May 10th, 2016

5:26 PM

Many months after Kiss

Throwing on a simple coat, Eunhye was prepared to escape into the cold night. Her feet pattered across the floor, making their way to the door. Passing down a short hallway that was lined with various photographs, she stopped to look at the images. A certain picture caught her attention: the fading ink captured a smiling man. His eyes were hidden by the amount of laughter that escaped his upturned lips, and the man looked innocent in his boyish attire: guiltless and unknowing of the world around him. What really stood out to Eunhye was the item in his hand, a red book, the same one that was seemingly glued to his eyes in past memories. This was the man she had fallen in love with. She greeted the picture with a smile of her own, only it carried a different feeling.

Jongin was rarely seen with the same conduct he carried in that image. He had fallen into the trap of adult life, leading him to become a distant shell of his former self. Time slowed the blood that ran through his veins and craved new lines into once soft skin, etching pain through his muscles. He was nowhere near the age of resentment towards life, he just seemed that way. He still produced the beauty that youth gave him; his tall limbs seemed to grow each day and defined tones showed a physique that matched any magazine cover. His tanned skin made distinct corners around his every joint, leaving his jawline to cut through the air. Plump lips always were freshly bitten and black hair flowed in every direction. Dark circles came and went under his eyes, and he always seemed replenished on the outside, but the demeanor he displayed on the inside was yearning for life. Beauty could only go so far, and she didn’t fall in love with him because of that. It was tired actions that downplayed that love; he was going through something that she couldn’t understand. She stood on the outside of it all, and, even if she was just observing the life being swept from under him, she was being brought down along with him.

Walking into the kitchen, Eunhye picked up her purse and swung it around her shoulder. Tonight's dinner was in the works, nothing special though, just something to get the two of them by. Walking to the door, she passed through the dark living room. The tv was the only source of light. A pair of uninterested eyes stared back lazily at the screen. “I’m going shopping. Is there anything you want for dinner tonight?” Eunhye asked, leaning over the sofa to stare at Jongin. She added a little bit of energy to the words, hoping get a response out of him.

Jongin turn his head slightly to look at her, “Chicken and beer,” he answered, laying down onto the couch. He lifted his arms back to support his head, and his eyes seemed dull with the rich brown fading to black. “That sounds good to me.” A sleepy sigh came from his mouth.

Eunhye shook her head, standing back up and placing her finger on her chin, “We had that two nights ago. Can’t we change it up a bit? All we eat is chicken...” she countered, walking over to a chair beside the couch. She plopped down and leaned her weight into the armrest. “Let’s go out and do something different. How about that new Italian place that just opened up? I heard their spaghetti is the best, and I know you love spaghetti.”

Jongin kept his position and looked up to the ceiling, letting Eunhye’s words pass by his ears, “I don’t want to go out,” he said, again with that tired voice. “Go buy whatever,” he continued in the same manner.

Eunhye didn’t respond right away: Jongin’s sluggish words slowed down her thoughts. He was being so—passive lately, and he never had any energy to do anything. The word date didn’t exist in his vocabulary anymore, and lately it seemed he was erasing the word love too. He was smearing the pages the two of them had wrote together—why couldn’t he see that? “Jongin, if you are so tired, sleep. Stay here and... do what you have been doing the past few weeks in the dark like this,” she said, trying to hide the annoyance on her voice as she rose from her seat and walked to the door, over with their little discussion.

As Eunhye turned the handle, she heard Jongin shift on the couch, and she looked back with agitated eyes. He wore the clothes he had wore yesterday when he had gotten home from work: the same old button up shirt that once was a crisp white with no wrinkles to be seen, but now was dingy and crooked mess. His black trousers were in the same state, along with his hair. He walked to the closet and retrieved a leather jacket. Throwing it on, he ran his hands through his hair, trying to present himself. Dry eyes rose towards hers, “Where do you want to go?”

-

Eunhye leaned back against the bent frame of a yellow plastic chair as warm air spilled through a vent above, sending a kind feeling through her humdrum body. She bit her bottom lip, letting out small amounts of anger. Here they sat in the same small, cramped chicken restaurant; Eunhye and Jongin had ended up here after a one sided argument. He didn’t care where they went to eat, but she wanted to go somewhere that he would enjoy. The thought of someplace new stayed on her thoughts. Maybe the excitement of a foreign place would revitalize their dull demeanor, but she couldn’t get anything out of him. Unresponsive and passive as ever, he was never like this before. Usually he was the one who wanted to try new things, he always wanted to expand their relationship to different lengths; his once warm brown eyes had life in them. Now, they lazily stared at the blank walls of the same old chicken restaurant they had gone to an uncountable amount of times.

No words were spoken between the two of them, just silence, but muffled music played in the distance, trying to set a cheery mood. Eunhye sighed and shifted her position, picking up her menu. She flipped through the same items, trying to find something different. Of course, nothing had changed—it was all the same. The waiter made his way to their table, checking to see if they were ready to place their order.

