For as long as it had been looming in the distance, Mark’s introduction was upon him faster than he could have possibly imagined.

“You’re going to do great,” Jackson said the last free moments they had together before Mark absolutely had to leave. In fact he knew he was probably holding everyone up, but it wasn’t as if they could leave without him, and for some odd reason, he was starting to feel a separation anxiety of sorts from Jackson. There was something very uncomfortable about going away from Jackson, especially when Mark suspected his feelings for the other vampire were starting to deepen.

When he’d looked at Jackson before, there’d been fondness and ual attraction and all the things that two people normally had between them when dating. But lately there’d been something else, too. And it was something much more than Mark had ever felt for another person before.

“I don’t have to do much,” Mark corrected, fiddling a bit with the zipper on his jacket. “I didn’t plan this introduction, and when it happens, I mostly just have to stand there and look happy it’s occurring.”

“And come back a badass, super powerful vampire.”

Mark sighed. “I think I don’t have to tell you that I don’t crave power. I don’t want to have control over the lives of the people in my family. And the responsibility is … burdensome.”

“And,” Jackson drawled out, linking their fingers, “I shouldn’t have to tell you that’s why you’re going to be really good at it.”

Flatly Mark replied, “Because I hate the idea of being in charge?”

“Because that means it’s way less likely the power will go to your head.” Jackson tugged him a little closer and kissed his mouth sweetly. “The best people to have power, are the ones who are reluctant to have it in the first place. It means you’ll think a lot before you exercise it, or you probably won’t abuse it.”

Mark blinked slowly at him. “That’s very insightful of you.”

Jackson kissed Mark’s mouth once more. “I’m not super smart like you or JB. But I’m not stupid, either. And better than that, I know you, Mark. I know what kind of person you are. So if I’m not worried that you’ll mishandle that power or do something wrong with it, you shouldn’t be either.”

Mark in a deep breath, chest swelling, and then he wrapped his arms around Jackson’s shoulders and hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” he mumbled, smashing his face into Jackson’s neck. He hadn’t known how badly he needed to hear those words until just now.

Jackson’s own arms embraced him back. “No problem.”

A knock sounded gently from Mark’s door.

“That’s your cue,” Jackson said, the scruff of his stubble brushing against Mark’s much more cleanly shaven face. “Now go kick some , and I’ll see you in a few days.”

Mark instantly felt stronger, and for the first time, like he could pull his introduction off.

His introduction was scheduled to take place in Vermont. Mark’s uncle owned a house there, a strategically placed home surrounded by a thicket of trees on three sides, and a huge lake on the other. There was one road in and one road out, and notoriously difficult to reach if you didn’t already know your way. More than anything else, that was probably the reason Mark’s introduction had been moved to Vermont. Mark was certain there’d be dozens of very important vampires in attendance, and at least a couple of council members. The reassurance of safety was more than important.

The plane ride was long and horribly boring, punctuated by Henry desperately trying to cram in school work he’d fallen behind with, Amber sleeping, and Zhou Mi occupied with his book. Mark probably could have talked to any one of them, or done his own school work or watched a movie. But doubt was starting to creep back up on him, and it was debilitating to say the least.

A few hours into the flight Zhou Mi took pity on him, glanced at Mark over the top of his book and said, “You have nothing to be worried about. Less even to be nervous over. Do you want me to walk you through the ceremony?”

Mark gave an appreciative nod, moving away from Amber and Henry to the other side of the private plane to where Zhou Mi was seated. It gave them the illusion of privacy at least.

“Not much is required on your part,” Zhou Mi told him quietly, marking his place in his book and then giving Mark his full attention. “A majority of council members will be present among the guests, considering the nature of the circumstances surrounding your introduction. Your uncle will announce to the gathered guests that he is the one presenting you in lieu of your parents. You’ll have a customary drink, likely champagne, give a short speech about upholding your family’s honor, and then food will be served in an effort to prove your family’s opulence. Afterwards there’ll be some dancing, because no pureblood vampire in attendance over the age of fifty will be able to resist pretending like we’re not still living in the seventeenth century, and because we’re matched, you and I will share the first of the night.”

