over to his left wincing at the pain in his side for moving to quick. Carefully stretching over he tugged the drawer open, where his phone was down to almost half of its battery life already hyunseung swiped through his notifications that had piled up and found one that struck a chord in his heart. He opened it and read the seven words over again and again. 
 

[Junhyung]: 
I'm on my way, wait for me 
 

hyunseung looked away from his phone, glassy doe eyes watching junhyung breathe evenly while he struggled to do the same. He really was here, he was actually here in the hospital, in the same room with him.  junhyung shifted his arms on his leg alarming hyunseung, locking his phone he left it on the side as he continued to warily watch junhyung shift around until he sat up. The corner of his lips were pulled into a frown as he sat up straight hearing the joints pop from sleeping in an awkward position, then junhyungs slanted eyes met his. 
 
"hy-hyunseung."  

"jun-" he was cut off when his dry throat constricted painfully sending him into a coughing fit, junhyung immediately stood up almost barging into the door as he escaped the room he came rushing back to hyunseung holding a flimsy plastic cup of water. The cold water soothed his sore throat momentarily, the now empty cup rested in his palms whilst junhyung stayed in his seat his dark eyes never leaving hyunseung at all, silence wrapped around them apart from the distant bustling of footsteps beyond the door and the wired machines beeping. 
 
"hyunseung." 
 
he looked up from his empty cup and junhyung was still staring at him, almost solemnly with something else that hyunseung couldn't pick up on. 
 
"I'm sorry...and I'm not just sorry for not arriving earlier, I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you and all those times that my selfish actions have caused you to suffer so much" junhyungs fingers dug into his  leg "I just-- I'm it's all my fault and I'm not surprised if-if you hate me or resent me for making you go through so much without even giving you a chance to hear from your side while I just believed my own assumptions. " 
 
hyunseung said nothing watching junhyung fidget in his seat. "it's okay" 
 
"it's okay?" He repeats "are you just going to forgive me just like that -- I mean don't you hate me at all?" 
 
"I said okay because I accept your apology, but junhyung - I can never bring myself to hate you at all. I don't hate you but I hate the fact that-" he cleared his throat "-I hate that you changed, you stopped talking me and started to ignore me like I wasn't worth your attention anymore - every time I tried to talk to you discarded me and that hurt me alot." hyunseung ignored the waterworks that were threatening to spill. "I can deal with being replaced but I can't deal with being ignored and forgotten, I-I can't- don't want to be forgotten especially by you." 
 

he watched hyunseung tremble from where he sat, he watched hyunseung grip the blanket on his lap blinking back the unshed tears that were framing his doe eyes. Junhyung was sure by now that red crescent shaped moons were now etched deep into his legs but that was nothing compared to the way his heart was being constricted painfully. 
 
junhyung didn't deserve, no, hyunseung was the one who didn't deserve at all to be in this position. 
 
there was nothing else to say apart from junhyung being forced to listen to hyunseung breathe in heavily through his nose. He waited for hyunseung to speak up again, as much as he wanted to do nothing more than to collect him into his arms and just hold him close enough so that maybe--just maybe junhyungs heart could help hyunseung in anyway. 
 

"I...accept your apology but. it's just going to take some time until we can get back to the way we used to be." 
 

'the way we used to be' 
 

could they even be the same way that they used to be? His shoulders dropped however if this was what something hyunseung wants then he'd just have to respect his wish, it was better than having to deal with being blatantly awkward for the next handful of months. The possibility of junhyung being with hyunseung seemed to deflate every passing second, it made him even more determined in building up his trust with hyunseung all over again with this new chance. 
 
junhyung's fingers lay flat on top of his leg. "that's understandable." he brought his other hand up to scratch the back of his nape "I'll do everything I can to make this all up to you, I'll even pinky swear this promise." 
 
"a pinky promise, really junhyung?" 
 
the ends of his mouth rose when he caught the glimmer in hyunseungs eyes "well, I can't break a pinky promise now can I." 
 
"then I hope to see you live up to it." the soft laughter ringed through junhyungs ears, it was sweet like honey and even if that laughter lasted for only four seconds - those four seconds was enough to wash all his worries away in a single blow. although there was still one question that had to be asked. 
 
"hyunseung, can I ask you something important." 
 
he shifted back closer to the headboard to slouch against the pillows behind him "sure, what is it?" 
 
"what made you - faint that day?" junhyung knew the answer already from when he met the rest outside the operating room but this time he wanted to hear the answer from hyuseung himself. 
 
hyunseung almost choked. He forgot that junhyung didn't know the reason why he fainted, at the moment he felt almost intimidated as if he was being observed from a microscope. sensing the other panic junhyung quickly sat straight on his seat almost toppling over, "you don't have to tell me the full details - if you don't want to that is, I just want to know if it was maybe from dehydration or stress. I'd rather know from you than anyone else" and I want you to tell me that what the others said wasn't true. 

 
"i-" he took a deep breath in "I have-- it was the hanahaki disease." 

 
and that was all it took for junhyungs pity lies of 'he mustve overworked himself again' and 'maybe hyuseung fainted because of dehydration, he does stay behind the longest after practice and forgets to drink water' to shatter like raindrops as they crashed down. a mixture of disbelief and shock spoiled his tongue leaving junhyung to desperately search for any hints that hyunseung could be lying.  
 
there was none. 
 
"it's nothing to worry about now, I got surgery to get rid of it." a reassuring smile adorned hyunseungs face that only made junhyung feel even worse.  
 
"surgery, that gets rid of it temporarily but not permanently...right?" hyunseung nodded "hyunseung...wh-what if it comes back, you can't constantly keep getting surgeries like this, it'll take a toll on your body." 
 
"I doubt that it'll happen again, this will be the first and the last time." 
 
