Donghae

He can’t remember, he can’t remember when the last time they spent time together, he can’t remember when the last time his boyfriend hugged him, kissed him or even cuddled him.

He understood, he really did, because after all, his boyfriend was the dance club president and  the student council president, and above all the part time job that he has. But all he knows that even before his boyfriend was busy but he always found time to spend with him, so what is it then?

Maybe there is a dance competition or something, because when he would call his boyfriend he would tell him that he is in the dance studio.

He decided to pack some food for his boyfriend and bring it to him; he felt thats the least he can do for his beloved boyfriend because he knew that sometime hyukjae neglect his eating if he is dancing.

But what he sow is different, there is no one there except of his boyfriend with someone that he didn’t see before and they weren’t dancing, not at all, they were sitting chatting and laughing with each other and they are rather so close to each other.

“hyukjae?” he said

“d..donghae, you…you are here.” He stuttered.

“you are not practicing.”

“Actually we…we wrapped up half an hour ago.”

“And you still here, why?” he was in a verge of tearing; his boyfriend has time to chat with this man and not with him.

“I…I was…” he cuts of hyukjae and said to the man.

“I’m sorry I don’t want to be rude for the first time we meet, but can you leave us for a second.”

“ah, yeah yeah sure.” He then turned to hyukjae and said “I’ll be waiting outside ok.”

Donghae chuckled bitterly and said:

“That was funny it was like he is your boyfriend. he will be waiting outside?”

He looked at hyukjae but he sow that he was looking elsewhere he was like avoiding his eyes.

“tell me please hyukjae what's this all about?”

But nothing comes out.

“am I that unimportant that you wouldn’t have the decently to break up with me, you are going around having fun in your life not thinking for a moment that there is someone that called your boyfriend is waiting for you, for at least a minute off your precious time. TELL ME WHY?”

“ I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, I’M SORRY, WHAT I’M GOING TO DO WITH IT, you freaking left me hanging thinking that you are tiring yourself, I was worried about you and you are here with someone, laughing and having fun.”

“It is not what you think.”

“Then what is it, tell me, and at least be honest with me,and for the sake of us, please be honest.”

“I don’t know what I feel anymore, it just since Kai transferred here and he joined the club I was somehow attracted to him, he is just interested in things that I’m interested to, and when I’m with him I feel like I want to stay talking to him, he is funny and we share so much intrest, he is so easy to handle.”

“Before, you liked the fact that we are different from each other and now…”

 “I liked that, but now I liked this too, I told you that I don’t know what I feel, I wasn’t sure if I want to let you go before I’m sure about my feeling.”

“DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF? So you wanted me to wait for you highness  until you sort off your feeling, and then if you find out that you no longer need me then you would through me away. THE HELL WITH YOU LEE HYUKJAE.” That was the last drop .he felt hurt, so much hurt, he loves hyukjae so much, but in the same time he was grown to appreciate himself, if he would do everything for his love to be happy, then he also wants for his lover to do the same for him and he absolutely won’t accept any lesser.

“It’s not that, I just didn’t want to lose each other for a fling, and then we will regret it.”

“You will be the only one that you will regret this lee hyukjae.” Donghae said while heading out.

“donghae, please just…” hyukjae said desperately, he still didn’t want to let go.

Donghae stopped but didn’t look back.

“Please what? Should I watch you cheating on me? Or perhaps watch you falling in love with someone else that would be perfect for you.” he said bitterly.

“donghae I still love you.”

“Do you? Did you even tell him that you already have a boyfriend?” he said turning to hyukjae.

No answer, just like he thought.

“I love you so much and you know that I would do everything for you, hell I would kill for you, but I would do that if you deserve it, if I know one hundred percent that you love me as I love you. I promised my father that I would be happy he brought me and did everything for me so I would live happy, so I won’t wait for you to break my heart, you already did, you did so many time before but I would always find a reason for you, but not anymore not when I know that you don’t love me enough to stop yourself from being this selfish, you are looking for you happiness, you should’ve think about me at least a little bit.”

He then head off to the door but before opening it he said:

“And you don’t have to tell him that you have a boyfriend, because we are over.”

He then left, his heart ached so much, why hyukjae did that to him, he know that he was a good boyfriend, he did everything that hyukjae asked him to, but what hurt him more that hyukjae never thought of telling him the truth, what if he didn’t go to that studio, he would be living in the lies. Why hyukjae? Why?

Being strong that what he liked about himself, he would never stop living just because hyukjae left him, people should live, people should appreciate their life, and you would never know what will happen to you tomorrow. He is sad; yes he is mad, yes. But he would never think about stopping living the way his father wanted him to, be happy that’s what his father told him, so he will be happy. Love yourself, that’s what his father told him to, so he will love himself, people say that the best thing is to live with someone that you love and he loves you. so if he would love someone but that person never returned his love or even loved him less ,then no he won’t cling to him, he knows that there is someone there that mean for him.