Sixteen

Just Smile and Make Believe (I don't feel a thing)

When Mark woke, he felt horrible. He wasn’t sure if he’d just slept poorly, or if it had something to do with the kiss he’d shared with Zhou Mi.

“You look horrible,” Jackson said when Mark sat down in front of his laptop to talk to him through skype. “Is everything okay over there?”

Mark tried to force a smile, but he knew it felt short. “Things are … it’s okay.”

Jackson, who was lounging on his bed with his own laptop in front of him, rolled to his back and heaved a deep sigh. “I hate it when you say you’re okay. You’re never okay when you say you’re okay.” Jackson rolled back to make eye contact. “I worry about you, and I don’t like what I’m seeing.”

“I guess some things happened that I wasn’t prepared for. Some things that … I never thought could happen, or at least not the way they did.” Things were changing. Things were getting more muddled, less clear, and it was all the fuel Mark’s anxiety needed. And it wasn’t just the stuff with Zhou Mi, either.

“Well, I’m not there to nag you,” Jackson said. “So nag yourself? Take care of yourself. You only have to deal with this for a couple more days, right?”

Mark gave him a strong nod, anxious to get back to Hawthorne. “My introduction is nothing. That’s an all night thing. And then I’ll spend tomorrow with my uncle, going over some important, legal things, but I’ll be back at Hawthorne just after that. Want to go on a date when I do?”

The more Mark thought about his situation with Zhou Mi, the more he was certain what he needed was space from the man. People developed feelings for each other all the time, and usually when they were thrown together into severe or special circumstances. Mark had been forced to lean on Zhou Mi, use him for stability, and trust him. It was maybe only natural his affection for the man would turn into something more out of necessity. But he wasn’t looking for a clichéd love triangle of any sorts, and he was genuinely, truly, happy with Jackson. So in order to bypass his feelings for Zhou Mi developing any further, he planned to put distance between them.

Mark wasn’t even sure how often he’d seen Zhou Mi after his introduction. All hints and evidence pointed to Zhou Mi having to return to his family after his match with Mark ended. Maybe he’d still attend Hawthorne, but even that wasn’t certain.

All Mark had to do was push Zhou Mi to keep his lips to himself, and put some real distance between them. It hurt to sacrifice a friendship that Mark had put so much into, and valued so much, but the alternative was sacrificing his relationship with Jackson. And that wasn’t going to happen.

Jackson gave him a cheeky smile. “You asking me out on a date?”

“Well,” Mark drawled out, feeling a little better, “technically we are dating already. But I just realized that every time we go out and do anything, you’re the one who suggests it. You pay for everything, too. So I want to take you out. I want to plan it. You game for that?”

Jackson made a fluttering motion with his hand, fanning himself. “Is this what it feels like when I make you swoon?”

“You dork.” Finally Mark’s grin felt real. “Don’t you have to get to class soon?”

Jackson’s eyes flickered away from the computer for a second and he admitted, “You’re forgetting the time difference. You’re way ahead of me. But I’m supposed to meet Yugyeom and the others for breakfast, later. And I should probably finish the last of my homework due to day … and there’s that geometry test in about five hours I was thinking about studying for.”

“Then go,” Mark urged, getting to his feet. “I’ll skype you again before I’m set to head home.”

“I miss you,” Jackson called. “And don’t forget to kick tonight!.”

With the short but enjoyable call over, Mark headed directly to his window and hit the button on the side to raise the slats that protected the room from the light of the sun. When the slates were fully open he could see outside that the driveway was blissfully free of all of the catering trucks and delivery companies that had flooded the house a night before. It gave Mark enough courage to venture out of his room from an iron tablet and a glass of water.

For the most part he was hoping to avoid Zhou Mi until later that night. And it probably wouldn’t be that hard. Mark had seen his uncle’s itinerary, and it clearly stated that guests were scheduled to start arriving with an hour or two. Zhou Mi would no doubt be out to mingle with them, help them whoever he could, and to represent Mark however necessary. Zhou Mi’s usefulness and thoughtfulness was not lost on Mark, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

Kyuhyun was scheduled to be attending the introduction, and Mark hoped he could catch him before the actual event.