"do you mind me asking one last thing." 
 
he already knew what junhyung was going to say next "go for it." 
 

"who was the person you had unrequited love for?" 
 

they both drowned in silence again as everything slowed down. 
 
 
"it was you." 
 
 
then junhyung had the wind knocked out of him. hyunseungs posture slacked yet he still kept his eyes on the other, "it was you, it has always been you. I'm not really sure how or when it started but before I knew it I woke up one day finding petals on my bed -- it was really random but I got my answer when I found myself coughing them out into the toilet." He finally looked down staring at the blanket "I was angry - at myself that is - because I let myself go too deep into this when I told myself that I could handle this all by myself and look where I am now." 
 
hyunseung paused taking a deep breath in "a-and there was no way that I would ever tell you about this, and I knew that there was also no way you would return my feelings, I'm sorry that you had to find out this way and I understand if you find me-" 
 
"hyunseung." 
 
the blanket looked watery, he never noticed that before. 
 
"please look at me." 
 
his shoulders started to tremble while he hesitantly rose his head up. Junhyung looked blurry for a second until he blinked letting the tears flow freely and suddenly junhyung wasn't blurry anymore. 
 
Junhyung was crying. 
 
he didn't understand why he was crying at all but he sat still blinking away his tears, the chair scraped against the floor then all hyunseung could see and feel was warmth. Firm arms were carefully wrapped around his waist as he was buried in the scent of vanilla with a bit of smoke, he was blindfolded by the black jumper making it all oddly comforting. 
 
the crook of hyunseungs neck was the home to the tears that fell, junhyung drew him a bit closer into his embrace. "don't be sorry, ever. You've done nothing wrong, it's all my fault." His forehead pressed beneath hyunseungs ear. "I'm sorry." 
 
there was nothing said when hyunseung lifted his weak arms to snake around junhyungs shoulder bringing him even closer as he possibly could, junhyung was aware that his shoulder was starting to get wet but he didn't care at all at the moment. he listened and took in all of hyunseungs broken sniffles and whimpers only offering relief through the hug and his stray hand that drew comforting shapes on hyunseungs back. 
 

Nothing else was important, they held each other for as long as they needed too not even moving away from each other when the sun bled the room yellow. 

 
---

 

Hyunseung believed that the saying time heals everything was true. A month and a half went by alarmingly fast, they finally had their comeback with all six of them on stage a week after his hospitalisation. Things did get better between junhyung and hyunseung even though at first they were both horribly awkward enough to make dongwoon cringe but now they've slipped back to being comfortable with each other (a little too comfortable from yoseobs perspective) however the rest didn't mind at all.  

Just as long as they were both okay and happy then they were happy too. 
 

Junhyung skidded across the room to hyunseung on his swivel chair leaving his computer on. “Hey let’s head back to the dorm.” 

Hyunseung was lying on his side brushing away the crumbs on his top, “now? Isn't a bit too early it's only around eight and you still have three more tracks left.” 

“That can wait tomorrow, let's pack up the leftover food we can use it to feed the brats.” 

“I doubt how a container and a half of roast duck chow mein with two bags of pork and prawn balls is enough to keep their stomachs sated.” He got off the hazel coloured couch stretching his arms, junhyung was going to comment on their black holes for a stomach when a piece of crumb was peaking from the corner of hyunseungs lip.  

Without hesitation the pad of junhyungs thumb swiped the crumb away almost brushing the bottom lip, he made a sound of disapproval “you really are a messy eater.” 

Hyunseung stuck his tongue out shoving one of the plastic bags towards him to carry. After cleaning up the studio and locking it up the duo took their time walking to the nearest bus stop, junhyung wanted to save some gas money so instead of driving by his car they journeyed by bus. 
 

The street lights illuminated their path as they walked further towards the sun hiding beneath the towers ahead of them. Shoulders occasionally bumping to each other while junhyung listened to hyunseung telling him a story about something funny that happened backstage after their latest performance, he smiled behind his scarf seeing the way hyunseungs eyes crinkle in excitement he could tell that he was smiling even when half of his face was covered by a grey mask. 

The bus approached five minutes after waiting, shuffling through they took the two empty seats at the very back. Hyunseung took the seat by the window as he sat next to him, the bus wasn't as packed as it thought it’d be yet he was just thankful that everyone was occupied on their phones or simply lost in their own world. 

They talked in hushed tones for a while until they settled into comfortable silence. Their thighs were touching and at some point hyunseung had slipped his arm under his own, distant chattering was heard mingling with the vibration of the busses motor. It would take same time until they reached their destination, junhyung took out his phone to check the time and any messages that he had missed ignoring the sea of complaints coming from the maknae line asking where their dinner was he found one message that stood out from the rest, it left a sincere smile on his lips. 
 

It was sent about two hours ago when he was still in the studio, looking over to hyunseung he found his head awkwardly leaning against the window. Removing his arm from hyunseungs hold he brought his head to lean against his shoulder before tangling their arms again, tucking his phone back in his pocket he carefully slipped his fingers to fill the gaps between hyunseungs.  

Junhyung looked around to make sure no one was looking, tugging his scarf down he kissed hyunseungs temple leaning his own head against the other. Mindlessly letting his thumb brush over the knuckles parallel to his.  

[Hyunseung]: 
I’ll always wait for you. 


 

Honeydew is officially finished!!!!! I hope this ending does justice for this whole fic (●´□`)♡, I've also edited all previous 8 chapters fixing up all the typos and all that.

I have another junseung chaptered fic coming up soon to celebrate my anniversary here on aff (♡´౪`♡),its kind of sad &funny that I joined before a day before valentines day lmaooooasdfvbbbhsf.


most importantly thank you for reading Honeydew to the very end! ( ◜◒◝ )♡


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