Instead of opening her eyes and seeing the train in front of her, as she expected, the girl with the missing memories found herself still occupying Jaesun’s mind. She was secretly glad of this since she wasn’t quite ready to let go of this life. Spending so much time experiencing the lives of these people had caused her to grow attached to them, even though they were in a different world entirely, and she wasn’t even sure if they were real.

When Jaesun came to consciousness again, she was lying in someone’s bed. Blinking her eyes, she looked around to get her bearings. It was the room Dongwoo lived in at his friend’s house. How had she ended up here? She couldn’t remember.

Then her mind took her back to the meeting room at the tavern, and it all returned to her.

“Oh, you’re finally awake!” Dongwoo came in the door holding a tray of food. “I was really worried about you.”

“Jaesoo,” she uttered. “Her killer is still out there, pulling strings, ruining the kingdom, killing off innocents.”

“I know,” her cousin replied, sounding weary. “But making a mess out of your own well-being and throwing yourself into suicidal situations won’t do either of you any good.”

“There’s something I don’t understand,” Jaesun said, frowning.

“What?” Dongwoo handed her one of the bowls on the tray, and she began to scarf it all down. She was quite hungry, she realized.

“How did my sister’s body get back to our house?” she asked between bites.

Dongwoo blinked. “Ah, right. The man mentioned that later, after you fainted. The dead man didn’t want to just toss her body anywhere, so he hid the body and went around to ask servants in the palace if they knew someone that matched that description. Then he handed off the body to someone else with the girl’s address hoping he wouldn’t die early and tried to forget what had happened.”

Jaesun finished eating and set the bowl down on the table with a loud thunk.

“I can wait a bit longer on avenging my sister. But once the time is ripe, I am not holding back.”

“Do us all a favor and don’t get yourself killed in the meantime,” Dongwoo advised, giving her a hug.

She hugged him back. Instead of letting go a few moments later, however, she remained latched onto him. Tears began to flow from her eyes, falling onto his shirt. It was the first time she had wept since her sister had died. Up until now, she had remained stonily dry-eyed, determined not to let her sister’s murderer gain another win by making her cry.

“She’s never coming back,” Jaesun sobbed, her voice coming out as a hoarse wail. “She didn’t get to find her own happiness and get married and have children—they would have been my nieces and nephews. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I hadn’t even seen in her in months and months. It’s just not fair.”

Dongwoo patted her back and smoothed her hair gently. “It wasn’t her time, and that is unfortunate. But we are working to give her the justice she deserves, so don’t lose hope. You owe it to her to keep living your own life. She would have wanted you to be happy.”

“It’s hard to be happy,” Jaesun said. “I’m not you, the big ball of sunshine who can see the bright side of anything and laugh at every small thing. 

“You don’t have to be me,” her cousin countered. “You just have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and that nothing’s over unless you decide it is. If you choose to hold onto your sadness and anger, then you will not be able to get over the pain. Jaesoo is no longer in this world with us. That is an unchangeable fact. However, you are still here, alive and well, and you still have a future, so you have to do your best to make it a good one.”

“I’ll try to forget,” she sighed as she let go of Dongwoo. He rested a comforting hand on her shoulder briefly before rising and leaving the room.

***

Following Dongwoo’s advice, Jaesun tried to let go of the sorrow and rage that had gripped her for so long. It was difficult since they had kept her company, even kept her afloat, from her sister’s death until the present.

She managed to push all of it aside, but instead of making her a happier person, it changed her into something else. For the most part, she felt a general numbness to life and her surroundings. Perhaps she had spent so much effort attempting to purge herself of those negative emotions that she had erased away her ability to feel much of anything at all. The only thing that produced any sort of notable response or passion in her was her work as a spy because she knew that with each step she took, she was closer to meting out justice and rectifying the corruption of the kingdom.

***

One day, however, the iciness of her heart melted, just a little.

She and Dongwoo were practicing their fighting skills near the edge of the city when Sungyeol came along. He often dropped in on their practices to observe or chat or join in. As Dongwoo’s friend and one of the leaders among the commoners’ conspiracy, Jaesun had a grudging respect toward him, and perhaps she considered him a friendly acquaintance. All she knew was that he had similar feelings to her. They were both driven by the same general goals and desires.

This time, the boy wasn’t alone. He had brought along someone else that Jaesun did not recognize from any of the meetings. He wasn’t nearly as tall as Sungyeol, but he was still taller than Dongwoo. Unlike like either Dongwoo and Sungyeol, he had a broader and thicker frame, but she could tell that it was muscle rather than fat that filled it. His eyebrows were prominent and thick, his jaw and cheekbones were sharply-defined, and his solemn eyes carried a hint of steel in them. The way he carried himself radiated stability and authority. He was not anyone people would cross lightly, for certain.

She and Dongwoo stopped to greet Sungyeol and the stranger. “Is he a new recruit?” Jaesun asked, nodding her head at the boy standing next to Sungyeol.

He snorted. ”Hardly.” His neighbor glared at him, for reasons Jaesun couldn’t even begin to guess at. “This is Howon, and he’s been a part of this longer than I have.”

“How come we’ve never met him before?” Dongwoo asked, glancing at Howon curiously.

“He’s been doing a different line of work from us,” Sungyeol explained, perhaps a little too hastily.

“Ah, I see.”

Jaesun remembered her manners and extended her hand to the newcomer. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Jaesun.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Jaesun,” he replied. Instead of shaking the proffered hand, however, Howon bowed, then took her hand and kissed the back of her fingers.