Kyungsoo normally wasn’t a clubber. He didn’t like it- loud music that vibrated his eardrums, watered down and overpriced drinks, and people he didn’t know everywhere while trying to follow his drunk friends. He would rather have a few drinks over food or a sit down function- clubbing was a waste of money.

But getting drunk the other night at Jongin’s had been really fun- he didn’t know why he didn’t do it more often.  And he wanted to go out. But he didn’t want to see his annoying friends. Which was why he was currently trying not to stumble as he showed the bouncer his ID, biting his lip and trying to walk in a straight line when he was waved in.

Fake smoke and vibrating bass overwhelmed his senses, and for a moment he couldn’t see. Well, he hadn’t been able to see the entire walk here anyway, random flashes of the pavement and street signs was all he remembered. Walking closer to the middle of the dancefloor where people were all grinding, he wondered what Baekhyun would say that he got drunk by himself like a loser and went clubbing alone like an even bigger loser. And what would Jongin say if he knew that this was a gay bar, and there was a body rubbing next to his and a hand trailing down his chest and someone shouting “do you want a shot?” right next to his ear and it was still less deafening than the music.

“Kyungsoo!”

Kyungsoo registered his name being shouted as the person he had been dancing with rubbed at his sides. He weakly giggled at the sensation and he thought he saw a flash of teeth of the other person smiling. They were waiting in line for more alcohol at a quieter area, and Kyungsoo felt like he didn’t know which way was the ceiling.

“Kyungsoo!”

Kyungsoo felt a hand on his shoulder and annoyed, he turned around to see two familiar faces.

“Suho, Chen!” he laughed.

“Hey! Funny seeing you out! Who are you with? Is Baekhyun here?” Chen said, looking like he was scanning the room to find him.

“No,” Kyungsoo laughed, wrapping his arm around the person he was dancing with’s waist. “I’m with uuhhh.. this guy!”

Kyungsoo couldn’t stop laughing as the guy touched his hips, trailing close to his . This was just so funny! He should’ve done this earlier.

“Who is this?” Suho said, giving a friendly smile.

“I have no idea!” yelled Kyungsoo back. “He’s so nice. He’s been buying me drinks. He’s so nice.”

He hadn’t realised he had been falling forward until Suho caught him.

“You’ve had way too much to drink,” he frowned.

“Wanna go to the bathroom?” random nice man whispered in Kyungsoo’s ear, and Kyungsoo clung to the warm man, not really understanding his question. He didn’t need to pee but he let himself be dragged away to a direction.

“Hey, where are you going?” asked Suho.

“None of your business,” said random man, arms wrapped around Kyungsoo to keep him upright. “We’re just going to have some fun.”

Chen and Suho exchanged a glance and looked at Kyungsoo, who looked like he was going to pass out at any moment.

“He’s with us,” Chen said. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“Hey, we’re all adults and he wants this. Leave us alone.”

“No,” Suho said, tugging Kyungsoo out of the man’s grasp. “He’s got herpes. You don’t want this.”

At that, the man quickly balked, letting go of Kyungsoo’s arm and disappearing back into the crowd.

“I do not have herpes,” slurred Kyungsoo. “You’re disgusting. You just chased away my future husband.”

“Kyungsoo, you’re so wasted.”

Kyungsoo had a bit of a rest on Suho’s shoulder, slumping into him. A bouncer made their way towards them.

“Hey, I think your friend has had too much to drink and needs to leave. We don’t serve alcohol to those who are clearly intoxicated. Get him out.”

“Yeah, just wait a second,” said Suho, trying to get Kyungsoo to walk.

“I mean it. I’m not having him puking all over this club, get him out.”

Kyungsoo felt cold air flow down his lungs as a wave of nausea rose up his throat when Suho and Chen managed to get him out.

“Jesus,” said Chen disgustedly as Kyungsoo dropped onto his hands and knees and started retching. “He can’t even stand.”

Suho squatted next to him and rubbed his shoulders. “Kyungsoo, who can come get you home?”

There was only one name on his mind, even when he couldn’t remember his own.

“Jongin,” he rasped. “I need Jongin.”

“Do you have his number?” Suho asked Chen.

Suho held him in a sitting position because he wanted to lie down on the street, only letting go when he threw up more liquid. He wanted to listen to the conversation as Chen talked to Jongin, but all he could concentrate on was how sick he was feeling.

Getting a taxi for Kyungsoo had proved impossible, as the taxi drivers took one look at him and refused to take him, knowing that he would just throw up everywhere. Thankfully, Jongin lived close by, and so Chen and Suho half carried, half dragged a half conscious Kyungsoo through the streets, stopping every so often when Kyungsoo would complain that his stomach hurt.

Kyungsoo was literally lying down on the elevator ride up to Jongin’s apartment, Suho and Chen unable to hold him up and hesitant to touch him because he had thrown up on his own shirt.

