We are teleported again. This time, I’m in the house; a small house but it looks so comfy.

“Where are we?”

I ask Luhan. This house is new for me. I don’t think I have seen a house like this.

“New York.”

New York? This doesn’t look New York to me. Why am I here? Whose house is this?

Suddenly, I hear the door was opened by someone. I wait until that person enters. I gulp when I see Luhan and some other girl enter the house together. They stumble while trying to enter the living room which I and Luhan are sitting on the couch. I figure out that they must be drunk.

Both of them face each other and smile before Luhan kisses that girl. This is the first time I have seen a couple kissing in front of my eyes. Suddenly, my sight turns dark. I place my hand on my eyes but I felt a pair of hands on them. Luhan covered my eyes with his hands.

“Why did you cover my eyes? I want to see it.”

I try to remove his hands from my eyes but his hands are very strong.

“You shouldn’t see it. It’s not for you.”

“It’s not fair! You see this every day but why I can’t see this? You told me that I should know my future so let me see it.”

I struggle to let go of his hands from my hands.

“When I say you can’t see it that means you can’t see it. If I let you see this, your eyes and your brain will be spoiled by dirty things.”

I sigh. I guess I have to give up myself. I really want to know what happened but he didn’t allow me. The next thing I know is I hear someone slammed the door. It is so loud.

Then, Luhan removes his hands from my eyes. I blink to adjust the light. When I could see clearly, I look around the house but no one is there except us.

“Where are they going?”

“To the room.”

I stand up to go the room but he grasps my wrist and pulls me back to the couch. What is wrong with him? I want to know what happen inside the room but he forbids me.

“Don’t go there. It’s not for you.”

He begs. I sit back on the couch. I really want to know what happened there. Maybe I should ask him. He goes through this every day; he must know what happened inside the room.

“What are they doing inside?”

He takes his time to answer and stammers a lot.

“Adult things?”

What is that? What does he mean?

“I bet you had going inside the room before.”

“Yeah, I did. And I regret it.”

Regret?

“Why?”

“I feel disgust with myself. When this part comes, I will sit here.”

“Why?”

Instead of answering my question, he quickly covers my ears. I don’t know why he did that. I can’t hear anything. I try to remove his hands but his hands still attached on my ears. He covers my ears for a very long time. I think around more than hour, he releases his hands from my ears. I feel like the back of my ears sticking on my head. He has strong hands.

“Let’s go!”

He pulls my hand without I manage to ask him anything. We pass through the door and it leads us to a dark but with a little light, loud music and there are a lot of people here. They are dancing crazily.

“Where are we?”

I ask Luhan but he couldn’t hear. The music is too loud that I could feel the beat all over my body.

“WHERE ARE WE?”

I have to shout at him near his ear.

“In the club.”

He replies back with a shout. Club? I thought only 21 and above allowed to enter the club. Wait! I forgot that this is not the real world. Stupid me! Luhan pulls my hand and goes to certain place. I see him; Luhan. He was drinking and it looks like he had no energy left. It’s like his soul has left his body.

He leaves the place but he couldn’t walk properly. He stumbles a lot but he manages to get out from the club. We follow him until he reaches his car. He can’t drive at this moment, right?

Luhan suddenly pulls my hand again. What now? He pulls my hand until we reach at some street. In front of my eyes, I see two cars were collided each other. If I’m not mistaken, I have seen this car. It wasn’t that long after I realize that this car is actually belongs to Luhan. Why am I not so surprise about this? I know that people say that you shouldn’t drive if you consumed alcohol. Definitely it’s his fault.

I see that he was taken into the police car. He’s definitely arrested for drunk driving. I look at him. What happened to him? It’s just not like him. He is shivering like crazy.

“What’s wrong?”

He jumps a little when I touched him. He immediately pulls my hand again and suddenly it’s like a magic. I’m in front of Luhan. In prison.

“I’m scared.”

I turn to him. His forehead is sweating. He is shaking like he has a fever or something. But I think I heard that he said he’s scared. Scared of what? This is the first time I see him like this. His face looks like he’s in fear. Is this the fear that he’s talking about?

“This is your fear?”

He nods rapidly while rubbing his palm. Well, I don’t know what exactly his fear is.

“What is your fear actually?”

“I’m scared of police.”

I turn and smile widely. There’s a reason behind that wide smile. Actually, I’m trying to hold my laugh. Who would’ve thought a rebellious boy is scared of police?

“Why?”

There must be a reason why he’s scared of them.

