There are about four months of performances leading up to their debut stage, starting from Chinese New Year's break up until the summer.

They gain some recognition, slowly but steadily. The first few times, it was exciting to even see a crowd of people at their shows, which were usually performances of other artists' hit songs. It was thrilling to hear their names screamed out, to know that the nation was beginning to recognize their faces. But there were also negative responses, though that was only to be expected.

Part of it was because they were so young. There were many doubters who questioned their talent and claimed that they couldn't match up to the original artists. And there were those who criticized their choices, entering the entertainment industry at such a young age. This time, many claimed, was the perfect time to study, and they shouldn't be wasting it like this.

It's hard, juggling school and this performance business, but Yifan doesn't want to give up either. Now that he's had a taste of the way it feels to be onstage, he doesn't quite want to let it go.

It's especially difficult for Joonmyun, though. This year's finals, for Joonmyun, will determine the middle school that Joonmyun will go to, which will in turn determine the rest of his life.

But somehow, they make it, and after months of small performances and the company's teasers, they're getting prepared for their debut stage.

Yifan has already been onstage multiple times, so he's used to the heady rush when he steps into the spotlight. But none of the previous performances could prepare him for their debut stage.

He's messed up a few times the past few months, and he’s taken those lessons to heart, learning exactly what the public likes and dislikes. But this time, he can't afford to mess up. This is the real beginning of his career, and there's nervous energy in his limbs as he waits for his makeup to be finished.

"You nervous?" Joonmyun steps up behind Yifan with a small smile on his lips.

"A little," Yifan admits. The moment his makeup is finished, he turns around to face Joonmyun and takes his hand. "Are you ready?"

Joonmyun grins widely. "Nope." But he squeezes Yifan's hand tightly.

Yixing comes up behind them. "Hey, we're going up in five minutes. Is everything set?"

Yifan and Joonmyun nod. Although Yixing is the youngest and smallest of the three of them, he is always the one to take the initiative. He is the most talkative of them all, chatting on camera and off camera with a grace that can only come from consistent practice. He's calm even now, gathering them so they can put their hands together and say a phrase of encouragement.

All too soon, the countdown begins. Yifan is surprisingly nervous, and there are so many what if's running through his head--what if he messes up? what if he had practiced the dance moves just one more time? what if they disappoint the audience? what if the company decides they aren't worth it?

But when the countdown reaches zero and they're rushed onstage, he has two of his closest friends by his side and the spotlights above his head. Before him, there are thousands of awaiting fans, and around him, the opening notes to the song are beginning.

Their group name is the XO Boys, and their debut song is titled Spin. It's a simple song and the dance moves aren't complicated, but it's catchy at the same time. The company uses their young ages to an advantage, stressing their youth and making their young energy attractive.

The doubts fade the moment the music starts. Yifan has practiced the dance moves enough times to have it engraved in his mind to the point that he can do it instinctively, even in his sleep. It's like any other practice session, but at the same time, his senses are also heightened, so he's hyperaware of how he's turning, where Yixing and Joonmyun are, and what his next notes are supposed to be.

Joonmyun begins singing, his sweet voice carrying over the crowd, and even though Yifan isn't looking at him, he can imagine his beautiful smile magnified under the stage lights. Yixing joins in on the second verse, and then it's Yifan's turn.

These are words that he's practiced for hours, and this is a song that he doesn't think he could ever forget. When he sings, he forgets about his own doubts and anxieties. He isn't even sure if he hits the right notes, but too soon, they're starting on the chorus, and before long, Joonmyun is singing the last is singing the last verse, the last echo of his voice fading away with the audience's thunderous applause.

They bow and walk offstage, walking into many words of congratulations and smiling faces from all of those who had helped them the past years. Yixing's parents are here, and Yifan briefly laments that his parents aren't here. However, he feels someone take his hand, and he's reminded that he has Joonmyun.

"We did it," Joonmyun says, and Yifan doesn't think the stage lights could have made Joonmyun's smile any brighter.

"Yeah," Yifan echoes. "We did."

The song wasn't even four minutes long, but those four minutes had been like an eternity to him. Even now, he still feels like he's not quite living in his own body, but at the same time, it's a really nice feeling. It's a feeling of success, knowing that all those years of trials and difficulties had been worth it in the end.

They still have an interview after this, when they're formally introduced to the audience as the XO Boys, and they only have a few minutes to prepare for it. There's a flurry of activity backstage as their makeup is redone again, and as they're given last minute advice and encouragement.

Yifan lets out a breath as he stands again. He knows that the worst isn't over. After all, debut is only the beginning.

But somehow, he thinks that he can handle whatever comes next.



They never get a chance to properly celebrate their debut. The moment they get backstage, finished with the interviews and performances, Joonmyun collapses.

One moment, he's smiling and walking towards the table, and the next moment, a soft cry passes his lips and he's falling to the ground.

Yifan is a good distance away, so he doesn't reach him in time. He can only stand by helplessly as staff members immediately start fussing over him.

"Get him to the car and take him to the hospital!" Yifan hears someone say, and he follows behind them.

He doesn't end up in the same car as Joonmyun, since the manager comes over and takes him into his car. They don't talk, and Yifan is left to brood in his thoughts as he stares out the window.

It's dark outside, but the streets are alive with lights, ordinary people going about their ordinary lives. Yifan feels oddly numb as he stares at them, and he can't quite remember normalcy anymore. He was torn away from it when he was too young, and even when he is given some breaks to return home, he can't afford to forget his life as a trainee in TF Entertainment.

