Today was the day of the surgery, a while ago hyunseung had lunch with the others who thankfully made time in their schedules to visit him even though they wouldn't be back until sometime later on. At this moment hyunseung was left alone in his room, the book that dongwoon had brought for him was left to the side while he lost himself in his own thoughts, it was almost like the calm before the storm.

The only thing that was currently keeping him company was the sound of tv playing in the background, of course word had gotten out about hyunseung being admitted to the hospital however the company managed to disclose it as fatigue from overworking and nothing than that. The public didn't need to know the exact reason why he was in the hospital in the first place, that would just start a chain reaction of exaggerated rumors and unnecessary publicity. 
 
yet he was still thankful for the fans and those from his fan websites for generously sending him gifts, they certainly brightened up the dull white room and uplifted his spirit. Yoseob had even told him of how their twitter was flooded with wonderful get well messages, all of this made him feel loved. Hyunseung sighed leaning into the pillow behind him as he tried to focus on what was happening on tv, even if this was a minor surgery he was still scared, as selfish as it might seem hyunseung desperately wished that the others would be there with him so they could distract him from his fears right before he goes, he wished that they could bunk their jam packed schedule and just stay with him. The clock next to the tv told hyunseung that he would be going in soon. 

 
thankfully before he could throw himself into an infinite loop of anxiety his phone buzzed demanding his attention, a flurry of messages tiled up on his screen. Those messages instantly filled him with reassurance seeing the maknaes overuse of emojis and kikwangs long essay of a text, hyunseung smile reached his eyes all while reading every single message before he sent out his reply. But that happiness died down like the sunset when he realized that junhyung hadn't said anything at or all in fact he hadn't even visited him, the blonde laughed inside. what should he be expecting anyway.  
 
He should be angry, he should be cursing him out like no tomorrow, he should be upset that he is why this all happened, he should just give up on junhyung. 
 

Shouldn't he? 
 

it's blatant that things won't be back to the way they were before with junhyung, might as well as leave everything the way it is now before more damage could happen to their already ice thin relationship (if hyunseung could even call it that.) in the end hyunseung knew for certain that whatever happens or what junhyung says or does to him, he could never find it in his heart to fully hate him, he couldn't as much as he wanted to.  
 
there was a knock on the door revealing one of the staffs nurse, "hyunseung, it's time for your surgery." He nods in response as he's helped from the nurses discharging the wires connecting to him, gradually standing up the singer was escorted to a wheelchair since his legs still felt numb and weak. while the nurse wheeled him out the room another went in tidying up the bed and going over the machines that were set to the side once everything was in order the nurse took hyunseungs phone and book tucking them away safely into drawer locking it away before finally leaving the room. 
 
in the empty room hyunseungs phone vibrated, echoing from the locked drawer. The screen lit up with a single message left on screen. 
 

[Junhyung]: 
I'm on my way, wait for me. 
 
 

                                                                                    ---


 
his grip on the wheel was starting to turn white, at of all times that he had to be stuck in traffic it was now. Junhyung thought of just leaving his car behind as he sprinted how many miles until the he reached the hospital just like in the dramas where the male character frantically leaves everything behind running non stop and miraculously makes it in time to find the heroine within the span of five minutes through dramatic cut scenes.

'don't be stupid junhyung this isn't no drama.' He scolded himself, he couldn't even reach the top of the stairs without even feeling tired, taking a glimpse at his phone he checked to see if hyunseung had replied yet and it turns out he hasn't. Letting go of the steering wheel junhyung sat back, he couldn't just back out now he had to face hyunseung and tell him everything even if he was convinced that his heart was close to breaking his through ribs in an attempt to escape, junhyung was a nervous wreck constantly jumping between 'I can do this, I can and will face hyunseung' and 'maybe this isn't a good idea at all, I should wait until hyunseung's been released from the hospital.' And the traffic he was in wasn't helping at all. 
 
after suffering for almost an hour the rapper mentally praised god for the traffic to be finally moving, he diligently started driving with determination to see hyunseung. In no time he reached the hospital, after parking his car junhyung power walked inside remembering doojoon telling him where hyunseungs room was, he quickly started to make his way through the hallways mindfully being careful of others around him whilst following the signs up ahead.

Junhyung felt sick, he hadn't been nervous in a long time and the further he walked through the maze of white walls the louder his heart was thundering at his ear drums blocking out the noise around him, cold sweat was starting to drip from the back of his neck making a sharp turn he passed by a familiar group of people at the end of the hall he just recently passed. 
 
his instincts told him to do a double check and he did, it was the others loitering outside the operating room. 'wait, the surgery room? Wh-' junhyung felt a lump grow in his throat 'does- it couldn't be' he refused to believe that it was what he thought it was, time slowed down around him the sound of his footsteps were too loud all he could see was the glowing sign indicating that there was surgery in progress he kept walking towards it like he was a moth that was flying dangerously close to the light, was hyu- 
 
"junhyung hyung! You're actually here!" 
 