Mark gave him a heavy look. “ And you think I don’t have anything to be worried over?”

“No,” Zhou Mi said with a grin. “Because if you manage to get through the first part, and the dance, no one will even remember that you’re supposed to be the star of the night. Trust me, I’ve been to many of these, and the guests will ply themselves heavily with alcohol and by the time the sun rises they’ll be absolutely convinced that each and every one of them is the reason for the party.”

Mark leaned his head back against the seat and clenched his fingers. “What if I trip? Or say something stupid?”

“Then,” Zhou Mi said, reaching out to lay his hand over Mark’s, “everyone will simply smile and pretend like they saw or heard nothing. What I think you are failing to realize is that an introduction is more than a convenient excuse for a party among purebloods. You will be considered a man after your introduction. An adult. Your family will once again have an adult at the head of it, and the amount of power you are about to inherit is something far beyond what you currently comprehend. The others will recognize that.”

Mark closed his eyes. “Just what I didn’t want. More power and responsibility.”

Zhou Mi squeezed Mark’s hand. “At least be thankful you and I are matched. Were you an available bachelor for your introduction, you might not survive the night. Because I will be there, many of the vampires attending will not bring their eligible children. It’s one thing you’ve managed to escape. I suspect this will be the one and only time you value our match”

“I don’t,” Mark started turning his wrist so he could hold Zhou Mi’s hand properly, “want you to think that I’m rejecting you for a frivolous reason. I’m not dismissing our match because I’m a teenager with a teenage boyfriend who I stupidly think I’m going to end up marrying or something like that. I just want to be free, Zhou Mi. There’s nothing in my life that comes close to freedom, but to get to pick who I love and marry, that’s something I’m willing to fight for.”

Mark watched Zhou Mi’s Adam’s apple bob for a moment. Then Zhou Mi posed, “You wish to choose with your heart?”

“I do,” Mark said. “When I’m older and ready, I want to pick the person I spend the rest of my life with, whether it’s Jackson or someone else. I think I need to.”

Zhou Mi posed, “And if I were me?”

“Huh?”

Zhou Mi looked away from him, seemingly relaxing more in his plush seat. “You’ll spend several more years at the academy, regardless of what you inherit tonight. I’ll be taking classes for another year and a half. That is quite an amount of time to build a repertoire. Later on in life I assume we will continue our friendship, and I ask you, what will your answer be if ten years from now that friendship turns into something more?”

Zhou Mi’s side profile was stunning, even in the poor light of the plane. It was something Mark could hardly look away from as he found himself replying hoarsely, “Then I would choose you. I would marry you, if we were in love.”

Zhou Mi said nothing back, but the smile on his face was telling enough.

It took several more hours for Mark and the others to reach the small, private airport nearest his uncle’s estate, and almost forty-five minuets by car to turn down the long, twisty road that led up to the house.

Mark peered up at the huge, imposing house from the car window and felt even more apprehension build. He was familiar with his uncle’s bungalow in Bali, the flat in London, the country house in Kyoto and the loft in Berkeley. Those were all places Mark had visited over the years, and they’d always been compact and well lived in and full of history. This house felt different. It was almost ghostly in how hollow it seemed. Though it was certainly big enough for the two hundred and fifty expected guests in little more than a day.

“Mark!” his uncle called, quickly crossing the distance to the car when they’d fully arrived.

Mark popped open the door and tried his best to smile He hugged his uncle strongly, conveyed his appreciation, and all the while he couldn’t shake the question of what he would do if his uncle was not the man Mark had thought he was.

Thursday was spent with Mark keeping out of the way. He called Jackson and assured him he’d arrived safely, and actually managed to finish a good deal of the homework he’d brought with him. When that was done, he kept mostly to his room, the lavish space fully furnished and a comfortable enough place to be lazy.

