After a while Jaesun gave up on trying to avoid Hoya. On trying to even think about avoiding him. It simply wasn’t happening. He was here to stay, whether she liked it or not. And she did like it, on the inside.

For the most part, their interactions remained tied to the conspiracy, nothing more. Occasionally Dongwoo would take her out to meet Hoya for friendly and social visits, but those were still the minority.

Then, finally, one day, Hoya paid a visit to her on his own. It was nearing the end of her shift at work, when he strolled into the tavern. She was just about to carry a tray out to a customer when she saw him, and once she did, she stopped dead in her tracks.

He sat down and looked around, as if searching for someone. Who else could it be but her?

Well, she had work to do, and she couldn’t loiter long or the cook would yell at her, so she marched out with the tray, determined not to make contact with Hoya unless absolutely necessary.

She set her tray down in front of the waiting customer, a man perhaps five years older than her. He thanked her, and as he did, his hand slid over hers. This wasn’t the first time something of the sort had happened. Honestly, it was hard for her to understand why it even did since she didn’t think herself that attractive. Perhaps men thought tavern maids were loose women as a general rule.

Either way, Jaesun was not amused. She would have whipped out a dagger and plunged it through the man’s sleeve and into the table to give him a fright, but that would have cost the girl her job, and the last thing she needed as a member of the conspiracy was to draw unwanted attention.

Just as she was about to open to discourage the man from such gestures, Hoya came up behind them, looming above the man. “Sir, if you could kindly release your hold on this young lady, that would be greatly appreciated.” Although he spoke with the utmost courtesy, there was an undertone of bubbling displeasure that caused the man to gulp and pull his hand away hastily.

“Enjoy your meal,” Jaesun said, and she almost said it without any irony since she felt sorry for the man.

When she turned, Hoya was sitting back down at his own table, and she went over to him. “How may I help you?”

“Stay away from his lot,” he suggested.

“Gladly,” she answered, laughing. “You didn’t need to do that. I could have handled it.”

“I figured giving him a nice scare would be good though.”

“I think you did a good job of that. Anyway, are you actually going to order anything? If not, I have to go serve someone else or I’ll get yelled at or docked pay.”

Hoya ended up ordering some soup and some ale. She communicated the order to the kitchen and then went to take someone else’s order. Eventually, she got around to delivering his order to him, and he smiled and thanked her.

Seeing him smile made her heart skip a beat, and she had to remind herself that he was just a customer to her right now.

It didn’t take him all that long to finish, and by that time, her shift was over as well.

“Would you like to take a stroll with me?” Hoya asked.

“I guess I have the time,” she replied, noncommittally. “Give me a moment.” She went to her small room to put away her serving apron and head cover and returned. “We can go now.”

It was getting late. The sun had almost set completely, so there was little natural light. Candles lit the way wherever they went, but those were sparsely distributed.

“I’m surprised you manage to juggle your work at the tavern and your other work,” Hoya said. He didn’t say what her ‘other work’ was, just in case someone was listening. “It seems like you’d have no time to rest.”

“I am always gathering information, whether I am actually ‘working’ on those things or not,” Jaesun replied. Just earlier, everything had seemed fine, but now she was beginning to grow irritated.

“I see.” They turned down a darker alley, which was empty of life.

“Why are you always questioning me?” she asked. “It’s as if everything I do I have to justify myself for, and every skill of mine is another way for you to test me. Why do you care so much?”

“I—”

She cut him off. “It’s not my imagination. You’re always watching me, as if you’re expecting me to make a mistake or do something out of line.”

It was like all of Jaesun’s frustration at herself, at her lack of progress, at the conspiracy’s lack of progress, at Hoya and his infuriatingly confusing behavior, and at her own messy feelings for him were overwhelming her and making her blood boil. She just wanted to lash out at the world, at something, at someone.

Without thinking, Jaesun whipped out one of her daggers, but before she could do anything with it, Hoya caught her hand. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, shocked. His free hand was gripping her shoulder, and she was suddenly aware that he was very close to her.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. Her entire world was spinning out of control, and she desperately needed an anchor. Forgetting everything else, she rose on her tip-toes and kissed Hoya full on the lips. The hand gripping her arm let go in surprise. Then laughing and crying, she pulled away from him and ran away into the night, back in the direction they had come.