“My friends and I went to a shop. I thought that they’re going to buy something but it turned out that they wanted to steal. We didn’t realize that the owner was there and he screamed at us. At the same time, there were two police passed by and the owner told them to catch us.” He gulps before continues.

“The police chased all of us but I’m not a good runner compared to my friends. In the end, the police caught me and called my parents. I told them that I didn’t do it and I didn’t know that they wanted to steal but the police didn’t believe me. My parents begged them to let me go and they will punish me with their own, so they let go of me.” He takes a deep breath and continues again.

“My parents punished me no matter how many times I told them that I’m innocent. I told them everything but they didn’t listen to me. That’s why I become like this. I don’t listen to them because they don’t listen to me. I was a good kid before that happened.” He looks down with a sad expression on his face.

Even though he tells me about his past, what is the fear of police having anything to do about it?

“Then, why did you scared of police?”

“I remembered when the police caught me. It feels like that. Whenever I see a police, I will look down and avoid any eye contact with them.”

That makes you look like a criminal more. People will suspicious if you do that. I don’t know what to say about his past but that’s the reason why he became a rebellious. Hopefully, he will change that.

Right now, we’re at the food court in shopping complex. This time, it’s my future self story. She is sitting there like waiting for someone. But I wonder what happened to me after Luhan left me alone in airport?

“Joohyun!”

Someone called me and it’s my best friend, Yoona. We hug each other and I’m happy that we still be friends when we’re growing up. She’s my only best friend. The one who always be with me.

“It’s been four years since we said goodbye in airport.”

Already four years? That long? I’m curious what did I do for my life after he left me.

“I would like to say thank you for telling your sister to give me a place to stay. If not, I don’t know what I should do when I’m here.”

“Not at all. I’m happy that you finished your study in teaching course. I mean, that’s your dream when you were young. When I heard that you got an offer to study architecture in oversea, I’m surprised that you accepted it.”

Architecture? Since when I like architecture? But we’ll never know about our future but this is the future, right?

“So Joohyun, you never told me about your husband after he left you in airport. Who is your husband by the way? Do I know him?

Yoona asked me about that. I look at myself and she’s struggling to answer. She stammers a lot.

“L-Luhan. You know him, right? The captain of soccer team in our school.”

“Him?! Really?! Oh my goodness, Joohyun! I can’t believe this! I can’t believe that he did that to you and I can’t believe that your dream came true! You got married with him!”

Why did Yoona looks so happy that I got married with Luhan and how does she know him? My dream came true? What does she meant?

“Please, Yoona! I don’t want to talk about that.”

Even I wouldn’t want to talk about that too. We talk a lot during our meeting and stop when Yoona needs to go somewhere. We hug each other and bid farewell. I follow myself and come across with Yifan, Luhan’s brother.

“How are you, Joohyun?”

I realized that Yifan is taller than Luhan. He’s like a giant. I notice that Luhan who is standing next to me looks frown while looking at me and his brother together. Why? Jealous much? Look what you do to me in future!

“Why don’t you go back to your home after Luhan left you?”

I think about that too. I recall when I thanked Yoona for telling her sister to give me a place to stay. That means I didn’t go back? Did my parents know about this?

“I don’t want to embarrass my parents and your mother about what Luhan did to me. I have to lie to my parents that I’m fine with him and that I’m in New York with him when in reality that I’m studying here while working various jobs for my university fees. I don’t want them to know about this.”

I lie to my parents? I’m Seo Joohyun. I will never tell a lie even a little. I’m surprise that I found out that I lie to my parents about me and Luhan.

“Your parents asked us about you and Luhan. That’s because you rarely call them and when they called you, you didn’t answer. Don’t worry. I lie to them about both of you too.”

How nice he is when he lies to my parents for my sake. He’s a nice guy.

Right now, I’m at home. My parents’ home. I sit there with my parents in front of me.

“Mom! Dad! I want to tell you the truth.”

Is she going to tell the truth about what happen to me and Luhan?

“Actually, for these 4 years, I-I-I’m not with Luhan and I’m not in New York with him.”

I expect that shocking reaction from my parents.

“He left me when I was about to enter the departure door but my passport was with him. I asked for Yoona’s help and her sister helped me getting a place for me. I worked a lot of job so that I will pay everything for my studies. I graduated from university and now I’m a teacher.”

I’m a teacher?! Yay! Maybe that’s what Yoona meant that my dream came true.

“Why don’t you come back here?”