He spent a lot of time at the bedroom window, too. It overlooked the front driveway of the house, and afforded Mark a clear view of all the comings an goings that were currently happening. A veritable hurricane was apparently touching down on the house in the form of florists and caterers and a hundred other people on the property setting up for the coming party. For hours Mark saw them arriving, ushered off the huge room to the east of the house where Mark would have his introduction.

And when that was boring, Mark only able to laze around for so long, he decided to slip past Henry who was constantly arguing with his father, and Amber who was haunting the kitchen in a regular manner. Either of them would have been decent enough company, but something was different. Ever since Henry and Amber had disappeared for a few days, something had felt odd. Mark couldn’t begin to put his finger on what that oddness was, but Henry was in conflict with his father more now that Mark had ever seen before, and Amber was much more quiet that usual. She seemed subdued in some way, and Mark didn’t like it one bit.

With all the chaos going on around the house, Mark was easily able to slip away and take the dirt path that led away from the property. He followed it not knowing where it would go, but unable to stand the stifling intensity of the house.

As it turned out, the path curved down through the thicket of trees for quiet a while. There was no telling where it was going, but eventually it brought Mark down to the nearby lake. His feet hit the dock attached to the nearby boat house seconds later and Mark breathed in the smell of fresh air that was absolutely a comfort.

He made his way down the dock to the edge of the platform and put his hands on his hips. Some memories of his family were fading, and that was heartbreaking, but there were other memories that were stronger than ever. Mark could very clearly remember the trips to the lake his family would take when he was young and they’d lived in Northern California. Joey had only been a baby at the time, but they were some of the best memories he had.

“I’d wondered where you went off to.”

Mark didn’t turn at the even words from Zhou Mi.

Instead, Mark looked out over the mostly still water of the lake, the moon shinning on it, and thought about how much he wanted to go swimming in it.

He offered to Zhou Mi, “Things are tense back at the house. I was feeling suffocated.”

Zhou Mi’s feet clunked against the wood of the dock as the grew nearer. “Your uncle is very …insistent that everything go perfectly tomorrow.”

Mark huffed, “I just want it to be over. You know I don’t like these big shows of status or power or wealth.”

Zhou Mi stepped up next to him. “You’re going to have to get used to it.”

“Or just pass those responsibilities onto my uncle. He seems to be good at all of this. Maybe this can be his thing--keeping the family in the best social circles and up to date and visible to the vampire community.”

“While you just sit back and make the hard decisions?”

Mark tensed. “I hope there won’t be a lot of those.”

Mark turned to look at Zhou Mi as the man said, “I know this seems very overwhelming to you right now. There is an immense amount of pressure on your shoulders and you’re only just beginning to comprehend how stressful the rest of your life will be. But it will get better. You will get older, and be more adept in these issues. You won’t always feel like this.”

That did feel like the truth, but still Mark said, “I wish I was as confident as you.”

Zhou Mi’s hand rested gently on Mark’s shoulder. “Dole out responsibilities as you see fit. Your parents never managed everything on their own. They knew how to divide and conquer. But they never, Mark, never lost control. You can do whatever you like as the head of your family, as auspicious as that sounds, but never lose control. Always maintain it, no matter the cost.”

Mark frowned in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mouth pressed tightly, Zhou Mi didn’t answer. That made everything much more ominous.

But Mark had learned by now that Zhou Mi would often keep things close to his chest and not share for various reasons. He wasn’t a closed off type, or deliberately standoffish, but when he decided something, it was hard to budge him. It was usually worthless to try.

So instead Mark said, “When I was little, I lived with my parents in Northern California, near Tahoe for a few years. In the winter, that meant lots of skiing and ice skating and cool things like that. But the summer was better. The summer was all about going to the lake and having barbeques and outdoor concerts. Sometimes there’d be all three in one night and it was the best part of the year. I learned to swim at that lake. I miss that lake.”

