Yoona
Defence One Shots
2 years is up and it’s that day again.
The memories flock back and revisit me. It always does. From the moment my eyes locked with Victoria’s at the banquet to the day she left in my arms.
I’m shutting my eyes so that tears won’t seep out. Victoria hadn’t wanted me to cry. She hadn’t wanted to feel guilty either, so I’ve stopped feeling guilty for losing her that night at camp many years ago.
However, I won’t forget the mistake I’d made. It was because of me that Victoria had to lose so much and go through so much.
My dear friend didn’t deserve it.
I always dreamed of a sweet reunion between the two of us. That reunion hadn’t happened so warmly. My heart shattered when I found out Victoria had come from another world, one I hadn’t imagined her to be in. She was like a rock hard athlete, something that didn’t suit her sweet appearance. Victoria should have become a model, a fashionista, a designer, not a killer.
As much as I want to apologize, I know that even doing so would break Victoria apart much more than it would I. So I don’t do it.
Even as I look back upon our childhood together, I realize how many warm memories we’ve created before time lost us. It’s not regrettable. The only thing I regret is having been there that night. Maybe I shouldn’t have tailed her.
I wonder through all the unanswerable possibilities. Perhaps, Victoria would have survived but disappeared elsewhere. Or she would have come back to us to continue living in our presence. What would have happened if I didn’t appear that night? Would Victoria have willingly lived on if I’d pulled the trigger?
It makes me wonder so many things. But I only selfishly want all the answers to be “Yes, Victoria would have lived” or “Yes, Victoria would have come back”. But I don’t know.
We’d changed. Victoria had said we’d change and nothing was the same. She was right. I didn’t know her inside out nor did she know me. We were two friends who’d been separated and reunited by chance.
And all of it had been because of Ok Taecyeon.
I don’t hear from him anymore, but I do receive postcards from him once in a while from various cities in Australia. Has he been wandering aimlessly? I can only imagine the heartache he’s probably still going through. Part of it had been my fault. If I had known that Victoria loved him I would have dropped him from my mind instantly, but I’d talked about him like he was my lifeline. Like I couldn’t be without him. How much Victoria must have hurt then.
And Lee Donghae. We meet up once in a while, but we aren’t as close anymore. There’s an obvious distance between us ever since Victoria passed away. He must be longing for her to this very day.
But it doesn’t make me lonely. The two are great men and I’ve only made the wrong turns. If I’d really loved Donghae, I wouldn’t have fallen for Taecyeon. And if I’d really loved Taecyeon then he would have returned the feelings if we were meant to be. Now I’m content with just myself.
If I could meet Victoria now, I’d tell her face to face that I’m not scared anymore, that I don’t hide anymore, I don’t run away, nor do I lie to myself anymore. I’d tell her that so she can look at me with a smile and tell me she’s proud. And I’d let her know that she’s never taken anything away from me because I’d taken everything away first. That we’re on equal terms.
I don’t hang onto the past anymore.
And I’d let her know that I still remember her words. If anyone comes in my way, I won’t let them take anything or anyone from me. I’ll be strong. I really will. I’m smiling, living with passion, and I don’t regret being a deputy sheriff. So when that day comes that we meet again, I can wholeheartedly hug Victoria and let her know I’ve been happy all this while.
I’ll let her know that I do drop in on her parents often. They’re moving about and seem more at peace with themselves. Seeing them like that has set my mind at peace. Because Victoria had been found and had been reunited with them, if not in body, in spirit. I know Victoria would smile even at that fact. I can see it with my very own eyes.
I’m opening my eyes again and the cab has stopped.
A smile lights my face as I step out. No one has forgotten you, Victoria, so don’t forget us… ever.
“Hi,” I greet the two.
***This is it! I said this was going to be pretty short and I didn't expect any subscribers, but thanks for subscribing! This wasn't supposed to be anything spectacular, but an insight into their continuation of living on. Thanks for reading guys! I'll see you all around in my other stories :D
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