“I don’t want to embarrass you and Luhan’s mother. I mean, people will talk about me and you as well as his mother. I don’t want anyone to be other people’s talk just because of him and me.”

“It’s okay, Joohyun. But I have a request for you. Please don’t tell Mrs. Lu about this. She’s not in good condition.”

I notice that I mentioned about Luhan’s mother. What happened to his father though? I remember earlier that his father arranged me and Luhan to get married. Then, there’s a phone call from my phone. It’s Yifan. How do I know? I feel like I’m watching a drama because I can hear what he says through the phone clearly.

“Joohyun, Luhan is back.”

Luhan gets out from taxi and brings along his luggage and other things. He walks to my neighborhood and I’m guessing he’s going to his house. Suddenly, he stops at one house; my house. I’m there; while watering the flowers. He drops his bag and the sound of his bag dropping is loud enough for me to turn around. I look so surprise like it’s so surprising and we didn’t mutter anything. Only the sound of bird chirping everywhere.

“How are you doing, Joohyun?”

He asks like there’s nothing happened between us. I’m so annoy with him, I mean, his future self.

“I’m fine.”

She just answers shortly before going inside the house. That’s how you teach him, although I wish that I shouldn’t answer him. Luhan pulls me and we’re going to the pond which is near Luhan’s house. I’m with Yifan. Honestly, I think I’m having fun talking to Yifan. I wonder why I didn’t get married with him instead.

“I don’t know how to react when I saw him in front of my house.”

I think I’m talking about Luhan to him.

“I don’t understand. Why your father arranged me and Luhan? I mean, you know how he is. It doesn’t make sense at all. He could’ve asked you to get married instead of arranging us. I know that he wanted to see one of his sons to get married before he died. So, why not you?”

Now I get why I mentioned about Luhan’s mother all the time. That means his father died after we got married.

“Actually, my father asked me if I have someone in mind. I said that I have and it was you.”

I knew it that he likes me when I saw him looking at me in airport when I found out about my future. But what I don’t get is why I look so shock like extremely shock.

“T-Then w-why?”

I’m really shock that I stammer when asking. What’s wrong with that though?

“My father thought by marrying you with Luhan, he would change his attitude. He wanted you to help him to cross the right path. I guess it’s not working at all.”

How am I going to help him when he ran away from me? It’s definitely not working at all.

“Joohyun, can I ask you something? Why did you agree to marry Luhan when you’re mad at me because you thought that I’m the one who was going to marry you?”

I forgot about that. I disagreed about the marriage at first but agreed when it’s Luhan. I look at myself. She looks so anxious.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Yifan oppa.”

I hear Luhan groans beside me. I’m guessing that he’s jealous because I’m calling Yifan as oppa.

“It’s okay, Joohyun. I’m fine with it. You know, I have someone that I like and this time it’s not you.”

I didn’t say anything. I’m silent all the time.

“You like Luhan, don’t you?”

I choke myself and cough. Meanwhile, Luhan eyes me with a sad gaze. I look at myself. She’s silent again but her eyes show that she didn’t expect that Yifan knows about it. You really like Luhan, Joohyun? I can’t believe this!

“Since when?”

“Since your family moved here.”

Oh, they will move here in the future? No wonder!

“I don’t remember you talking to him. Not even once. Did you talk to him in school?”

“Because you’re clinging with me when you moved here. I didn’t have a chance to talk to him but I’m scared to talk to him because he looks so cold. I admit that I look at him whenever I had a chance but I can’t make eye contact with him. I remember when he was playing soccer in school field, he scored a goal and I was admiring him when he turned to me and I looked away to avoid his eyes.”

I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks when I hear that. What was that?

“I remember that I dragged you into my house and I kept showing a lot of things to you while Luhan was in his room as always.”

I turn to my right and realize that Luhan is not here. Where is he? I turn around and found him; with him at the window with a sad look on his face while watching me and Yifan. I go to him and he looks at me with that sad eyes. Please don’t look at me like that, Luhan! You’re making me become so weak! Wait! What am I talking about? Why did I think about that?

Future Luhan goes outside and we follow him until we reach my house. What is he doing here?

“Luhan, why are you coming here?”

My mother asks him in surprise.

“I’m looking for Joohyun. I want to meet her.”

“Joohyun is not here. She said that she’s going somewhere.”

“Where?”

“I’m sorry Luhan but I don’t know. I really don’t know. She didn’t say where is she going but she just said that she’s going somewhere.”

