“Cut!” the director yelled. He and the assistant director watched the playback of the footage while Hongbin and Jaemi stared at each other. He wasn’t supposed to do that. He wasn’t supposed to put his lips anywhere near hers and she wasn’t supposed to be ok with him doing that. She felt nauseous. Jaemi furrowed her brow slightly and took deep breaths. He wished that he could read her mind.

                “Hongbin, I actually liked that adlib you did. We’ll keep it. That’s a wrap for tonight everybody,” the director said. Upon hearing that, Jaemi let out a short sigh and hastily walked off the set. Hongbin reached out to grab her arm, but he reacted a second too late.

                Once she was back in her dressing room, she frantically started looking for her change of clothes. She just wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

                “Is everything ok, Jaemi?” Miyoung asked, noticing Jaemi in her frustrated state.

                “Yeah, yeah, where is my shirt, eonnie? I swear it was right here,” she replied without realizing that it was the first thing that she grabbed when she came into the room.

                “You’re already holding it. Are you sure you’re ok, Jae—“ Miyoung started. She was cut off by the sound of knocking on the door. Soeun popped her head in the doorway and smiled at Jaemi, oblivious to her current mood.

                “Oh good, you’re still wearing that. Let’s go to a real club together,” Soeun suggested enthusiastically.

                Jaemi hated clubs. She went once with Joohyuk and Dani on her 21^st birthday and it wasn’t fun at all, but tonight, she felt like she just needed a good drink.  A nice, tall glass of anything alcoholic fixed anything. She gladly accepted the invitation.

                Soeun went to go invite all the other cast and crew members. She saw Hongbin pacing outside of Jaemi’s door and smiled brightly, ready to play matchmaker; practically everybody knew of his crush on her and they all felt bad for him, considering that she said she already had a boyfriend. However, there were the skeptical few, like Soeun, who believed that Jaemi only said that to save herself from attacks from Hongbin’s fans.

                “Hongbin! Are you busy tonight? Jaemi wanted to know if you wanted to go clubbing with us,” Soeun said casually. His eyes widened, not really believing what he heard.

                “E-excuse me? Did you say that Jaemi wanted to know?” he asked.

                “Yeah, she told me she wanted to go if you were going to go,” Soeun fibbed.

                “Ah, really? Oh, well then, um, can you tell her that I’ll go? I just need to tell my manager that I’m going, but I’m going, so…yeah…” he mumbled. Soeun chuckled and assured him that she would pass the message along to Jaemi. He thanked her and ran to find his manager.

                He knew he was supposed to go back and practice for VIXX’s upcoming comeback, but this was big: this was Jaemi wanting to do something with him again. He absolutely had to convince his manager to let him go, just for one night. With how down Jaemi had been lately, Hongbin wasn’t sure if this chance would ever arise again. He smiled to himself, thinking about how she was even joking around with his earlier today. She was finally opening up to him again and he couldn’t lose this chance.

                While Hongbin was busy persuading his manager, Jaemi left with Soeun to go to the nearest club. Jaemi didn’t even make an attempt to look like she was vaguely interested in dancing with everybody; she made a beeline to the bar. She barely had enough cash to buy a water bottle, but she could always count on somebody to offer her a free drink. Hyuk would always tell her that free drinks were just a perk of being his girlfriend. Thinking about Hyuk’s dumb jokes made her even more desperate for a drink.

                As if on cue, a random guy came sat down beside her and offered to buy her a drink. She gladly thanked him and wished that he would take his hand off of her knee. The young man started a conversation with her and wouldn’t take the hint that she wasn’t interested in talking at all. She agitatedly sipped on her drink without making eye contact with him while he rambled on about whatever.

                “So are you here alone, sweetheart?” he asked. He continued without giving her a chance to answer, not that she would’ve anyway. “Yeah, I came with a friend of mine but he’s probably busy in the back room, if you know what I mean. Haha, yeah. He’s the only friend I can count on to have a good time. All of my other friends are nerds who don’t do anything but study or watch anime. They’re total losers. They don’t know the first thing about the real world and how to talk to real people, especially pretty girls like you.”

                Jaemi clenched her jaw. She didn’t like how he was talking about his friends. She knew that the guy would die of shock when she told him that her boyfriend was one of those “nerds” who apparently didn’t know how to talk to girls like her. The thought of Hyuk studying his off for his finals while she was out drinking made her feel even worse than she already was. She asked the bartender for another drink. She was already on her third drink of the night, and she didn’t think she was going to stop soon. The idiot was too busy running his mouth off to realize that Jaemi was charging the overpriced drinks to his card.

                Hongbin arrived after a long battle against his manager. He found Soeun and Jonghyun dancing with everybody else relatively easily, but there was no sign of Jaemi with them. He panicked momentarily, worried that Jaemi left already. He looked around, hoping that maybe he was wrong. Somehow, he spotted her in the mass of people crowding around the bar.

                He excitedly approached her, but there were so many people in the way. As he got closer to her, he noticed the stranger sitting uncomfortably close to her. His blood boiled when he saw the stranger place his hand on her thigh.