“You could go back,” Zhou Mi pointed out. “The best part of the responsibility you’re about to take on, is that you’ll have the ability to be very mobile. You’ll still be required to complete your formal education, but it doesn’t have to be at Hawthorne. You might consider relocating to Tahoe, hiring the services of a private tutor, and enjoying your summer nights at the lake again.”

It was appealing. But it probably wouldn’t be the same. Most of what had made those nights at the lake special, had been having his whole family there. “It would be different.”

“I know it’s not the same,” Zhou Mi said, capturing Mark’s attention, “but do you want to go out?”

“Go out where?”

Zhou Mi jogged the short distance to the nearby boat house and pushed open one of the rolling doors. Inside Mark could see several rowboats, a kayak, and rows of lifejackets. “The lake? It’s not the same as the one in Tahoe, but we’ve got some time to kill. We can go out for a little if you want.” He was already pulling the rowboat to the edge of the boathouse, the medium sized craft bobbing in the water.

“Can we?” Mark asked. “I don’t know if my uncle would like that. He’s very fussy about his things.”

Zhou Mi arched an eyebrow. “You realize this is your house, technically.”

Mark’s face scrunched up. “Technically.”

Tethering off the boat at the edge of the dock, Zhou Mi headed back to the life jackets and plucked two off the wall. He tossed one to Mark and put the other on himself. “All of your family’s money is yours, whether you earn it or not. That’s just the way the system operates. It’s absolutely your responsibility to keep each and every member of your family, no matter how distant the tie, well fed, clothed and at least moderately happy, but in return you oversee the family’s assets. Your uncle’s money is your money, Mark. This house is yours, even if he calls it his own.”

Mark snapped the buckles on the lifejacket slowly. “Well, I don’t have any interest in taking the things that the members of my family accumulate, through whatever means. I’m not greedy, and I don’t think I’m selfish. I’m absolutely going to take care of this family financially, even if I don’t know how to do that yet on my own, but I won’t ever take from my family, and I don’t agree with that policy.

Zhou Mi held a hand out to Mark at the rocking rowboat and gave him a genuine smile. “That’s why you’ll be a exceptional head of family, Mark. You’ll be grand.”

It was actually something Mark had been thinking about lately. Especially since he’d taken a peek at his family’s finances. Taking care of the family financially was going to be a massive undertaking.

Mark’s legs felt like jelly as he stepped into the rowboat, but Zhou Mi’s grip on his hand was strong and secure and it didn’t feel for a second like Zhou Mi would let him fall.

They rowed silently into the center of the lake, the boat gliding along as Zhou Mi worked the paddles expertly, kicking up only the barest hint of water.

“It’s peaceful out here,” Zhou Mi commented. “beautiful and serene. Like a perfect sonnet, waiting to be written.”

Mark’s head cocked. “Sonnet? Like Shakespeare?”

“I’m very fond of poetry.”

Mark tried not to let his distaste show as he told Zhou Mi, “I think poetry is kind of boring. It’s all about flowers and love and mostly it’s confusing.”

Instead of looking offended, Zhou Mi laughed a little. “Poetry is often symbolic and steeped in metaphor. While I very much recognize that some of the best poetry is simplistic in nature, I prefer much more complex and rich stanzas. I like to think of poetry as a puzzle to solve, and the feeling of accomplishment when you decipher the message, is something incredibly rewarding.”

“I just like more straightforward things, I guess.” Mark leaned carefully against the edge of the rowboat and felt it dip precariously.

The paddles to the rowboat stilled and Zhou Mi’s voice carried through the air, “All things will die. Clearly the blue river chimes in its flowing. Under my eye; Warmly and broadly the south winds are blowing.”

“Morbid,” Mark said.

Zhou Mi held up a finger, “Over the sky. One after another the white clouds are fleeting; Every heart this May morning in joyance is beating.”

“I think I like poems about death even less.”

“It’s not really about death,” Zhou Mi said patiently.