“Hello, is there anything I can get the two of you?” A lively voice sprang out into the silence. Eunhye looked up from her menu and saw a different face. If anything was new in the restaurant, it was the man standing before her. He sported a bright yellow shirt paired with fitted jeans. His height rose short of Jongin’s, but his manner soared high above that, and an apron was tied around his waist, pulling everything close to his body. His hair was slicked back in a messy fashion, donning a light brown color. His upturned lips left an everlasting smile on his mouth, and his cheekbones soared to the space above. A countless amount of eyelashes displayed themselves far longer than usual, and his eyes were a soft brown that lightened up any gaze; Eunhye couldn’t help but look straight into them.

“We will just have a whole chicken with a couple cans of beer,” Jongin commented, not paying attention to anything around him. The waiter turned his head to look at Jongin—he was already starting to drain the energetic man. Eunhye could see the waiters expression change as he took down the order.

“Alright, I will put that in for you,” The waiter said, taking the menu’s from the table.

“Wait,” Eunhye said quickly, reaching for a menu, “I have a question.” The waiter turned his gaze towards her, as did Jongin. Two very different sets of brown eyes had her attention. “What would… you recommend for a person who wants to… try something different.” she cooned, brightening up her tone. If she couldn’t go to a new place for dinner, she was going to try and order something other than the usual. She looked up at the waiter, seeing his name tag display: Jongdae.

Jongdae raised his eyebrows and looked off to the ceiling. “Well, we are just a chicken restaurant,“ he said with a smile that could kill. “There’s not much variety to chicken other than the sauce and how you make it,” he finished, looking back at Eunhye with a laugh. She nodded slowly, looking a bit dissatisfied with his answer. Light brown eyes directed their way down to the menu in front of her. He moved closer to mention some items with his body not far from hers. “Well, here are some of our common sauces… but if you are looking for something new, you may want to try this… but it’s a bit spicy,” Jongdae said, looking for the right answer.

“I think we will just have the fried chicken,” Jongin interrupted in a different tone—it was a change from the same mono ring. Jongdae looked to Jongin and then back to Eunhye. Staring at Jongin with a grim look, she let out a puff.

“Sooooo... fried chicken?” Jongdae questioned, adding an octave jump, and Eunhye quickly shook her head and raised her eyes to Jongdae.

“How spicy is the sauce?” She inquired, ignoring Jongin’s former order, and a sigh came from the man across the table as he leaned back in his chair. Wouldn’t he just let her order something different? Why was he putting up a fight?

Jongdae paused for a moment, thinking of how to describe the sauce. “Well, think of… spicy peppers… but two degrees spicier,” he said, nodding his head. “Does that make sense? It doesn’t, does it.” A smile erupted on his face and his fingers went to his hair as he tried to describe the taste. “Your tongue won’t be set on fire, trust me. It’s just a different kind sauce,” he laughed, moving closer to the menu. “If you would like… just don’t tell my boss… I could bring you out a variety of sauces... Like a buffet?” He pointed to all the unusual sauces, and then raised his hand to his mouth, putting a finger to his lips to keep the secret. This spurred a reaction out of Eunhye, and she laughed lightly—laughing, now wasn’t that unusual?

“I don’t want to get you in trouble… Jongdae,” Eunhye said, looking at his name plate, then back at him, matching his smile. He reacted to his name by looking down at it; laughing and nodding, he shook his head. Jongin scoffed to himself, placing his arms across his chest.

“If you keep the secret, I won’t get into trouble,” Jongdae said, playing with his laugh. “So, one super secret buffet of sauces?” he asked looking at Eunhye and ignoring the grumbling Jongin. She nodded and handed him her menu, and he made his way back into the kitchen with a smile plastered fully on his lips. Eunhye nodded and leaned back in her seat, smiling at the energy just present; it matched the warm air coming from the heater above her.

Jongin stayed silent.

A lull fell around the table, and Jongin shifted in his seat multiple times. Eunhye looked to him, expecting him to have that same tired posture, but what greeted her eyes was something different: He looked agitated and uncomfortable, obviously in response to the sudden order change. She scooted her chair in a bit, resting her hands on the table, “I’m sorry. I didn’t feel like having fried chicken,” she clarified, letting her voice trail off, and she looked to the floor, not expecting him to say anything for these days he wouldn’t respond to much at all.

A long sigh came from the other end of the table: Jongin mumbled something, but she couldn’t decipher it, and so her thoughts went back to the sauces that the waiter had suggested. She didn’t necessarily like spicy foods, but they way Jongdae described it made her want to try them. Silence continued to play around the area; one side of the table was quietly staring off into space, and the other, thought to be sleepy, was unjust.