***

The next day was an important day, something Jaesun figured out pretty quickly. She almost didn’t want to attend the meeting, but she knew she had to. Everyone was gathered in the meeting room.

Once all of the people had settled down, Sungyeol spoke. “It’s pretty much time that we take more directed action against the council. We have assigned certain people to certain tasks, some more important than others, but all of which are vital to the success of our plans.”

He began to read out names of the conspiracy members and who or what or where they were being assigned to. Jaesun waited for her name, and she didn’t hear it for the longest time.

“And then, there’s the last of the infiltrations, located in the palace itself, close to the council and the king. For this job, we decided it would be best to send a girl.”

At this, Jaesun perked up, excited. They were giving her the best job, it seemed.

“And for that position, we have chosen someone who wasn’t formerly in the conspiracy. She’s new. However, she’s more than willing to dedicate herself to the cause, and she learns fast, so we are confident she will succeed.”

Everyone was confused, and they glanced at Jaesun, wondering the same thing she was wondering. “What about me?” she demanded. “You didn’t forget me, did you?”

“You’re doing all of the decoding work and managing everyone’s information and passing it along,” Sungyeol explained. “Basically, you’re second to me and Hoya.”

A desk job? They were giving her a desk job? After all that she had been through, all that she had trained for and learned, all the time she had grudgingly waited patiently? Despite knowing what she wanted, more than anything else?

To say she was upset would have been gross understatement. She felt as if she had worked so hard for her goal only to have it all snatched away from her.

Jaesun was about to begin her protesting tirade, but Sungyeol shook his head. Hoya appeared at her side, grabbing her by the arm. “We can talk somewhere else,” he said into her ear. In her moment of anger she had all but forgotten what she had done the previous night.

They went outside, behind the tavern, where it was currently deserted.

“What the hell was that about?” Jaesun demanded. She didn’t care if anyone heard her swearing. Propriety was the least of her concerns at the moment. “Why am I getting a desk job? I thought I’d be actually doing something. Sungyeol has known from the beginning what I wanted. Why didn’t I get that job? Why are you giving it to some random girl who apparently isn’t even fully prepared?”

“Because I didn’t think you were right for the job,” Hoya said, quietly.

“What?”

“They wanted me to find someone who would fit the role perfectly. That was my purpose in coming here. It’s why you’ve never seen me around before. I’ve always worked higher up.”

“Higher up,” she repeated. “How much higher is ‘higher up’? Who are you, exactly? To the conspiracy? Who are you, period?”

“I’m second in the chain of command after the primary decision makers. For the whole conspiracy.”

She stared at him. “Wait, but that means you’re a—“

“A noble, yes.”

All of a sudden Jaesun felt horribly stupid. How had she not seen it? His manners, his speech—he had managed to pick up the city accent, but he was like Sungyeol, it didn’t sound natural, of course it didn’t, but for a different reason—his air of authority. His skill at fighting. The fact that Sungyeol answered to him. Back at the beginning Sungyeol had said he had connections to the nobility. She had never thought to link Hoya to that. She had simply though he was a conspiracy member from another city or region.

“So why am I not good enough?” she asked, her voice dangerously soft.

“It’s not your skill or competence or anything of that sort,” Hoya said, sighing.

“Then why?” She had to prevent herself from wailing.

“You’re too unstable. You proved that much last night. Sungyeol had his doubts after that one outburst of yours.” Seeing her look, he explained, “He told me about it after it happened. I wasn’t there, of course.” That meant he knew about her sister. “We feel like if we sent you, you would jeopardize everything by letting your emotions get the better of you.”

There was a long silence.

“So everything I accused you of was true.”

“Yes.” The look on Hoya’s face was tinged with regret. “But there’s another reason I always watched you.”

In spite of herself, Jaesun’s breath caught for a moment. He stepped forward and leaned down to kiss her.

And as much as she wanted to push him and away and curse him and tell him that she hated him for his lies and his decision and his betrayal, she found that she couldn’t. So instead, she clung to him, tears flowing freely down her face.

She couldn’t give up here. Perhaps she would not be able to take her revenge directly. But she would continue on and make everything she wanted happen, using whatever methods she could, from whatever position anyone gave her. It was the least she could do for her sister and her kingdom. And now, for Hoya.

When Jaesun finally broke away from Hoya, she was breathless and also a bit dizzy. She heard him repeating her name, and then everything dissolved into a void.