Mark let his fingers skim the top of the water. The water, as expected, was cold, but also a wonderful feeling. In fact Mark was feeling more comfortable and content than he had in a while. “Then what’s it about? Because it sounds like it’s about death.”

“Somewhat,” Zhou mi conceded. “It’s Tennyson’s ‘All Things Will Die’, and while the subject matter itself is death, it’s more of a reflection on the fragility of life. And in a way, the love and beauty of life. I like to think the poem is a reminder that death comes to all eventually, but the life that precedes that, is beautiful and precious.”

Straightening up a little, Mark asked, “Is Tennyson your favorite?”

Zhou Mi leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Of the Victorian era poets, he is. But I prefer the Renaissance poets more. Especially John Donne.”

One hand still dangling in the water, Mark lifted himself fully to a seated position and leaned towards Zhou Mi’s personal space. “Why him?” Against all odds, Mark was actually curious. “I bet he writes about love a lot.”

Zhou Mi grinned. “The Renaissance poets usually did. It was a period of enlightenment, and to most men, there was nothing more enlightening than love.”

Taking a deep breath, Mark asked, “Tell me some of his poetry?”

In the distance Mark could hear the soft hoots of owls, the chirps of crickets, and the rippling of the water. And all of it was the perfect backdrop to Mark who thought Zhou Mi was looking absolutely ethereal with the moon behind him, making him look like an angel.

Zhou Mi cleared is throat and started, “Busy old fool, unruly sun. Why dost thou thus through windows, and through curtains call on us? Must to thy motions lovers’ season run? Saucy pedantic wretch, go childe. Late school boys and sour prentices. Go tell court huntsment that the king will ride. Call country ants to harvest offices. Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime. Nor hours, days, months which are the rags of time.”

Zhou Mi’s voice was the kind of steady tempo that Mark could see himself falling asleep to. It was familiar and soothing and coming from Zhou Mi, the poetry was almost hypnotic.

When Zhou Mi was finished reciting the whole of the poem, Mark stated, “You’re going to have to tell me what it’s about.”

Air caught in Mark’s chest as Zhou Mi’s hand came up to frame his jaw gently. “It’s a poem about a man who loves a woman very much. He’s spent the night with her, most likely made love to her, and is now cursing the day for coming. It’s heartbreaking to him, because he knows they’ll have to be parted, and she is the love of his life--nothing else compares.”

“Sounds sad,” Mark struggled to get out. But the pads of Zhou Mi’s fingers were so warm against his skin. So intimate.

“It is,” Zhou Mi agreed, his thump stoking ever so slightly at the skin of Mark’s chin. “But also not so much. After all, by his cursing the coming of the sun, and forsaking the call of king and country, he’s stating that the woman he loves is worth more to him than anything else. He’s saying exactly how much he loves her by disregarding everything else. That kind of love isn’t as common as one might hope, but it does occur, and it’s worth cherishing above all other things.”

Zhou Mi’s eyes were like furnaces piercing deeply into Mark’s own, and it wasn’t only the poetry that Mark though was a puzzle of words.

“Don’t you think that kind of devotion and love is beautiful?”

Mark nodded awkwardly, not sure all of the sudden why he was desperate not to dislodge Zhou Mi’s hand.

“Zhou Mi,” Mark said at a whisper. “I don’t …”

“That,” Zhou Mi cut in just as quietly, “is the kind of love and devotion I feel towards you.”

Suddenly Zhou Mi’s other hand was there, and Mark’s face was being bracketed by hands that were capable of such strength and violence, but Mark knew would never hurt him.

“I can’t … you shouldn’t …”

Zhou Mi leaned closer. “I’ve spoken to you at length about how I will stand with you, support you, and never betray you. But now is the moment for me to tell you that I hold more than simple affection for you. I have very much fallen in love with you--my heart and soul have become fully yours.”

The world was narrowing around Mark and he felt light headed.

Zhou Mi was close enough that Mark could smell his cologne when he said, “If ever two were one, then sure we.”

“Is that more poetry?” Mark asked, and he wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but it was overwhelming and it was … undeniable.

