Breaking the Ice

Circling Fireflies: First Love
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Summary: The new group gets a visit from their families. Jae and Yunho have a talk.

A.N.: Some quick housekeeping:

1) Story chat is activated. IDK if you’ll ever use it, but I’ll happily answer any questions you ask there.

2) The winner of my poll for other ships you’d want to see in CF is…MinFood! You people crack me up. XD I’ll keep the poll open for another week, but after that it’ll be too late to change. You can vote here, if it matters to you.

3) As promised, this chapter is mostly fluff. Yay! But I think you all are going to like very very very much what happens in the next chapter. Brace yourselves.^^

 

 

—*—

 

Total chaos.

I stand just inside the apartment door and stare at all the people running around in the small space. It’s hard to tell what’s going on. A young girl in pigtails runs screaming past me into the hall. In the living room, Junsu is looking at something on a cell phone with Junho, his twin, while an older couple talks to them. His parents? Two of my sisters are chatting with Micky and an old man by the large windows, while my sister Seonhee wanders around the room. She sees me by the door and calls over her shoulder, “Umma! Joongie’s here!”

That does it. Everyone in the room turns to look at me. Crap. So much for my plan to sneak back in.

My mom pops her head out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

“Jaejoong! Where have you been? We came all the way in to town to visit you and you’re not even here?” Her voice is stern, but her face is concerned.

I bow. “Sorry, umma. I had to meet up with a friend for minute.” As more of my sisters pour into the already crowded living room, I look at them in bewilderment. “What are you all doing here?”

“What? That’s no way to greet your family. Get over here.” Umma motions me over. When I draw near, she pulls me close in a tight hug. My sisters jump on too, wrapping their arms around us, more and more piling on in a group hug. I’m surrounded by them, by the people I love most in the world and suddenly my mood lifts. For one moment, I forget my worries and all’s right with the world. I am loved.

My sisters squeeze in tighter, giggling. I can feel the laughter shaking their bodies, and it makes me laugh too. Soon we’re all laughing together, a big pile of giggling Kims. Over the top of their heads, I see Micky watching us from the living room. For once, he’s not smiling. He looks almost…jealous. Then he turns and leaves the room.

Umma breaks up the hug. “Alright, girls, enough! We have work to do.”

My sisters back away, still giggling. Umma grabs my hand and pulls me into the kitchen with her, chattering away as she prepares food.

“We got no warning at all! Manager Pak called with the news only this morning and told us to bring your belongings here. We brought your stuff from home and gave notice at your apartment, but I don’t know what to do with all your things there. Tell us what you want to keep, and I’ll send Minkyung over to pack it up. I guess we can sell anything you don’t want.”

“You keep the money from that. You need it more than I do.”

She briskly dices red cabbage. “Nonsense. We’re doing fine. Money isn’t tight like it was when you were younger, dear. Work is steady now. And your sisters help a lot.”

“I’m glad, but please let me help, too. I’ve been nothing but a burden to you.”

She sets down the knife and looks up at me.

“You’ve never been a burden. Not in any way. You are the joy of my life, you know that.” She reaches up and pats my cheek, eyes misty. “You’ve been a good son and brought me nothing but happiness. And now you’re going to be a famous singer! No mother could be prouder.”

She gives a firm nod, blinking back tears. Then she returns to the cutting board, her hands busy slicing again.

“Can I help with something?” I feel bad just standing there while everyone around me is working hard. Minkyung is putting groceries and dishes away in the glass-fronted cabinets, while Seonhee stirs something on the stove top. It smells delicious. I frown. “What are you doing cooking, anyway?”

“Why am I cooking? Because there wasn’t a crumb of food in this house when I got here. Five growing boys and nothing to eat.” She makes a tsk-ing sound. “You’ll waste away to nothing. Look at him. He’s starving.” She gestures toward the doorway with her knife.

I turn and see a guilty-looking Changmin blush as he’s caught sneaking out of the kitchen with a handful of sliced sweet potatoes. I didn’t even see him come in. But nothing escapes my umma. She shakes her head.

“We’re just cooking up some dinner for you boys to have tonight. I hope Manager Pak does a better job feeding you after today. You tell me if he doesn’t, and I’ll take care of him.” She hacks at the cabbage in savage swipes, as if picturing Pak’s face under her knife. Behind her, Minkyung smiles and rolls her eyes.

I walk over and kiss her cheek. She’s my oldest sister and like a second mother to me. When I was young, especially in middle school, I used to go to her with troubles I couldn’t tell umma—like problems with bullies and questions about dating. She helped and supported me no matter what, never telling my parents anything. Minkyung can keep a secret to the grave.

She smiles and looks me up and down. “You don’t look malnourished to me.”