“Holy .”

Kyungsoo moaned at that voice when the elevator opened, whimpering when familiar hands pulled him up.

“I’m so sorry,” Chen apologised. “I’ve never seen him so trashed before.”

Kyungsoo inhaled his favourite cologne scent from his favourite person holding him, his favourite person hoisting him up into his arms to carry him out of the elevator.

“Be careful Jongin, he might throw up,” warned Suho as Kyungsoo rubbed his cheek against the warm graphic t-shirt.

He lay pathetically on the couch where Jongin had gingerly set him down, Suho and Chen bidding their farewells.

“Hyung, you’re really drunk, huh?” asked Jongin somewhere in front of him.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo whimpered, doubling over. “My stomach hurts.”

“I bet it does. Come on, let’s go to the bath-“

Kyungsoo got up on shaky forearms, vomiting on Jongin’s floor and side of the couch before he could finish his sentence.

Kyungsoo coughed up more saliva into the toilet bowl, Jongin hovering somewhere above him. Kyungsoo felt so warm and fuzzy even though he had thrown up once in front of the toilet rather than in it.

“Are you done?” asked Jongin.

“My stomach doesn’t hurt anymore,” Kyungsoo announced, sitting back and rubbing it. “I’m sleepy.”

“I bet you are. But you, my dear Kyungsoo, are covered in vomit.”

Kyungsoo weakly giggled as Jongin gently but quickly took Kyungsoo’s shirt off.

“. It got into your hair.”

“Jooonnggggiiinnn,” Kyungsoo whined. “My feet hurt.”

Kyungsoo made a sound of confusion when Jongin started fiddling with his belt and jeans.

“Jongin,” he said dazedly. “You want to have with me while I have vomit in my hair?”

“No you ,” Jongin grunted. “You’re going to take a bath. You smell disgusting.”

Jongin tugged Kyungsoo’s jeans off, unhappy at how easy it was to take Kyungsoo’s clothes off- it meant anyone else could’ve done it and Kyungsoo was too far gone to care.  Jongin didn’t know whether to keep Kyungsoo’s underwear on or not- it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before, but it wasn’t like he had to take it off either. He decided to leave it on him and get Kyungsoo to take it off himself when in the tub.

He gently but firmly grabbed Kyungsoo and lifted him off the ground, Kyungsoo’s skin sticky but as soft as he remembered. He was really light, and looked like he had lost a lot of weight. All of this would’ve been great if Kyungsoo didn’t smell like a dumpster. He stepped into the warm bath, the water lapping at his shins.

Kyungsoo whimpered when he was lowered into the hot water, Jongin shushing him and telling him not to move.

“Relax. I’m not making a Kyungsoo stew,” Jongin joked, settling him down and making him lean against the bathtub before stepping out gingerly onto towels he had laid out.

“You don’t know how to make stew,” Kyungsoo said, sinking down into the water with a relaxed sigh.

“You can uhhh… take your underwear off if it’s bothering you,” Jongin said as he grabbed shampoo and conditioner. He made a face as slick wet underwear was thrown at him.

“I love bathtubs. It’s a shame we don’t have a bathtub back home.”

Jongin bit his lip as he went behind Kyungsoo, asking him to tip his head back.

Kyungsoo sighed as he felt Jongin’s hands wetting his hair.

“I’m so drunk Jongin,” he mumbled. “I feel weird.”

Jongin hummed, tipping more water that ran down his neck.

“I missed you,” he breathed. “I missed feeling you touch me.”

He felt Jongin’s fingers start to work at his hair in a motion that was comforting. The smell of apple shampoo mixed with steam filled the air, the odour of vomit nearly drowned out. He wanted to fall asleep, it felt so good. He slid a little bit down but was stopped by Jongin yanking him back up by the armpits.

“Tell me if you’re going to throw up again,” Jongin said. “Try not to fall asleep on me, you drunk.”

“I miss falling asleep next to you,” Kyungsoo murmured. “I used to fall asleep crying each night because you weren’t there. “

“I’m sorry hyung,” Jongin said quietly. “I want to talk to you, but when you’re sober.”

Kyungsoo sighed, closing his eyes and rest his cheek on the side of the bathtub on his arm.

“You wanna go to sleep? It’s like 3am right now, hyung.”

“Mmmmhhmmm,” Kyungsoo moaned.

“Do you feel sick? If you’re going to throw up, please throw up now.”

Kyungsoo shook his head as Jongin helped him get out of the bathtub, his motor skills improving.

“Sit tight,” said Jongin, throwing some soft clothes at him as Kyungsoo sat on the bed. “ Get changed. I’ll go get you a glass of water. It’ll make the hangover better tomorrow. Or today, if we’re getting accurate here.”

