Ultimum Ascenditis

“ You are the most constant lover,

leaving me never

more alone.”

It's been four months now since Chanyeol graduated,

he didn't bother looking for a college,

on the contrary, he spent every living second with Baekhyun,

    who had been getting worse and worse as old suns set and new dawns rose.

He was pale now, too pale, sickly pale,

under his eyes, large black circles, his cheekbones now way too noticable but the pink never left his plum, soft lips.

Chanyeol was beyond worried now,

abandoning his sleeping pills and running back to the good old friend named caffeine.

He couldn't sleep, 

he didn't want to sleep.

He couldn't eat, he didn't want to eat.

And soon he grew somewhat weak as well.

His mother knew,

she wanted to avoid that the most but it was too late now.

„Chanyeol, dear I was thinking..

How about I spend some time with your precious boyfriend?

I really want to go to a Spa Hotel but have nobody to go with and Baekhyun is a somewhat sickly fellow.

Don't you think that would do him some good?“

That's what she said, and he said yes.

(No.)

Baekhyun squealed with joy, kissing his giant with all the strenght he could muster,

packing his things with great excitement.

Chanyeol even helped!

(No..)

He eveloped his baby into a big hug before letting him run over to his mother.

Chanyeol even waved them off!

(No...)

It was supposed to be something like a two week vacation, maybe even more if they felt like it, so his mother said.

According to her, his lover was having so much fun like never.

That felt odd for Chanyeol but he just decided to brush it off.

(No...!)

A week into their vacation and his time without Baekhyun he got a call from the hospital,

a fellow classmate and close friend had gotten injured while dancing and Chanyeol, of course, decided on paying him a visit.

The hospital was in Incheon so naturally, for a person without a car, Chanyeol had to take the bus there.

During the drive, he thought a lot.

Mostly about Baekhyun.

He was mad at the fact that his mother was taking him away from Chanyeol, he was mad that she rarely gave him the phone to speak, he missed his baby a lot.

When the bus came to his station he got out, fixing his tie before fishing for the wallet in his pocket.

Jongin needed some flowers to brighten the gloomy hospital room they were offering him.

Said male promised to wait for him on the hospital's enterance, and so he did but Chanyeol had eyes for somebody else.

A  woman, an elderly one to be precise, around her 60-ies, in a dirty pale pink dress, matching blouse going with it waltzed down the hall.

He shoved Jongin aside and followed her, trying to stay as unnoticable as possible, she was familiar, too familiar.

He went after her, and went, until she came to a stop in front of a certain room.

Chanyeol hid and observed, she went inside and came back out in less than five minutes.

If she was really visiting someone it couldn't take such a short time.

Chanyeol being the curious being he is, entered the room the familiar woman exited from just half a minute earlier.

He didn't think he would find anything, not anything depressing for sure.

However, what awaited for him was beyond anything a person deserved to witness.

His lover,

Baekhyun,

strapped to multiple machines, more than Chanyeol could name off the top of his head.

Everything just simply slowed down in Chanyeol's mind.

It seemed like reality just paused.

All that Chanyeol could register was Baekhyun,

not the Baekhyun he fell in love with these past few months,

who was fragile and delicate yet still smiled at the world,

but a Baekhyun that simply gave up trying to survive this cruel world.

His cheeks that would turn int oa deep shade of red when embarrassed were now hollow, 

his skin was sickly white

the veins coursed throughout his body were visible in areas where they shouldn't be, his eyes that once held hope and joy just stared out the window, lost and miserable,

his body was much smaller,

he lost too much weight.

Yet with all these depressing changes, one thing remained the same,

his lips,

they still held that pink hue that Chanyeol came to love.

Baekhyun hasn't registered Chanyeol in the room,it was as if he really wasn't there.

Chanyeol took one step.

His eyes darted to Baekhyun's chest.

It moved ever so slightly with each difficult breath Baekhyun took.                              

He took another step.

His eyes then wandered to the oxygen mask strapped around Baekhyun's face.

The thought of him requiring aid to just simply breathe shattered Chanyeol's heart.                                                                                                                               

Another step.

His eyes met with the haird monitor.

It barely registered the little heart beats that Baekhyun's body tried so hard to keep alive.              

One last step.

His eyes met with Baekhyun's.

Shock was clearly plastered across his face.

Tears pricked at the corners of Chanyeol's eyes.

The two didn't expect this outcome the moment they crossed paths.

Chanyeol rushed to Baekhyun's side.

Not much could be said.

Not much was heard in return.

Just the little patters of rain colliding with the window,

mixed in with the strangled cries forced back by the giant.

Neither of them ever dared to look away,

it was just many attempts of the inviduals trying to read the other's expression.

~

Concern was all that could be registered on Chanyeol's face.

„Please, tell me the truth.“

'The woman came by again,

Turns out I do know her.

It's Baekhyun's mother.

I know her from the baby pictures he showed me once,

She's gotten so old.'

„Like I said,

Baekhyun has a weak body and he overworked himself.

