Chapter 46

The hall was already dark and silent when Kris stepped out of his room after the shower. He trudged down the hallway toward Jinho's room passing Lin's. Lin had bid goodnight half an hour ago and his mom had left for the hospital after coming back from dropping off Grandpa at the airport. Yeojin probably had fallen asleep too in Jinho's room. She wanted to stay at the mansion with her brother while her mom is in the hospital, and Kris went with her wish.

Carefully he opened the door to Jinho's room and peeked in. The room was completely dark. With only little amount of light from outside seeping in through the little gaps between the curtains, he could make out the silhouette of Yeojin hugging her brother.

A soft sigh escaped his lips. He couldn't imagine how shocked they were. Yeojin was silent throughout the drive home. Sitting at the back seat, she kept on holding onto Jinho's hand as if afraid the boy would disappear if she let go. Kris wished he could comfort them more. But now, seeing them able to sleep peacefully was enough.

He turned around and pulled the door to close it, but he suddenly heard a faint sniff. He paused and peeked inside the room again hearing another sniff. Carefully, he slipped inside the room and closed the door behind him.

"Yeojin? Are you awake?" He approached the bed. There was no answer, but Kris was sure she was awake. "Jin?" He tried again as he sat on the edge of the bed beside the sleeping Jinho.

Yeojin was hugging the boy for dear life. Her brows were furrowed. Though her eyes were closed, Kris knew she was just trying to pretend she was asleep. With a sigh, he ran his hand through her hair. Startled, Yeojin opened her eyes and peered up at him who gave her a small smile.

"Pretending to sleep huh? You should know by now that you can't lie to me." Kris softly chuckled still caressing her head. When Yeojin's gaze strayed down to Jinho, he asked, "Are you okay?"

Yeojin pursed her lips and brooded over what to answer until she decided to just shake her head. She squeezed her eyes when she choked on a sob.

"Shhh." Kris's hand slid down to cup her cheek and wiped a drop of tear that just escaped her eyes with the pad of his thumb. "You'll wake your brother up," he whispered.

Yeojin bit down her trembling lip to hold back the tears. She hugged her brother closer.

"Everything's gonna be okay. I'm here," Kris told her while her back to calm her down. He shifted on the bed and rested his back on the headboard.

They stayed like that for a long while in silence. Yeojin eventually calmed down but still couldn't fall asleep. Kris, on the other hand, didn't stop her head and playing with her hair. Looking down at Yeojin and then at Jinho between them, he wondered if this is what it would look like later if they have their own family. A smile curled on his lips, but he couldn't help but to fear that Yeojin would push him away again.

"Kris," Yeojin finally spoke up.

"Hm?"

Yeojin didn't take her eyes off her brother while she ran her hand through the boy's hair much like what Kris was doing with hers. "I..." She sighed. "I... can't love you back."

Kris' hand abruptly stopped her head as a sudden pain squeezed his heart. Hovering over her head, his hand curled into fist. For a short moment, he almost lost himself, but he gulped down the pain and confusion and gently her head again.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I-"

"We'll talk about this tomorrow, alright? Now stop talking and sleep. You need it," he told her while patting her head.

She finally looked up at him, but it only tore his heart even more. He couldn't stand seeing her moist eyes. He couldn't stand seeing her cry because she couldn't love him back. The thought of her pushing him away again pained him more. This was what he feared most when he heard her mom fell.

"Kris-"

He silenced her with a quick peck on her lips. She looked surprised, but he really wasn't ready to hear her again. He started standing up with a sigh.

"I'll go back to my room." He forced himself to pull on a smile. "Sleep, okay?" He patted her head again and turned away. Yet, he turned back around a second later and leaned down to give long kiss on her forehead. "Good night."

Sehun stared at the ceiling and groaned. He had been tossing and turning for hours, but he still couldn't sleep. He couldn't forget the state Yeojin and Kris were in when they arrived at the hospital. They both weren't wearing any jacket. He guessed it was because they were in panic and hurried to the hospital. But that wasn't what really bothered Sehun.

Kris' hair was tousled messily. His shirt wasn't tucked in properly, and he thought he spotted bits of what looked like dough on his hair. Sehun didn't want to let his imagination ran wild, but Yeojin's slightly swollen lip and the mark on her neck gave it away. It aggravated him to think of what they were doing before they got the phone call. It made breathing hard to know he had no right to touch her the way Kris could.

When he saw how broken Yeojin was, he wanted to hug her so bad. Yet, Kris moved closer to her as if telling him to back off. Sehun believed that really was what the guy wanted to say. Frustration was overwhelming him right now just by thought of it. But then, guilt crept inside him when he remembered that it was what Yeojin's mom wished too.

Sehun came back in with a plastic bag of bottled drinks for everyone after taking a phone call from his mom. He found everyone asleep. Lin, Jinho and Kris passed out on the couch while Yeojin slept on the chair beside her mother's bed, resting her head on her folded arms. He approached the bed and set the plastic bag down on the table before glancing at Yeojin. Seeing her only in sweater, he sighed and took off his jacket. Gently, he draped it on her and patted her head with a small smile.

He missed her.

Sehun jumped back when he heard a soft groan from her mother who was holding the side of her head trying to get up. He quickly came to her side and told her to lay down before offering her a drink. Lying back down after taking a sip of her drink, she smiled and thanked him. She then stared at her sleeping daughter while Sehun pushed a button on her bed to call the nurse.

"You care about my daughter," Yeojin's mother suddenly spoke while caressing the girl's head as they waited for the nurse.

Taken aback, Sehun didn't know what to reply. He suddenly grew nervous wondering if she knew of what was actually going on between Yeojin and him. He wished she didn't.