                “So, do you want to come with me to check on my friend in the back room?” the stranger said, putting his hand higher up on her leg. Getting scared, Jaemi downed the rest of her drink in one shot and gathered her things.

                “Um no, I’m actually leaving right now,” she replied as she stood up, almost falling over from standing up too fast.

                He grabbed her arm to help her regain her balance and said, “Let me take you home. It’s the least I can do.”

                “No, it’s fine, really,” she answered. She suddenly gasped when she felt his hand on her . That was the last straw for nice-guy Hongbin. He started shoving people out of the way to get to Jaemi. Once he got to her, he harshly grabbed the stranger’s hand and removed it from her body.

                “H-Hongbin? W-what are you doing?” she stammered nervously, totally conscious of all the stares and whispers of the people in the area wondering where they’ve seen Hongbin and her before.

                “Come on, Jaemi, let’s go,” he said before pulling her out of the club. She instinctively put her head down and covered her face with her other hand.

                Although she wasn’t totally drunk yet, she still couldn’t think totally straight, otherwise, she wouldn’t have entered the same taxi with Hongbin. And she definitely wouldn’t have let him into her apartment at 1AM.

                “Ah! Home at last! This place !” she yelled as she kicked off her shoes and pulled out her hair tie, letting her long hair unravel itself from the elaborate braid. The effect of the four glasses of beer that she had was finally starting to kick in.

                Hongbin smiled to himself, he never thought he’d see her drunk. He looked around her huge living room and wondered why she would ever think that this . He’d love to live in a big, modern space like this.

                “Hey you! Lee Hongbin!” she called from the kitchen. “What do you want? All I have is water so you better say water.”

                “Ok then, I’d like some water,” he replied, amused by her drunken state.

                “Woops, I lied,” she laughed. His heart did little somersaults. He couldn’t remember the last time he heard her laugh like that. “There’s nothing here!” she shouted happily. He thought she was joking or something, like how she was joking about not liking her apartment.

                Jaemi didn’t say anything else for a couple of minutes. Worried that she might’ve hurt herself, he walked into the kitchen. He furrowed his brow in confusion when he didn’t see her. He actually didn’t see anything in the kitchen. No dirty dishes, no coffee maker, no rice cooker; there was actually nothing there.

                “Jaemi? Are you still in here?” he called out. Suddenly, she attacked him with a hug from behind. He stumbled forward from the force she used to hug him.

                “It’s been so long. I miss this. Don’t you?” she said, burying her face into his back. Hongbin smiled brightly and his heart swelled with happiness hearing her say that.

                 He gently placed his hand over hers. “Yeah, I do.”

                Hongbin turned around to hug her back and she hugged him even tighter. For the first time in a while, she felt safe and happy. As good as it felt to be wrapped in somebody’s arms; she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

                “Why didn’t you come sooner? I missed you so much,” she said, her voice trembling from guilt. This was wrong, it was very wrong, but she couldn’t help it. Hyuk had gone into full-on studying mode. She hadn’t talked to him since last week and she wouldn’t be seeing him for another 9 days.

                Hongbin silently rubbed his thumb against the back of her head. It was so calming, but it wasn’t right. Hyuk was supposed to be the one calming her in the middle of her break down. And maybe if Hyuk was here, she wouldn’t be having this breakdown in the first place. She wanted him here desperately, but why did she still feel content with Hongbin?

                He knew she was drunk, and he hoped that she was the type to be more honest when she was drunk, and not the type to spout nonsense. He looked down at her; she looked so pained and conflicted.

                “Jaemi,” he said softly. “Do you love me?” He held his breath waiting for her answer.

                She couldn’t believe that she was even thinking about this. If he asked that question a month ago, or even just a few days ago, her answer would’ve been a decisive no, but tonight, she wasn’t sure. She knew what love was; she loved Hyuk, but tonight, she let the lines blur with Hongbin. She worked so hard to keep her high past self in the past, but that stupid almost kiss with Hongbin reminded her of what it was like to be in love with somebody who was capable of showing that he loved her back.

                The anticipation was killing Hongbin, literally. He didn’t know how much longer he could’ve held his breath. Then, slowly, but surely, Jaemi nodded her head. He almost didn’t believe it, but she really was telling him that she loved him.

                He smiled widely and slowly leaned in to close the space between them. Jaemi started crying, overridden with guilt. She longed to feel his lips on hers, but she shouldn’t have. She shouldn’t have those thoughts, but she was, and she couldn’t help it, especially when she could feel his breath on her lips.

                He stopped just before he could kiss her, noticing the tears rolling down her face.

                “What’s wrong Jaemi?” he asked concernedly.

                “I-I think… you should go, Hongbin. It’s late,” she replied. She pushed him away from her and walked towards her bedroom. Hurt and confusion spread across his face. Just two seconds ago, she said she loved him, and now she was acting like this. He was suddenly reminded of their break up; one second she was kissing him like everything was normal and the next she was telling him that she wasn’t going to love him one day. Feeling upset and betrayed, yet again, he walked out of her apartment, slamming the door behind him.