He was on his way down the twisty hallways towards the kitchen to at least try and stomach something when he came across a furious voice hissing in what was barely a whisper. Mark inched himself forward carefully, being as silent as possible, and then peeked around a corner.

There was his uncle. The tall, intense man was easy to spot. But so was the form of Zhou Mi, looking the least at peace that Mark had ever seen. His body was all tense, shoulders pulling together and neck muscles straining.

He heard his uncle snap, “--get him under control. This was your one task.”

Zhou Mi was taller than Mark’s uncle and he used his height in a surprising move, crowding in to whisper back, “I am not his keeper. You’re asking me to be.”

Mark held his breath. What were they talking about? What would his uncle and Zhou Mi actually have to discuss in the first place?

He was so lost in the possibilities that he barely caught his uncle arguing back, “I’m losing control of him. He’s becoming too independent. I won’t have it.”

“He’s a man now,” Zhou Mi said coolly. “He’ll be much more in a very short while. You should start to consider that he won’t be told what to do.”

His uncle snorted. “The idea is laughable. He’s still a child. A new title won’t make him any less.”

Oh god. Were they talking about him?

Mark drew back slightly. How could he be the subject? How could his uncle be talking about him so callously? And Zhou Mi? Zhou Mi had always been his strongest advocate, next to Henry. The idea that he’d been faking it the entire time was … heartbreaking. No, Mark had to be hearing things wrong. No one was that good of an actor.

“Going off at all times,” Mark’s uncle continued, “keeping things from me. This is the kind of behavior that I won’t stand for.”

Zhou Mi shrugged. “He’s his own man now. I know it must cause you great distress to know this, but that does not negate the truth of it. I can no more control him than I can you. Not anymore.”

Mark felt like such a fool.

His uncle’s voice rose as he said, “I gave you what you wanted. I gave you the promise you wanted to hear and I made everything happen for you. I suggest you keep your end of the bargain. Without me you wouldn’t have anything. And need I remind you that you don’t get anything else until I’m satisfied?”

This couldn’t be happening.

“It’s a bargain I made out of necessity. And I didn’t do it for myself.”

“Regardless, you made it. Now get him under control or I’ll expose the truth to your prize.”

How could this be true? How could … Mark felt like hyperventilating.

“It won’t be easy,” Zhou Mi said.

His uncle asked, “You want your money, don’t you? Then find a way.”

Everything he’d thought he’d known was a lie. People were still, after so long, lying to him. And the hurt was worse than anything he could have imagined. Maybe it just hurt the most because it came from people he cared for.

Before he could hear anything else Mark took off as fast as he’d come. He raced away, not caring a bit if his feet were heavy on the carpet or not. He descended the grand staircase two or three steps at a time and crashed through the front doors.

His feet were a blur under him as he dashed across the lawn and away from the house.

He’d never felt so betrayed. Not in a way he knew with such certainty.

Racing down towards the lake, Mark didn’t know where he was going, or what he was going to do. He only knew he had to get away. He had to get away right then and there.

He didn’t pick up on the presence behind him until he was to the edge of uncle’s property and the lake was in sight. Mark had only a second’s warning before he was caught around his waist, lifted off his feet and held tightly.

“Shh,” a soothing voice whispered in his ear. “Mark. Stop.”

Mark ignored the voice. He fought and kicked and struggled with every bit of strength he had.

“Mark,” Zhou Mi said, hugging him tighter than he’d ever dared before.

“Get off me!” Mark screamed, desperate to get away. “Get your traitorous hands off me you prick!” He threw a hard elbow into Zhou Mi’s face and scored the best hit of his life. Zhou Mi let him go immediately with a groan of pain.

Mark stumbled forward, barely catching himself, as he was released. Then he breathing hard, gasping for air, and everything felt too suffocating. He was drowning in emotions, and the pain was fierce and terrible.

His strength left him all at once and he went slowly to his knees, staring up at Zhou Mi with the most poisonous glare he could muster up. It must have been something lethal because Zhou Mi gave a visible cringe. Mark noted his nose was already swelling.