"Thank you for being her good friend." The elder woman smiled at him and he hesitantly nodded. Her eyes then traveled to the sleeping trio on the couch before they settled on Yeojin again. "There may be some things you don't know about her yet; but I hope when you do know-" She looked at him with a smile again "- you will stay as her friend."

Friend.

Sehun sighed and brought his arm to cover his eyes. He felt guilty toward Yeojin's mother all over again because he could never see Yeojin just as a friend. What could he do? He had fallen too deep for someone else's wife.

Yeojin hesitated to knock on Kris' door. She wished she could just pretend like nothing happened between them yesterday, but she knew she couldn't run from it. She had to tell him her thoughts now. Her heart had been in a state of disarray. But after much thinking last night, she finally knew what she wanted. That was to protect her heart. 

She still liked both Sehun and Kris. Yet, she could give her heart to neither. For now.

Protecting her heart and sorting out her feelings first would be the best decision. 

She bit down her lip and took a deep breath before she finally knocked on his door. She stepped inside when she heard Kris' reply to come in.

Kris looked up while wearing his socks. Upon realizing it was her, he snorted. "Since when did you knock before entering my room?" He chuckled. "You know you could just come in right?" He stood up from the couch in front of his bed and walked to the drawer to get his tie.

Yeojin suddenly felt nervous and she lowered her head. Seeing his smile made her waver. She wasn't so sure to say what she wanted to say anymore, for she knew well that it would crush him and his smile. Would she really want to be the one breaking his heart? She wasn't so sure about that.

Suddenly she felt a pair of hands cupping her face to lift her head.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Kris asked with concern.

Her eyes strayed from his eyes to his tie. The tie she gave him for their second anniversary.

Damn it! She bit her tongue.

"Jin-"

"Kris." She willed herself to stare back at him again. Slowly, she pried his hands away from her cheeks. "I need to tell you something." 

Yeojin wanted to curse herself when he smiled and nodded silently telling her to go on. She gulped. "I..." Her eyes gazed down again for she couldn't bear looking at his eyes that stared at hers lovingly. "I meant what I said last night." With a sigh, she looked up again and regretted it almost immediately. His smile was wiped away, but she continued, "I can't love you, Kris." She closed her eyes sighing yet again. "I really can't. I do-"

Kris pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. "I won't leave you. If that's what you're scared of." He buried his nose on the crook of her neck; his breath tingled her skin. "I will never leave you, Jin. You won't lose me."

Yeojin was stunned. Her heart was pricked with guilt, and taking air seemed to pain her more. With him being so close, she couldn't help but to think of the kiss they shared yesterday. The scent of his cologne reminded her of his touch. Just the thought of it almost made her want to kiss him senseless again. 

But it wouldn't be fair for him. Not if it were just lust. Not when she couldn't really love him back. 

She wished she could give him her whole heart, but her heart was a mess. Kris didn't deserve this kind of heart. A little unwillingly, she pulled back from the hug though she let his arms stay around her.

"It wasn't just that, Kris," she mumbled.

"Is it... Sehun?" He heaved a heavy breath when she only stared back at him. "Can I ask why you kissed me?" 

She looked away in shame. "I was frustrated over Sehun and Lin." But that wasn't why I took the kiss further. I did it because I wanted to. She wanted to confess, but it would be paradoxical with her claim of not being able to love him.

"Kris," she started again while lowering her head further. "You really should stop loving me. I'm not a good wife for you."

Yeojin couldn't understand why Kris didn't get that she was hurting him because instead of getting mad at her, he lifted her chin and captured her lips with his. For just a few seconds. But even though the kiss was brief, it was successful in raising her heartbeat and taking her breath away.

"I can't control your feelings for someone else," he breathlessly told her before she could even say anything, "but you can't control mine either, Jin." He hugged her again resting his chin on top of her head. "If you really do like him, then so be it. But give me a chance to prove myself. To show you how much I regretted pushing you away all these years."

"You're... not mad at me?" Yeojin frowned. This was confusing. This was not the reaction she imagined she would get from him.

She sensed a pause from him before he confessed, "I'm hurt. But getting mad at you won't do anything." He released her from his embrace and brushed his fingers through her hair. "Oh!" He adjusted the collar of her uniform. "Better hide that mark." He cleared his throat, then walked to the bed to get his suit jacket. "We need to go now or we'll be late."

Yeojin blinked as she watched him took his car keys from the drawer.

"The other driver is now with Mom at the hospital. So I'll have to drop Jinho at his school first. Mr. Ahn will drop you and Lin off at yours. I'll probably need to check out our house too. We left the dough balls abandoned yesterday. Oh! I'll get Beavie for you," he told her without a pause while he rushed here and there to get his things. 

He finally paused at the door when he realized she had not moved an inch. "Why are you still standing there?" He sighed and grabbed her hand. "Yeojin, you'll be late. Let's go."

She tightened her grip on his hand. "Kris." She tugged his hand to momentarily stop him. "I hurt you," she stated and bit down her lip in frustration. "If you're hurt, you should be mad at me. Get angry! Shout at me or something!"

He blinked at her as she stared back at him. Instead of complying to her suggestion, he gave her a small smile which caught her by surprise.

"Getting mad at you would only drift us apart again. I would rather lose in an argument than lose you." He then scoffed amused. "Do we really have to do this sentimental talk right now? We really need to go. Come on."

I'M BACK!
HAPPY [very belated] NEW YEAR! (It's 2017 already? O.O
I better put an end to this story this year)

How have you been doing? Sorry it took me a long time to rewrite this chapter after stupidly deleting everything few months ago (?)

Anyway, I think I'll give a pat on my own back for rewriting it because it's better than the accidentally deleted one (my personal [conceited] opinion btw lol) And I have to cut the chapter here because it's getting too long. But this means I'll update again soon!