He's thankful that he'd met Joonmyun through his training, one of the few upsides to this life. But now, Joonmyun seems too far away, and Yifan doesn't know if he's okay. He wants to be there with him, and he wants to be there to catch him if he falls.

He follows his manager to the hospital, where the nurse assures them that Joonmyun is fine. It's just the stress, she says, and that makes perfect sense.

Their manager doesn't even look worried. He's just looking on his phone, unconcerned as he types out a text. Yifan assumes that this is a normal occurrence for celebrities, that hospital visits will become as frequent as fan meets, but it still bothers him.

Joonmyun is too young to be under so much stress. What if, the next time he falls, he falls at the wrong angle and hits his head? What if he really collapses under the strain?

A hand on his shoulder distracts Yifan from his dark thoughts, and he looks up to see Yixing's understanding eyes. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm not the one injured," Yifan says. The moment he says the words, he wants to take them back. The words are too harsh, and even if it's too late into the night, Yixing is the last person who deserves to hear them. But Yixing only smiles in response.

"You get some rest too. We've all worked hard for this debut. I'm going home with my parents. Take care of him, okay?" Yixing adds, and Yifan nods.

He waves as Yixing walks away, waiting until the younger has left the hospital before turning to ask the nurse where Joonmyun's room is.

Joonmyun is asleep when Yifan steps into the room, looking too small against the white sheets of the bed and the IV drip that is connected to his arm. Yifan sits down next to him and takes his free hand. There are a lot of words that he wants to say, but when he looks down at Joonmyun, at the soft redness of his lips and his long eyelashes, the words get trapped in his throat.

Yifan stares at the wall, and he nearly dozes off when Joonmyun speaks.

"You're here?"

Yifan looks down at Joonmyun, who's smiling weakly up at him. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Joonmyun shakes his head, his hair fanning out on the pillow. There's still stage makeup on his face, smudged from sweat and the previous commotion, and Yifan thinks that he must look like a mess as well. Under the bright hospital lights, Joonmyun's cheeks look too thin, too hollow. "I'm fine." His eyes flicked to the side, where the IV drip is still attached to his arm. "Although I wish that I was awake when they put that in." He turns to face Yifan, and he somehow manages to grin brightly despite his obviously tired look. "Isn't that funny? I've always liked these needles, although I hated taking shots. They never hurt one bit. Except for that one time when a nurse had to poke my veins four times to actually get them in..."

"Shush, go to sleep. I'll stay right here."

"You should sleep too."

"I'll be fine," Yifan says.

"Then sing me to sleep. Please?" Joonmyun adds, when Yifan looks doubtfully at him.

Since Yifan can never really say no to Joonmyun, he complies, singing one of Jay Chou's old songs softly.

"You have a nice voice," Joonmyun mumbles, yawning widely. "You should sing more often."

"Go to sleep," Yifan says, squeezing Joonmyun's hand gently.

Joonmyun closes his eyes and a few minutes later, his breathing evens out. Yifan tries to stay awake. Outside the door, he sees the manager sleeping in a chair and a nurse walking down the hallways. The hospital is oddly quiet now. Eventually, his eyelids become heavier. The excitement of the day begins to weigh on him, and he falls asleep with his head on Joonmyun's bed. Their hands are still tightly clasped.



Their manager shakes Yifan awake the next morning. "Do you want any breakfast?" he asks, and Yifan shakes his head absently as he squints against the bright lights.

"I'll go get it myself. Thanks."

The manager looks like he's ready to say something else, but then his phone rings and he mumbles a quick excuse before leaving the room. Yifan sighs as he sits up, rolling his neck to try to ease the pain from having it bent at such an awkward angle the whole night. He doesn't even want to start thinking about what they have to do today.

Joonmyun stirs then, his eyes opening. The IV drip is gone, and he smiles sweetly at Yifan. "Good morning."

"Morning." Yifan's voice comes out in a croak, and he clears his throat before asking, "Do you want anything to eat?"

"Sure." Yifan stands up to leave, but Joonmyun grabs his wrist before he can go. "Actually... can you go to my middle school?"

Yifan looks down at him. "Your middle school?"

Joonmyun nods, sitting up in the bed. "The results of the final exam should be out."

"Okay, I'll go check."

Yifan tells the manager that Joonmyun is awake and wants breakfast before taking the subway to Joonmyun's middle school. He probably looks awful, with his wrinkled clothes and messy hair and messier makeup, but there aren't many people up this early in the morning and his mind is only focused on his destination.

He'd known that Joonmyun had studied hard before the final exam, and Joonmyun had even told him that he wanted to attend the same high school as Yifan. But Yifan hadn't thought that all of this would take so much out of Joonmyun, that no matter how strong he was sometimes, he is still a kid. Actually, they all are.

Yifan feels nervous when he walks into the middle school to look at the scores. There are some other students there already, and they're all crowded around the results. Yifan scans the list for Joonmyun's class, where all of the students' scores are listed in order, and he can't stop the smile that splits his face when he sees that Joonmyun made the top fifty in his grade.

He runs to the subway station, and even the subway comes too slowly for him. He rushes to Joonmyun's hospital room, excitement in his veins as he throws open the door.

Joonmyun looks up at him, eyes wide and chopsticks centimeters away from his mouth, frozen by Yifan's sudden entrance.

"You made it," Yifan blurts out as he walks into the room. "You made the top fifty. Good job."

Joonmyun smiles, relief clear on his features. "That's good." He sets his bowl down to the side so he can take Yifan's hand. "We'll be together, right?" he asks, and Yifan smiles back at him.

"Of course we will."