“Mark,” Zhou Mi tried again.

“Don’t you even speak to me,” Mark huffed out, slowly getting his breath back. “Don’t you even ing look at me.” He wondered if he could muster up one last bit of strength to dodge past Zhou Mi. Maybe if he could get to the lake …

“You’ve misunderstood,” Zhou Mi said calmly. “I know that you overhead the conversation between myself and your uncle, correct? You’ve misunderstood, I assure you. Let me explain to you what we were speaking about.”

“I’ve misunderstood?” Mark choked out. “You’re right. I’ve misunderstood. Because I thought you were one of the most loyal, trustworthy, respectable people I’d ever met in my life. I thought that you were someone I could put all my faith in and not have to risk anything in doing that. I didn’t think you were some stringing me along for whatever deal you made--to get whatever you wanted.”

And he’d felt something for Zhou Mi. The idea made him sick now, that he’d had any sort of romantic feelings for the man in front of him.

Zhou Mi, frustrated, implored, “Let me explain--”

“Get him under control!” Mark shouted, louder than ever. “That’s what my uncle told you to do. To get me under control. And then you can have your money!”

Mark twisted his hands up into his hair. How could he have been such an idiot? How could he have not seen what was in front of him from the start? Zhou Mi had always been too perfect. He’d been the kind of person that didn’t really exist, and Mark had been so desperate to believe he was real that he’d now gone and made an absolute fool of himself.

“You were not the party in question.”

“I …” Mark jerked back. “What?”

“Henry was the topic of the conversation.”

Henry? How was that possible?

Sensing his confusion, Zhou Mi offered Mark a hand up and said, “Your uncle has nearly perfected the method he employs in keeping the people nearest him under his control. Henry is the perfect example. Henry has spent nearly his whole life doing what your uncle wants. He’s always acted and thought and lived the way your uncle expects. But lately Henry has been starting to exercise some real independence. Your uncle was asking me to get Henry under control. His control.”

Slowly Mark reached out and put his hand in Zhou Mi’s, getting to his feet. “Why would uncle be asking you to do that?”

“Because Henry listens to me,” Zhou Mi said. “He values my opinion and insight. More than that, he trusts me, and I suspect Henry no longer trusts his father.”

Mark prompted, still feeling utterly defensive, “The deal? What kind of deal did you make with him? Was it for money?”

Zhou Mi tugged Mark close, close enough that he could put both his hands on Mark’s shoulders and look down at him to say, “He asked me to follow Henry around this term. He wanted me to attempt to influence him, but more than that, he wanted me to repot back Henry’s activities and if he left campus for any reason or length of time.”

That was … more than unexpected. Mark had spent weeks now, maybe longer than, suspecting that his uncle was having him watched. But for it to be Henry under surveillance?

“Why?”

“I’m unsure,” Zhou Mi admitted. “But you should understand that I am not a liar. When I told you that my loyalty is to you, I absolutely meant it. I’ve been using this arrangement to keep an eye on the both of them, in order to better protect you. I don’t know what sort of game the two of them are playing, but in light of Lord Kyuhyun’s recent accusations …”

Mark’s eyes narrowed. “But you’re also loyal to Henry. I know you are. You’ve been covering for him, for whatever he’s been doing.”

“I have,” Zhou Mi said with a nod. “Because while I have my doubts about your uncle, I do not have them about Henry. And he gave me his sworn word to do his best to protect you if I kept his greatest secret. That secret is worth that much to him.”

Mark asked, “Is that the kind of secret that my uncle would want to know about?”

“It is a secret,” Zhou Mi said, finally releasing Mark, “that he would pay a king’s fortune to know. But it would place your cousin in great harm if he did know, and Lady Amber, as they are not yet married.”

Mark let himself drift again. What kind of secret was that? A secret effected by marriage? More importantly, why were all these people playing their games with each other when there were humans running around killing them in precise strikes?