“We’re not. We get plenty of food.”

“I believe it. You’re growing so tall. And you look so handsome and manly now.” She shakes her head. “Hard to imagine you’re the same little boy who always wore his sisters’ clothes to the mall.”

“Yah!”

She laughs, eyes mischievous. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell embarrassing stories about you to your new members. And I’ll keep umma quiet—for a price. Here.” She hands me a stack of plates. “Put these out on the dining room table.”

I give her a final “don’t you dare” look before doing as she asks.

I walk into the dining room and find Yunho’s sister folding linen napkins. Her face lights up when she sees me. “Ulzzang! How have you been?”

I bow and set the plates down. “I’m doing well. How are you?”

“Pssh! Don’t be so formal! I feel like we’re best friends, the way Yunho talks about you all the time.”

My heart flutters. “He does?”

She nods. “All we ever hear about is Four Seasons and practice and SM this and s that.”

“Oh. Of course.” Not what I was hoping. I stack folded napkins next to the plates, my eyes downcast to hide my disappointment.

“What stories are you making up now, brat?”

The voice comes from right behind me and my heart flutters again, harder than the first time. Yunho.

I raise my head for a peek at him. He’s a few feet away, ruffling Jihye’s hair and grinning with deviltry like only an older brother can. She scowls at him and slaps his hands away.

“Stop! You’re messing it up.”

“I know. That’s the whole point.” He scrubs her scalp again.

“Stop it!” She glances at me, red-faced, as she tries to rearrange her hair, then turns and runs off down the hallway. Embarrassed.

It’s just me and Yunho. He watches Jihye go, then turns to me with a determined look. Wait. I narrow my eyes. Did he drive her off on purpose?

“I really need to talk to you.” He wears the same troubled expression he’s worn all day. I can almost see the words “I’m sorry” stamped across his face. I don’t want to have this conversation. I already know what he’s going to say, so I wish we could skip the whole thing and just move on. But I know it’s a necessary step if we’re going to work things through and get back to normal.

I nod. “Yes, I want to. But I don’t think now is the righ—“

“Yunho!”

Jihye charges back into the room, dragging Yunho’s elegant mother behind her. Mrs. Jung is wearing a soft, pearl-gray silk suit with a cream blouse. Jewels sparkle at and wrists. Her expression is puzzled as her daughter pulls her forward, but then she sees me and gives a warm smile.

“Jaejoong, right? We met before at the hospital.”

I bow low, awed by her. I think of what Heechul said. She has presence.

“Umma, Yunho was messing up my hair!”

“I can see that. Sometimes siblings do that. You’ve done it to him often enough. Maybe you should go tidy up.” Her face is calm, but the rebuke is clear. Jihye looks at her in angry astonishment for a moment, then stomps off down the hall. She glares at Yunho over her shoulder as she goes.

Mrs. Jung turns back to me. “I’ve been hoping to see you again so I could thank you, Jaejoong. Yunho told us about your lessons with him. He says your techniques saved his voice and let him sing again. It meant the world to him. To all of us.”

Her arm reaches out and wraps around Yunho’s shoulders, pulling him close to her side. Just like that time in the hospital, love for her son radiates from her. “We’re indebted to you. If there’s anything we can do for you…”

I wave my arms in frantic denial. Indebted? Just the opposite.

“No, no! Please! Yunho has done so much for me since I came to SM. I was grateful to have a chance to repay him in some small way for his kindness.”

“Repay who? For what?”

My mother’s tone is sharp as she walks forward into the room carrying a tray of side dishes. Minkyung is right behind her with a large bowl of kimchi. They set the food down and look at Mrs. Jung with flat eyes.

“Our Jaejoong owes you something?” Umma’s voice is quiet, but both she and my sister assume a protective position on either side of me, set for battle. Uh-oh.

Mrs. Jung is undaunted. She inclines her head, all grace and manners. “He says so, but we’re the grateful ones. Yunho went through a terrible time after the surgery and Jaejoong was a big help to him, I understand.”

I feel my mother and sister relax on either side of me. Thank god. The last thing I need is for them to get into a fight with another member’s family on our very first day as a group.

I can tell that Umma is proud, but doesn’t want to brag. “Our Jaejoong did what any friend would do. Yunho helped him a lot his first year here. Oh, he didn’t say much, but we could tell that he was having a hard time. Bullies, you know. He’s always had trouble fitting in. But then, he’s always worked so hard to stand out with his strange fashion and such.” She pats my arm like I’m a child.

Humiliating.

Yunho slides me a look. His face stays expressionless, but his eyes twinkle as he looks in my direction. Laughing at me.