After chugging the glass obediently that Jongin came back with, he managed to worm underneath the covers.

Jongin turned off the lamp and got under the covers himself. Kyungsoo felt strange. He was sleeping in a strange room with strange clothes and what felt like a stranger next to him. But Jongin’s tshirts had always felt soft, and the smell of Jongin and the feeling of cotton swamping him was comforting.

And the boy he had spent sobbing over before sleeping, one he used to hope and dream about, who was so far away that when Kyungsoo was crying in the night Jongin was laughing in the morning. And now, he was here. Right next to him, only fingertips away. Kyungsoo could reach out and touch him, and yet it was the furtherest distance he had ever felt with Jongin.

“Hyung, are you crying?” Jongin whispered.

Kyungsoo had started sniffling but no. He was not going to cry in front of Jongin.

“I miss Kai,” he sniffled.

“I’m right here though,” Jongin said next to him, the bed sheets rustling as he turned to face Kyungsoo. “I’m right here.”

“No,” Kyungsoo said. “I miss Kai. I want Kai. Where is Kai?”

Kyungsoo, in his blurry mind, knew that Kai was Jongin’s stage name, but couldn’t connect that the Jongin lying next to him was the Kai he was talking about- the passionate dancer that always looked for him in the crowd before taking his final bow. The one that gave him a glance and a relieved smile at finding him in the crowd, like the dance had been dedicated to him. Like Kai came alive for him.

“D.O. hyung,” Jongin said, using Kyungsoo’s own stage name for his band. “Kai is right here.”

Tentatively, Jongin reached out and put an arm around Kyungsoo.

“Don’t call me that,” Kyungsoo muttered. “I want Kai. Where is Kai? Take me to him.”

“Hyung,” Jongin sighed. “Go to sleep. Kai is right here.”

“You’re a liar,” said Kyungsoo as he snuggled up to Jongin’s chest, because it was warm and it felt like he had finally gotten to the good part of the dream without waking up. “I want… Kai and… Kai would…take me home.”

Kyungsoo did not feel Jongin’s muscles tensing at his words, indescribable emotions running through Jongin’s veins and behind Kyungsoo’s eyelids.

“Where were you?” asked  Baekhyun casually. Kyungsoo found it amusing because he wanted to sound unaffected, but Baekhyun had left 8 voice messages, 10 missed calls and a lot of texts. Kyungsoo’s iPhone now had a webbing of cracks on the front, and dents and bumps on the sides from last night. And weirdly enough, Kyungsoo didn’t even care. Kyungsoo walked along the street to try find a coffeeshop. Kyungsoo didn’t want to tell the truth to Baekhyun. Baekhyun might judge him, and even if he didn’t, that wasn’t enough. Kyungsoo wanted Baekhyun to feel the same anger that he felt toward Jongin, wanted Baekhyun to be on securely on his side because he was the best friend, not Jongin. So he didn’t say that he had gotten piss drunk, woke up with a raging hangover and run away from Jongin’s apartment with his freshly laudered jeans and Jongin’s tshirt. Jongin had cleaned up all the vomit in his apartment and the whole floor smelt like bleach. Embarrassed, Kyungsoo had snatched the jeans off the couch while Jongin apologised for throwing his shirt away- it was not worth saving.

“I was out,” Kyungsoo said, scratchy voice and all.

“ You sound terrible. Are you sick? What were you doing?” Baekhyun questioned.

“Clubbing,” Kyungsoo answered truthfully.

“What? You? Clubbing? That’s not fair Kyungsoo, you never go when I ask you to! So who did you go with?”

Kyungsoo gulped, making up his mind to lie.

“Um…Jongin… he said… he said that… you know.”

Kyungsoo was a great liar. With the right amount of confidence and emotion in a voice, you could really say something and say nothing at the same time.

“You went with Jongin?”

“No, not really…”

“Then who?”

Kyungsoo let Baekhyun come to his own conclusion.

“You went alone?”

“Jongin said he would be there, but he wasn’t and… Baekhyun I don’t want to talk about this.”

See how easy? He didn’t even need to think of an elaborate lie.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe him. What a dickhead. Are you okay?”

“I lost my wallet,” Kyungsoo admitted, which was true.  Luckily enough, knowing that he was going to get bad, he had only put cash in his wallet and taken out his credit cards. Kyungsoo might get messy, but he was always prepared. He had really lost his ID though.

“Oh my god. Come over. Have you eaten?”

“Baekhyun, I just want to sleep,” Kyungsoo sighed tiredly, making his voice sound even more woebegone and sorrowful than it already was. “I’m so tired.”

“Come over after your nap then?”

“Bye Baekhyun,” said Kyungsoo, ending the call.

He deserved a frappacino for all the bad feelings he kept feeling.

A/N Leave me a comment juseyo I am so lonelyyy