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Family

Did you ever wonder what family means? What its purpose was? Did you ever? I did. After crack after crack started to show I began to seek for the meaning. Did you? What have you found? It's hard. Let me tell you: family gives you pain, causes despair and is bitter-sweet. Once you have family, you'd lost and won at the same time. Confusing? Yes. That's how the world is.

A day in February.

With a loud thud the door felt into its lock. Outside darkness reigned, hiding things people did. Inside of one of the many houses that drew the line between street and river, a small lamp lightened a room. The ticking of the clock in the kitchen seemed unnaturally loud, more than the shuffling feet coming down the floor. A woman stood up, hands on her hips and looked in the direction of the noises.

«Dare to explain where you were?» The question sounded strained in the silence following after. A hunched figure appeared in the door frame, reeking of alcohol. Rain drops fell to the ground, leaving dark spots. «Jus' ou'side», the man slurred and slumped in the couch.

«Outside», the woman repeated. «At two o'clock in the morning?» At the end she raised her voice in anger. «Don' be loud, darling. Our kids are sleepin',» her husband complained, grabbing a pillow.

«As if you care,» she snorted and switched on the light. A grunt was heard. «Shut up, you have no right to act as someone who did nothing wrong!»

«I's the truth,» he mumbled, scrunching up his nose. «You al'ays say I should work harder. You don' even care 'bout some hardships I have to 'ndure.»

She turned him his back, arms crossed over her chest. «Life is no bed of roses, Siwon,» she answered sternly. «I thought we had that discussion already? We both wish only the best for our children. We need to work hard to give them the luxury we have right now.»

«I's not 'cause of the chil'ren,» her husband stated. «You wanna live well. You find it a disgrace wearin' somethin' cheaper compared to your friend's. Was always like that. Never changed...»

«I don't want to listen to your nonsense,» she announced and shook her head. «Stop drinking. The kids are worried, especially Younha. You know how fond she is of you. What will happen if she finds out her father is an alcoholic?» She did not wait for his answer and went into the kitchen to make tea.

Silence filled the house again. But like in films where the real thing started after an abrupt stop of the discussion you would all have guessed that that was not all. I know. This was only the beginning.

After a few minutes passed the man stood up. His gaze moved everywhere and his walk was unsteady as he took step after step. From the kitchen the sound of heating water could be heard. «Why do ya always treat me like 'n idiot?» he wanted to know. The effect of alcohol vanished slowly. «I fulfil all of your wishes, treat you like a queen and do everything for you and our daughters. What else do you want?» He sounded desperate. Angered, she turned around. «So I'm the bad one here?» she asked sarcastically. «Of course, I forgot: Choi Siwon the great chef manager of a global firm. The perfect business man. I'm sorry for looking down on you, sir.»

«Stella!»

She flinched. Never did he raise his voice before. Things began to change. «What?»

«I wasn't the one flirtin' with the higher-ups,» he sneered, arms crossed, brows furrowed. «Don' you dare judge me when you're no better!»

«Now we're on the same level?» She laughed in disbelieve. «Have some pride, man! At least what I did was for us. You on the other hand act selfishly. I know of your little tête-à-tête with your secretary. Oh, classical drama it is. You put me on shame being intimate with some lowly-class woman!»

Her husband's eyes widened. «Lowly-class?» he repeated. «Just 'cause others have less money than us we're no better. When will you understand?» His last words sounded exhausted. He sank on a chair and put his head in his hands.

«You've made a mistake, not me,» she stated and stirred her tea. That was her. To blame others, not herself. She was capable of hurting people close to her just for her benefit. Nobody could be safe. Everybody could be a target. Even herself.

That was my mother.

«I didn't!» he shouted frustrated. «If I hadn't done what I did I would have lost a competent secretary. The company wouldn't have been able to take the loss!» The man gritted his teeth. He was stubborn. So very stubborn. Besides his daughters his pride was the most important. His biggest weakness. Controlling his life.

That was my father.

«Understand me,» he plead suddenly, grabbing his wife's hands. She did not answer. «Please, forgive me,» he begged. «I can't stand you giving me the cold shoulder.»

She lifted her head. «Where's your pride, Siwon? You aren't one to beg – never. It must be because of the alcohol...»

«Enough!» Furious he hit the table. «I have enough. Even if I beg you won't forgive me? Fine. Do what you want. I don't care. Shall rumours spread. You're already a . Heard it? !»

A slapping sound could be heard followed by dinnerware. Warm tea out-poured on the ground, broken pieces of porcelain scattered around. Without sparing him a glance she removed his hands from hers and left the room. «Don't forget to switch off the lights,» she reminded emotionless before going to bed. Her husband covered his face and cursed quietly.

That was only the beginning. They did not know they navigated right to my death. The world is a funny place.

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I present you the next chapter~

I know the chapters are kind of short but with the actual start they get longer (I hope) :P