Zhou Mi nodded. “My love is such that rivers cannot quench. Nor ought but love from three give recompense. Thy love is such I can no way repay; The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray. Then while we live, in love let’s so persever, that when we live no more, we may live ever.”

There was such a burst of joy and want from Mark’s heart that it caught him completely off guard. He hadn’t even known he was capable of feeling so much until suddenly he was. And even more astounding, it was Zhou Mi who was making him feel that way. Zhou Mi and not Jackson.

Jackson.

The guilt was there immediately.

But before Mark could voice it, or ask Zhou Mi to give him space, Zhou Mi’s big hands were cradling his head up. And just as quickly they were kissing.

It was a kiss that Mark felt deep in him right away, sweet and sensual and filled with so much care. The kiss made Mark clutch at the side of the rowboat desperately as his mind went blank, and against anything that would have been better judgment, he kissed back.

Zhou Mi groaned happy against him and Mark raised one hand from the security of the boat to grab hold of the shirt Zhou Mi wore.

The kiss was good. It was better than good. And as it deepened, Mark didn’t want it to end. It was the kind of kiss that made nothing else in the world matter.

At least until his other hand uncurled from the other side of the rowboat, coinciding perfectly with the first slip of tongue from Zhou Mi. It started Mark, he lost his center of balance at once, and then he only knew the cold splash of water.

It took him a second to realize what had happened. And a second more to realize he couldn’t breathe. He tried to choke in air but only ended up with a mouth and nose full of water.

Then he was being jerked up suddenly, and he broke the surface of the water sputtering like a near drowned cat. His lifejacket kept him afloat and he clung of the front of it, buoyant and never so thankful for the safety device. Mark could swim. He could swim well, too. But he realized now that he’d tipped the rowboat on accident, and when he’d gone under the water, he’d been disoriented. He hadn’t known which way was up. He could have drowned.

“Are you okay?” Zhou Mi’s voice demanded roughly, as if he’d taken in some water too.

And when Zhou Mi was coughing a second later, Mark was the one asking, “Are you?”

Zhou Mi drew him close as they floated in the water, kept that way by the life jackets. His warm arms encircled Mark and helped fight the chill of the water. “If you didn’t want me to kiss you, you could have only said so. You didn’t need to flip the boat.”

There was an ease to his words, as if the kiss had meant nothing, but Mark knew better. And he knew the look on Zhou Mi’s face, too.

“Come on,” Zhou Mi said, helping kick the both of them over to boat. He got it righted on his own, Mark still clinging to him like a child, and then Zhou Mi helped lift Mark into it. It almost went over a second time as Mark flipped into it, but eventually Zhou Mi was pulling himself up along side Mark and they were both fully out of the water.

“You shouldn’t have said those things to me or kissed me,” Mark said, wiping water from his bangs and forehead. “Zhou Mi. I have a boyfriend. I have …”

“You have at least some feelings for me. You feel something, even if you haven’t admitted the extent of it yet.”

Still breathing more heavily than usual, Mark stared at him.

Did he care that much? Was what he felt more than simple affection?

He had kissed Zhou Mi back, hadn’t he?

“It’s not love what you feel for me,” Zhou Mi said, calming his own breathing. “But you don’t love your boyfriend, either.”

“I’m not even sixteen yet,” Mark said back almost angrily. “I barely know how to love myself right now.”

Shoulders slumping, Zhou Mi nodded. “Fair enough. But you feel something. For me. I could tell in the way you kissed me. I could tell, Mark.”

There was such desperation in Zhou Mi that Mark was caught completely off guard. Why was it so important to Zhou Mi? Was it simply one person desiring another to return feelings? Why did it feel like something more?

“Please,” Mark said, steadying himself. “I don’t know what I feel for you. Is that what you want me to say? There … maybe there’s something there--something that wasn’t there before--but it doesn’t matter. I have a boyfriend and that kiss was wrong. That kiss should never have happened, and I won’t be that kind of boyfriend to Jackson. You have to promise not to do it again.”