“Mark,” Zhou Mi called, “I will always place you as my number one priority, but I care deeply for Henry. He is a great friend and I won’t let anything happen to him, either. I’m continuing the charade with you uncle out of necessity, nothing else. When you are the head of your family, it will be safer for me to expose the situation for what it is.”

Now Mark felt like a fool for a different reason.

But there was still one thing left bothering him.

“What are you supposed to be getting out of the agreement? My uncle mentioned money.”

It was always money. Everything always came down to money.

Mark hated money.

He could tell that the question had been completely unexpected and Zhou Mi had no immediate response. Then there was a flush of shame and Mark knew it was going to be something terrible.

“I,” Zhou Mi started, then stopped.

“It had to be something good, right? Your prize?”

“I am not the honorable man you think I am,” Zhou Mi said, head bowed.

“Tell me.” This, Mark suspected, would break something between the two of them.

Without pretense, Zhou Mi gestured back to the house in the distance. “This house, the sprawling estate, it’s but a taste of the wealth tied to your family, Mark. When you inherit the head of the family seat on the council, when you become an adult in vampire society, you’ll inherit that wealth as well.”

Zhou Mi had no idea, but Mark had seen the numbers. He’d seen on average what his family made in a year, and it was a staggering number. Because financial records were available to council members, Mark suspected he could look into the finances of other family families with ease. But there was also a sinking suspicion that not many of them would be anywhere near what Mark’s family was worth.

“Then my uncle’s paying you to spy on Henry?” Mark assumed.

Zhou mi said, “My family carries with it all the grace and dignity that a pureblood family is expected to have. Yet none of the wealth.”

That was right. Henry had told Mark that Zhou Mi had essentially been sold to the fourth family. The thirteenth family had gotten an insane amount of money in return, but the head of that family also had an issue with handling money properly. Henry said the hundred million dollars Mark’s family had traded for Zhou Mi, had been gone within a few years. No doubt the thirteenth family was in search of more.

Mark repeated, “You’re spying for money.” For money. Mark wanted to scoff.

“In a way,” Zhou Mi said in an elusive way.

Mark crossed his arms and turned away in frustration.

Only a beat later Zhou Mi was saying, “In exchange for keeping an eye on Henry, and returning him to your uncle’s influence, your uncle insured to me that through whatever means necessary, you would be mine. And with our match comes an additional clause to our contract.”

Mark took a strong step backwards.

Zhou Mi continued, “Before I met you at the start of the term, before I got to know you and love you as I do, I was absolutely desperate to secure our match. Marrying you will ensure that my family is well taken care of financially, and that was all I could see at the moment. Your uncle promised me you, and that he would deal with any obstacles in our way to the alter.”

“What clause?” Mark demanded, feeling lightheaded. “What damn clause in our contract?”

Zhou Mi looked down to the ground in continued guilt, and then finally said, “My family, the thirteenth, received a substantial amount when the match was first agreed upon. By my family gets an additional sum of money when we formally fulfill the requirements of our match and exchange the bracelets that bind us together forever. It’s a sum equal to what my family was presented with when the match was first initiated.”

So essentially, if Mark understood correctly, Zhou Mi had valued their relationship at a hundred million dollars. Zhou Mi had followed him around, befriended him, put romantic pressure on him, tried to run Jackson off, and lied right to his face, so that his family could have more money.

“You,” Mark said, but didn’t know what else to say. What did one say to a person who had made such a bargain? “Wanted to play both sides then? You wanted to stay loyal to Henry and keep his secrets, but you also wanted to use my uncle to take away any choice I might have in who I marry? So you could have money.”

Flatly, Zhou Mi said, “I told you I was not the honorable man you believed me to be.”

“You know how important something like that is me! Not being used! Having people I can trust and believe in!”

“This bargain,” Zhou Mi reminded, “was made before I knew you. Before I knew your spirit. Mark, I agreed to breech your trust before I was in love with you.”


“Don’t you dare say that to me,” Mark said, voice trembling. “Don’t you ing dare.”

“Mark.” Zhou Mi reached for him and Mark jerked away violently.

“Don’t you ever, and I mean even, say that to me again.”

