-Jiyong’s POV-

My head is spinning so badly and I can’t feel my body. Yeah, my whole body feels so numb. It’s even hard to open my eyes now

What happened to me?

Well, I remember my fight with Kiko after we got back from the obstetrician. That was worse than our fights before, maybe the worst. Then I remembered the divorce paper she showed me, the one we already signed years ago, she said she really want to divorce this time

Then I drove my car in a high speed, something I usually did when I need to release my stress

And the next thing was…. The white light that blinded me….

Next time I opened my eyes, view hours ago, I saw my parents. My Omma was crying while my Appa tried hard to calm her down. How bad my condition is?

Now I’m just lying here, alone, I think.

Because it’s so silent here

The only sound I can hear is my heartbeat… and those weird beeping sounds

But, wait… I think I just heard another sound..., Footsteps?

I try hard to listen and yes…, I think those are footsteps. Slowly, I open my eyes but damn! Why is so hard?

The footsteps stopped before I can open my eyes. But I don’t give up. I keep struggling to open my eyes. Slowly, my eyes are opened and how my heart almost stops from beating when I see who’s standing not so far from me

Even though his face is covered by mask, but those eyes…, I know exactly whose those eyes belong to…

God.., am I dreaming now?

“J-Jay….” I call his name with my shaking voice. He comes…. He comes to me… oh God….

“Y-you- are…-h-he-re….” I whisper his name again as he’s still standing frozen in his spot. My eyes are now blurry with tears. My feelings are mixed. Only God know how happy I am for finally being able to see him looking back at me….

I open my hand slowly, invite him to come closer. “J-Jay…” I whisper his name again. And God…, he comes closer to me….

My tears keep flowing, and my heart beats faster than ever. My son, he’s standing quietly beside my bed and looking at me. I can see his eyes are wet too

Chaerin, is she here too?

I look at his hurtful eyes and I can feel his emotion. I can feel his anger behind his tears. I can feel his disappointment upon me

Do I have right to call him ‘my son’? I left his Mom for another woman. I even told Chaerin to abort him.

God knows how I regret everything right after I said those stupid things. When I saw Chaerin hurtful eyes, I cursed myself instantly and I wanted to hug her tightly

I wanted to run back to her, knelled down and beg her forgiveness. But my stupid pride didn’t let me that time. And also…, my relationship with Kiko

I thought that I love Kiko and she was my other half. But again, I was wrong

Since that day, I realized how deep my feeling toward Chaerin, how strong I bond to her, and how helpless I am without her

Even though I ended up marrying Kiko, but my mind and soul is always on them, Chaerin, and our baby that later she named him Jayden

Not even a day I spent without thinking of them. My body was here with my wife, but my heart was thousands miles across the ocean, with the real loves of my life

Kiko knew that I have a son. Yeah, when the news about Chaerin’s pregnancy spread widely and people started to speculated about the baby’s daddy, Kiko already sensed that the baby belonged to mine

And when Jayden was born, when Chaerin posted his first picture, Kikowas freaked out as she was sure the baby was mine

And she was right

She was so mad at me but still didn’t let me go. I was stupidly happy that time, but then, she asked me to promise her. She asked me to cut any ties between Chaerin, our baby and I.

She asked me to never ever involve myself in their life. She asked me to stay away from their life forever and become hers only

And because that time I thought I love her more, I accepted her requests and promised her to never involve myself in their life

But my heart couldn’t lie…

Time passed and I couldn’t stop thinking about them every single day. I dreamed about them almost every night.

I always stalked every information of them and visited them regularly…, and secretly

My heart was bleeding so badly because I could only watch them from afar. I wanted to run to them, laughed with them, held my baby boy in my arms, taught him talk, walk and everything…

But then the reality punched me right in my head. I have no right to be with them. I even told Chaerin those ty stupid things. They must hate me…

But then I look at the boy again. My son, is now a teenage boy. He even has a beautiful girlfriend. Yeah, she has beautiful smile and a pair of beautiful green eyes. And I’m sure, she has great personality too. She has been Jay’s best friend since little kid

Jay… he looks at me right in the eyes. His anger is mixed with another emotion I can’t explain

“I-m ss-sor-ry…., Jay…” I utter my apology. He’s still standing there and looking at me quietly

“I’m re-allysso-rry….”

I repeat it. I know, no matter how much I repeat, it will never wipe my sins toward him and his mom

And I know, this might be too late. Way too late. But at least I got my chance to say this to him. To apologize him….

“Please…, for-g-give… me…” he’s looking at me deeply. I even see his fists clench. God… will he forgive me? I don’t think so…

“No…” the first word slips from his quivering lips as he pulled of his mask

“I will never forgive you”

Finally…, the words I scarred the most just spoken

My heart feels so ache even though I knew he would say that. And I feel weaker

God…, will I really die this time? No.., please… not before I get their forgiveness. You can take my soul, but please…, let me to receive their forgiveness first…

Let me to see Chaerin one more time and tell her how I regret every bad things I’ve done to her…, let me tell her how much I love her…

This is my one and only wish, and maybe the last….

Suddenly, my head starts to spin again. My lungs is like being squeezedand my breath becomes harder and more difficult

And then I hear something besides my bed beeping faster

I look at my son again. His face is now blurred, but I still can see his eyes

“What is this?” I hear he say in slightly panic tone. Then he pushes something repeatedly

“C’mon doctor….. c’mon….” he mutters as keep pushin