“That’s like asking the sun not to set at the end of a day.”

Mark reached over to put a hand to Zhou Mi’s chest. “I mean it. You kissed me once before and it was wrong then. But it let it go, because we’re so twisted up together it’s hard to see sometimes. But this second time? It has to be the last. So please, respect my wishes and be aware of what they are. I only want to kiss my boyfriend, and he is not you.”

The most worrying part was that when Zhou Mi had kissed him the first time, Mark hadn’t been able to identify much romantic about it. At least not on his end. But this time? This time it was different.

And Mark didn’t know where the feelings had come from, nor their intensity.

They made him feel wretched, but mostly because he’d sworn that he’d never feel them. He’d given his attention and his affection to Jackson, and what he felt for Zhou Mi had snuck up on him and made Mark feel like a hypocrite. A traitor. A betrayer.

Zhou Mi looked up at the moon and sighed. “It’s getting late. I should get us back to the house, if only to change.”

It wasn’t lost on Mark that Zhou Mi hadn’t made a promise of any kind to keep his hands and mouth to himself.

“How are we going to get back?” Mark asked. He pointed to the oars which had been lost when the rowboat had flipped.

“Improvisation,” Zhou Mi said with a wink, then he leaned over and began slowly paddling them back to shore with his arms. Mark tried not to notice the way Zhou Mi’s clothing clung to his very well defined body.

“I should go sneak back in and change,” Mark said when his feet were firmly on the dock. He tried to unbuckled his life jacket with shaking hands, finding his fingers frozen to the point that it was difficult to get the clasps to cooperate.

“Here,” Zhou Mi said, stepping away from the boat he’d tied up in the boat house. His own hands replaced Mark’s on the front of the vest. “You should go get a warm bath. If you need your iron tablet, I’ll bring it up to you. Maybe with some hot tea?”

Mark’s hands caught Zhou Mi’s and he realized they were just as cold. “I need to know that you understand what I said to you.”

Zhou Mi stared at him for a while, quiet and still. Then he asked, “Have I crossed a line with us? Have I broken what we have?”

Mark shrugged honestly.

“I’ve tried to be patient,” Zhou Mi said with an exhale. “I tried to let you figure things out at your own speed. And for the longest time, I thought that there would be nothing between us. I believed you when you said that you felt nothing for me. I accepted that.”

“That kiss didn’t seem like it.”

Slowly Mark released Zhou Mi’s fingers and allowed him to pry the lifejacket off. “That was before I saw it.”

“Saw what?” Mark asked hesitantly.

“I saw you look at me,” Zhou Mi said simply. “I saw the way you looked at me--the conflict on your face. And I knew in that second, I absolutely knew, I still had a chance.”

“Zhou Mi.”

“A slim one,” Zhou mi added, hanging up their life jackets. “But still one.”

Mark opened his mouth to reply, only to realize he didn’t know what he could possibly say to those words.

So they walked back to the house in silence.

Mark had the bath, like Zhou Mi had suggested, and then there was tea and finally exhaustion. Mark changed into his pajamas, climbed in bed, and even though it was at least an hour before the sun came up, settled down for the night.

Encompassed by the heavy blankets and cocoon of warmth, Mark closed his eyes and willed himself to go to sleep. At least if he was asleep he wouldn’t have to think about what had happened and the new, conflicting feelings that were overtaking his senses.

“You are an idiot, Mark,” he told himself in the pitch blackness of the room.

How could he even be considering Zhou Mi when he had someone as wonderful and Jackson?

There was no comparison, he told himself. Jackson was amazing and perfect for Mark, and he made Mark feel all the things he’d never dared to think he could on his own. Jackson was the one for him, and there was no denying or confusing the very real emotions Mark felt for him. Zhou Mi had been right when he’d claimed Mark didn’t love Jackson, but he was very close to it. Almost too close.

There was no comparison. There couldn’t be.