Victoria
Defence One Shots
Life had always been hard. My heart had always been ripped to pieces, but I beared with it because I always knew that someday I’d get to see them again. My family and my friend, Yoona.
There were times I dreamed of them and nights I missed them by myself. And there were other times where I’d wonder if they’d forgotten me. Perhaps it would have been better if they’d forgotten about me and continued living on with their own lives. Then there was a part of me that knew they were always waiting and dreaming of me too.
I wanted to escape camp the first chance I had, but it was near impossible. The night I was framed was my sole chance and I took it. But I didn’t escape because I wanted to, it was because I had to.
What brought me to Seoul? I don’t know. I just ended there and unconsciously made it my final destination. Maybe somewhere, then, I wanted to head back and look in on the life I used to live. Yes, maybe that was it. I wanted to get a glance at the people I once knew and see how well off they were.
When I reached Seoul I was introduced to so many other things. New people and a new environment. Taecyeon, the nice naïve man who almost ran me over. Donghae, the perfect image of a rich chaebol who was always searching for something to brighten up his life. Then Yoona, the beautiful woman who even managed to make my heart skip a beat. They were the three people that changed everything.
So many things occurred, we all went through so much, and yet I knew I didn’t belong there with them. I was like a bullet. One wrong move and I could end up taking their lives.
But these people seemed so fearless. No matter how close they got to me, no matter how much they pushed themselves into my life, they didn’t seem to understand that I didn’t want them there.
However, I’m very thankful to everyone.
Donghae who first stirred my heart by opening his up to me. He was the icon of romance. If I really had the chance where nothing was holding me back I would thank him for the dates he took me on, for every moment when he took the initiative to take me out and show me the world I’d been prohibited from. For showing me concern and allowing me to experience the experiences I’d never had before.
Taecyeon who momentarily touched my heart and made himself stay there. The special person whom I should be most thankful to. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know where I would have ended up. His naïve side made it easy to pick on him and push him around yet he nonetheless allowed me to take shelter inside his apartment. I’m still sorry toward him. I didn’t have enough to give back, I didn’t have enough strength to push through the walls I’d set for myself. I didn’t give him enough. This nice man, he shouldn’t have met me. He shouldn’t have run into me. He shouldn’t have paid so much attention to me. I shouldn’t have entered his life to start with. Where is he now? What is he doing? I can’t even know. I don’t know anything but that I’m so sorry toward him.
Yoona, the friend I would never forget. The sole woman who entered my life and never left it. Her beautiful eyes still dazzle my memories to this very day. I never wanted to see her cry. I didn’t deserve to have her cry for me. I didn’t want her to cry for me, ever. The night she lost me, the night I lost her…no, actually the night we both lost each other must have been the only thing that scarred the very both of us…forever. It broke my heart when I had to see her again. I didn’t mean to take anything away from her, I didn’t want her to know me again as her occupation and mine are completely different. But Yoona came after me. To befriend the friend who was always searching for me and to know that broke my heart even more. Yoona, the very perfect girl, should have just lived on with her life. She shouldn’t have followed her father’s footsteps and pursued the kind of career she chose just to look for me. It was even more regretful that I had to leave her behind the way I did. Yoona deserved so much better.
Where am I now? I’m not sure. I know for a fact that I don’t regret anything. To have been taken away at such a young age and later be reunited with Yoona and to have met new friends. I couldn’t have wished for more. At the brink of death, even as fear taunted me, I would have rather went than stayed to see the pain in their faces. There is nothing more than feeling sorry toward my friends and yet nothing less than being thankful for their entry into my life.
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