“It’s okay. Thank you, eommonim.”

He groans while ruffling his hair. Where did I go?

“We will reach in Jeju-”

I hear the announcement in flight and I see Luhan sitting in the plane. He’s going to Jeju today. What is he doing here and why are we here?

He walks with a box on his hands. He reaches at an orphanage house and knocks the door. The door is opened and his eyes widen all of sudden. I look at the person at the door and surprise that she’s me. I’m in Jeju. But what am I doing in Jeju especially in an orphanage house? Both of them stare at each other for a long time before they are interrupted by a young guy behind Luhan.

“Mr. Lu?”

“Oh, I’m sorry! We’re giving out foods, drinks, and clothes for charity. I hope that you will accept this.”

My future self looks dumbfounded at first but let them in to put all their stuffs. The kids in the orphanage look so happy with all the things coming. The volunteers told me that they will spend their day with the kids and they will do everything for them. She looks so surprise with that. Probably their visit is not expected from them. But it’s good that someone will help them.

Luhan has been staring at her for a long time. She looks at him but avoids him before he grabs my arm.

“Joohyun! I need to talk to you.”

They sit on the bench and no one is there, not even the kids from the orphanage. It was so awkward that both of them didn’t say anything.

“What about us?”

“What do you mean, Luhan-shi?”

“Our relationship. Do you want to come back or the opposite?”

He struggles when he says ‘the opposite’. Actually, I don’t understand this conversation at all.

“What about you?”

“I want you to come back and start our life again but it’s your decision. If you don’t want this, you can just ask me to let you go.”

“I need some time to think about this. Now excuse me, I need to go inside.”

After Luhan go back to Seoul, I notice that he gives an email to me every day to talk about what he and his family going through every day. He also mentions about my parents too. But lately he didn’t send anything and I’m wondering why. That’s when I receive a phone call from Yifan.

“Joohyun! Luhan has been shot while he tried to save an old lady in the bank during a robbery happened!”

I drop my phone and run out immediately.

I see myself sitting on the chair next to Luhan’s lying body on the bed. His head is wrapped with a bandage and he was shot on his head. I notice that he changes a lot after he was in the prison. From a charity to saving an old woman. Personally, I impress and I think I start to like him but I don’t want my future to be like this. I don’t want to be humiliated by him in airport.

He groans and opens his eyes. I go to him with worried look and ask him in worried voice.

“Are you okay?”

Luhan bolts upright and his eyes are wide open after he sees me. He immediately hugs me tightly.

“Joohyun! You came back. You came back. Please don’t leave me. Please!”

He mumbles while hugging me tightly. I’m surprise to see him like this. This is the first time in this dream of future, he cries. He let go of me and kisses my hands before he caresses my hands with his thumbs. He removes his ring from his finger and places it in my ring finger.

“Joohyun, do you remember this ring? It’s our wedding ring. You didn’t wear it and I understand that but from now on, please don’t take off this ring. I’m begging you.”

She takes her bag while searching something. Then, she takes Luhan’s hand and places her wedding ring in Luhan’s ring finger.

“Then you shouldn’t take this ring off.”

“I won’t, Joohyun. I would never ever.”

He leans to me and I close my eyes. The next thing I see that both of them kissing each other. I avoid that and take a glance at Luhan but he’s smiling. This is the first time I see him smiling. So many unexpected things happens at once; Luhan’s tears and Luhan’s genuine smile.

After that happened, both of them start to get really close and become even more romantic. Future Luhan will usually kiss future Joohyun all the time. Did I tell you that I accidently enter their room and only to find out that their clothes are on the floor and I realize that I didn’t wear anything along with him? I shriek and Luhan hugs me while covering my eyes. He chuckles at my reaction.

Then, Luhan sits next to me with a sad face. He puts his left hand behind my shoulder and kisses my cheek.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to New York to settle some work there. I wish you would come with me.”

“You know I can’t. I have school tomorrow and it’s a teacher job to teach them.”

They bid farewell at home. Joohyun couldn’t follow him to the airport because she’s going to school. I don’t know how many times that I watch our future acting so mushy. It’s a cringe worthy.

That evening, my future self sit in front of television while watching the news.

“Breaking news! A flight from Seoul to New York has crashed into the sea-”

I stun with the news. New York? Luhan is going to New York! Could he be-

“No! No! Luhan oppa!”

She’s crying. I look at the television screen and Luhan’s name is there.

I think this story is so confusing. Probably because I fast forward it.