Said person snapped out of his daze to find the maknae line rushing towards him and yoseob tagging along right behind them too. "hyung, we thought you wouldn't come at all. Did you manage to finish everything that you had to do?" The rapper owlishly blinked as he nodded slowly, he was slightly taken back junhyung had honestly thought that they would blow up right in front of him threatening him to know what he was really up to. Before dongwoon could interrogate him yoseob quietly stepped in between kikwang and dongwoon without a word and punched junhyung on the arm hard, the eldest stumbled back from the impact almost losing his step, he definitely wasn't expecting that. 
 
"what the actual ?! What was that for that really hurt you-" 
 
"it's about time that you got here." his face was blank with no hint of joke seen. Junhyung didn't lie, in that moment he was terrified, there was something in yoseobs eyes that told him that there was something that he knew. Kikwang stepped in shoving the same arm that the other punched. 
 
"yeah hyung, if you were here earlier you could've seen hyunseung hyung before his surgery." Junhyung rubbed his abused arm remembering that hyunseung was in the surgery room right now. 
 
"wait, before I get attacked again - why is hyunseung in there? It couldn't be that his condition was that serious" 
 
junhyung watched as the trio in front of him exchanged glances worriedly. He fiddled with the ends of his sleeve watching them he wasn't sure if he was willing to hear the truth. 
 
the maknae answered his question "hyung...didn't you know, hyunseung hyung has the hanahaki disease." 
 
"hana-haki disease?"  
 
"yeah, right now they're removing all the branches of flowers in him. Luckily it's a minor surgery so it shouldn't take so long, we were told that the stem of the branches were beginning to tighten around his organs so hyungs lucky to get rid of them in time before it gets even worse."  
 
hanahaki disease. Hanahaki disease. 
 
the raven haired rapper had heard of it, he was told by his brother that one of his friends had it a month ago and they had to get surgery to get it removed. If memory serves him well, hanahaki disease is triggered by one sided love. His legs almost gave out beneath him, one sided love. Hyunseung is or more like was in love with someone, and he didn't know who it was it could be anyone. 
 
doojoon joined the group after watching them from afar for a while, he didn't miss the way the blood drained from junhyungs face the moment dongwoon said hanahaki disease as if he just told him his mother just died. "the important thing is, that hyunseung will be back on his feet in no time." The rest of them agreed in murmurs. kikwang changed the topic to lighten up the mood, in the midst of listening to dongwoon complain about the food and yoseob ranting on the wifi being bad junhyungs eyes slid over to  doojoon who was watching him before offering a smile which he returned. 
 
it isn't until around forty minutes later that the doctor emerged from the operating room announcing that it was a success, relief and joy washed over them at the good news even the maknaes grin right now could rival a Cheshire cat. The doctor pulls doojoon to the side as they talk in hushed tones about hyunseungs after care and what not, junhyung is barely paying attention to the youngest three when kikwang offers to buy them all dinner in success for the surgery. With the surgery over and done with junhyung knew that he still had to talk to hyunseung and set things straight. 
 
"why don't we all go out for some fresh air for the mean time before hyunseung wakes up" 
 
dongwoon shot up from his seat stretching his arms "yeah! While we're outside kikwang hyung can buy us snacks." 
 
"I only said I'll buy us all dinner the snacks aren't included." Yoseob ushered the bickering two ahead leaving doojoon and junhyung to trail behind them, leaving the big building left them feeling refreshed after being cooped up in there for so long. He suggested that they settle down in a café that wasn't too far down the road it, walking down the pavement junhyung took in the cozy shops littered down the path with quirky vibrant signs. 

 
halfway through the walk a heavy arm hooked around his shoulders "you should head back to the hospital" puzzled by the request doojoon lowered his voice so only junhyung could hear him "use this chance to talk to hyunseung when he wakes up, don't worry about the others I'll keep them distracted until then."

the leader patted his shoulder before running up and barging into the other three declaring that the snacks were on him, junhyungs lips slowly smiled warmly not only was he in doojoons debt he also now owed him his life without looking back he sprinted towards the hospital.  

He could already feel his legs starting to ache from forcing himself to speed walk as fast as he could, stealthily retracing his steps in the hospital junhyung found himself standing in front of hyunseungs door. This is it wiping his clammy hands on his clothes he finally opened the door. 
 

There he was. 
 
shutting the door quietly behind him junhyung took in the sight of hyunseung sleeping peacefully, the room was coloured by a variety of gifts around whilst the gentle sunlight cascaded over hyunseungs face highlighting his cheekbones along with his pale blonde hair.

junhyung soundlessly and slowly walked up to the bed as if the floor was covered in eggshells, taking a chair beside him he sat down watching the other breathe in and out. it took everything in him to not hold hyunseungs hand that was right in front of him inviting him to intertwine their fingers once more, instead he held the end of the baby blue blanket as junhyung listened to the sound hyunseungs heart beat resonating in the room.