“I thought you didn’t like spicy foods,” Jongin countered, leaning back into his chair further, hiding an annoyed face. Eunhye’s attention was brought back to him, and he looked everywhere but her eyes. His sleepy, bored aura was completely washed away, and was replaced with a rigid stance that couldn’t seem to sit still.

“Well, Jongin, Jongdae offered me something that I couldn’t turn down,” Eunhye intertwined, placing her hands in her lap and sitting up straighter, provoking a laugh from Jongin.

“A buffet of sauces?” he boomed, letting annoyance seep into his words. He rubbed his hand across his chin. “If you wanted to eat at a buffet, then why didn’t we go to one?” he asked, looking back at Eunhye. The eyes that met hers were ones that she hadn’t seen in a long time—they were filled bitter irritation, and the dull, boredom was gone.

Those eyes stinged. “We came here because I knew that you didn’t want to go anywhere else,” Eunhye shot back, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

“Then why didn’t you order what I wanted?” The words came back just as fast as hers. Jongin’s posture became more tight and his brows furrowed. Were the two of them really getting into a fight over food?

The petty argument sent blood rushing through Eunhye’s veins. Jongin had been unresponsive for so long, why was he being this way now? He was not the type to get upset that easily, and fights between the two of them were very uncommon; Jongin wasn’t raised to be a fighter. “Sorry,” Eunhye hissed. Even though she said those words, she didn’t mean them. He noticed this and sighed loudly. A thick silence fell as Jongin was preparing his comeback, but before the words could leave his mouth, a cheeky grin announced the arrival of the food.  

Jongdae held a tray full of various sauces and a basket full of chicken. He placed the tray down and gave both sides of the table their drinks. “Here you go! A—" he looked around and then leaned into Eunhye slyly, “A super secret special sauce buffet,” he said with a whisper and a wink. He leaned back and that same smile came across his face. “I hope you-”

Jongin sneered at the close contact and reached for the sauce cups that Jongdae put down, placing them back on the tray. “Take this, we don’t want your super secret special buffet, ‘Jongdae,” he said mocking Jongdae. Jongdae, in return, let the smile fade from his face as he looked in confusion, letting an awkward moment ensue. Jongin looked up at Jongdae with cold eyes. “I told you we didn’t want it,” he said more sternly this time, and Jongdae looked away from the intense stare and back over to Eunhye. She had the same reaction as him. What was Jongin doing? It was one thing to bicker at each other, but to make a scene in front of the waiter? This was downright embarrassing.

“Um… I’m so sorry. It’s okay. Can we have this to go instead?” Eunhye prompted in a hurried tone, not wanting to make a mess. Jongdae paused, not knowing what to do.

“No, I said we don’t want this. We are going to have something we both enjoy because we are here together,” Jongin said, raising his tone. In the small restaurant, Eunhye was sure that they had the attention of everyone in it. Jongin kept his gaze on Jongdae, waiting for Jongdae to take back the food. Eunhye looked on in rage; this was not the place to do this. She knew that she should just let it drop, causing a scene was not what she wanted, but these uncalled for actions were unnecessary.

“Kim Jongin! Stop this!” Eunhye’s voice raised slightly, trying to get his attention, but it wasn’t working. Jongin was not seeing clear right now; anger was fueling his actions. “Kim Jongi-” She was suddenly yanked from her chair. Jongin pulled her by the wrist with such a force she knocked over the tray of sauces, and he continued to pull her from the restaurant, leaving behind a confused and saucy Jongdae.

“Let go!” Eunhye shouted, trying to pull her arm from Jongin’s grasp. The two of them were outside in the cold air and sauce was freshly stained down the front of her coat. Finally, Jongin let go, and she stumbled back, almost falling. She regained her stance and held her wrist in her hand. What was he doing? Forcing her from the restaurant? She had never seen him like this. This was a new side of Jongin that she never thought he had. Jongin looked back at her with fuming eyes. She hated that gaze, it cut right into her.

The slap made a loud noise, rising above the night.

Eunhye’s hand fell from Jongin’s face. Heavy breaths aspirated into the air, making clouds. Jongin cupped his face, leaning away from her. His expression was miles away from the one he just gave her. It held confusion and something she couldn’t put her finger on; a memory of raised voices. He stood like this for a few more moments, but made them feel like minutes. He snarled loudly and turned away, walking far down the street until his figure disappeared. Eunhye was left standing in the biting cold. She hit him. She had really raised her hand to his cheek. Fights between the two of them was the most uncommon thing, but getting to the point where force was used—never. Never. She wanted to sink to the ground, but she continued to stand in disbelief. Her voice urged to call out to him, but the air was taken from her lungs. The heart that raced for Jongin was beating out of resentment, not of love. What was happening?  

-

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all of the support! I know it is taking me awhile to update, but so many things are going on and I am so self conscious about this work. It has been something that I want to be perfect, and I don't want to put out any half assed work. Tell me what you guys think!