chapter 5

At night I was having those horrid nightmares again. It keeps coming back and I will be waking up through the middle of the night. I turn my lamp on and started reading. It keeping my heart calm, and I took deep breaths every once in a while.

I look through my window and there were so many stars. They were so beautiful that I envy them. There all up in the sky and nothing can touch them. There are untouchable. I was feeling my scars and I flinch from feeling the roughness of my scars. I sigh and decided to draw. I started sketching the stars. Taking each detail one at the time.

The next morning I woke up bright an early. I slept around two and I tend to wake up early and right now it six. That means I only had three hours of sleep. I don’t feel tired. I got ready for school like normal, but I still look at my scar on my face. It really noticeable unless I hide my face in my hood. I took out my favorite hoodie that Mrs. Song bought for me.

I smile at the thought. She is such an angel sent from above. My angel. I walk down the endless stairs, sometimes I get nervous just looking at it because it like looking down. I don’t like looking down. I took quiet steps hoping I don’t wake up Mrs. Song and Mr. Sing also Yunho. I don’t think he really likes me.

I couldn’t really blame him. I’m ugly and I’m such a sin too this world. I’m basically broken, actually not broken but broken. I’m broken. I walk through the kitchen and took a glass of water. Even water felt like it was too true to be real. Water burns my throats in some occasions which I don’t understand. It supposed to be gentle. I sat down on the couch nice and tall. Sitting properly with my shoulders high, my back straight and my chest out. I took out my paper and began to draw again. After sitting like an idiot for ten minutes. I drew the living room, taking in each patter and carefully drawing.

I heard a door close and I yelp like a little girl I am. I sat back down on the couch and having my face planted between my papers hoping the person won’t see me. I heard footsteps coming down and I got scared. I shouldn’t be scared, but those steps