Taecyeon
Defence One Shots
She kind of appeared like the wind and disappeared like the wind, except when she disappeared she also took everything away with her. My life, my miseries, my happiness, my everything.
I was adopted, never received the love I should have received. It’s a bit regretful, but I don’t like looking back upon those times. When I compare my past to Victoria, I figure out that she’d been much more of an impact than the love I hadn’t received from my parents.
Seoul, South Korea was supposed to be my last stop. The place where I would make a living for myself and whatever happened would happen. I didn’t question my life because I aimed to be a bodyguard at the company until I retired. I was a bodyguard that couldn’t protect anyone, anything. From getting framed to being useless to Victoria.
The night I rammed into her with my car would be something I’d now call a miracle. If I had never met her that night my life would have never twisted and turned. I would be the man that had nothing, who nothing meant nothing to. She gave me meaning.
My first impression of Victoria…her appearance was average to me. I only wanted her to leave my complex and allow me to return to the life I once lived. I had only been grateful for the fact that I hadn’t killed her because if I had God knows what I would have done then.
Victoria was utterly mysterious in many ways. She was always wolfing down her meals, she didn’t know anything, anything at all. Perhaps her knowing nothing started attracting me toward her when I realized she had bits of sadness tucked away under those unreadable eyes. I felt I need to look after her even when Yoona started entering my life.
Yoona had been my crush. She was beautiful, elegant, and had such an intelligent aura around her, always. I wondered how my boss had met such a great gal. I should have paid more attention to Yoona, but everything sidetracked when Yoona started talking to me about her friend. The day she showed me Victoria’s family picture changed my outlook.
Victoria had been missing for more than 10 years. The things she’d been put through, how those people had treated her, I couldn’t even imagine it. Yet, I couldn’t out rightly confront her because I didn’t know her well enough to do so. But I tried.
The way she threatened me, stared at me, became cold toward me only told me she was hiding much more than I’d imagined. I couldn’t give her up to the police, though. She could have killed me during the time I’d allowed her to stay, but she hadn’t touched a hair on my body. And her clueless personality had told me that she was as innocent as a child was. How could I have hurt such a child?
Then the second time Victoria went missing sent alarms running through my head. Why would she have left? How could she have gone without a word? A part of me ached for her and the other part of me only knew that I selfishly wanted, needed her to stay.
I can’t explain how glad it was that I’d found her at the terminal. Just before she’d stepped onto the train, before she would have been gone forever. That night when I’d presented her with a birthday cake on Yoona’s behalf was the night I’d taken the ammunition from her gun. It was one of the largest mistakes I’d ever made.
Honestly, I shouldn’t have touched the gun. I shouldn’t have tried to keep Victoria safe because she never was.
My recklessness almost killed her once and that became my biggest fear when she collapsed before me. Victoria needed to stay with me. She needed to breathe, live, eat, and smile with me. When I saw her lying on that hospital bed, the guilt that ran through me was enough to create a river.
I became more conscious, more aware of Victoria’s presence after that incident. To keep her within my line of sight became a priority that must have annoyed her. I knew Victoria was strong and hard headed. She’d do anything she wanted and never turned back on her decisions.
Even when I was with her, she never allowed me to be totally beside her. I could feel it. Why? She must have been scared, afraid that we’d end up like that movie ‘Windstruck’. Victoria was always measuring and weighing the consequences of her choices. I think that’s what always held her back.
It’s even more regretful that I hadn’t put her feelings into thought, but my own. Victoria deserved much more than me, she deserved someone who could protect her, but I couldn’t live without her. In such a quick amount of time I became attached to this weapon, this woman who lived in the most dangerous world.
It was that night when she came running after me did I feel that she was ready to accept me into her heart. I had no idea time would slide by so cruelly fast. I lost her the next day.
The pain, the misery, the cruelty of it all slammed me in the face like a hard rock. Victoria had passed while trying to protect Yoona. It was hard to look at Yoona then for she’d been the cause of it all. It was hard to forgive the fact that I was living, waiting for each day to come so I could be closer to that day when I’d meet Victoria again. I couldn’t get rid of anything that belonged to Victoria. All the memories, the life she’d given me, I couldn’t get over anything.
Several days went by where I bawled like crazy. Holding onto her clothes and wishing that she’d magically come back to life. When I arrived at the funeral, I couldn’t get near the casket. Reality hit me from that day on that I was now alone again.
Unable to live on and do anything because everywhere I went in the city of Seoul, I was reminded of Victoria. I resigned from the job I was supposed to keep till retirement and left.
The fresh air in Australia didn’t quite help, but I stayed there for quite a while and flew back for Victoria’s first death anniversary. I still reminisce a lot about the times I had with Victoria. They were precious. Rather than not having met her at all, I’m glad that I did. And rather than having her leave without a word, I’m glad that she left in the presence of Yoona, her dear friend. Yoona had lost more time with her than I had. Even I had matured these past 2 years.
The sky is blue, the sun yellow, and the country grass fields a shiny green and gold. Traffic still looked the same and nothing had changed in these two years.
All these thoughts run through my head as the plane landed. I’m about to see Victoria again.
***I didn't plan on writing these series of One Shots, but after I watched the korean movie "My Mom" last night and bawled my eyes out I decided it'd be a neat idea to do so. So here I am with Taecyeon's thoughts. 2 years have gone by and it's Victoria's death anniversary.
***Thank you for lighting the idea into my head Toria101 :D
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