SASYA'S (YOUR) POV

The journey back home was dull and quiet. Usually, he would at least speak a word to me no matter how tired he was but this kind of silence that he was showing me was completely different than before. He has been focusing his eyes on his phone from the moment we stepped out from the back door of the indoor stadium. Insecurity tend to increase within me, whenever a smile were to be created on those lips of his everytime he received a new text.

I let out my frustrations by clenching my grip tightly on the steering wheel. The urged to check on who he was texting was so overwhelming. I gritted my teeth and took deep angry breaths, trying to be as patient as I could.  After parking the car inside the garage, I opened the door harshly and slammed it hard. I secretly eye him just to see his reaction when I was boiling with rage that my actions earlier did not affect him one bit. To add on the worst, he projected that smile again.

2 hours later...

After a refreshing shower, I sat on the king size bed with a magazine in my hand, browsing through the pages. My eyes were not 100% focused on the articles but was being glued to him instead. Still in contact with his phone and that started to piss me off.

 

"Babe, go and wash up, you need plenty of rest from the concert!" I purposely distract him, to prevent him from even having some skin ship with his phone

 

Without any reply, he gently put his phone on the side table. He removed his shirt exposing those delicious abs that I could not help but to stare at it.  He grabbed a white towel from the closet and proceed to the washroom. Now that was a bit more relief. Before I could even start reading the first word from an article, I felt vibration coming from his phone.  To stop this insecurity feelings, I reached out for his phone and unlock it.

 

"Phew, at least his password iwas still my birthday date," I told myself as I read through all their text messages.

Every sentences I read were like sharp thorns being pierce right through me.

 

Jenny:

I miss you too Youngbae! :( Shall we meet? I have something to confess to you too.

Taeyang:

Of course Jenny. I'll meet you tonight then at our usual place? I'll see you there alright? Let's make this right once and for all. See ya at 10pm?

Jenny:

Great! I'll be waiting then!

 

A twinge of pain and disappointment hits me deeply. Why was he still texting his ex girlfriend? I thought they broke up like a few years ago. Something was surely not right here. My watery eyes tend to focus on his shadow figure from behind that frosted glass washroom door with countless of negative thoughts looming inside my head.  Was she the reason why he has been avoiding me? So his feelings for her came back and his feelings for me was shrinking away now?

I immediately put his phone to the way it was earlier, when Youngbae came out from the washroom, making his way straight to the closet. It tends to make me wonder because he usually sleep with only his boxer on but seeing him selecting a very presentable outfit was totally making me feel extremely worried and hurt right now.

 

"Bae why are you dressed up so nicely? Going somewhere?" I asked in a slightly angry tone

"Mmm," he replied, styling up his hair at the full length mirror, ensuring he looked great with the outfit that he used to wear when he proposed to me

 

In a rushing manner, he grabbed his phone and walked towards the door when I stopped him by giving him a back hug. I sobbed silently so he didn't hear and find my actions suspicious.

 

"Babe, I love you. Be careful and be home fast ok?" I said with a very heavy heart that I am actually putting my relationship at risk upon allowing him to go but...

this might be the last time right? I blinked back tears that threatened to overcome myself.

 

TAEYANG'S POV

Why must she be this concern at this point of time? The tone in her voice urged me to turn around and wrapped my arms around her waist. I've come to realise I missed my moments spending time with her.  Miss the way she use to welcome me home from work with her cheerful voice and without fail giving me a peck on my lips and no matter how tired I am I will always have the energy to respond to whatever she does to me. A small grin appeared on my face as I recalled back on how we used to wrestle playfully and cuddled up together on the bed at this timing. 

 However, I can't bring myself to even face her upon knowing that I've done lots of things which was obviously hurting her deeply inside.  So I guess we need some time apart as I'm having lots of mixed emotions going through within me. I don't know whether what I'm about to do will be better for the both of us.

Her grip became tighter every minute that passed, like she knows pretty well what I'm saying inside my heart. Feeling bad, I placed my hand on hers and I could sense her relief breath at my back. Instead of shoving her hands away, this time I waited for her to let go slowly before I made my way out of the house. As I was driving to meet Jenny, Ji Young's nagging kept attacking my ears.

"Don't tell me you still have feelings for Jenny? Come on, have you forgotten what she had done to you before?"

"Youngbae, let the past be the past. And why are you avoiding Sasya now? My cousin is way better than your ex arra? Don't tell me all of the effort that I've contributed to get you and my cousin together was just a waste of my time?"

"I've told you many times before, don't let your greed affect your personal life. So what just because you think your album is not the number one in the kpop chart, you're blaming Sasya for that? And now you want to get back to Jenny and for what you tell me? Using her voice as an advantage to boost up your fame? You once told me Jenny was a hypocrite for using you as a spare tyre whenever she had a hard time but now from what I see, you're just like her too. "

 

That saying totally hits me hard like a bullet through my chest. I frowned in frustrations while focsuing on the road when Ji Young's voice appeared again.

 

"You should be thankful she is being understanding. She gave you space when you're bvsy with your album and instead of complaining that you're not always with her, she even encouraged you. Listen, you can't be the best all the time. You can't expect the whole world to like you. Our job as celebrities are to be strong when it comes to haters and their negative comments. So, don't ever say that your girlfriend is giving you a hard time and please, think before you act. You're my friend and I don't want you to end up regretting,"

"It's my life Ji Young!!! I decide my own path! DON'T INTEFERE WILL YOU?!!"   I remembered screaming at his face

"Haiz....whatever you say Youngbae. You're a grown up now and you know whats right and whats wrong BUT....if anything happens to my cousin, be it physically or emotionally, I will never forgive you. Ever.."

 

Fuming with full of formidable anger, I drifted my car and pull the brake causing my car to came to a sudden halt at the side of the road. With my head resting on the sterring wheel, I let out tears of anger thinking of how stupid I could get at the age of 27. 

 

"Childish Youngbae! You're so ing childish!" I kept repeating to myself

 

SASYA'S (YOUR) POV

I have no idea how may pails could fill up the tears that I've shed a few minutes after Youngbae had left. My eyes kept looking towards the door in hoping that he would return back into the room and we would cuddle up like what we used to do. The higher I expect, the bigger the disappointment awaits me. I was dating the sadness when suddenly, I remembered that he told me about his usual meeting place with his ex before.

I gave up crying in sadness and his mysterious actions earlier was killing me slowly inside that I went to the closet and  got changed to whatever that caughts my attention. With the house lights still on, I  grabbed my phone and the house key and made my way to that very place. They better be there.  I reached that deserted park and scanned the entire place. Using my hoodie as the only hiding weapon, I started to stroll around that area when my eyes managed to capture them. I hid behind the bushes and sadly I could only monitor their actions since they were quite far from me.

 

"Why are they getting close? Oh please, Youngbae don't you dare touch her...tsk..," I sobbed in silence

 

They were having some sort of like serious, desperate conversation when Youngbae pulled her towards his embrace. As he her hair pamperedly, I felt the pain of rubbing my skin against a sharp box grater. Seeing her surrounding her arms around his waist felt like lemon was being squeezed all over the fresh injured wound creating an excruciating painful sensation that I could not help it but to let those precious jems flow out from my eyes.

 

"Am I really gone from his life? Tsk....Why Youngbae, why?" I whimpered behind the bushes feeling so regret for having to witness such a heartbreaking scene