He's just resting and recovering for a bit.“

„That doesn't look like someone who overworked themselves.“

„Are you implying that I'm lying to you about my own son, Chanyeol?“

Sighing, Chanyeol simply gave up and walked back to Baekhyun's room.

Not many words have been exchanged between the two.

Every attempt Chanyeol has made to start up a conversation failed,

Baekhyun would just stare out the window,

his eyes glazed over with that pained look on his face.

He knew for a fact that Baekhyun was suffering from something worse.

~

Chanyeol eventually decided to stay at a nearby hotel.

He would visit Baekhyun every day.

Like always, not much was said between the two

However,this particular day was different.

„The weather is nice today, don't you think so?“

„Why do you keep visiting me every day, Chanyeol?“

The taller male was taken aback by the sudden question. He expected Baekhuyn just to grunt or not reply at all.

 The smaller boy turned his head to face Chanyeol,

his dead eyes stared at Chanyeol and he asked again.

„Well?“

„I...Well, we're dating, aren't we?“

A heavy silence filled the air.

Baekhyun kept his eyes locked with Chanyeol.

„Listen, I love you Baekhyun.

I would never just leave you alone like that.

I want to be by your side, wether that's in this hospital or in our bed.

I... 

I just..

.“

„And I thought with all the studying you've done, you wouldn't be this stupid.“

Chanyeol's eyes widened in response, mouth wide agape.

Baekhyun's lips turned up into a twisted smile.

It was clearly forced.

The small male turned his head to look out the window again,

eyes deeply fixated on the blurry, rainy scenery outside.

„...Baekhyun, why don't you talk to me anymore?

Did I do something to hurt you?

Tell me, what did I do?“

More questions were thrown at Baekhyun, one after the other.

Said male bit his lip tightly, almost drawing blood.

He never experienced this much emotional pain before.

„Just leave, Chanyeol. I don't want you here.“

„Y-You what..?“

Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun in disbelief once more,

so many things were going through his head right now,

he felt so lost,

so hurt.

When no reply came from his apparent boyfriend,

Chanyeol just let out a strangled laugh.

„That's okay, even if you don't want me here.

I'll always be by your side, because I love you,Baek.

I love you so much it hurts.“

He choked out before standing up from the small chair and running his fingers through Baekhyun's soft brown locks.

„I'll see you later then.“

At which the small male only ducked his head,

avoiding further contact with Chanyeol and turned it to gaze at the window whispering a small

„Do what you want.“

~

During the time of staying here Chanyeol had forgotten about everything and anything but Baekhyun,

even Jongin,

even his mother or

his own health.

It was one day that they sat together like this again,

Baekhyun, looking somewhat worse than before,

but hey, not like Chanyeol was the one to talk,

considering the way he looked himself.

It was snowing today, just a few days before new years.

The streets were already fully decorated, the shiny bright lights bathing the town in various colors.

Baekhyun was staring out the window again,

eyes empty,

weak hands tightly clutching the blanket on top of him,

head sinking into the hospital's fluffy pillow.

It's been less than a month since this started but there wasn't a day when Baekhyun didn't refuse him or ignore him,                                                                           but the giant still stayed stubborn,

persistent and never gave up.

Chanyeol pursed his lips and cleared his throat,

making the smaller male flinch in surprise.

„Baek, do you want me to buy you flowers?“

The mentioned male turned his head to look at the latter,

he opened his mouth and then closed it,

but then spoke with a hoarse voice.

„Flowers..?“

Chanyeol inwardly smiled to himself for successfully grabbing his lover's attention.

„Yes, pretty ones.Would you like those?“

Baekhyun's eyes lit up as if they were stars.

This shouldn't be happening, no.

„Really? 

Can I get all kinds of flowers? Any kind?“

„Yes, any flower you want is yours.“

„Yes! I want—„

He stopped,

hand shooting up to clutch at his chest, breathing roughly.

„Woah there, you might need to slow down on that, babe.“

Chanyeol worriedly stood up, hurriedly waltzing over to Baekhyun's side,

one of his large hands laying itself on said male's shoulder and the other one going through his locks, pushing them out of Baek's eyes.

„Shhh, hey.

It'll be okay, trust me. Just breathe slowly, baby.

I'm here with you, it's okay. Trust me.“

The taller whispered reasuring things into the other's ear as his cheeks turned crimson.

Chanyeol's eyes widened.

„I got you too excited, didn't I?“

He laughed wholeheartedly as his eyes lovingly stared at Baekhyun.

„ you, Park Chanyeol.“

The other hissed in reply, whipping his head around, facing the window.

„I'm sure you'd love if that happened, again.“

He grinned in response before going over to the chair he'd been previously sitting on and picking his coat up.

„So, all kinds of pretty flowers for my Baek.

We'll do that, then.

You just wait, I'll give you the most amazing bouquet you have ever seen in your life.“

And that night, Baekhyun cried like never before.

______________________________________________________________________________

soon my young ones

soon

i'm v sorry for not updating any sooner

but worry not i shall bring all our suffering to an end

soon

and this time it's going to be

very soon

yesry4mywritingilyall