Bluntly, Zhou Mi replied, “It’s the truth. I liked you very much when I met you, and before that as well, however I placed my family before you out of necessity. But things are far different now than I ever imagined them to be. You don’t want me to say it because I know you feel something in return and you are hurting due to my actions, but the truth remains. I am in love with you. I’m in love with you and I would still want to marry you even if there wasn’t a single penny you had to give.”

“You are a liar and a fraud,” Mark threw out at him harshly.

Zhou Mi shook his head. “Nothing I ever said to you was untrue. I have never, very deliberately, ever lied to you. And my feels for you are absolute and true.”

“I can’t …” Mark put a hand to his stomach, feeling sick. “I can’t believe I thought for one second, just one, that I might feel something for you that wasn’t brotherly or friendly. I feel like an idiot. I am an idiot.”

Zhou Mi winced.

“You used me,” Mark ground out. “You used me for money. You let my uncle use you for money.” Zhou Mi had made him feel dirty, Mark realized. Absolutely filthy.

“It was not my intention--”

“Stop!” Mark snapped. “Just stop. I can’t even look at you anymore. You make me feel sick. Your face actually makes me feel sick. So don’t talk to me. Don’t be near me. And I need to get away from you before I do actually get sick.”

“Please,” Zhou Mi called after him.

Mark took another step, then restructured his path and edged around Zhou Mi so he was moving steadily towards the house. “You don’t even think about following me.”

Zhou Mi moved after him anyway. “I would never hold you to my foolish bargain now, Mark. The money means nothing to me. I won’t attempt to manipulate you into fulfilling the match.”

“But you would have!”

That was the only part that Mark cared about. If Zhou Mi had had his way, he’d have tricked or coerced Mark into eventually marrying him, all in the name of money.

At least he’d been right in determining Zhou Mi to not be as perfect as he’d originally thought. It was a bittersweet kind of victory.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Zhou Mi tried again, “not even myself. You will dissolve the match, Mark, if it’s what you ultimately desire. And I won’t let your uncle stop you. Then I’ll win your heart fairly.”

“No,” Mark vowed, head shaking, “you’ll never win my heart. Never. Because I could never love someone who could do something like this. Never!” He turned and sprinted back to the house.

He would never love Zhou Mi. He’d never give his heart to someone so deceptive. All of the things he’d been starting to feel for Zhou Mi were gone in an instance, and everything felt like dust blowing away in a harsh wind.

Never, Mark swore. Never.

He didn’t realize that there were tears in his eyes until he was back at the house and striding down the hallway to his room. Mark pushed furiously at the wetness on his cheeks and only wanted one thing in the universe. He wanted to be back at school with Jackson who joked around and messed with everyone, but was always honest and open and never a liar.

He wanted Jackson to make him smile just once more, maybe even laugh.

In his rush to get back to his room, and back to his cell phone where he could shoot Jackson a text and hope to hear from him soon, he miscounted the doors. There were three doors attached to the hallway, all on the left hand side. He recalled there was his room, Henry’s room, and a guest room not being used, and honestly Mark hadn’t paid too much attention to the order they went in, other than the fact that his was in the middle.

But now, blinking through unwanted tears, all worked up and stressed out, he missed passing the first door, miscounted his, and mistook Henry’s for his own.

He threw open the door casually, expecting to meet with an empty room, and instead came up short, his eyes quickly adjusting to the brightness of the occupied room.

And then he saw them, Henry and Amber, his two favorite people in the room, in the most unlikely and compromising situation.

“Mark,” Henry said quickly, deathly pale.

“, Mark,” Amber added.

Mark’s eyes traced Amber’s form, standing at her full height, looking completely normal, aside from her shirt which was pulled up quite far, exposing her stomach which had a notable curve that Mark couldn’t believe had gone unnoticed before.

“Mark,” Henry said again, frozen on the ground in front of Amber, his hands slowly falling from her curved stomach.

“Oh, god,” Mark breathed out. “Amber? Are you pregnant?”