“Well, it’s a good thing they’ve become close friends. And now their group is finally debuting! It was smart of SM to consider their bond and keep them together. I hear that the life of an idol is very demanding. They’ll need people they can rely on.”

Umma nods vigorously. “Oh yes, you need friends to lean on when things get hard.”

Her words give me a sudden, vivid flashback: Yunho pressing me against the tree in the moonlight, his lean body pressed hard against mine.

“So true! Close friends get you through all of life’s ups and downs. Nothing’s too rough to handle when a good friend lends a hand.”

“Yes, and working so hard together, I’m sure these two will be close in ways we can’t imagine.”

All three ladies nod.

“They say it’s lonely on top, but not when these two have each other’s backs!”

Oh my god.

Why does everything they say sound so ual? Or is it just me? My mind has a distressing habit of making everything related to Yunho somehow. But when I dare to steal a glance at him, his cheeks are pink, too. I wonder if he’s picturing the same things I am. Our eyes meet, then dart away. If things between us were awkward before, now they’re much, much worse. Kill me.

Oblivious to our reactions, the three women continue their bonding.

“But this apartment! I mean, I understand that they’re just boys and it’s only a dormitory, but you’d think that somewhere in all those complicated contract terms, decent housing would be listed.”

“I guess it depends on your idea of decent. Defining terms is critical in contract law…”

Mrs. Jung keeps Yunho clamped to her side as she speaks, so I decide to slip away and recover from my embarrassment. As I bow and sidle off, he shoots me a frustrated look. Sorry, Yunho.

I make my way to the back hall where the bedrooms are located. I’m about to enter my room, when Junsu pokes his head out of the room he shares with Changmin.

“Yah! Jaejoong! Come here.” He seems excited.

Curious, I follow after him into the bedroom. Junho is sitting on one bed watching videos on a laptop, and Changmin is stretched out on the other bed. The maknae shoots me a warning look as I enter, but I’m not sure what it’s for.

“What’s going on?” I ask, waving a greeting to Junho. He nods, then looks back at the screen. Tinny piano music plays on the laptop speakers and he lets out a bark of laughter.

“Do you have any pets?” Junsu asks me.

“No, I don’t. My sisters have some.”

“Cats?”

“No, fish. And a hamster.” I don’t know what to think of this conversation. “Why?”

“My parents linked me a bunch of videos of our cats, and I was wondering if you wanted to look at them with us.”

“Videos of your cats? Uh…” I look over at Junho who is still enraptured by the laptop display. I’m afraid I know what he’s watching. Changmin’s warning look makes sense now. “I’d love to, but I promised my sister I’d get her something from my room.”

“Oh, okay. We can a

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_Mirabella_
Many readers requested that I add links to the real-life DBSK moments that I include in the story. I can't include them all, of course, but I'll go through the chapters and add links for key moments. I'll start with Mad Love then update First Love. Hope this helps you all picture it better! ^^

Comments

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yoonshi91
#1
Chapter 16: Hi Mira! So instead of re-reading AoT (which I initially planned to do), I was feeling nostalgic and so I read Fireflies again. I can't express how thankful I am to you for having this story, where I can always come back to read whenever I miss them as 5. :') Your links also made me start searching for all things related to their debut and all of them were so so cute when they were young! xD

Anyway, just wanted to drop a thank you note to you because I realised I've never commented on this story before >.< Hope you're staying safe and healthy, both physically and mentally! :)
Shubha #2
Chapter 13: Wow what a gud story i want more from you pls can u write some more....
Suju_505 #3
Chapter 17: For God, your fic is so good, cute, awesome, I laughed a lot and cried dnjdjf but it's okay anyways I loved the fic, great job!!! Thnks for publish this
Suju_505 #4
Chapter 15: Jaejoong!!! I'm so proud of you!!! Jsbxjdbdh
Suju_505 #5
Chapter 6: I love this AaAAA
NinePlusOne #6
Chapter 17: I just read First Love again, and I love it!! Thank you Mira for writing this beautiful story!!
phinea2009 #7
Chapter 16: Mira, I can’t for the life of me remember reading this chapter and since I didn’t leave a comment just proves I didn’t. So sorry dear girl.

I felt like a proud mom at her kids’ debut. I went to watch the YouTube vids and I just felt so proud of these precious boys.
Mimilove36
#8
I finished reading it
Akalun
#9
Chapter 13: my poor Jae TwT i feel his hurt and i just want him to be happy
ruijja
#10
Chapter 17: Amazing!!! I love everything in this fic and can't wait to read the following parts!! Your writing is impeccable and you captured their personalities so well. I can't believe I had this masterpiece saved in my bookmarks for like a year. Should've read it sooner ㅜㅜ Thank you!