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ROLEMODEL #1
THIS IS AMAZING ^^
littlelamb86 #2
Chapter 24: Your writing is always so realistic in the characters feelings n actions....no instant boom fall in love happily after......keeps me on my toes and I can't wait for the sequel.....I'm kinda rooting for zhou mi though as much as I like Jackson.......keep up the good work
hime-chan #3
I reread this gem instead of studying... How on Earth has this fic not gotten featured yet?
jaecomponents
#4
it's not because i finished this whole thing in, like, three days
no
how could u think that

i feel really shallow and biased for saying this but i came for the henber and stayed for the markson and this is no lie one of the best - if not THE best - fic i have ever read. like, ever. holy in dude
/DUDE/

i think i kinda lowkey fell in love with you and your writing around chapter 5 but now it's chapter 24 and i'm a mess
if i could do something greater than upvoting your story, you bet i would

aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Zico01 #5
Chapter 24: That Was Perfect The plot twist the whole Mark starting to have feelings for Zhoumi got damn I loved it *claps*
darkdeath96
#6
I've actually stumbled on this on your other account in ao3 but I didn't have an account there but I'm glad I found your work here... Let me tell you I got hooked the second I started to read this.. Like I stated in a different story of yours it is hard to find really good reads these days and this one got be so hooked I spent hours in bed not moving just to finish it. I may have pushed away my studying time for this but it was worth it. I am looking forward to the sequel, because of the fact that one THIS MUST NEVER END and two that cliff hanger is killing me. Author-shii you truly are a Genius.
claire_yj #7
Chapter 24: This story is intense but absolutely superb. You had me hooked to it whole day. I must say you are my new favourite author. ♡

I'm usually confined to reading yunjae fics only. But your fantastic story about yunjae in space had me thirsting for more. That's what brought me here and I'm absolutely thrilled that I did. I'm now more open to fics with other pairings, thanks to you.

I felt a lot for zhoumi's character. He is such a loyal and loving character I totally fell for him. And I'm rooting for his match to work. You wrote his part so romantically you had me swooning and daydreaming. Haha

Once again, thank you for sharing your fics with us. And I'll be cheering for the sequel. ♡
Totomatoes #8
Chapter 24: I'm not one for politics or power-hungry aristocrats and definitely not one to delve into topics like war (although I like learning about them hahaha) but reading fanfics like this hype me up!

I love that I can for markson but ended up questioning our current political status hahaha.

I loved every part of it. What I hated? Markson. Absolutely tried to weasel my way out of hoping for Markson but I just kept holding unto my markson feels and not get completely satisfied but I assure you it's not bad!! In fact, it's great!! I love the fact that I didn't pick who I want Mark to end up with because I considered things I never thought I would. Like emotion wise it would be Jackson because I felt like he's someone that gives Mark a sense of normality in the middle of all the work of a prince and head of his house however, Zhoumi would be more suitable in terms of well... what he's up against. Not only is Zhoumi knowledgeable about the inner workings of the families, the council, the vamp-human treaties, he has connections as well.

I ALSO HATE THAT IT'S A CLIFFHANGER AND IT'S MAKING ME SO FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I WANT MOOOOOOORE.

But in all seriousness, I loved it. Loved every part. Loved every conspiracy. (I actually thought at one point that Kyuhyun might be the weasel lol). Loved every internal conflict Mark had. And absolutely loved his confusion over his emotions hehehe.

Fanfics like this make me giddy. I can't deny I'm a er for the occassional fluff and angst and romance, but themes like this catch my eye and definitely get me caught in the trap. Not only is the plot entertaining and interesting but the vocabulary is wonderful as well! It didn't use too complex words but didn't make it too simple either and even if you did, it was appropriate for the character and situation!

p.s. I got excited when Sooyoung and Taekwoon got involved.

p.p.s I kinda hoped that Taekwoon's match was Hakyeon lmao XD
orange_marmalady #9
Chapter 24: Hands down, best vampire au fan fiction I've ever read. Everything was so well thought out and I could really feel everything mark was going through. I really hope he chooses Jackson btw (^.^) guess I'm just a er for markson hehe. I hope you make a sequel, but even if you don't, I understand. Thank you for such an amazing story :,,,)